Dangerous Love

by Brenae Shaw

  I felt like all of this was my fault. I put my baby girl in danger over actions that I couldn’t control, even though I tried my hardest to. I seen Rashad pacing up and down the hallway and I could tell just like me, he blamed himself.

  “Hey man. How you holding up?”

  I went over to him to calm him down.

  “I umm...I’m hanging in there I guess. I just hate this happened to her, you know? I feel like it’s my fault. What if she don’t make it? How am I going to live without her?”

  At this point, he couldn’t hold the thuggish image up anymore. He fell to his knees and cried his eyes out.

  “Say, one thing I know, for shit sho, KJ is a fighter. She gone make sure she fight through this because believe it or not, she need you. And she knows you need her. She need your strength right now Rashad. You gotta have faith and continue to pray and fight with her.”

  I held him like my own son. Actually, I just gained a son right now. It’s funny how God put people in your life unexpectedly. Rashad lost everything. He had nobody. But I’m going to make sure he’s good like he’s my own, and that’s facts.

  30 minutes to an hour passed by and KJ was still in surgery. Around this time, Nick and Kendra made it in and waited in the family room with the rest of us.

  “Where is my child? Where is my baby? Is everything ok?”

  Lisa came in like a concerned parent, so I went over to her before she went into a panic attack. “Where is KJ? Is she ok? What happened?”

  “She’s in surgery right now. I’ll explain everything later.”

  “No! I need answers now! What the fuck happened to my child?!”

  I had to take a long pause before I could tell her. “...KJ was shot in the chest, while we was getting her back.”

  “Oh my God! What did you do to her?! You said she was safe with you! You said that you was going to bring her home safe!”

  I was finna respond, but Rashad came in to fill in the blanks.

  “Ms. Lisa, it wasn’t his fault. The gun that went off, wasn’t meant to go off. The direction we thought it went in, wasn’t the case, and we found out it hit KJ, but it was too late.”

  Lisa was finna say something until the doctors came in.

  “Are you the parents of Kori Rodriguez?”

  “Yes, we are her parents.”

  “Your daughter made it through surgery, but we weren’t able to save the baby. We tried, but that would have killed them both. She’s in her room recovering. She should be coming down off her anesthesia, but you all are more than welcomed to see her.”

  “My baby was pregnant?! How far long was she?!”

  “She was 2 months.”

  “Ok, thank you so much. Which room is she in?”

  “I’ll take you to her room now.”

  To know that my baby was pregnant and lost it was hurtful and devastating. But everything works for a reason, and God wasn’t ready for that blessing yet. The news was going to kill her once we told her. We all walked into her room and she was sleeping so peacefully. My beautiful baby girl. She still had bruises from whatever Black did to her. I’m glad I shot that nigga head off. Now, we were just playing the waiting game. Waiting for her to wake up.

  Rashad

  “Your daughter made it through surgery, but we weren’t able to save the baby. We tried, but that would have killed them both. She’s in her room recovering. She should be coming down off her anesthesia, but you all are more than welcomed to see her.”

  The words pregnant, and couldn’t save the baby, was ringing in my head. I lost my child. They couldn’t save them both, but I rather KJ’s life. We can have plenty more. But damn, it was all making sense now. She wasn’t having her period. But then again, she wouldn’t have noticed because she was healthy and stayed working out, so of course she wouldn’t have noticed.

  “Rashad, you good my nigga?”

  Nick came and dapped me up.

  “Yeah, I’m good bro. Just trying to process everything.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean man. But you know KJ a fighter. She gone be upset when she find out, but with you by her side, y’all going to get through this together. But look, I’m finna dip out. I just stayed to make sure she was ok. This y’all personal time. Ima come mess with her tomorrow when she fully up.”

  “Alright bro, thank you. I’ll let her know you stopped by, iight?”

  “Nick, you mind taking me home? Please.” Kendra was asking with a not for sure face because she didn’t know if Nick would tell her yes or no.

  “Do I have to? How you get up here?”

  “Nick, I’ve apologize over and over again. I don’t know what else you want from me or want me to do!”

  “Leave me alone, that’s what I want you to do!”

  “Say man, it ain’t my business, but look man, life too short, alright? Look what just happened, we could have lost KJ today. You don’t have to forget what she did, but at least forgive her fam. You know she been beating herself up about what she did. Take her home and actually talk about it bro, real talk.”

  “Ooooooooo, you suppose to be the black Dr. Phil?”

  I laughed.

  “Hell nah. But I know little shit like this can be solved.”

  Nick smacked his lips.

  “Iight fam, you right. Come on Ken, let’s go. Talk to you later bro.”

  “Alright. Y’all be careful.”

  “Thank you Rashad. Tell KJ I love her so much and I’ll be up here to see her tomorrow.”

  “No problem. And I will. Let me know when y’all make it home.”

  “Ok.”

  “Rashad, she’s asking for you son. We didn’t tell her about the baby, I feel like as the father of the child, you should let her know.” “Thank you for loving our baby girl the way you do. Kori told me everything that happened. And you know, you are more than welcomed to stay with us if you need to. And if there is anything that you might need, don’t be afraid to call, ok? You are family now and if we got it, you have it as well.”

  “Thank you so much Ms. Lisa. I’m going to stay with my grandma until the rest of the school year, but thank you for the offer. I’m very grateful.”

  “No problem. Well, we gone leave you two alone. We’re going to go home, shower, and change clothes and then come back. Let us know if you need anything or if anything changes in her health.”

  “Yes ma’am, I will.”

  I walked into her room and her beautiful green hazel eyes turned directly towards mine. Even with the pain, her eyes had so much life in them. I couldn’t help but to love her.

  “Rashad...Hey baby, you okay?”

  “Yes baby, I’m fine. Just happy you’re here with me...Ummm, baby, there’s something I need to tell you, and I don’t know how...While you were in surgery, they found out that you were 2 months pregnant, and they couldn’t save the baby. If they tried, then that would’ve meant losing you as well.”

  KJ was staring off into space with tears coming from her eyes.

  “I know baby. I knew I was pregnant. I was trying to wait until graduation to tell you. I was willing to take on that task with you, but God has a reason for everything, and I’m ok with that. Our angel wasn’t meant to be here yet, and that’s ok.”

  “Baby, I love you so much. Baby girl, I thought I lost you. I wouldn’t know what to do. You’re my life line.”

  “You wasn’t going to lose me baby, trust me. I was coming back to you no matter how much I had to beg God himself.”

  She laughed.

  “Ouch that hurt.”

  “Baby take it easy. I love you baby girl.”

  “I love you too baby.”

  Three months later

  “KJ you’re going to be late to your own got damn wedding! You can’t be on time if your life depended on it! Come on child, you gotta be at the school by 5:30pm.”

  “I’m coming mama!”

  I couldn’t find my cords that I earned from NHS, all A’s honor roll, community work, and other clubs t
hat I was involved in during school. Oh, and with everything that happened, I was still able to hold a 4.0 GPA and was valedictorian at my school, which I had to make a speech for.

  “I got them down here with the rest of your things. Now let’s go!”

  “Awww look at my baby girl. I’m so proud of you baby. You have been through so much and yet accomplished so much. So, with that being said, me and your father got you an early graduation gift.”

  I heard a horn outside and almost screamed. Matter of fact, I did scream.

  “Oh my God mama!! Daddy!! This for me?! This my car?! Oooooooo can I drive it now?! Please!”

  “Ummm, no ma’am. After graduation, yes. But, you deserve it all baby. This is one of many. You gotta wait until afterwards though so come on, let’s go, so we can hear your speech.”

  I made it to the school just in time. I ran into Nick, Kendra, and Rashad. Damn my man can clean up nice. He had on a red button down shirt with his chest out and some gray suit pants with some expensive ass Louis Vuitton red bottoms. “Damn, my man looking fine as ever. Come give me sugar.”

  “Mmhmm, and so do my baby. I’m loving how this red dress fitting your sexy ass body too.” “Oh really now? Well come a little closer.” I whispered in his ear some nasty and sexual things and I felt my best friend trying to get released from his cage.

  “Oh, you ain’t say nothing but a word.”

  “Ok, y’all can get a room and finish that later. Come on, we gotta go and find our seats.”

  “Graduates, it’s time to start. Please take your seats.”

  “Alright, that’s my cue to go. See y’all after graduation?”

  “You got this baby, I love you. See you after graduation.”

  “Move around with that soft shit now. But duhh nigga. See you after graduation.”

  I hated Nick so much but loved his dumb ass at the same time.

  “See you after graduation love.”

  Kendra hugged me like it was her last time.

  “Don’t start. We cried enough already, now go. I’ll see y’all afterwards.”

  I was so nervous to give my speech that my hands were sweating like crazy. It was getting closer and closer to my time that I didn’t even notice that they called my name next.

  “Now we will have our valedictorian, Ms. Kori Rodriguez.”

  I heard people chanting my name and it felt good to hear the ones you grew up with be on this journey with you. I’m not going to give this long speech because my feet already hurting, and I wanna be as classy as I can.

  “I don’t know everyone’s story, nor struggle. I don’t know what you all had to get through to make it to this day. But, you made it. You made it through the trials and obstacles that were set to hold you back. And you didn’t let not one thing stop you. You kept fighting, you kept pushing, and more importantly, you never gave up the faith that you needed to keep fighting. I myself went through the struggle, not knowing if I was going to make it. But here I am, standing proudly in front of my fellow classmates. Today is the day we close this chapter and start a brand new one. Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do anything in life. Don’t let them determine your dreams or your life. Don’t get comfortable on settling, because that’s how you get stuck in a life that you really don’t want. Be your own person, be your own mind, and live your life to the fullest. To the class of 2012, let’s walk into the new world with our heads up high and our chest out. Because we finna do the damn thang!...Sorry.”

  I laughed as I took my seat. I felt good. This was my story and I was just getting started with just one chapter at a time.

  Time was cutting down. We moved our tassel to the other side of our caps and waited for the words.

  “Congratulations to the graduates of 2012!” We then threw our caps up to the sky and this new chapter in our lives had just begun. I found my parents and my man and then came Nick and Kendra. This was the new start of our lives. We all were starting college this fall, so this summer was ours. I got into LSU on a full scholarship, Rashad got into TSU for Business and Management, Kendra also got into LSU with a full academic scholarship and she’ll be training for off season for track until the following year, and Nick decided to join the Navy instead of going to college.

  With me and Rashad going to 2 different schools, I knew it was going to be a test for our relationship. But, I believed in us. With everything that we’ve been through, I know that we can get through anything. Friendships were tested, but real friends always come back as one. Parents were getting married and were finally happy. Life was good. But, life still goes on and there’s going to be more obstacles to get through. So, remember to always have faith in yourself and just know that faith the size of a mustard seed, will get you just as far if you believe.

  The End