On the Same Page (Secrets Book 4)

by K. C. Wells

  Xavier wasn’t fooled by their posturing. They understood, of course they did, but they wanted to put Xavier through the wringer. He felt sure it was payback from more than one of them for his last words to them, the thought that hadn’t left him since he’d first spoken with Church.

  “As a company, we need to think about profits. Of course we do. But in this case, we also need to think about the people our decisions will impact upon.” Heath’s image had arisen in his mind, and Xavier’s stomach had clenched.

  As chairman of the board, Church had thanked him for the presentation, then told him to return to his office while they deliberated. “We’ll call you.”

  His tone hadn’t exactly filled Xavier with hope, but he reasoned that might be down to Church trying to remain impartial.

  Why does it feel like I’ve failed Heath again?

  Just thinking of him was enough to make Xavier’s heart sink further. Two weeks and nothing from him.

  The door opened and Bea poked her head around it. “Mr. James, I wanted to make sure you’re doing okay.”

  “I’m fine, thank you. It’s just….” He expelled a breath. “I thought this would be done by now.”

  She chuckled and came into his office, softly closing the door behind her. “Sorry to say this, but no. Around here the wheels turn very slowly. You weren’t with us when we changed the logo on our letterhead, were you?” When Xavier shook his head, she rolled her eyes. “It took a week and about eight meetings with everyone weighing in. Something like this, I’m sure they’re going over everything with a fine-tooth comb.”

  As Xavier had known they would. This was a bold departure from what the Church company usually did, and it wasn’t as if he’d thought they’d agreed without discussing it. Xavier still believed this was the way to go. And after what Mr. Church had said about his son, Xavier was more determined than ever to make this work.

  “Mr. Church was talking to me about your proposal,” Bea said quietly.

  Xavier blinked. “He was?”

  She smiled. “For what it’s worth, Mr. Church told me he was confident it would go through. He said he’s fighting hard for it and that your idea is excellent. It’s going to take a lot of work, but he says it’s got the potential to revolutionize our business, if not the industry as a whole. He says with space being at such a premium, more and more people need housing, and though the high-end projects bring in money up front, your idea will generate an ongoing cash stream. That, he says, is what makes it worthwhile to examine.”

  That humbled Xavier. He knew it would be a lot of work. Nothing worth doing was ever easy.

  Bea patted his arm. “I want to say don’t worry, but I know that’s not possible.”

  She wasn’t wrong. Every night Xavier wanted to call Heath, to explain things to him, but if the project didn’t go the way Xavier hoped, there would be another conversation instead. One that would start with “So I quit my job today.”

  Xavier’s phone buzzed. He glanced at the display and saw Mr. Church’s name. “Here we go.” He took a deep breath before picking it up. “Yes, Mr. Church?”

  “Come to the boardroom.” Then he hung up.

  “Well?” Bea seemed as nervous as Xavier.

  “He said ‘come to the boardroom.’ No indication of anything.”

  “Good luck, Mr. James.” She turned and stepped toward the door. She’d stayed with him more than a few evenings, refining the designs, making suggestions, and offering new ideas that Xavier incorporated. She truly was a godsend. If—when—this went through, Xavier was going to ask Mr. Church about a promotion for her. He wanted her on his project.

  “Bea?”

  Another quick spin and a wide smile. “Yes, Mr. James?”

  “How long have we worked together?”

  “Oh, at least seven years. Why?”

  “Everyone else calls me Xavier or Xav, except you. Why is that?”

  She shrugged. “It didn’t seem proper.”

  “Well, would it seem more proper if I asked you to call me by my first name?”

  That grin came back in full force. “Yes, I’d like that.” She gave him a wink. “Good luck, Xavier.” She nodded toward the door. “Now go get ’em.”

  Xavier’s stomach felt like it held a lead ball. He got up and walked slowly to the boardroom, his earlier optimism having deserted him. So much was riding on this. On entering the room, the impassive expressions that greeted him were not at all reassuring. He stood at the table until Mr. Church beckoned him to sit before clearing his throat.

  “Thank you, Xavier. Before we share the results of our deliberations, I must say that the presentation you gave was excellent.”

  Xavier sensed a but coming.

  Church glanced at each of the board members. “While a few of the board members have expressed concerns, I personally think your concept is sound and on the right track. Certainly it would lead this company down unexplored avenues, but I don’t think that is a reason for dismissing it.”

  For the first time, a frisson of hope snaked through Xavier.

  “The idea that we can make money and serve the community would go a long way toward helping us attract new business. And if this is how we intend to do business in the future, then I’ve floated the idea that we could use a new project manager to handle these things. Though we’ve yet to work out any of the details, I was wondering if you knew anyone who might be interested in the position. Of course, their first job would be to work on this project, as we appear to be going ahead with it as you proposed.” He gave Xavier a knowing smile, and its full implication finally sank in.

  Oh God. It was Xavier’s dream come true. Well, his former dream. Now Heath was the most important thing in his life, and Xavier had to do whatever groveling was necessary to get him back.

  “With all due respect, sir, I’d be very interested, but there’s someone I need to talk to first. Could I let you know in a few days?” After making him wait two weeks, it didn’t seem like too much to ask.

  Church blinked, then chuckled. “I don’t see why not. But I’ll expect you to be on this ASAP.”

  Xavier assured him that would be the case, and then with a polite nod to the other board members, he left the room. By the time he reached his office, his phone was already in his hand.

  For what he had in mind, he was going to need a little help.

  HEATH HURRIED into Secrets, Rob’s text still on his mind.

  Come to Subspace right away.

  Heath hadn’t hesitated. He forgot about his dinner, grabbed a taxi, and headed over to the docks. Inside the club, he dashed over to the lift, his heart pounding. Something had to be really wrong. If he were honest, it made a refreshing change to be worrying about something else.

  Like Xavier.

  Two weeks. Two whole weeks and not a single word.

  Then again, Heath wasn’t sure what he’d expected. An apology? A declaration that he’d quit his job over the injustice of it all? Not that that made sense. Xavier quitting wouldn’t change a thing.

  He stepped out of the lift and glanced along the hallway to the guard, who buzzed him into the club. Heath opened the door to see—

  His jaw dropped. “What are you doing here?”

  Xavier was sitting alone in the middle of the couch. Then he noticed Rob, who was the only other person in there.

  Before either of them could get a word out, Rob pointed at the couch. “You, sit.” Then he nodded in Xavier’s direction. “And you, say your piece, then get out of here. It’s a Dom-free zone for a reason, and because of you we’ve had to break that rule twice.” When Heath hesitated, Rob growled. “I have four other guys downstairs who are willing to help me tie you down if need be. So play nice, sit down, and listen to what Xavier has to say, because this moping you’re doing is getting old.”

  Old? It had only been….

  Two weeks, remember? Then Rob’s words sank in. “Wait—you’re on his side?”

  Rob glared. “I’m not taking sides
. As far as you’re concerned, I’m fucking Switzerland when it comes to you two. All I care about is that you sort this out, now!”

  Except he had taken sides. He’d helped Heath out, and Heath was grateful for that. Plus, Rob was right. He’d moped long enough. Better to get it out in the open now and deal with it one way or another.

  Heath sat on the couch next to Xavier, and Rob heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank you. The whole world would run much more smoothly if people just did what I told them when I told them to do it. Now, the two of you are going to talk and—I can’t believe I’m saying this—you’re also going to listen to each other.” Rob chuckled as he walked toward the door. “I could so be a counselor.”

  For several long minutes after the door closed, neither Heath nor Xavier spoke. Finally, a deep sigh rolled out of Xavier.

  “Y’know, I’m just going to come out and say it. I fucked up, big-time.” He finally looked at Heath, and there was so much sadness in his expression that it tore at Heath’s insides. “I’m guilty of hubris, you know. Do you know how long I stayed away from the club? Not just Secrets, but its predecessor? For years. I’d gotten out of the habit because I always thought my job was more important to me. I figured it defined who I was. Then I met you, and suddenly the job stopped being as important. Oh, I still wanted the things I always had, but they moved over to make room for something I realized I wanted at least as much, if not more.”

  He paused, as if waiting for Heath to speak.

  Heath hadn’t heard nearly enough yet.

  Xavier folded his hands in his lap. “You might not believe me—and I would completely understand that—but I only found out about the project a week or so before you did. This was never some plan to worm my way into your life, or get to know you before I delivered the bad news, I swear. That doesn’t excuse me for not coming to you right away, or for trying to convince you that it was in your best interests. The truth of it is, the only best interests I was seeing were my own.”

  Okay, now Heath was interested. “Then why didn’t you say something to me?”

  Another sigh. “Because I wanted it all, Heath. I wanted you, and my job, and the corner office, and…. But the truth of it is, after I got my head out of my arse, I realized only one of those things truly made me happy. A man with whom I was finally on the same page. Someone who made me see what lay beyond the dreams and wants to what the needs were. And you know what? All those things I thought I needed? The only one of any importance was you.”

  Heath couldn’t miss Xavier’s earnest tone, but did that really matter? Even if he hadn’t known about it, Xavier was partially responsible for….

  Now it was Heath’s turn to sigh. Xavier had been doing his job, and even if it hurt, he’d tried to mitigate the damage by showing Heath other avenues that were open to him.

  Time for truth.

  With his hands clasped in his lap, Heath spoke in an even voice. “What you did hurt me, but I guess I can understand it. Still, I don’t want to lose my home because—”

  “You’re not going to lose your home,” Xavier interjected. “The project’s been changed.”

  “Wait. What?” Heath’s breathing quickened and his heartbeat sped up.

  Xavier gave a half-smile. “You have some amazing friends, do you know that? Vic came to me and showed me what they put together, as well as a… well, a not-so-veiled threat to go to the media about the project. They did for you what I should have done in the first place. They stepped up to protect you, your shop, and they did it out of love.”

  Heath wasn’t sure what to say. His head was spinning. Vic went to see Xavier? Then Xavier’s words sank in. “Wait. You’re saying this is something you should have done?”

  “Yes.” Xavier reached out tentatively and touched Heath’s cheek. “And I should have done it for the same reason they did. Out of love.”

  Heath’s heart was pounding. “What do you mean?”

  Xavier got off the couch and down onto his knees in front of Heath, which only set Heath’s heart hammering even more at the sight of this gorgeous man humbling himself. “I was never confused about my feelings for you. After you said I had only come to you to get my own way, I needed to show you that what you thought of me was wrong. I couldn’t say I loved you because I was dealing with so much guilt, and I knew that if I did say the words, you’d probably think they were a lie.”

  There was no probably about it, Heath knew that.

  “But now?” Xavier took hold of Heath’s hand. “I love you. And everything’s changed. They’ve offered me a job with a title. I can help rejuvenate areas by refurbishing them, but we get to maintain the structures and integrity of the neighborhoods, and I owe that to you. But the thing of it? Without you, my job—my life—is empty and hollow. If I had to choose, I would take you over any job any day of the week. You make me so fucking happy, in ways I never knew I could be. And I won’t lie. Yes, I’d like the job, but it doesn’t mean anything if I can’t have what’s most important.”

  The words flowed over him, but only three of them pierced Heath to the core. He loves me. Then another thought struck him, and warmth filled him. And he’s asking my permission to keep his job.

  Heath rolled his eyes. “That doesn’t even make sense. Of course you should keep your job.”

  “You don’t understand.” Xavier rejoined him on the couch. “If I keep the job, there might come a time when we would have to put people out of their homes. Just because we’ll be renovating some areas doesn’t mean we won’t have to take others down. You opened my eyes to the fact these are people with wants and needs, just like mine. They’re not nameless or faceless anymore.” He reached out and cupped Heath’s cheek. “They’re all you.”

  A lightness stole over Heath. He understands. “I know we need progress. I mean, I look at London on the whole, and I can see why it was necessary to take down houses in order to put up something amazing. But even when they build something where there used to be houses, they still invest in the heart of the neighborhood. The coffee shop? The restaurant? They’re what makes the place special.”

  Xavier smiled. “The bookshop and its owner are pretty special too.”

  Heath narrowed his gaze. “That was not me fishing for compliments.”

  To his surprise, Xavier leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips. “I know. But I wanted to say something to stop you in your tracks. There’s something I need to hear from you. Right now, while you’re not half asleep.”

  Heath was perplexed for a moment, until he realized what Xavier meant. Oh.

  He took a breath and looked Xavier in the eye. “This is me, wide-awake, telling you I love you.” There were other things he needed to say too, things to retract, words that must have hurt Xavier terribly, but Xavier was right.

  Those three little words needed to be out there.

  Xavier leaned in again, close enough that his breath warmed Heath’s lips. “I love you too,” he whispered before taking Heath’s mouth in a tender, lingering kiss that made Heath’s toes curl and sent tendrils of heat spreading through him. Xavier sat back. “When Church gave me the project, I tried to think of some way to make everyone happy. Much as I tried, I failed. I know you love your building. You’ve put your heart and soul into it, after all.”

  Heath nodded slowly. “And you know what? I’d have given it up if the intention was to build a civic center or a museum or something like that. But apartments that no one from the area can afford? Plus the shops they would have put there? That would have torn the heart of the area right out and replaced it with something cold and sterile.”

  Xavier exhaled slowly. “When I went to Church with this idea, I explained to him the reason I was so adamant was because my boyfriend owned a shop there. That wasn’t the only reason, though. Your friends are there. Your customers. All the things that make you who you are? They’re in that neighborhood, and no matter what I wanted, I couldn’t take that away from you. That was why I told Church we needed to find that
balance you were talking about. If we want to build something, make it something that will be for everyone, not just the rich.”

  Xavier’s words filled Heath with a quiet joy. “That’s all I wanted.”

  Xavier took Heath’s hand in his. “I know I have no business asking for your forgiveness, but I’m going to. I want to make this right between us, to get back to what we were building. I want us to… I want us to make a life together.”

  And right there were the words Heath had wanted—needed—to hear.

  Xavier squeezed his hand gently. “We can go as slowly as you need. I want to show you that you can trust me.”

  Heath’s breathing hitched. “But I do trust you.” He trusted Xavier with his body and had hoped to trust him with his heart. Over the last two weeks, he’d asked himself more than once if he would have done something different in Xavier’s shoes. Could he have turned his back on a dream he had, for the sake of another person? I was willing to walk away from Xavier over the bookshop, so doesn’t that make me just as guilty?

  In one brilliantly clear moment, Heath saw them as they could be. Neither was perfect alone, but together they had the chance to be perfect for each other, to learn from each other. Heath might have said “I love you” first, but then he’d lashed out in anger, instead of listening. Maybe he should take this as a learning opportunity of what not to do in the future, because he did want a future with Xavier.

  “You said you were guilty. Well, newsflash. I’m guilty too,” he admitted, finally saying the words out loud. “I was hurt and angry, and I pushed you away, instead of talking to you.”

  Xavier’s eyes widened. “No, you were right. I should never have hidden what I did. Honesty is one of the primary requirements for BDSM, and I tried to skirt the issue instead of facing it head-on.”

  Heath chuckled. “We’re a fine pair, aren’t we?”

  Xavier stilled. “We could be. I want us to be. But what do you want?”

  That was the easiest question Heath had ever had to answer. “I want you.”

  Now it was just a matter of making it happen.