Saints and Sinners: The Complete Series

by Eden Butler

  “She’d have me occupied for a four-hour test photoshoot just to see what happened? Or because she needed me gone so she could leave?’

  “Kai…I don’t…know.” Cat sat back, her foot stilling as she curled her fingers around the armrest. “You…know about her and…her college boyfriend…” She shook her head, her mouth moving down into a frown. Of course, Kai knew. He’d known forever. But Gia had never named him. She’d never said much about him, and Kai hadn’t wanted to dig. He hadn’t wanted to spoil anything between. He nodded, answering Cat’s silent question. “Then you know why she’s so…distant sometimes. Why she pushes people away.”

  Kai dropped his shoulders against the back of the chair, covering his face with his hands before he stared up at the ceiling. “It was like twenty damn years ago.” Cat’s frowned deepened and Kai hurried to explain himself. “And I’m here and whole and not a fucking ghost.”

  “You know that’s not the only reason.” Cat rested her elbows on her knees, shifting her gaze around the room before she spoke. “She could lose everything if anyone finds out.”

  “No one is better at her job than her.” He tilted his chin down, his quiet tone matching Cat’s. “No one is better than me at mine. They wouldn’t toss either one of us.”

  “You can’t guarantee that and until you can, Gia is going to run. No matter how she feels, she’s going to run.”

  Kai knew the truth when he heard it. Cat wasn’t wrong. She knew why Gia did the things she did. She got her better than almost anyone. But that didn’t mean Kai was going to accept things for how they were and be done with it. Kai was every bit as much a fighter as Gia was a runner. Now he wanted to fight for her.

  “You…owe me now,” he told her, keeping his mouth hard and his eyes narrowed as he looked her over. “I’m calling it in.”

  “I gave you info. That should suffice…”

  Kai reached into his pocket, grabbing his cell. He slid his thumb across the surface and pulled up Kenya’s number, holding his finger over the call button as he watched Cat. “I can easily call him back and tell him you like daisies. Inside an hour you’ll be sneezing your head off from the amount of white daisies that fool can find.” When she didn’t respond, when Cat just moved her head like she hated him, just a bit for the blackmail, Kai lifted his hands, a small surrender he hoped she understood. “I just want to talk to her.”

  Cat moved her bottom mouth, wetting her lips as she watched him. Kai couldn’t breathe right, didn’t quite know how long he could stand waiting on her to answer. “Fine then,” Cat finally said, ignoring the quick exhale Kai released. “It’s a house on Esplanade. She…she upgraded. I told her it’s way too big for her, but she said her folks would come to visit since she missed her trip to New York your…for…when your…well.” Cat waved her hand, cutting herself off, but Kai understood her meaning. Gia had postponed her trip to see her family to take care of him when Keeana died. “I’ll write down the address.”

  Kai rubbed the bridge of his nose, blowing out a long breath before he grabbed Cat’s hand and kissed it. “Thank you. Sincerely. Thank you so much.”

  “Don’t thank me, Kai,” she said, pulling her hand away. “Just make sure Gia knows you aren’t going to stop chasing her when she runs.”

  THE DARKNESS SEEMED to bring out the foot traffic and the bumper to bumper crowd right outside of Gia’s new place. It was as close to a mansion as the French Quarter in New Orleans got—an white Victorian with a second story balcony, wrought iron railings, gas lanterns and thick dental molding covering every inch of the doors and windows on the exterior. If Kai knew anything about New Orleans real estate—and he’d been to enough parties with Wilson and Perez to say he did—he’d bet this was one of those places with a huge courtyard in back and a nice pool, space for a small garden; perfect for parties and entertaining and likely higher priced than what she probably paid for her apartment. But, from where he sat, there wasn’t as much security, a fact that had Kai watching the sidewalk and the surrounding pavement as he sat right outside of Gia’s door, his big frame filling up most of the steps.

  He’d wait all night if he had to and, God help him, he thought he had to.

  Two half-drunk girls, both carrying nearly empty Hurricane cups, made their way down the sidewalk, arm in arm, slowing as they neared Kai. “Hey, sugar, you look lonely sitting up there by yourself.” The younger-looking of the two laughed at her drunken flirting while her companion tried and failed to drag her away.

  “I’m good, thanks,” he told her motioning for them to move along.

  “You sure because a hot man like you shouldn’t be…”

  “Come on, Lily. My God.” Her friend pushed her in the arm, before she held up her hand to Kai. “I’m sorry, Mr. Pukui. She’s not from around here and her city doesn’t have a pro team. They…just don’t know any better…”

  “It’s okay,” he told them, head shaking as the two girls hurried down the sidewalk. “Be safe.”

  If Kai hadn’t been watching them, waiting, he guessed for the women to navigate the intersection and wait at the bus stop for their ride, he might not have seen Gia coming toward him. She didn’t notice him. Gia seemed more concerned with tugging the bag higher up on her shoulder and the two cars blowing their horns at each other than to pay attention to where she walked—something else that pissed him off.

  But when she turned back toward the sidewalk, digging her keys from her bag and glanced up, Gia slowed her steps, hesitating as she looked around the street, likely trying to spot anyone that might recognize her or Kai.

  He didn’t stand when she approached, not immediately and kept his elbows on his knees and his hand over his mouth as he watched her. Kai wanted to grab her, kick open her door and remind her what she’d been missing in her ridiculous exit from their building. For fuck’s sake, would the woman ever stop running?

  She was ten feet away when Kai finally stood, taking one step at a time, his hands in his pockets as he met her in front of the landing.

  Gia kept her expression impassive, her mouth in a line and her eyes guarded like she didn’t want him to get a read on what she thought. But Kai knew when she wanted him. He knew what would happen if he pushed her. It had been that way from the beginning—Gia wanted him to challenge her, to tempt her so she could rise to the traps he laid.

  But Kai wouldn’t do that now.

  “How did you find me?” she asked, sounding unsurprised that he’d been able to track her down. He shook his head, hoping she could see the disappointment he felt in the tension hardening his features. She looked over her shoulder when another car drove by, their horn wailing. “This isn’t smart. Being so exposed. Anyone could see us.”

  “I don’t care anymore,” he told her, finally stepping in front of her. If he wanted, Kai could reach out to her, pull her against his chest, hold her in place long enough to take her breath from her, steal every protest she made with his lips and mouth and tongue.

  But Kai wouldn’t do that now.

  Not yet.

  “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you…this isn’t going to work. Not as long as I’m your GM and you’re my player. I…care about you and Keola. You both…mean something to me and I can be your friend but…”

  “Gia,” he said, grabbing her face. “Shut up.” Then Kai kissed her, putting everything he felt about her into the brush of his lips over hers and the hold he made against her body. It wasn’t some sensual, sexual tease he made over her mouth. He hoped it lasted. He hoped it made her remember how it felt when he loved her.

  She pulled away first, fingers curled into his collar, her eyes still closed before she looked up at him. “I…don’t want…”

  He silenced her again with his fingers moving over her cheeks and his gaze sharp. “I love you.”She’d never been that still or that quiet. He’d never seen the fear and hope surface and vanish in her expression as he did then. Gia seemed to have so many questions, and too many thoughts and they all lan
ded in her mouth, coming out as insulting and stupid.

  “I…can’t help that.”

  If he wasn’t so wrapped up in her, Kai might have laughed or screamed or called her a bitch. When Gia cut, it was to the bone and he felt that sharp sting right then.

  “No,” he finally said, not ready to walk away, not strong enough to stay. “I guess you can’t, ku'uipo, but it’s there. It’s behind all the smoke and mirrors you use to keep yourself from feeling any worthy damn thing. It’s there. One day you’ll find it.” He leaned down, pressing one soft kiss to her mouth. “I just pray I’m still around when you do.”

  20.

  GIA

  LOVE DIDN’T CARE about your plans. It didn’t care that you had goals or standards or guidelines that you set for yourself. Love, Gia had been told by her mother, settled itself comfortably on you whenever it pleased. It comes without any fair warning. It comes when you aren’t ready, when you know in the deepest wells of your heart that there is nothing left to give anyone else. Then, faster than you can say, “no, not for me, thanks,” love elbows its way into those dark, vacant stores you swore could never be filled and languishes. It makes itself right at home.

  At least, that was her mother’s theory.

  Gia had refused to test it in twenty years. She’d come close, only twice, but had never figured there was room for love or enough of her heart left for the scavenger love would become when it decided to make its hasty exit.

  This was a conversation she’d had at length with Cat, mostly when they drank, usually when Reese managed to join them before the Minnesota game and the full-on confession she made about loving Ryder. They were officially out as a couple. The world knew and Gia forgot to be annoyed about their confessions when they made them, figuring if she could sleep with Kai and enjoy it, then her placekicker and QB could have the torch they hadn’t managed to extinguished in over a decade and carry it to their hearts’ content.

  But Cat? Of the three of them Gia would have never believed the woman capable of what she saw in her office one Thursday afternoon just before she and her assistant had decided to finish up their work and head to Lucy’s for dinner.

  “It’s five for one,” Gia reminded Cat, laughing when the woman grinned. “And Ansel is working.” Her assistant’s smile widened as she helped Gia pack away the files of players she’d been researching for Ricks. “He’s sweet on you.”

  “He’s sweet on anyone with an open tab,” Cat said, stacking the papers into their appropriate files, not looking at Gia as she spoke. “Fine as he is, Ansel is a little too pretty for me.”

  “Is that even possible? I mean is there a man…” The tall figure standing in the doorway had Gia shutting up, her heart racing as she wondered if Kai had finally given up his two week freeze out and decided to see her. But as Gia looked around Cat, leaning down to reach for the laptop bag on the floor, she had to push back her disappointment when it wasn’t Kai she spotted. “Mr. Wilson,” she greeted, her attention immediately shifting to Cat when she glanced at Gia, eyes first wide then rolling at the man’s name. He’d made such a nuisance of himself the past season. Cat had rarely gone a day without getting flowers or candies at the office. Then, just two weeks ago, all that stopped. Gia thought that would have made her assistant happy and she was, for a bit, but now…now Cat seemed off.

  “Miss J,” Wilson said, nodding to Gia, hand up, she guessed, in a small apology. “I don’t mean to mess up your day or interrupt…”

  “We’re…just finishing up,” she told him, glancing at Cat when she continued to pick up the papers and files. “Is there something I can do for you?”

  “Nah…I mean, no ma’am,” he corrected, stepping farther into the office. “I just got one thing…” When Cat went on ignoring him, keeping her back to Kenya, some of his calm seemed to leave him. “Cat…I just wanted to say…I’m sorry.”

  She held a file in her hand that she’d been thumbing through, but stopped, straightening her shoulders, manila folder held between her fingers like she couldn’t believe Wilson knew those words or how to speak them. She still didn’t look at him, but did move her chin, giving him a good view of her profile.

  “Thing is,” he continued, taking another step closer, “I’m not the kid you knew. I think that was the point you tried to tell me a whole lot over the past few months. I…uh…I act wild sometimes and do things that probably shame my mama, stuff my sisters would whoop my ass for if they knew about.” He rubbed the back of his neck, glancing down at the floor before he watched her again. “Things I’ve seen done to my sisters…things that had me putting my hands on assholes for doing them to them.”

  Wilson’s shoulders fell as though the weight of his confession had only just sunk in as he spoke it. “I got no excuses for you. I haven’t been…the man my family raised me to be. I haven’t been that kid you thought so much of and…I’m sorry about that.”

  Cat had told Gia all about her childhood crush when Kenya Wilson was the JV star in their neighborhood, and she was the awkward, nerdy cousin of his best friend. He’d been sweet. He’d been funny, but Cat hadn’t stayed a kid and Kenya hadn’t been the hero she’d worked him up to be in her head. Life did that, Cat had told Gia. It made the sweet bitter and turned dreams into dulled hopes.

  Kenya stood right behind Cat, not touching her, hands deep in his pockets, biting his bottom lip like there was a wish he made and was afraid speaking out loud would spoil it.

  “I hassled you when you didn’t ask for it. I did that because I was full of myself, but I realized, you don’t need a boy flashing his money like a player. You want a man who treats you like a lady.” He nodded, and Gia stepped away from them, suddenly finding the bookcase next to her window very interesting. She tried not to listen. She tried not to watch too closely in the window’s reflection when Cat looked over her shoulder, when she lifted her chin, as though waiting for whatever else Kenya had to say.

  “So, until I can show you that’s who I wanna be, I’m…stepping back. I’m gonna leave you be.”

  Cat stood straighter, moving the file in her hand onto the top of Gia’s desk, her expression shifting from surprise, to worry before she brushed her hair behind her ear. “And…what makes you think I want you to…just vanish?”

  Gia’s eyes were almost as wide as Kenya’s, but not quite. In the window’s reflection Gia spotted him controlling his expression, trying to push off the stretching smile and hold back the excited bob of his head, something Cat seemed to immediately catch before he stopped moving.

  “You…like me being around?” He reached for her hand, gaze shooting from her fingers to her face like he wasn’t sure what reaction that small touch would result in. “You’d be mad if I just…stopped?

  “Maybe.” Cat frowned when Kenya gripped her fingers, dropping pretenses completely by standing close enough to let him touch her waist. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but…I…kind of missed the flowers.” When Kenya laughed, Cat hurried to shake her head. “Not the amount, because, damn, that was stupid, but…knowing you were thinking about me…it was…”

  “Nice?” he said, pulling her flushed against him.

  “Well, yeah…”

  Not here, Gia thought, wishing she didn’t have to be a witness to this. Cat had been holding out on her. She hadn’t told her nearly enough in those drunken confessions, but then, Gia hadn’t exactly told her all there was to know about her and Kai.

  “Ahem,” she said, fiddling with her phone, taking her time to glance up from it and catch Cat’s reflection in the window. “You know, Cat,” Gia said, not looking away from her screen, “I’m exhausted. Let’s skip Lucy’s and catch up on Monday.”

  “Yeah?” she said, glancing away from Kenya long enough to blink, pushing down her skirt and placed the last file onto the neat stack in the center of Gia’s desk. “If you’re sure…”

  “Of course I am,” she said, turning to face them, holding her cell in the same hand she used to shoo them out of her o
ffice. “Have a good weekend, you two.” They were just to the door when Gia cleared her throat again, adopting that bitch frown she wore whenever her players were a little too smug. “And Wilson?” The man turned, his smile dropping when he caught her frown. “Jared Penn had twelve touchdowns on the ground last season and never fumbled.” He frowned, head tilting. Gia glanced at Cat, barely containing her grin. “My assistant is much prettier than that actress he dates. You have no excuses.”

  “No doubt, Miss J. Don’t worry.”

  Gia moved to her desk, grinning as Cat and Kenya disappeared behind the rush of her heels against the tile floor and the ding of the elevator. She wasn’t upset that her assistant was with someone now. She knew the woman would still maintain her professionalism. That was the difference between them—Cat had the luxury of dating any player she wanted. Hers wasn’t a position that held any real weight. Cat handled no contracts. She brokered no deals. The woman was smart, savvy. She kept the wrong people out of Gia’s hair, kept her on time for her meetings and on notice when chaos was starting. But she could go home at night and turn off her brain. She didn’t have to worry about maintaining her distance outside of this office.

  Gia did and she’d failed miserably at keeping herself free from the distraction Kai created.

  What was worse? She’d failed to keep him out of her head.

  He loved her. She’d repeated that thought a thousand times since he spoke those words to her two weeks before. Gia had committed his expression to her memory. She knew exactly how soft he’d kissed her, how measured his control was when those words came out of his mouth.

  They’d been like a curse, weaving inside her heart, twisting around all the dank, dark spaces left vacant and hollow for so long. And she knew she’d never be able to say them back. Not if she wanted to stay in this office. Not if she wanted her lineman to honor his contract.