Inside Traitors

by David Allen

  Luke had always been intrigued with Steve’s hair. He had never seen another boy with hair that long. He couldn’t wait to watch Steve get his hair cut. Luke frantically motioned to the barber chair. “Next,” cried Luke, as he repeatedly pointed at the chair.

  Steve was happy to oblige. He climbed into the chair and asked for the same cut as Mr. Jackson. Steve’s thick mop of hair took a little longer to remove. Almost ten minutes was required to finish the cut. In the end Steve was pretty much as hairless as Joe.

  The haircut made Steve look like a totally different person. His chiseled features, previously shrouded by his long hair, were now very apparent and prominent. Steve stared at the unfamiliar face that appeared before him in the mirror. He did not recognize himself. He liked the new look.

  Luke thought Steve’s haircut was wonderful. He and Joe laughed heartily through the entire procedure. When it was Luke’s turn to take the chair, he signed to Joe that he wanted the same hair cut as Steve. Several minutes later Luke’s haircut was complete. Now it was Steve and Joe who were laughing as Luke climbed down from the chair.

  Karen was a little less enthusiastic over the boy’s choice of hairstyles. She was mad at Joe for allowing it. She was also worried over how Steve’s Uncle Jack was going to react to Steve’s radical new hairstyle.

  “You should have checked with his Uncle first,” she kept repeating to Joe. “He is going to be mad. He may have wanted his hair to be long.”

  The fact was that Jack did not care at all. Steve’s hair could have been long, short, red, blue or green. It really did not matter to him. When Jack eventually saw the new haircut several days later, he was happy. Steve could now stop asking him to go to the barber.

  Luke and Steve piled into the kitchen. They raced each other to the laundry room to wash off their hands in the large tub sink. Karen was sitting the last of the lunch trimmings onto the table as the boys took their seats.

  “Today we are having grilled cheese sandwiches,” Karen announced to the boys.

  Steve looked over at Karen with a huge smile. “Grilled cheese sandwiches are my favorite, Mrs. Jackson.”

  Karen laughed at the remark. “Steve, every day you say that the lunch is your favorite. How can everything we have be your favorite?”

  “If you make it Mrs. Jackson, it’s my favorite,” responded Steve.

  Karen smiled and gave Steve a hug. He was a perfect fit in the Jackson household. Steve had found a mom, a dad and a brother. He found his family. With each passing day the links to his life next door seemed to weaken a bit more.

  Jack had found himself a new girlfriend. She started to spend some time at Jack’s place so Jack encouraged Steve to stay next door.

  Steve spent more and more nights sleeping over at the Jackson’s. Joe and Karen were very happy that Steve was spending so much time with Luke. They could see daily improvements and credited Steve for all of Luke’s progress.

  The sleepovers got to be such a regular occurrence that Karen and Joe bought bunk beds for Luke’s room. The boys would race to bed each night to gain the always-popular top bunk. Somehow, Luke won most of the races.

  Chapter 15 - Fitting In

  Summer vacation was coming to an end. The new school year was just around the corner for Steve Peterson. Steve wondered what it was going to be like to enter the seventh grade. He was excited by the prospect of entering junior high.

  Luke was enrolled into a private school for the deaf. He was not as excited as Steve. Luke was enjoying all the free time with his new friend. He was sad to learn that Steve would be going off to school for most of the time during the week. Luke started to sulk.

  A surprise awaited Steve on the Saturday before the start of the new school year. Karen and Joe wanted to thank him for all he did to help Luke. They both felt that all of Luke’s progress could be attributed to Steve.

  When Steve came out for breakfast, Karen informed him that Luke would be spending the morning with Joe. Steve would be spending the morning with Karen. “We will be going out for some back to school shopping!” exclaimed Karen.

  Steve was not too excited about the prospect of going shopping with Karen. He had heard Jack always speak negatively whenever he talked about shopping. Steve did not have any idea what to expect, but he knew it couldn’t be good.

  Right after breakfast, Karen and Steve headed off for their morning together. They stopped at the local mall. Karen always liked the Dillard’s department stores. That was where they started.

  “Let’s start over here Steve,” said Karen, as she directed Steve into the store. Karen pointed over to the boy’s section. “You can start by picking out any pair of pants you want Steve.”

  Steve surveyed the massive selection before him. “You mean I can get any pair of pants in the store?” Steve asked.

  “That’s right,” replied Karen. “You can pick out any pair of pants you want.”

  “Wow,” said Steve excitedly. He thought maybe this shopping thing wasn’t going to be too bad after all. It didn’t seem anything like what Jack talked about.

  Steve looked through rows of different style pants. He eventually selected a rather plain looking pair of khakis. Karen informed him that he could still look for another two pair of pants.

  “Pick out two more pair of pants?” he asked. “I can still get two more pair?”

  “Yes,” Karen said with a smile. She could see the excitement in Steve’s face.

  Steve grabbed two more pairs of the same pants from the rack.

  “No Steve, get something that looks different,” said Karen.

  “But I like these,” explained Steve.

  Karen tried to tell Steve about the concept of variety. Steve ended up getting two more pair of the same pants in slightly different colors.

  “How about a pair of jeans?” asked Karen.

  “Steve picked out a pair of stone washed Levis. “I like these,” he said as he held them up.

  “They are nice Steve. Go ahead and look for one more pair of jeans that you like.”

  Steve grabbed another pair of the same stone washed Levis.

  “I meant another style of jeans,” said Karen.

  “But I like these,” explained Steve. “Why would I get something else that I didn’t like as much?”

  Karen had no answer for Steve. The talk on variety didn’t take hold. Steve ended up getting the two pair of stone washed Levis.

  “How about shirts?” asked Karen. She picked several from a rack. “Do you like these?” she asked.

  “No,” responded Steve.

  “What is wrong with these shirts?”

  “I want a collar on the shirt,” said Steve. He sounded like he knew what he was talking about. “Those look too much like my old t-shirts.”

  Steve pulled some button-down shirts from another rack. “I think I like these a lot better.”

  “OK Steve, they are a nice choice. Take one of those. Now what other shirts do you like?”

  “I like these shirts,” he said pointing to the rack.

  “Do you remember what I said about variety?” asked Karen. She tried the explanation the concept one more time.

  Karen’s talk didn’t work any better this time around. Steve ended up selecting five of the same button-down shirts in five different colors.

  Karen and Steve headed back to the main walkway of the mall. Steve carried the purchases and a huge smile.

  “Now we need to get you a new pair of footwear,” said Karen.

  “Footwear?”

  “Yes, footwear. You know, sneakers.”

  Steve’s eyes lit up. “Sneakers,” he said enthusiastically. “You mean I can get real sneakers?”

  “Real sneakers,” responded Karen. “Any pair you want.”

  So far Steve liked the day of shopping. Everything was new to him. But the thought of getting a new pair of real sneakers was really getting him excited.

  Karen and Steve entered the Shoe outlet. Steve immediately headed to the main display
item. He picked the display pair of sneakers from the shelf. “I like these,” he announced. “These are just like the sneakers I saw the kids wear in school last year. I would like to get these.”

  Karen made the mistake of telling Steve that he did not have to buy the first pair he saw. “You can try on as many as you want before you make up your mind,” she said.

  Steve took the words literally. He tried on almost every pair of boy’s sneakers in the store. He eventually selected the initial pair that he remembered from the prior school year.

  Steve reviewed the reflection of his sporty new sneakers in the floor-mounted store mirror. His smile beamed, as he turned to Karen.

  “I am going to look just like the other kids now,” Steve told Karen. Then his voice dropped a bit. He put his hand to his mouth and whispered to her. “Now they won’t be able to make fun of me at school.”

  Steve barely slept the night before his first day back to school. The anticipation of the new school year was overwhelming. In his mind, the new school year was going to be much different than the years before. Now he would be just like the other kids. He would look like them and he would dress like them.

  When Steve did occasionally fall asleep, he dreamed of the brand new model of Steve Peterson at school in the seventh grade. He dreamed of his many new friends and he dreamed of being popular. He dreamed of being accepted by his classmates. Now school was going to be fun.

  Steve got up early and put on his brand new stonewashed Levis jeans and a light blue button down short sleeve shirt. The gleaming white sneakers were removed from their box for the first time since their purchase. Steve put them on and then admired himself in the mirror. His hopes were running high for the new year of school.

  The new junior high school was a short trip from the Jackson’s home. It was a little less than one mile from door to door. Joe offered to drive Steve to school and Steve jumped at the chance.

  “Thanks Mr. Jackson. That would be cool,” he beamed. “Can Luke come with us?”

  Steve was silent on most of the short drive to the school. He was busy thinking about what lay ahead. He was thinking about his new life. He was thinking about his new friends. The fantasy grew in his mind.

  Joe, Steve and Luke pulled up to the front entrance of the school. Joe looked over at Steve and could not believe he was the same person he met just a little over nine weeks prior.

  “Have a great time at school Steve,” Joe said.

  “Good luck,” yelled Luke from the back seat.

  “Thanks Mr. Jackson. And thanks for driving me to school,” said Steve. He picked up his new backpack, which was weighed down with supplies purchased by Karen. Steve turned and gave a high-five to Luke before opening the car door and hopping out.

  “You have fun Steve. And I want to hear about all of your new classes tonight,” said Joe with a wide grin.

  “OK Mr. Jackson. We will talk tonight,” Steve said. He signed “goodbye” to Luke.

  Steve closed the door and started to walk toward the school building. As he got closer to the building a knot started to form in his stomach. With each step, his excitement was being replaced by fear and apprehension. The fantasy in his mind was gone.

  Steve turned back to look to Mr. Jackson and Luke for support. He saw the car pulling away. A sense of dread started to fall over him as he slowly resumed the walk to the building.

  The fear began to get a hold and set in deeper. His heart started to race. A dense fog started to roll into his mind. His thoughts got cloudy. The other students around him became nothing but shadows that disappeared from his view. He uncertainly made his way into the building.

  Surrounded by all of his classmates, Steve was alone in his world. He was alone with his fears, alone with his doubts. He walked down the hall to his classroom in a haze. He was blind to the other students around him. He was deaf to the many voices that filled the air.

  Some of Steve’s classmates from the prior year were already in the classroom when Steve entered. None of them recognized Steve from the prior year. The haircut, the clothes and over an inch in newly gained height hid Steve’s past identity.

  Everyone thought Steve was a new kid in the class. His true identity was soon to be uncovered. His classmates came up to Steve and asked questions like ‘where he was from’ and ‘when did he move to the area’. Steve froze. Nothing would work. He could not speak. He could not process his thoughts. Nothing would come out.

  In Steve’s mind everything was going to be so easy. The new clothes, the new sneakers and the haircut would allow him to become someone else, someone who would be accepted. He thought he would no longer be an outcast from the rest of the students. He was going to be popular. He was going to have a lot of friends.

  All of the things that seemed so easy in his mind and in his dreams were now impossible. Nothing had really changed except his appearance. The words that came so easy around Luke and Mr. and Mrs. Jackson were gone and well beyond his reach. Steve quietly took his seat without being able to say a word to his classmates.

  During role call the teacher called out the name “Steven Peterson”. Steve raised his hand and the awful truth was now out. The jeers and taunting came back. They were relentless. The new clothes, new sneakers and even the new haircut could not help Steve’s silence and awkward behavior around his classmates.

  Steve walked home alone after his first day back to school. At times he broke down and cried. The day was a disaster. He never wanted to return to school again.

  When Steve didn’t show up at the Jackson’s after school, Karen began to worry. She checked with Jack next door and he had not remembered seeing Steve for days. Karen called Joe at the office when Steve was over an hour late. Joe left the office early to come home and help look for Steve.

  Joe and Karen retraced the route to and from school several times. There was no sign of Steve. Karen eventually found Steve a few hours later. He was sitting up high in the old oak tree, alone with his thoughts.

  The start of the school year turned out to be a setback for Steve. He became very depressed over the way he acted around his classmates. He had expected so much, but In the end nothing had changed for him.

  Karen and Joe both offered all of their support to Steve. They offered to pay for sessions to help him to overcome his fears and his inner turmoil. They took the time to sit with him and listened to his uncertainties. They explained that they would do everything they could to help him but it might take some time.

  Luke also suffered a slight setback when Steve returned to school. Luke missed Steve and had several brief episodes of silent behavior during the first few days of Steve’s absence. The episodes ceased once Luke realized Steve would return every afternoon after school.

  As the school year progressed, Steve agreed to attend the sessions recommended by Karen and Joe. The progress was slow. Karen and Joe did their best to encourage Steve and keep him focused on his schoolwork.

  * * *

  By the time Steve became a high school freshman, the improvements in his behavior with the outside world were starting to become visible. Steve excelled in all of his classes and actually made a couple of friends at school. He remained extremely shy and still found it very difficult to meet people for the first time.

  And then there were the girls. The girls would create all sorts of problems for Steve. Sometimes the simple act of a girl saying hello would cause Steve to freeze. His mind would become a jumble and he would be unable to communicate at all.

  Other times the same girl could say hello and Steve wouldn’t be able to stop talking. He would just babble on and on until the girl would eventually lose interest and walk away. Steve could never predict how he would react around the girls. So mostly, he tried to avoid them.

  At the same time, Luke’s progress continued at a great pace. He excelled in his speech class and became friends with several other kids in the program. Karen and Joe hired a tutor to teach Luke at home in hopes of getting his knowledge level up to
where his age group should be. Luke advanced quickly through most of the training and began to enjoy learning.

  When Luke was twelve, he tested average for his age group and was mainstreamed into the public school system at the sixth grade level. Just a few short years ago any thoughts of Luke being able to attend a public school were dreams at best. The experts had run out of ideas and Karen and Joe had almost run out of hope. They were overcome with joy and emotion and felt they owed it all to Steve Peterson.

  Time passed by quickly. By the time Steve entered the tenth grade, he was basically living with the Jackson’s on a full time basis. Karen and Joe loved him like a son. Steve often referred to them as Mom and Dad. Karen and Joe began to think they would like to make the arrangement permanent. They started to talk of adopting Steve.

  Chapter 16 - Denied

  It was a beautiful sunny Saturday morning in early April following Steve Peterson’s sixteenth birthday. The chilly days of the Florida winter had long faded away. The extremely hot and humid days of the Florida summer were still at least a month away. Florida’s population was starting to dwindle as the snowbirds were packing up their luggage and heading back north.

  The temperature of the tranquil water of the Gulf of Mexico was climbing in the semi-tropical climate. Beach weather had arrived. Local residents were heading west to the shore in droves. The Jackson’s were just like all the rest of the locals.

  Joe was hard at work packing up the family car in preparation for a day of fun and sun at Clearwater Beach. This area of Florida claims to have an average of three hundred and sixty sunny days per year. The Guinness World Book once listed Clearwater Beach as having the record for the most consecutive sunny days.

  The beautiful pure white sand of Clearwater Beach stretches out for several miles along the coast of the Gulf of Mexico. It is the perfect setting for the family to spend a beautiful and relaxing spring day.