Crave the Heat

by Marnee Blake

  All day she could only think about Dak. Which was counterproductive, because she’d broken up with him because she shouldn’t be thinking about him.

  As she walked to her car, she second-guessed her decision as she had hundreds of times all day. The more she learned about the Parrish family, the more she could see how complicated things would become for him. Parrish had done everything that he could to keep his wife’s behavior under wraps. He’d even gone so far as to alienate his own son. Some might see that as romantic. But after listening to a day’s worth of stories from relatives and friends, she was left with sadness.

  It only took her five minutes to get home, but by the time she arrived she was exhausted. The day’s investigation had drained her, and again she was missing data. Maybe she had cut ties with Dak unnecessarily. But he’d let her down. She’d already been let down before, but was she allowing that experience to affect what was happening now?

  Why was this all so complicated?

  If the roles were reversed, would she have been able to voice suspicions about her mother? Would she have been able to go into detail about how messed up her father was? Even hashing out the details of a long-forgotten fight with his brother? No one wanted to relive things like that.

  So much of what was going on was out of Dak’s control. He hadn’t been the one to start fires or keep the secrets in his family. He’d tried his best to get help.

  He had told her what he could. The same as Jeff. In DC, Jeff had a job to do. She understood back then that in his undercover work he would keep secrets, but when it came time for her to be understanding in practice, she hadn’t been able to. She’s been in so much pain, both mentally and physically. And he had been so guilty. He’d held himself responsible, regretting leaving her on the sidewalk, but she hadn’t been able to find her forgiveness and had been dealing with her own remorse. She had been too busy hiding.

  Is that what she was doing now? Hiding?

  As she pulled into the parking spot in front of the building, she decided to call him. It was late, now, nearly ten-thirty. She’d call in the morning. Today, she could’ve used his perspective. Maybe it was time to let go of being afraid.

  After snagging her keys from the ignition, she grabbed her bag off the passenger seat, got out, and locked the doors. She rubbed her temple, her head hung low in her shoulders.

  What a day.

  “Stop right there.”

  The voice from the shadows startled her, making her drop her keys. She squinted, searching for the owner only to find the business end of a gun pointed in her direction. Her heart picked up, blood pounding in her ears.

  “We’re going to walk around the back of the building, and you’re going to stay quiet. If you do that, maybe no one has to be hurt.”

  Lifting her hands, Heidi made out the silhouette of a slight woman tucked behind the shrubbery, right out of view of the street light.

  “Who are you? What do you want?” She kept her voice steady, even as the gun sent waves of paralyzing heat along her spine. “I don’t want to hurt you. I just—” The hand holding the pistol shook.

  Heidi squeezed her eyes closed, her breath hitching.

  “I need to get through to my family. I need them to understand.”

  “Oh God.” Heidi’s eyes widened as the woman in the shadow clarified. The situation became bleaker.

  “Mrs. Parrish? Is that you?”

  She didn’t get an answer, only a quick view of a bat as it descended.

  Then she fell into darkness.

  * * * *

  Once again, Dak was reminded why he needed a good night’s sleep. After spending the evening and late into the night searching for his mother, he’d fallen into bed well after midnight.

  The next morning, he struggled to focus as he was reading through new safety literature Mitch had tossed at him. Apparently, this was Mitch’s idea of probation, drowning him in paperwork and making him read back packets of safety and procedural manuals.

  Punishment by boredom.

  Yesterday afternoon, Special Agent Barnes from the Forest Services had asked to speak to him.

  “I didn’t find anything here that you did anything wrong.” The Internal Affairs officer had placed his paperwork on the table.

  Dak had exhaled a sigh of relief.

  “I don’t think you were forthcoming with the information you had, and you certainly weren’t proactive, but I don’t see anything that should keep you off the jump list any longer.” He glanced at Mitch. “I am recommending some sort of probationary period, though. But, other than that, Mr. Parrish can return to service.”

  Probationary period was what had him sitting there, sipping coffee, and rifling through manuals while drowning in his regrets.

  After their conversation at the police department yesterday, Dak hadn’t heard from Heidi. Not that he’d expected to. Even as he’d stared at his phone while riding with others in the search team, he’d understood her decision to cut things off with him. But, God, he missed her, like a physical ache.

  These were all issues of his own making. When his father showed up, he should have told him to go fuck himself. Even if he hadn’t been prepared to do that, he should have questioned his father’s motives. He should have known there was more to it. Why else would he want to involve him? The man hadn’t contacted him for months, knowing that Dak wanted to talk to him, to see his mother.

  Maybe he didn’t want Dak to see his mother because then he might have suspected something was wrong.

  He should have delved deeper.

  Now, he rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t been able to get comfortable last night, worrying about his mother and plotting different ways he might be able to make up to Heidi. Still, there was no word on where his mother had gone. Heidi and Hernandez were casting a larger net, but so far, no one had seen or heard from her. After his shift today, he planned to meet his brother, go out again.

  “You look like shit.” Crossing his arms, Lance propped his hip against the table where Dak had sprawled all his manuals. “Mitch’s probation didn’t include sleep deprivation. You need to take care of yourself.”

  Dak leaned back, stretching his shoulders and scratching his head. “Any news on my mother?”

  “I might have just overheard Mitch in his office talking to Special Agent Barnes. At least I think it was Barnes on the phone. Said they have helicopters out searching for her.”

  Dak supposed that made sense, considering she was wanted for a string of arsons and a car bombing. The whole situation was so surreal. He closed his eyes, shaking his head. “And my father?”

  “Good news on that front. Apparently, Lyle Parrish can be quite helpful, at least when he’s threatened with jail time.” The FBI hadn’t been kind to his dad. For his part, his father figured out pretty quickly that he couldn’t talk or buy his way out of trouble with the Feds. Once he figured that out, he became much more helpful. Dak buried his hands in his hair.

  “You sure you’re okay to be here today?” Lance leaned down, studying him. Dak smiled at his friend.

  “I don’t know where I should be right now. Things with my family are so screwed up. I don’t think driving around looking for my mother is really helpful. I called any relative she might contact. And I messed everything up with Heidi.”

  “I’m sure you didn’t—”

  “She broke up with me,” Dak offered, glancing up at his friend with a wry smile. “I told her I was falling for her and she broke up with me.”

  “Harsh.” Lance’s eyes were sympathetic. “Things have been hard for her. Just give her some time.”

  “I don’t know if time is going to help. I have no idea how to fix any of that. I can’t sleep and sitting in my apartment feeling bad for myself isn’t going to help anything. At least here I can be some good to someone.”

  Lance nodded. He clasped Dak’s sh
oulder, squeezing. His look of understanding tightened Dak’s throat. Sometimes he didn’t know if he deserved Lance Roberts. They’d known each other for years, and all that time Dak had kept himself. At least he tried to. Lance didn’t take no for an answer, though. For some reason, he had decided to be Dak’s friend. Whatever he had seen in him, Dak would be forever thankful for that decision.

  And what had Lance gotten in return? A whole lot of sketchy half truths about himself because he had been too chicken shit to come clean, to be a real friend to the guy.

  Lance Roberts was another person he resolved to work harder to deserve.

  “Thank you. For everything.” He wasn’t good at these kinds of conversations, but maybe he needed to try harder. Wasn’t that part of why he was where he was? Holding himself away from everyone hadn’t helped him. Maybe it was time to put himself out there, take chances on people. He couldn’t spend the rest of his life expecting everyone to let him down or being afraid that they might not accept him.

  Until now, he thought he was being strong or something. Now he could see he was scared.

  Lance’s eyebrows furrowed, and he cocked his head. “No problem.”

  “No, seriously. Thank you for not giving up on me. I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes.”

  “Line forms behind me.”

  Dak laughed, patting Lance’s hand. Leave it to Lance to keep things from getting awkward.

  The fire bell screeched.

  Dak pushed back from the table, and whatever lighthearted moment had been happening between him and Lance evaporated. His friend’s mouth thinned, and his face took on the determined look it always did when they were faced with a jump. Together they raced into their locker spaces and started preparing.

  Dak gathered his gear quickly, and in record time he was stepping into the tan jumpsuit that was the staple of the smokejumpers uniform. After zipping it up, he adjusted the high collar before checking and adjusting the contents of all the pockets. Then he stepped into his boots and grabbed the caged helmet he wore for jumping. A few more minutes and he and his fellow smokejumpers were hurrying out onto the tarmac where the airplane was already idling.

  As they circled up, Tim, the veteran smokejumper who would be serving as spotter on this jump, ran through the details. “This one’s in Willamette. It’s in the mountains, which is why we got the call. Conditions aren’t too dangerous today, so hopefully this one won’t be too bad. Be cautious, though. No lightning in the area.” With those words, Tim looked directly at Dak.

  Three things occurred to him at once.

  First, no lightning meant this fire was probably caused by a human.

  Second, Willamette National Forest was close to Bend, the last place his mother had been seen.

  Third, Tim, and maybe all of the management at the air center, was worried that he was going to break, be a liability. Yet they were putting their faith in him. Like a real family.

  He wasn’t going to let them down. Not ever again.

  He needed this. This was exactly the reason he got into firefighting in the first place, because his family had done enough damage. From here on he was only part of the solution, not part of the problem.

  Nodding, he held Tim’s gaze. Whatever the spotter saw on his face must’ve convinced him that he was solid.

  Tim waved toward the plane. “Let’s get this.”

  Chapter 17

  It must be close to dawn, because the side of the tent Heidi was currently trapped in had started to filter light through the flaps. As the sun hit the nylon, the small space heated and her muscles relaxed.

  She had been gone all night, but there was no way to know if anyone was aware she was missing.

  After Melinda Parrish knocked her out, she’d woken up later bound and gagged. When she realized she was in the back of a car, she had struggled. But with her hands and feet tied there wasn’t much she could do.

  When they stopped later, it was still dark. The older woman dragged her out of the backseat of her car. Heidi didn’t know what she did for exercise, but she managed to get her onto the back of an ATV. Heidi had tried to break free at first, but when Mrs. Parrish had showed her a baseball bat, she had given that up. Getting a beat down wasn’t going to help the situation.

  The glint in Mrs. Parrish’s eye said she meant business, and Heidi highly preferred to be awake over unconscious.

  On the ATV, they followed the road winding through the woods. Truthfully, Heidi had no idea how long they drove. It felt like forever, though, thanks to the nausea that consumed her as soon as they started. She probably had a concussion from being hit on the head with a bat. It got so bad that she started to gag.

  When that happened, Melinda just pulled to the side, undid the gag and let her throw up next to the ATV. Maybe she had a moment of remorse, because she didn’t replace the gag before they started off again. Not that Heidi could’ve talked to her over the rumble of the ATV. Besides, it took all she had in her not to throw up again.

  Finally, they stopped. Heidi watched as Melinda set up a tent, her movements sure and expert. This was a woman who’d definitely camped before. When she was done, she spoke. Heidi almost thought she had forgotten she was there.

  “I’ll just remind you that if you run, we’re miles and miles from civilization. You’ll get lost and starve to death. That’s an unfortunate way to go. Do you understand?”

  “Oh, I understand. You’ve lost your mind.”

  The night had been bright, not a cloud in the sky, so Melinda’s sad smile was clear in the moonlight. “Not recently. But at some point, years ago, yes. I suppose I did.”

  Heidi considered lashing out. If she kicked her hard enough, in the right spot, she might have been able to get away. But Melinda was right. Where would she go? Without the ATV, she’d be on foot and her hands were still tied. If she couldn’t get the keys to the ATV, she couldn’t drive it. Even if she could get the keys, her hands were still bound. She’d be no better off. It would be better to wait, see if she could talk her way out of this or appeal to Melinda’s sympathy.

  She allowed her to lead her into the tent where she sat down on a sleeping bag and waited. And waited.

  At one point, the ATV engine started again and disappeared.

  She’d left her there.

  Panic had exploded inside her. Had this been the entire plan? Drive her out there and leave her for dead? What was the point of putting up a tent for her, then, if she was only planning to let her starve to death?

  She was coming back, but Heidi didn’t know when, or what her motives were for kidnapping her in the first place.

  Her hands still tied, Heidi struggled to her feet. Where was she? Did anybody know she was gone? In a couple of hours, she wouldn’t show up for work. Hernandez would try to call her, wouldn’t get her, and she would wonder where she was. They were in the middle of an investigation, after all. How long before anybody realized that she might be in trouble?

  Her mind strayed to Dak. His mother had said she was trying to get her family’s attention. Was he in trouble too? Her fear exploded. Would his mother actually hurt him?

  As the light continued to get brighter, her stomach growled, and she spent the long moments regretting not reaching out to Dak. Why had she waited?

  Would she get a chance again to make things right with him? To apologize?

  She didn’t know, but as the time passed, her mouth dried.

  Melinda had to have left something to drink there somewhere, didn’t she? No way she’d come out into the woods, built a camp, and left nothing to eat or drink.

  In the clearing, though, her options appeared bleak. There wasn’t much there except the tent and a duffel nearby. She scurried over, unzipping awkwardly. There was rope and a bottle opener, but no food or water. Sifting, she found a hat and boots, but nothing that was going to help her get untied or stop her fro
m dying from dehydration if the days stretched out. Dak’s mom hadn’t yet returned, and she had no idea if she would. One thing she knew for certain: she could only depend on herself if she was going to get out of this alive.

  Thankfully, she had the tent. Yesterday had been a disaster, so she hadn’t checked the weather. If there was cold weather coming tonight, she’d need the cover. She searched the inside.

  Nothing except the sleeping bag and the pillow.

  Rocking back on her knees, she attempted to see the situation as an investigator, not as the panicked captive she was. Inhaling a few steadying breaths, she went over the facts.

  She had no food or water. The sleeping bag and pillow suggested that Mrs. Parrish intended for her to spend time sleeping there. Or, she figured it would keep her warm enough since Heidi wasn’t dressed for cold weather. As today was going to be warm, that meant that she was probably planning to leave her there through the night. Flipping the tag on the bag, she saw it was rated for weather up to ten degrees below zero. That was something, at least. She wouldn’t freeze to death before she starved.

  Closing her eyes, she breathed through her nose, doing her best to calm herself. If she was going to get out of this, she was going to need to think. She couldn’t do that if she was in a panic.

  Mentally reviewing her supplies, she disregarded all of it. Nothing there would help her get off the mountain or signal to anyone who could help her.

  Running through the ways to get in touch with a rescuer, she tried to focus.

  A fire. That’s what she needed, fire. It could keep her warm, because if she wasn’t mistaken the sun would go down in a couple hours. And maybe, just maybe, someone would see it.

  Dak was probably looking for her. What better way to get the attention of a firefighter than a fire.

  In theory, she knew how to start a fire without matches or lighter. She needed a spark. She could find a rock, except doing anything would be difficult with her hand still tied.

  Getting her hands untied was the first step. Then she would find a way to start the fire.