On the Same Page (Secrets Book 4)

by K. C. Wells

  Then the silence sank in.

  Heath was staring at him with a focused expression, like he was trying to see what lay beneath Xavier’s skin.

  It was unnerving.

  His heartbeat raced. “What’s wrong?”

  Heath frowned. “I’ve been sitting here, trying to understand why you’re doing your best to convince me this is a good thing. I mean, every time I say something, you swoop in and say, ‘Yes, but.’”

  “There’s nothing wrong with being positive, is there?”

  “I’d agree with you, except you just said something that I’ve heard very recently. In fact, you could have both been reading from the same script.”

  Oh fuck.

  Heath leaned forward. “Which brings me to a question I’ve asked before, only now I really want an answer. What is it you do for a living? And don’t even think about hedging or changing the subject. I want to know. What do you do?”

  Xavier had known he couldn’t put it off forever. “Heath, I—”

  Heath smacked a hand on the coffee table. “What do you do? Tell me!”

  Xavier drew in a deep breath. “I work for Church, the man who owns the company that’s going to buy the buildings and rejuvenate the area.” His chest tightened, but there was no way around the admission that would lose him Heath for good. “This is going to be my project.”

  “Your….” Heath’s jaw slackened, his eyes wider than ever. “So you’re the one who’s going to be putting these people out? Me included?”

  “No! I…. They can start again, with a better place. Just like you. They can—”

  Heath lurched to his feet, his eyes blazing. “I don’t believe you.” He clenched his fists at his sides. “How could you do this?” Then all the color slid from his face. “Oh my God. You turning up that night, on the pretext of buying a book. Taking me for a coffee, for dinner. You knew this was coming, didn’t you? You came down here to try to get a feel for the people.”

  “Fuck, no!” The words fell instantly from Xavier’s lips. “Of course I didn’t.”

  “And the club? Reading the same books? The role-play?” Heath’s black beard was stark against his white face. “Was fucking me part of it too? Is that…? Oh God. Now I understand. That’s why you didn’t say you loved me back. It’s because you don’t. I was just….” Tears filled his eyes. “You were using me.”

  No, no, no. This was all going wrong. “No, Heath, I—”

  Heath’s eyes were like steel. “Get out.”

  “Heath, listen to me. I—”

  “Get the fuck out of my home!” he screamed. His chest rose and fell rapidly, and he was clearly fighting to breathe. “I can’t believe I told you I loved you. You’re nothing but a bastard, and I hate you. Get out of my home!”

  Xavier got up and shuffled to the door. Pain bloomed in his chest, and his mouth dried up. He opened the door and paused. “I can see why you’d think all those things, but you’re wrong. And I don’t expect you to believe me now, but I do care about you.” Telling Heath the truth would only aggravate the situation. Saying I love you was not going to solve this battle.

  Heath snorted. “If this is how you care for someone, please feel free to hate me.” He gestured to the staircase. “You know the way out. Don’t worry about locking up—I’ll take care of it after you’re gone.”

  With that, a huge, gaping maw opened up in Xavier’s chest. He stepped out of the flat and headed down the stairs, with the realization he’d just lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  WHEN HEATH glanced bleary-eyed at his alarm clock, he wasn’t surprised to see it was three o’clock. Sleep had eluded him so far, and every time that familiar warmth stole over him, pulling him gently into oblivion, his mind tossed up another recollection of that conversation and he was once more wide-awake, his emotions in turmoil.

  As soon as Xavier had left, Heath regretted his words. Well, some of them.

  Do I really believe he went to those lengths, just for his job?

  Heath lay there and played every conversation over and over in his mind. He recalled Xavier’s expressions, searched his memory for any signs of guile, and came to the conclusion that Xavier had not been playing him for a fool. That didn’t make Heath feel any the less angry, but what filled him most was sadness. Because unless something changed, he was about to lose his business and Xavier, and Heath had no desire to return to being the lonely guy who found books to be better company than people. It didn’t matter what he’d said to Xavier. Despite all his rage and shock, Heath still loved him.

  I keep thinking there has to be a way out of this, but I’m damned if I can see it.

  At some point, exhaustion overtook him, and he fell asleep.

  It was almost ten thirty when he opened his eyes to the sound of church bells, and the first thought to cross his mind was that there were people he needed to see.

  Heath needed to pay a visit to Subspace.

  The thought that Xavier might be there too flitted through his head more than once, but he tried not to think about that. He couldn’t face Xavier right then, not when he was such an internal mess. He didn’t doubt that they’d meet at some point, but he wanted to be in a better frame of mind when that occurred.

  He wanted to see Rob, and Tim, and Ellis, and anyone else who might be around. He needed to see them.

  Heath spent the majority of the day losing himself in household tasks that didn’t require thinking. His brain was already overtaxed. His appetite was nonexistent. As the afternoon drew on, he figured he’d leave it until the evening before heading out.

  He lasted until six o’clock.

  HEATH STEPPED into Secrets, glancing around to see if there was any sign of Xavier. He glimpsed Vic talking with three other men, but he was the only one Heath recognized. Heath quickly headed for the lift.

  At Subspace, the guard buzzed him in, and Heath found himself alone in the room. Damn. His heart sank, and he realized just how much he’d relied on seeing someone up there. Unable to sit still, he got up, tossed a few darts at the board, then checked out the video games before finally looking through the DVDs that Eli and Jarod had put together for the guys. He had to smile at the fairly eclectic mix. There was everything from disaster movies to thrillers to Disney.

  When the door opened and Tim stepped in, Heath blew out a relieved breath. “Hey. I was beginning to think I wouldn’t see anyone.”

  “I didn’t realize you were up here.”

  Heath pointed to the DVD collection. “Okay, I have to ask. Who watches Disney?”

  Tim’s eyes twinkled. “I couldn’t possibly say.” He cocked his head. “Are you okay?”

  It’s that obvious? It was on the tip of his tongue to say he was, but then Heath shook his head. He’d come there looking for support, hadn’t he? “No, not really.”

  Tim came over and slid an arm around Heath’s shoulders. “Why don’t we sit down? I’ll get you something to drink, and then we can talk.”

  He nudged Heath toward the couch, and Heath flopped into it, all the energy sucked out of him. Tim went to the cooler and pulled out a bottle of juice. He twisted off the lid, then handed the bottle to Heath, who took it gratefully.

  “Thank you.”

  Tim sat beside him and put a hand on Heath’s knee. The contact was welcome.

  I can do this. I’m not going to fall apart at the seams. Heath drank some of the juice and relaxed a little.

  “So what’s up?” Tim regarded him with an earnest expression. “You look like you’ve got all the cares of the world on your shoulders.”

  “I’m not sure where to start.”

  “Well, does this have something to do with Xavier? Is he okay?”

  Heath barked out a laugh. “Right now? I wouldn’t know. I’m not even sure I care.” Except that was the problem. He did care, a lot, despite everything that had happened.

  Tim’s eyes widened. “Oh God. What on earth has gone wrong?” Before
Heath could reply, Tim surged ahead. “I think we need a few of the others up here. I know Rob is downstairs, and the guard said Ellis was in his office. I saw Fred around too.”

  “What? Oh, no. I don’t want to bother them.”

  Tim frowned. “You’re our friend, aren’t you?”

  God, Heath wanted to be. He loved Secrets, and he had begun to feel comfortable and accepted with the guys.

  Tim grinned. “Trust me. Anyone who can make Ellis read a book is a mate for life. He won’t stop talking about Duck! And he’s almost done with the first Harry Potter book. You’ve got your hooks into him.”

  That was all Heath ever wanted out of life. To bring the joy of reading to people. To make them love the written word as much as Heath did.

  “There. They should be here shortly.”

  Heath snapped his gaze to Tim. “What?”

  Tim held up a phone. “I texted them. They’re on their way.”

  “You have them all on text?”

  “Well, yeah. The thing you have to remember is that Rob’s idea about Subspace was for it to be a safe place for us to meet and talk. You’d be surprised how many times we’ve gotten together when one of us has a problem or just needs to get something off their chest.”

  Heath’s phone chimed. He pulled it out and read the message.

  Heath needs to see us in SS. Please come up if you can.

  “You—you sent it to me too?”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” Tim leaned in close. “Did you really not think we were your friends?”

  This was why Heath couldn’t hate Xavier. His whole existence had been the shop, and Xavier had opened up a new life for him, with people who understood him.

  Whatever happened, Heath did not want to lose that.

  The door opened and Ellis came in, with Rob on his heels. Behind them came Freddy, Jason, and a few other guys Heath hadn’t met yet.

  “What’s going on?” Ellis took a seat across from Heath. “What’s wrong?”

  Tears welled up in his Heath’s eyes. They came.

  “Hey, no. Don’t cry.” Ellis appeared alarmed by the sight.

  Freddy came over, crouched down beside the couch, and wrapped his arms around Heath’s neck. “What’s going on?” The others all sat, too, and their genuinely troubled gazes did nothing to quell Heath’s tears.

  Ellis handed him a box of tissues. “Here. Talk when you’re ready.”

  After a moment, Heath found enough calm to talk, slowly at first, but then the words tumbled out of his mouth. He couldn’t have held them back even if he’d tried. All the anger, the hurt, and the uncertainty about his life poured out. Through it all, the guys were constantly touching him—a pat on the knee, an arm over his shoulder, a hand taking Heath’s. When at last he’d finished getting it all out, Heath was drained.

  He raised his chin and met their gazes. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Fucking Xavier,” Rob growled. “What kind of Dom does that to someone he’s supposed to be taking care of?”

  Heath’s pulse sped up. “Is it really his fault? I mean, it’s his job, right?” He’d thought a lot about this ever since he’d thrown Xavier out.

  Ellis’s gaze narrowed. “Don’t defend him, Heath. Yeah, it’s his job, but he should have been upfront about it, none of this skulking around, hoping no one would find out. It sounds to me like he was hoping you’d move and he’d never have to admit he’d lied by omission.”

  Heath hadn’t considered that. Was Xavier trying to play both sides? To have his cake and eat it too? The anger he’d pushed down during the night bubbled up again.

  “Fuck him,” Rob ground out. Then he slumped back against the cushions. “How are we going to fix this?”

  “I’m not sure we can,” Ellis said, squeezing Heath’s hand. “Compulsory orders aren’t something to mess around with. If Xavier’s company has the right to do this, then there might not be anything we can do to stop it from happening.”

  So everything was lost. In his heart, Heath had been afraid that would be the answer, but he’d held out hope. Now?

  Rob sat up straight. “No.”

  Tim turned to him. “What do you mean, no?”

  “This is bullshit. Heath’s bookshop is a hub business. It attracts people from all over. He shouldn’t have to move to someplace where he’s going to be a small cog in a big machine.”

  “All right, what do you suggest?” Fred asked.

  Rob sighed heavily. “God, I can’t believe I’m going to do this. He’s going to lord it over me for the rest of my life.” He pulled out his phone, then flashed a grin at Heath. “The things we do for friends, eh?”

  “What are you doing?” Ellis demanded, his gaze narrowed.

  “Calling the one man I know who probably has experience in these things.” He tapped the screen, then gave another sigh. “Vic? Could you… could you come up to Subspace? We need to talk to you.” He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, save the jokes for later? This is serious.” He pocketed his phone. “Well, that did it.” His gaze alighted on the door.

  Heath was still dumbfounded by their obvious concern and by the fact that they wanted to help.

  The door opened, and Vic peered around it. “Is it safe to come in? I mean, you haven’t built any man traps to catch any unwelcome visitors?”

  Rob gave him a mock glare. “Funny man.”

  Vic entered the room and closed the door. He took a good look around. “So, this is your sanctuary. The one Doms aren’t allowed in, huh?”

  “Shut up and get over here. We have a problem, and you’re the only one I can think of to turn to.” Rob patted the seat cushion beside him, and Tim got up to make room.

  Vic seemed startled, but he hurried to Rob’s side and sat down. “I like it when you need me, you know.” All trace of humor was gone.

  Rob took Vic’s hand and brushed a kiss over his knuckles. “I always need you, you git. But right now, it’s Heath who has a problem.”

  Vic leaned back and gave Heath a warm smile. “Okay, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

  Yeah, real life was nothing like the books. In many of the stories Heath had read, if the sub had a problem, the Dom would have him in the sling within the first few chapters in order to fix it. Here? They talked, listened, and hopefully came up with solutions on how to proceed.

  He took a breath. “Okay, this is the situation.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  XAVIER SAT at the Secrets bar, a glass of lime and soda in his hand. I should have listened to my mum. It looked like she’d been right all along when she’d warned him this job wouldn’t make him happy. He slaved away most days for twelve hours or more, but when push came to shove and the moment arrived to stand up and speak out, he’d done neither. And because of that, he’d lost the one thing that had actually made sense in his life.

  He scanned the bar and the entrance area for Vic. When he’d called, Vic said he might have a solution to Xavier’s problems. Xavier loved the thought, but he doubted the veracity. He’d messed up badly, both in his personal and professional life, and now he wondered if he could salvage any of it.

  A heavy sigh rolled out of him. God, this is such a mess. Not a word from Heath, but after their last altercation, he didn’t really expect to hear from him. Xavier had half hoped he’d see him at the club, but there was no sign. And why would he want to see me?

  A meaty hand landed on Xav’s shoulder. “Now that sounds like a man with a lot on his mind.” Vic took the stool next to him, placing a folder on the bar top, then signaled for the waiter. “Sparkling water with lemon, please.” Once the waiter had departed, he leaned on the bar, studying Xavier. “First off, I’d like to apologize for how long it’s taken me to get back to you. There are a lot of intricacies in this sort of thing that I’m not versed in, and I had people I needed to talk with to ensure I wasn’t going to give you bad advice. Now that I have something to say, I decided it was time to call you.”

  Xavier gestured to
the bar. “Well, you got me here. And I’m definitely curious.”

  Vic said nothing but gave the approaching waiter a smile as he placed a bottle and tall glass in front of him. Instead of replying to Xavier, he filled the glass and proceeded to drink half its contents.

  Xavier wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or throttle him. “Vic? The suspense is killing me here.”

  When Vic had drunk all the water, he leveled a steady gaze at Xavier. “Okay, let me ask you some questions before I get to why I called you here, okay?”

  Xav gave a sharp nod.

  “First up, you need to know something. Heath talked to the boys upstairs. He told them what was going on.”

  Of course he did. Why shouldn’t he? And now he was free to come to the club, alone, any time he wanted. For the first time, the prospect of seeing Heath with another Dom rose in Xavier’s mind, and his heart ached.

  He raised his eyes to the ceiling, and Vic patted his arm. “And no, he’s not here now.”

  Xavier looked Vic in the eye. “What was I supposed to do? It’s my bloody job.”

  The words sounded hollow, even to Xavier. He hated his job now. When he’d done it before, he’d never taken the human element into consideration. It had all been numbers, not faces. There were no Darias or Merediths. There had been nothing about being responsible for closing a business that had served the community for thirty or more years. There had been no… Heath.

  Xav hated to admit the truth, but there was no way around it. “I do my job, I lose Heath. I don’t do my job, and I’ll lose both the job and Heath. Either way, I’m screwed.”

  Vic quirked his eyebrows. “When boxed into a corner with very few options, I always choose to run with the one least expected.”

  Least expected? Xavier’s company—and now Heath—expected him to acquire the buildings, tear them down, and build luxury apartments. Church already had everything he needed to level the whole block and rebuild it into housing that would probably never get used. The city had given its blessing and was backing the project because of the increased tax base. Some of the property owners had already accepted the offer. What options were left?