by Kaylee Ryan
“Kent.”
“Yeah, baby?” He pulls back, and his red-rimmed eyes find mine.
“Have you said that to me before? That you missed me?”
“Of course I have. I always missed you when you went back to school.”
“I-I remember us lying in a bed and you saying that to me.”
He smiles. “Every damn time. Every time you came home, I told you that. You remember?”
“It’s more of a flash, a snippet in time, but I remember, or at least I think I do. It’s too much like déjà vu for it not to be real.”
“It’s real.”
I smile. It’s such a small thing, but it gives me hope that I’ll remember it all one day. I want our time together. “How long do I have to stay?”
“Knock, knock,” a male voice says, entering the room. “I’m Dr. Whitman. You took a nasty tumble,” he tells me.
“Ice-covered stairs.”
He chuckles. “You’re not the first and certainly won’t be the last.” He goes on to tell me about my bruised hip and sprained wrist. “You need to take it easy for a few days and let your body heal. I’ll send the nurse in with discharge papers.”
“Dr. Whitman, I was in an accident and lost my memory from a small period of time. Could this fall, could that make my memories come back?”
He smiles sadly. “No. However, that doesn’t mean they won’t. The brain can be confusing, but often we find those memories are blocked due to trauma or some other contributing factor. It’s a coping mechanism.”
“What if someone told you lies about that time in your life? All of my memories are back except for the timeframe I was lied to.”
He nods. “It’s possible.”
“I remembered something today, just before you came into the room. So, it’s not correlated to the accident?”
“I’m sorry, but no. However, whatever you’re doing to trigger those memories, keep it up. Are they good memories?”
I glance over at Kent. “The best.”
“Good, then I would encourage you to stay on the course and don’t try so hard. One day you might just wake up and remember it all. There is also the chance that you will never get those memories back. Like I said, the brain can be confusing.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
“Sure. Anymore questions?”
“No.”
“All right, I’ll send the nurse in and we’ll get you out of here.”
Before the door is completely closed, Kent is leaning over me in the hospital bed. “I love you.”
I want to tell him I love him too, but I can’t. I feel this deep connection to him, but I can’t seem to let myself give in to it. I wish I could remember our past so we could so easily move into our future.
“Can we go get Kendrix when we get out of here?”
“It’s late, babe. Let’s call and see if she’s sleeping. If so, we’ll get her first thing in the morning. I promise.”
“Okay.”
He pulls out his phone and dials his mom, putting the call on speaker so I can hear her.
“How is she?” is her greeting.
“She’s going to be just fine. How’s my princess?” he asks.
“Asleep in the fort. Poor thing was tuckered out. Even with her nap. We were waiting on your call before we went to bed ourselves.”
“Laney is going to be fine. Thank you for watching her. I’ll be by to get her in the morning.”
“Why don’t we bring her to you? I’ll bring breakfast.”
“You don’t have a car seat.”
“We do, actually. Ridge brought us one of theirs just in case we needed to leave.”
I watch as he swallows. “Okay.” He clears his throat. “That works for us. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Take care of Delaney. We’ve got Little Miss taken care of.”
“Thanks, Mom, love you.”
“Love you too. Give Delaney our best.”
“Will do.” He ends the call and slides the phone back in his pocket. “All is good.”
“Your friends and family, they’re amazing.”
“Yes, they are.”
“You can’t leave that. The support that they give you is… it’s unheard of. You can’t leave that. You can’t leave them.”
“What I can’t do is live hundreds of miles away from you. That’s what I can’t do.”
“You won’t have to.”
“No?”
I shake my head. “We’re staying here. I can work anywhere, and I don’t want her to miss out on this. All the family and friends. We don’t have this back in California.”
“What about your mom?”
“She has some big changes to make if she wants to be in our lives. I won’t tolerate her outburst today, and never in front of Kendrix. You’re in our lives to stay.”
“Yeah?” He grins.
“As just the father of your child?”
“No. You’re more than that. I need some time to work it all out in my head. I’m scared, but I know you’re more than just her father. You mean something to me.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Laney. You take all the time that you need.”
Chapter 20
Kent
I wake to the sun streaming through the blinds, and I shut my eyes to ward off the rays. Rolling over, I smile when I see Delaney sleeping peacefully. Her body is sore from the fall. No matter how many times she begged me to hold her last night, I was afraid I would hurt her. I settled for lying next to her, my head resting on her chest. Her hands stroking my hair. Neither of us said much, and that’s okay. She’s here, she’s healthy, and she’s not leaving. That’s what matters.
I watch her as time passes us by. Mom texted me last night and told me to send her a message when we were up and moving today. She didn’t want to keep Delaney from resting. So I’m not worried about visitors, at least not this early. When her eyes flutter open and those baby blues land on me, she smiles. Her smile lights up my entire fucking world.
“Morning, beautiful.”
“Good morning.”
“How you feeling?”
“Stiff.”
“Let me get you some medicine.” Tossing the covers off, I head to the kitchen to get her a glass of water and some over-the-counter pain reliever. I rush back to the bedroom, help her sit up, at which she rolls those baby blues, and then hand her the water and pain reliever.
“I’m not broken, Kent.”
“I know you’re not broken, but I’m here so I can help you. It won’t be that way tomorrow when I go back to work.”
“Kendrix will be here. She likes to help.”
“She’s going to love that.”
She chuckles. “Yes, she is.” She hands me the glass and I set it on the nightstand. “What time is it?”
“Just after seven.”
“What time are they coming?”
“I told Mom I would text her.”
“I should get up and get moving so they can come over.”
“There’s no rush.”
“I don’t want your parents to have to watch her again today.”
“Delaney.” I reach out and cradle her face in the palm of my hand. “Baby, it’s fine. I promise. They would keep her forever if we let them. She’s not a burden to them. I can guarantee you they’re enjoying their time with her as much as she is with them. They’ve been waiting for me to settle down and give them grandkids. She’s being spoiled rotten. That you can count on.”
“I know they’re taking good care of her, but I don’t want to use them like that.”
“Like what? Like two loving grandparents who are enjoying the hell out of getting to know their only granddaughter. Trust me, they want us to use them. Just wait and see. They’ll be calling and asking to keep her all the time.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Why are you so surprised?”
“That’s not what I’m used to. My mother would complain if I asked her to watch Kendrix for me. Didn’
t matter that it was usually for school or for work. She would complain. My dad, on the other hand, if he was home, he was glad to watch her, but he never did fun things like build a fort in the living room with her. It’s just… different and amazing. I don’t want her to lose that.”
“She won’t lose it. They’re her family.”
She nods. “So are we staying in bed or are we getting ready?”
“I’d love to choose option number one, but I can see in your eyes that you need a hug from our little girl.”
“I miss her.”
“Come on then. Up you go.” I stand to help her from the bed. I walk her to the shower, turning on the hot spray, and then help her remove her clothes. There’s no messing around, just a few kisses as she lets me wash her body. No way am I going to risk hurting her. I know she’s just bruised, but she’s still hurt, and I won’t risk that. Not with her.
Once we’re out of the shower and I get Delaney propped up on the couch—though not without her complaints that she’s fine—I call my parents. “They’re on their way,” I tell her. “Mom made a casserole or something so it’s ready to eat.”
“They didn’t have to make breakfast.”
I shrug. “That’s just Mom. That’s what she does. I’m going to call Ridge and thank him for the car seat.” I tap his contact in my phone, and on the fourth ring, he finally answers.
“Hello.”
“Knox?”
“Yep. Do you want my daddy?”
“I do, is he there?”
“Yep. My mommy is froing up so I’m watching my sister.”
“Ah, okay. Well, tell your daddy that Uncle Kent called.”
“Okay. Love you,” he says, and the call ends.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Knox answered and said his mom is throwing up. My guess is morning sickness.”
“I remember those days.”
“Were you sick a lot while you were pregnant?”
“Not too bad, but there was a small stretch of about four weeks that it was pretty terrible. I’m not sure why they call it morning sickness when it’s morning, noon, and night.” She goes on to tell me about how she craved strawberry ice cream, and how hard it was to be having a baby by a man she couldn’t remember.
“I’m going to be there for the next one.”
“How do you think my husband will feel about that?” There is a sparkle in her eye that tells me she’s kidding, but that’s not a joking matter.
“I will feel damn proud to have created another tiny human with you.”
She opens her mouth to reply but quickly closes it when there’s a knock at the door. Leaning in, I kiss her quickly before going to the door. As soon as I pull the door open, Kendrix grins. “Daddy!” she cheers and leaps from my dad’s arms to mine.
“Looks like Daddy’s not the only one who carries you around,” I say, stepping back to let them in.
“Papaw carries me,” she answers.
“I can see that. Did you have fun?”
Her little head bobs up and down. “I played a whole bunch.”
“Let’s go see Mommy, and you can tell us all about it.” I carry her into the living room and, with her on my lap, we sit next to Delaney on the couch and listen to her tell us how much fun she had at my parents’.
“Are you all ready to eat?” Mom asks.
“Let’s go fill our bellies,” I tell my daughter. She hops off my lap and rushes into the kitchen on my mom’s heels.
“She’s so happy,” Delaney states the obvious.
I know this is hard for her. “She is.” I stand and offer her my hand. “Let’s go eat.” I help her from the couch and to the kitchen table, ordering her to sit while I make her a plate. However, my mom is there, placing a plate in front of her.
“What would you like to drink? We have orange juice, water, milk, and I just put on a pot of coffee.” Mom’s eyes are kind as they settle on Delaney. Is that sadness I see? Worry? I can’t describe the look she’s giving her. I make a mental note to talk to her later.
“Orange juice, please, but I can get it,” Delaney answers.
She tries to stand, but my mother holds up her hand to stop her. “No. You sit. You need your rest. Let me get it.”
“Thank you, Georgia.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” Mom says, placing a glass of orange juice on the table in front of her.
Plates are emptied, and more drinks are poured as we sit around the table and talk. Kendrix carries most of the conversation. She’s not leaving a single detail unturned as she tells us about her time at my parents’ house.
Sitting back in my chair, I take it all in. My parents, my girls, all of us together. My family. I will forever mourn the time that I missed with them, but looking toward our future, this is what it’s about. Moments in time when we’re all together. She’s staying. I don’t have to worry about leaving the people I care about the most. I hate that my girls never had this—a strong support system, but they do now. I can’t wait to see how our future unfolds.
“I need to call Mr. Garcia in the morning. With everything that happened yesterday, I didn’t get to find out why he needed to talk to me,” Delaney says as we’re lying in bed Sunday night.
We finally got Kendrix to sleep in her room after three stories. I have no doubt she’s going to end up in bed with us before the night is over. I need to get to work on setting her room up so she’s more enticed to sleep there. She’s never going to get any siblings if she keeps sleeping between us.
“He gave me something to give to you. I forgot about it until now. Hold on.” Climbing out of bed, I make my way to the living room and grab the envelope from my coat pocket. I peek in on Kendrix, who is still sleeping soundly before heading back to our bedroom. “Here.”
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. He just told me to give it to you when you were up to it. He stopped by the hospital to check on you and handed it to me. I forgot about it until now.”
She sits up in bed, resting her back against the headboard, and takes the envelope from my hands. I sit next to her on the edge of the bed, my hand on her thigh as I give her silent support. I can only assume that the letter is going to be from her father. Carefully, she opens the envelope and pulls out a folded sheet of paper and begins to read it out loud.
Delaney,
My darling daughter. I have too much to tell you, and yet as I sit here, I struggle to find the words. I have advised my attorney to not give you this letter until you’d had time to experience Jackson and the people who live here. Jackson holds a special place in my heart and always will. I don’t know how I knew, but I had a feeling that I would need to insist on you visiting before selling, and I hope with all of my heart that you’ve found the missing piece of your past.
I don’t really know how else to start other than to rip the Band-Aid off, so to speak. Here goes. If you’re reading this, that means I’ve gone from this earth, resting with your grandparents and my love… your mother. There I said it. Tillie Nottingham is not your mother. I’m sorry that you are finding out like this, but I couldn’t ever seem to find the courage to tell you in person. I didn’t want to see the hurt or the disappointment in your eyes. Please don’t hate me.
I’m sure you have many questions, and I’ll do my best to clear them up for you now. Tillie and I were dating in college when she told me she was pregnant. I wasn’t in love with her, but I wanted to do the right thing, Nottinghams always do the right thing. So I married her. Two months later, I was faced with the realization that she faked her pregnancy. The ink had long been signed on our marriage license, and I was at a loss. I was angry and hurt. In addition to that, I was young, but I wanted to be a father. I had grown fond of the idea and was crushed to find out the baby I had grown to love didn’t exist.
I needed time away, so I came home to Jackson, Tennessee, to spend some time with my parents. It was there I met and fell in love with your mother—all in the span of two week
s’ time. As I sit here writing this letter almost twenty-five years later, my heart still aches for her. She was and will forever be the love of my life.
I’m sure you’re wondering what happened to her? I’ll get to that, but first I need to tell you that I loved her. She was my heart and soul, and she loved you. She was so happy to be a mother. She talked about not being able to wait to hold you in her arms. You were her greatest accomplishment in life.
We had two incredible weeks together before I had to go back to my real life. Only what was once my real life was now fake. Nothing felt right, and my heart, it missed her. Two months went by, and your mother called to tell me about you. I immediately told Tillie that I wanted a divorce. I told her about your mother, Amber, and about you. She went crazy. She threatened to kill herself, and even tried to do so. I didn’t know what to do. I was stuck, and your mother, she told me to get her through it. That we had a lifetime to be together. I wasn’t sure it was the right choice, but that’s what I did. I stayed. I took Tillie to see her therapist and went to counseling with her. All the while, admitting openly to her and her physicians that I didn’t love her, that I would never forgive her, and that I wanted a divorce.
Fast forward a few months, and I get the call that your mother was in labor. I was going to be a father. I was three hours away and told her I would be there as soon as I could. Stubborn as she was, she thought she could drive herself to the hospital. Her best friend was out of town, and she had no one. My parents, your grandparents were in Florida for the winter, and her parents, well, she never had a good relationship with them. So she said she’s fine. She’d call me when she got there.
Two hours later, I was on the road, driving way past the speed limit to get to her. To get to you when my phone rang. Her best friend, Georgia, was on the other end crying hysterically. She was her emergency contact. There’d been an accident. She didn’t have to tell me for me to know that it was bad. I could hear it in the tone of her voice, and I could feel it in my gut.
By the time I made it to the hospital, I was too late. Her injuries were too bad. She didn’t make it, but they were able to save my daughter. You, Delaney. They were able to save you.