HARD LINE

by Justice, A. D.

  Tawnee stares at me, the silence stretching between us. She searches my eyes, part of her wanting to believe me, wanting to accept this is real. But then her shields fly back up. Her expression hardens when her self-preservation kicks in. She shakes her head harder this time, and her lips form a thin line.

  “Nope. No way. I’m not falling into this trap again, Roman Scott. Do you have any idea how many times I gave you ‘one more chance’ over the years we were together? Too many, that’s how many. I wasted so much time trying to give you love that you never wanted, and you made that painfully clear to me—repeatedly. Your little speech just now was very convincing, I’ll give you that. For a few seconds there, I actually considered giving this dog and pony show of ours one more try. How stupid am I?

  “You have this wonderful moment of clarity about how shitty you treated me and how disappointed your mommy would be in you, so you want to make it up to her. I mean, what the fuck, Roman? You’re a grown man. Whether she’s here, you know what love is… and you know what it isn’t. You’re trying to make amends to someone who isn’t here anymore, not to me. I promise you this—I won’t put my heart out there for you to trample all over it again. Any chance you had of reconciling with me has long passed.”

  She pushes back from the table, takes the wine bottle and her glass, and walks toward the back door.

  “Tawnee, put all the other bullshit aside and answer one question for me with the full, unadulterated truth.”

  She stops in her tracks, only turning her head to look at me over her shoulder. “What do you want to know?”

  “Do you love me?” I hold my breath and wait for her honest answer.

  “Roman, if I thought any good would come out of it, I’d answer that question. But since I don’t see anything changing between us, we should leave this subject alone.”

  “I deserve that after driving you away like I did. I’ve wanted to tell you how sorry I am every day since then. But I was too proud… too stupid… too scared to do anything about it. That coded message kicked my ass into gear—because I realized I didn’t want to live anymore if I’d lost you for good.

  “Then seeing you again nearly made me lose my mind. I’ve almost bitten my tongue off a million times since that moment to keep from shouting out how much you mean to me. But I knew if I just threw my feelings at you all at once, you’d run away again because you wouldn’t believe me. I’m telling you now because it’s the truth. If I die tomorrow, I want you to know no other woman has ever held my heart. Telling you has nothing to do with seeking my mom’s forgiveness. I only want yours.”

  She lowers her face, staring down at the floor. I watch helplessly as big fat tears fall straight down from her eyes. I slip out of my chair and take a couple of steps in her direction. I don’t want to crowd her, but I don’t want to give her an easy out to turn away from me either.

  “I’m right here, sweets, waiting for you with my heart wide open. All you have to do is step into my arms, and I’ll shower you with all the love you can stand. For the rest of your life. For the rest of our lives together, Tawnee.”

  “I can’t.” Her whisper is so full of both pain and longing. She wants to, but she won’t allow herself to chance playing the fool again.

  My next play is a gamble… and I’m betting the house on it. I’m sending up silent prayers it works.

  “Bullshit. You can, and you know it. You’re just scared. You think you need this brick wall up all the time. Never let anyone see your weaknesses. Never admit to having any. Keep your emotions out of everything—including relationships—so you’ll be taken seriously.

  “You should know better than anyone that’s not how any of this works. Teams are built based on the strengths and weaknesses of the individuals in them so there’s a balance. Emotion plays its part the same as logic does. Brute strength is just as important as intellectual power. Persuasion can be more effective than force.

  “Do you know what’s both your weakness and your strength?”

  “What?”

  “Love, sweets. Love is. You are my weakness, Tawnee. I’d lay down my life for you this very second. But you’re also my strength. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. If you can honestly tell me you don’t love me, I’ll let you go right now, even though I know I’ll never be happy again. But if it means you will be, that’s all that matters to me.”

  Actions speak louder than words.

  Sometimes the words need to be said, though.

  Now that I’ve completely opened my heart and mind to her, the decision is all up to her. What will she choose?

  Walk into my arms—or walk out the door?

  Chapter 14

  Tawnee

  Roman takes another step closer to me. I want to believe him, and that’s why I’m hesitant. Am I considering giving in and walking straight into his outstretched arms because I think he has changed? Or is being with him what I’ve wanted for so long, I can’t see myself with anyone else now?

  With my eyes closed, I drop my head back, inhale a deep breath, and slowly release it and try to blow the stress out on my exhale. When I envision my future, who do I see at my side? Who’s there to comfort me, love me, and share even the most mundane details of my day with? I relax the tight control I’ve kept on my feelings and let the scene flow freely in my mind. I can see every detail as clearly as if I’m watching a movie on the silver screen.

  When I open my eyes, I turn to face Roman. Those hypnotic blue-gray eyes are laser-focused on my every move. His inner turmoil swirls in them—fear, unease, and love. Now I know I’m not wishing it into existence. He’s showing me in the only ways he knows how.

  Hot tears spill over onto my cheeks, but I don’t bother to wipe them away. They’ll only be replaced by more waiting for their turn. My heart knows exactly what it wants, regardless of whether my brain agrees. My feet move of their own accord, rushing toward his waiting embrace. Somehow, in the few feet that separated us, I manage to put the wine bottle on the counter just before launching myself at him.

  He catches me in midair, and his strong arms engulf me. I wrap my legs around his waist as I encircle his neck with my arms. He crushes his mouth to mine, and everything around us disappears. Our lips and tongues explore urgently, needing more and more, until we’re consumed with unfulfilled need. The inherent electricity between us arcs, igniting our bodies with so much heat, our shirts seemingly melt off us and fall into a puddle on the floor.

  My back hits the wall, jarring me out of a Roman-induced haze, and I break our locked lips for one more confirmation that I’m not in this alone. His arm, leg, and the wall hold me up while he searches my face, his love for me still shining brightly in his eyes. His gaze lingers on the wetness still on my cheeks. He wipes away the remnants of my tears with the pad of his thumb then leaves soft kisses in their place.

  “I’ve missed you so fucking much, sweets.” He leans his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. “Now that I have you back in my arms, don’t expect me to let you go ever again.”

  There’s so much regret in his voice and so much tenderness in his touch. Is it too much to hope the childish man I knew before has matured since we’ve been apart? Honestly, I don’t want him to change everything about himself. He’s still the man I fell in love with long ago. Our problems weren’t all his fault. Now that he owned up to his shortcomings, I owe it to him to do the same.

  “Roman, I…” His lips are back on mine before I can say another word.

  “Unless you’re about to talk dirty to me, and I mean filthy, nasty, dirty talk, whatever else you want to tell me can wait. But my balls are bluer than the water out there in the gulf. They can’t wait one minute longer.”

  Leave it to Roman to make me laugh and put our current situation into perspective with only a few well-chosen words. “Yep, it can wait. Absolutely.”

  “Can’t tell you how glad I am to hear you say that. I was about to strip those pants off you, bend you backward over the couch, and fea
st on you instead of the tacos still on the table.”

  “Oh, okay. Put me down, and I’ll be glad to help you out with that.”

  His sexy smirk of reply is enough to dissolve my panties right off my body. He lowers my feet to the floor, skims his fingers down my chest, and relieves me of the rest of my clothes. With his arms wrapped around my waist and his hands resting on my ass, he walks me backward until we find the couch.

  “Lie back, sweets. A growing boy needs to be fed. And I’m fucking starving.”

  Before I can respond, his mouth is on me. His tongue licks, flicks, and teases. Stars burst behind my eyelids when he sucks my clit into his mouth. His teeth barely graze over the sensitive bud, and my hands automatically fly to his head. I curl my fingers into his hair, gripping it tighter as each wave of pleasure crashes through me.

  This man makes me crazy in so many ways. Every touch reminds me of when we were a couple years before. The memories of our good times have gotten me through so many dark patches when we were apart. The way he makes love to my body always left me more than satisfied and thoroughly spent. He takes his time, finding the exact spots that drive me wild, and uses it to our mutual advantage. Every touch, every kiss, and every bite only make me crave him more.

  His hands slide under my ass, lifting me off the couch to give him better access. Then he begins his thorough feast yet again, until my screams fill the room and my body quivers from the overstimulation. He sheds the rest of his clothes and helps me upright again. The tender kisses he gives convey his feelings without words. The way his hands cover my cheeks, reverently holding me while our tongues perform their own mating ritual.

  “I’m the luckiest fucking man in the world,” he whispers in my ear, then leaves a trail of kisses and nips down the sensitive cord in my neck. “It’s been too fucking long, Tawnee. Too long since I’ve tasted you, since I’ve felt you wrapped around me, since I’ve heard you scream my name loud enough for the neighbors to complain. I will rectify all of that several times tonight.”

  “They warned us not to have the police called on us.” My breathy reply is hardly an objection. Merely an observation.

  “I never agreed to that stipulation.” He pulls my hair to one side and follows it around the back of my neck. “Now, be a good girl and bend over for me.”

  Goosebumps spread out across my skin, and a shiver runs down my spine when I do as he commands. I know what’s coming next, so I grab the edge of the couch in a death grip. I feel him behind me, skimming the head of his impressive cock along my slit. Teasing. Tempting. Torturing. The anticipation builds inside me, making all my muscles tense into tight coils while I wait for his next move. Every second that passes only adds to the thrill.

  Then all of a sudden, he ends my anguish when he thrusts inside me. He fills and stretches me to accommodate him, and my body loves every second of it. The soreness I’ll feel later is more than worth the intense pleasure he’s giving me right now. His fingers dig into my hips as he holds tightly. His hips thrust harder and harder, punishing me mercilessly while stopping just short of inflicting pain. He is the only man who has ever had the power to make my body obey his every command.

  After we christen every surface in the room and my body has been bent in more ways than a contortionist could manage, he finds his release. At last. My legs are about as useful as overcooked spaghetti noodles. My arms shake from overuse. Every inch of my body is covered in sweat—his and mine combined. I’m basically a pathetic bag of skin and bones lying in a heap on the floor, unable to move, barely able to speak, and incapable of removing the permanent smile that’s now etched on my face.

  “That was an incredible first round. Let’s eat the tacos, chips, and dip then I’ll be ready for round two.” He springs up from lying on the floor to standing straight up as if he’s an acrobat. Not a single sign of fatigue or lethargy in his demeanor.

  “Make my plate and bring it over here. I’ll eat mine from right here on the floor,” I mumble into the throw rug. The one that gave me carpet burns in places no one should ever have carpet burns.

  He chuckles from above me. “No can do, sweets. As much as I love looking at your sweet ass up in the air like it is…and all the ideas your current position gives me… we’re still having dinner together. Come on.”

  His strong arms wrap around my waist, and he hoists me up to stand with no effort at all. With his hands on my cheeks again, he places sweet kisses on my lips.

  “Thank you for getting me up off the floor.” My weak smile is only because I obviously don’t have his stamina. But he knows, so there’s no explanation needed.

  “My pleasure. Let me grab you a shirt to wear, and we’ll finish the gourmet taco meal I cooked.” He winks and jogs—jogs—to the bedroom to find whatever clothes the guys left here for us.

  While he’s rustling through the closet and drawers, I reheat the taco meat and shells. Taking a moment to examine the spread he made for us, I realize how much work went into it. He made the dips from scratch with all fresh ingredients. The toppings for our tacos are all neatly cut up in small bowls. The entire presentation was important to him… and it was all for me.

  Tacos and guacamole shouldn’t make me feel all emotional. This isn’t the reaction of a normal, sane person.

  The small gestures do matter the most. His attention to the details that others overlook shows how much he cares. The dedication to making every facet as perfect as possible confirms he values my opinion. Was his impromptu speech truly spontaneous and unrehearsed, or has he been holding in all those thoughts and feelings much longer than I realize?

  “I found a T-shirt you can lounge around in.”

  When I turn from the stove to take the shirt, I realize he’s been watching me, assessing my reactions while I didn’t know I was being observed. “Thank you.” I pull the shirt over my head and turn back to finish reheating our food.

  “Want to share what you were just thinking about with me? You were latched on to something intense.” He takes the reheated food from me and moves back to the table.

  “I’ve been angry with you for a long time, and I just realized how I never gave you the credit you deserved. There were so many little things you did for me every day that I never even acknowledged. You took care of a lot of things without my asking you to or even knowing you did. If I hadn’t reacted the way I did at the end, I wonder where we’d be today.”

  “You’re not the one to blame for our problems, Tawnee. The little things I did never made up for everything you did for me. Not that I’ve changed that much, but I was immature and unappreciative. Your leaving me was the slap in the face I needed to wake the fuck up. At first, I thought you’d be back in a day or two. But then you struck out on your own, got this sweet gig with one of the world’s wealthiest men, and you were gone.

  “That made me grow the fuck up. I couldn’t depend on you to take care of all my bullshit anymore. When I had to take responsibility for all the little things I’d counted on you to handle for me, I couldn’t deny how shitty I’d treated you. As far as commitment goes, you had every right to expect that and more from me. For the record, I was always committed to you. I never even looked at another woman, much less thought about holding out for someone better.

  “Where would we be if you hadn’t left me? We’ll never know. As much as I hate to admit this, I don’t think we’d be right here, right now, in this new relationship we’ve found. For that, I can’t regret losing you three years ago, because now I can promise I’ll never do anything to make you want to leave me in the future.”

  His words still echo in my mind long after he spoke them. He urged me to fix my plate before the hot food got cold again and the cold food got warmer. Every bite was better than the last, because I knew it was made by his hands with love—for me. He hasn’t said those three little words yet, but his deeds have proven it to me time and again.

  Over dinner, we talk nonstop, catching up on every insignificant detail of the last three years
we can possibly think of. We intentionally avoid discussing any kind of romantic relationships that may have occurred while we were split up. As Ross so eloquently said, “We were on a break!” The truth is, it doesn’t matter if either of us sought comfort from someone else—we’re human, we’re alive, and we both had to keep moving forward. Our love and our relationship are just that—ours. If we focus our attention on anything else, we’ll be no better off than we were before.

  Neither of us wants that.

  For the first time, Roman and I are on the same page, and it feels better than I ever imagined it could.

  “You know, I saw some bathing suits in there while I was rummaging through the clothes to find that shirt. What do you say to a long, leisurely dip in the ocean from our private beach? I think we’ve earned that perk after the day we’ve had. I mean, we were kidnapped today. That’s very traumatic.”

  “I agree. We deserve a little fun in the surf. I’m sure I’ve read somewhere that it helps prevent PTSD after a traumatic event.”

  “You read that in one of those tabloid newspapers you love so much, didn’t you?”

  “Let it go, Roman. I told you they have the best crossword puzzles.”

  This feels so right—the joking, the sarcasm only he and I seem to get, the way we know each other inside and out.

  “Let’s go change into our suits. I would love to skinny-dip, but I’m positive that would end in our arrest.”

  “You’re absolutely correct. So will any public displays of affection out there, so don’t even think about ocean sex. They barely tolerate it when tourists hold hands in public, so we’re not testing them on anything else.”

  He huffs loudly, disgusted by my ocean sex refusal. I knew that was what he had planned. “Fine. But only because I know you’d be in a lot more trouble than I would.”

  “Whoever said chivalry is dead? We have living proof of it right here, ladies and gents.”