Sharing Backstage

by Paige Parsons

  They’d spent a few nights drinking too much wine and reading way too much on the internet about domestic discipline and dominance and submission and watching videos that had them both blushing and laughing. It was like doing research for a show when they were in college. Only, it was her life, and Harper realized that Jeff was exactly the person to do her exploration with on the subject. Jeff would always be her safe place and her best friend. Some women had the best girlfriend, but it wasn’t Maddy or her mother or sister who made her feel less uncomfortable about things, it was Jeff. He even tried spanking her one night, acting out a video they’d seen. That and the second bottle of wine that lead them there had both been foolish mistakes.

  She ended up in a giggling heap at his feet, with her sweats around her ankles. It was also in that moment that they unanimously decided that they never needed to try that again or see one another naked again, unless their lives depended on it.

  Nine weeks had come and gone too quickly.

  “You don’t have to park, Jeff.”

  “Yes, I do. Don’t think a few weeks in the city have you ready to tackle the airport. I don’t want this Lucas showing up on my doorstep talking about you never made it home.”

  “He doesn’t even know my plans. Don’t give me that face. I’ve had all the courageous conversations I can handle for the time being. I will call him, but not yet. The person you should be worried about is Mira. Mother hen will be calling two minutes after the plane is scheduled to land. You know how she is.”

  “Lord, I thought she might have eased up since our spring break days.”

  “Not even a little, but in her defense, there was the year we sublet our hotel room for extra cash and slept on the beach.”

  “Yeah, she was not a big fan of mine after that. Hopefully, by the time I come out for your wedding, I’ll be off her list.”

  “Shut up! I’m not about to get married. I’m not even ready to talk to Lucas, much less plan a wedding with him.”

  “You will. He’d be crazy to let you get away, and from what you’ve said, he’s your missing puzzle piece.”

  They got her all checked in, and Jeff took her as far as he could.

  “Thank you for everything, Jeff. I love you more than I can find words to say.”

  “Ever the poet.”

  “Shut up! You might not be my just-in anymore, but you are still the best friend a girl could ever have. No matter what happens with Lucas and me, you helped me understand what I need and to accept it, and that’s a gift with an unimaginable price tag.”

  “You done being all mushy and shit? You did a great job on the show, Harper, and even though you say being in New York isn’t for you, I want you to know it’s ready and waiting for you if you ever change your mind. As for all that help I gave, well, if you say so. Harper Harrison, you are the most amazing woman I know, and there isn’t anything you want that you shouldn’t have, even if it isn’t what society says you should want.”

  “Oh, my god, do not make me cry before I get on this plane. Folks will think they’re flying with a head case.”

  “I love you, Harper, and I’m going to miss you.”

  “I’m glad I came, and I’m glad I stayed. I love you, too, Jeff.”

  They hugged one last time, and Harper got on the security line, watching her best friend walk away. She prayed he found the missing piece to the puzzle of his heart, especially since he’d been so helpful in reconnecting her with hers.

  Chapter 15

  Present Day

  Intruder Alert

  They were working on balance, and neither of them was a master at it. Lucas didn’t even attend the pre-planning meetings that mainly focused on the gala particulars. They weren’t cold or awkward with one another, but the measured distance had been deliberate, and not even Riley pushed the issue. She gave Harper an office near the front of the building with the rest of the administrators, and not in the production hallway, on purpose. Her need for both of them on the team had not been exaggerated, and she figured proximity was just throwing salt in their wounds. Silently, she still rooted for them. They were there, together, and she knew that was at least a start.

  Harper felt ready to scream, though. The excessive politeness that went along with getting along had her on edge. She missed hanging out, working late, and trading stories of backstage shenanigans one or the other had missed. It was all a part of them working as a team, but she knew she had to live with the consequences of her choices. She ended things, she left, she slept with Jeff, and she decided to come back. All of the moves were hers. It was what she said she wanted, and damn if he wasn’t letting her have it.

  Jeff had called a few times to see if she’d bitten the bullet and had a real conversation with Lucas yet. Each time she reported no, he threatened to spank her for procrastinating. They would have a good laugh, but it did nothing to motivate her.

  It was hard enough that she had to be the one to initiate the conversation about how wrong she’d been to run, but there was no way she even considered moving forward with Lucas without telling him what happened between her and Jeff. She was a coward, but not a liar. The way she wanted to crawl out of her skin around him had Harper wishing Lucas would spank it out of her. She needed to tell him about New York, in detail, and that meant owning up to running, sleeping with Jeff, and wanting Lucas back. Even the thought of that much honesty made her stomach and brain do somersaults.

  Being back home and at the theatre since her escapades in New York was a welcomed event that she couldn’t even allow herself to relish. She kept hearing Sr. Agnes’ voice telling her that her conscience was unclean.

  Her homecoming had been too good. She didn’t deserve it, but she continued to receive. It was probably why her sleep had been so fitful lately. Somehow, the miracle of coming away from her time with Jeff not just emotionally intact (better, even) and their friendship still in place had happened, and she had returned to an almost better version of her life. Finally snatching the carrot Riley had been dangling at her, Harper loved her new job and the challenges that came with it (and there were plenty), but the thing that amazed her daily was Lucas. Not only had he not blocked or protested her return, but he did what he could do to lessen any awkwardness that could come up. He kept a lot of distance between them, and any attempt at personal exchanges were quickly thwarted, but she couldn’t really blame him, and so she stopped pushing for surface closeness when she wanted much more but was unwilling to be honest enough to get. She wanted to focus on the work. They all needed to, really, so that was her reasoning for deliberately avoiding the paramount conversation they should have had. As far as everyone around them was concerned, things were business as usual.

  Lucas truly didn’t have a problem with Harper being the one he reported to during production. He preferred focusing on designing and building. Doing contracts, paperwork, and sitting in meetings were not his strengths. He handled those things just fine when pressed into service, but he was happier to relinquish the responsibility than either Riley or Harper thought.

  The only issues that came up usually surrounded Harper thinking her position excused the behavior that was her shorthanded method of getting things done, that risked her mortality. There was also tech week, which could try the patience of everyone on the team, but he knew it was particularly hard on his ex-girlfriend. She was a perfectionist, and sometimes her receiving of human error wasn’t well handled. Harper wouldn’t be the first production stage manager to lose it during the process, but she was one of the few he knew who thoroughly beat herself up with guilt when her control slipped. The gala would be four weeks of straight tech. His biggest problem was that it was no longer his job to take care of her or give her what she needed to bring her around. There were plenty of things Lucas thought would work, but none resulted in their getting back together, and a few had the real potential of ending in a scene neither of them would want. He couldn’t do anything that would scare her off. He’d promised himself and, more importantl
y, Riley, that if any issues came up, they wouldn’t be his, and he worked hard to keep that promise.

  As he passed her new office, tucked in, up front and close to Riley’s and the rest of the business offices, he heard her ripping into someone about the gala. He had thought the meeting went smoothly for the most part. The director and set designer had finally accepted the modifications he’d made to the set. It would not be as high as either of them wanted, but Lucas wasn’t about to put actors or the theatre at risk for a ten-minute moment. Once that crisis had been averted, he had to admit he tuned out to a lot of the party details that didn’t require his technical expertise. He would coordinate the entryway layout and special effects with the lighting and sound designers as the event got closer, but he didn’t know the differences between fonts that would look best on a brochure, nor did he care.

  Her voice was practically a shout the closer he got.

  “No. No, I cannot drop everything and meet you at the designer’s. Well, I guess you should’ve waited to make your promise until after you spoke to me. What the hell were you thinking, anyway? At least he had the sense to tell you to double check with me before running, oh, I don’t know, two grand worth of programs. Ugh! Send the files to me electronically. Yes, I know the colors are going to look different, but I guess that can’t be helped now, can it? Next time just give it to me straight. Don’t downplay forgetting the proofs. Admit to the massive screw up so I can fix it before the sun goes down.”

  You couldn’t slam a cell phone down to end a call, but Harper was real hopeful that her abrupt ending had the same effect. Maddy was her assistant and her best girlfriend, but time apart had highlighted some of the girl’s lesser character traits.

  “Knock, knock. Anything I can do to help?” Lucas filled her office door like most actors believed their presence filled the stage, only he didn’t try half as hard.

  Harper took a moment to savor that presence before responding. She missed the days when he would do all he could to solve anything that came up in her life.

  “You feel like proofreading the gala program, silent auction brochure, and calendar? How about spanking the daylights out of my lying assistant? Trust me; she’s overdue.”

  “You’re suggesting a spanking to solve a problem? She must’ve pushed all your buttons.” Lucas wanted to crack up, but the frustrated look on Harper’s face made him keep it in check. Whatever was going on was serious, and he could tell she was on edge.

  “She needs something— That girl! Talk about not growing up. I love her like a sister, but if this is what it’s been like for Mira all these years, I owe her one hell of an apology.”

  His smile made the little dimple in his chin more pronounced. They did their dance of silent communication before she exclaimed, “Forget it. I’m just going to be here a lot longer than I planned on tonight.”

  “I was gonna head out and eat something other than fast food. Why don’t you come with me, and then we’ll come back here and knock out some work for a few hours?”

  “I don’t just have a few hours of work, Lucas. I have an all-nighter ahead. I need to be at the print shop by ten in the morning, or he won’t guarantee completion of the job on time.”

  “Harper, no way. Why isn’t Maddy down here helping you?”

  “Because, geez, Harper, it’s Friday night. I already have plans, and it’s not like we can both proof the same document at the same time.”

  “Let me guess. Those were her exact words?”

  “Minus the whining twang, yeah,” Harper said. “Her tone was more matter of fact, with a touch of you’re being ridiculous thrown in to keep me from calling her on her bullshit. She made me seem unreasonable for even hinting that she give up her social plans to sit in this office with me, even if it was only for moral support.”

  “Now I see where the spanking comment came from. I know you want to shake her, but you’re not, so don’t waste too much time on pondering it.”

  “Riley will let me fire her.”

  “You’re not going to do that, either,” he replied.

  “Because I’m all bark and no bite where that girl is concerned.”

  “She’s your friend. You’re as much a mentor to her as Riley is to you. It’s your job to coach her and make her better. Firing her won’t do either of those things.”

  Leaning back in her swiveling, rolling chair, Harper groaned. Damn him for being right. Maddy would get her night out, and she would get eye strain, but the work would get done, with no one the wiser. The show had to go on. She’d have to throttle her friend later. Snapping back upright, she was about to consider his offer for a decent meal. One hour wouldn’t make that big of a difference, and working with her belly full of mini-fridge fare sounded dismal.

  “And I’m not letting you spend the night here and then drive home half asleep,” he added.

  It was like having ice water dumped on any warm feelings she was starting to have surface. Well, she was going to set him straight real quick.

  “I wasn’t exactly asking your permission, and you can’t tell me no or stop me.” The last bit trailed off a lot lower than the rest, and Harper immediately dropped her gaze from his. When he didn’t respond, she continued. “I have to get it done. My assistant screwed up, so I have to make it right. Isn’t that exactly what you do, you know, when your assistants screw up? I seem to remember you re-cutting archways one night not too long ago.”

  “Apples and oranges, baby—Harper. My guys are volunteers, and I can’t demand a damn thing from them. Maddy is your assistant, who is getting a check, by the way, and she should be, at a minimum, held to the fire for a massive screw up like this.”

  “You don’t even know what she did.”

  “I don’t need to know when I heard how much it could cost.”

  “Only if it doesn’t get fixed. and I intend on doing that, Lucas, so drop it.”

  Lucas relaxed his posture and stared at her. His eyes almost pleaded with her to settle down. Finally, she rolled her chair back and stood up to stretch. He knew that sitting for any length of time left her back stiff and that if she was deliberately stretching, she hadn’t taken a break in too many hours.

  “Come here.”

  She didn’t even hesitate. She also didn’t care what he thought it meant, because she wanted him to crack her back. She needed him to, actually. If the night held a few more hours in that damn chair hunched over proofs, it was a downright emergency.

  “You know the drill; cross your arms.”

  Without any hesitation, Harper followed his direction and turned her back to him. The few steps between them felt like a mile as she waited for him to approach. His scent got stronger the closer he got. He was the only man she knew who made wearing no cologne smell heavenly. At first, he just stepped up to her back and let their bodies touch. There wasn’t much she could do except wait, so she did. Her heart was beating entirely too fast. She was convinced he could see it through her t-shirt. Damn it, what was he doing back there? She was seconds from vocalizing her impatience when he moved in and settled his arms around hers. Harper sank back and released a sigh that couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than pure contentment.

  “I was going to remind you to take a few deep breaths to relax, but it doesn’t sound like you need me to.”

  “Hush. I remember what to do; besides, you’re the only one I trust to do this other than my chiropractor.”

  Lucas listened for her deep cleansing breaths, and then took a few of his own. When he felt they were on the same rhythm, he squeezed a little tighter and slowly started lifting her as he leaned back farther and farther. He heard the breath swoosh out of her and, as she began to sink into him, he began to stand back up straight, gently bringing her back down. Neither of them released the hold.

  “Better.”

  His breath was warm and soothing in her ear. Calmness went from him into her on that little bit of air. As much as she needed that calm, she knew she’d given up any right to getting it
from him. His being right always irritated a little, no matter how dependable it was to be around. All she could do was shake her head and bring her arms down to let him know their little encounter was over.

  “Dinner?” he asked. “We can go out or order in. Your choice.”

  “Giving me a choice. That’s out of character.”

  He cocked his head to the side and gave her the look of a thousand reallys.

  “Cheap shot,” she said. “Sorry. You know how I get when I’m stressed.”

  “And hungry.”

  “Are the menus still in your desk drawer? I haven’t ordered in much since I moved into here.”

  The over confident, sexy bastard walked out of the office knowing she would be right behind him. Harper grabbed her cell phone and laptop and followed him to the backstage area without locking her own space.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” she told him. “You knew I’d come back here and not eat alone. Besides, you have the menus.”

  “I’m going to the shop to prep some things. My card is on the desk.”

  “Sweet. You’re treating, too. You don’t want to pick what you want?”

  “You trust me to crack your back, but I can’t trust you to order me dinner. It should sound just as silly out loud as it did in your head. Oh, and get two spring rolls, because I am not sharing mine.”

  “So selfish,” she said.

  He didn’t respond, but she heard him laughing all the way down the hall.

  Placing the order, Harper laughed to herself as she ordered only one spring roll. Half of the fun of having a meal with Lucas was stealing food off his plate. It made him crazy, but he always let her do it. She felt like a little piggy ordering a lot of food, but it didn’t seem to matter much if she ate more as long as it came off his plate. Harper hated that he could eat anything he wanted and still kept his body fat down to a nearly undetectable number. Meanwhile, when she stared at food too enthusiastically, her pants seemed to shrink.