Without Forever: Babylon MC Book 5

by James, Victoria L.

  “Someone mentioned her name the other day, and I couldn’t remember seeing her around.”

  “I heard she’s studying beauty shit at Navarro College.”

  “Beauty shit? That an official course title?”

  Kenny flashed me his middle finger and a grin. I wrinkled my nose and playfully bore my teeth at him, making him shake his head in humor. Figuring I’d taken the questions about Gemma as far as I could without raising questions and suspicions, I changed lanes.

  “Have you seen Libby today?”

  “Last free question. I’m gonna start charging after this one.”

  I made another face at him. “You do that, and I’ll start charging you for beers.”

  Kenny glanced down at his hand and back up at me before he rolled his eyes and smirked at me.

  “Libby’s with the kid. She came in looking for him earlier, then headed out to the bay to see him.”

  “Thank you.”

  Sliding his bottle along the bar until it dropped off into the trashcan, Kenny waved me off with a grunt and turned to grab another. Things around The Hut still weren’t back to normal, and it was like an elephant sat in the corner of the room for all of us. As much as I hated the impact Owen had on us, I knew that in time, once the distrust had passed, we would find a new normal, and we would make it work.

  I still wasn’t sure whether or not Drew wanted me to talk to Libby yet, either. I knew where she was. I knew what I wanted to ask her, but waiting for a game plan while everything trembled around us felt like torture.

  I had no idea what Drew was planning on doing with half the information he’d obtained, both from me about Libby and Rosie, and with all the information and evidence we’d gathered against our enemies. But I needed to know if Libby would try and hide the meeting she’d had with Rosie Sullivan or not. Part of me couldn’t imagine that she would. Libby had met Rosie at Rusty’s, which was my territory as well as The Hounds favorite spot these days. I couldn’t imagine her thinking that it would stay a secret. There were so many other places the two of them could have met had they been in cahoots with each other.

  I wasn’t sure what I planned on asking her as I headed out the door and onto the porch, but it all became a moot point the moment I heard the bike pull off the main road and into the yard. My attention was immediately diverted to the president of The Hounds rolling to a stop in his usual spot, and pulling off his sunglasses with a sexy flip of his wrist.

  Hopping down the porch steps, I pushed my hands into the pockets of my jeans as I approached him.

  “Any luck?” I asked after he’d killed the engine and glanced up at me.

  Drew’s small yet confident smile was his answer as he swung his leg off the bike and slowly closed the distance between us. When we met in the middle, with only a few inches between us, Drew glanced over my head at The Hut before he focused back on me.

  “I need to keep that father of mine on a leash.”

  I grabbed the front edges of his cut and pushed to my toes, pressing a kiss to his chin. “Wouldn’t that be like keeping an alligator on a leash?”

  Drew’s hands slid around the lower part of my back. “He’s too controlled to be an alligator. Despite it hurting to admit this again, he’s a quiet genius, and I’ve been stupid to underestimate him since he came back to Babylon.”

  “I think it’s safe to say that we all underestimated him.”

  Metaphorically speaking, Eric was the lone wolf. Being pack animals at heart, they all understood that they had to look after one another, but having imposed himself to isolation after being ingrained with that pack mentality for most of his life, it had forced Eric to become smarter. This wasn’t something you thought much about in terms of humans and their interactions, but Autumn had alluded to that little fact when she’d talked about Deeks and Eric in the past, and it made sense now.

  “People tend to do that when your last name is Tucker. You sure you want to marry into that?”

  I couldn’t help the grin that flashed at the thought of marrying this man. It had been one of the first thoughts every morning since he’d put the ring on my finger. “It can’t happen soon enough.”

  “Let’s get you inside. It’s getting late. I need a shower, and we need to talk.”

  Rocking back onto my heels, I nodded in agreement. The thought of seeing Drew in the shower never hurt. Sweeping his hand up in mine, I backtracked toward the porch and through the bar, where Kenny was no longer alone.

  “You want me to grab a bottle and meet you in the room?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

  “Sure thing, darlin’.”

  I watched him saunter away for a moment before heading to the bar where Kenny already had a bottle and two glasses waiting. The crazy eyebrows of his were high on his forehead as he smirked at me.

  “You want me to tell Libby you were looking for her?”

  “Nah, I’ll find her later.”

  “She won’t be difficult to find.”

  I sent Kenny a glare. His tone had filled in the blanks. I hadn’t needed the mental image of my brother and his girlfriend, but Kenny lived to torture me.

  “Kind of like Sloane and you then?”

  “Ouch. Was that supposed to hurt?” He chuckled and shook his head.

  “You know I could be much meaner, but it’s not in my nature.”

  There was a cough at the other end of the bar that I ignored as I picked up the bottle and glasses. With a dramatic roll of my eyes, I headed back to my room and followed the sound of running water to the bathroom, where Drew was already under the steaming flow of water.

  I admired him for a moment.

  It was hard not to.

  Drew had one of those bodies that demanded your attention. His skin was scarred, inked, and stretched over muscles that always rippled under the surface as he ran his hands through his hair. I never got used to seeing him like this, and I didn’t think I would ever lose appreciation for my good fortune. I knew what that body felt like under the palms of my hands, knew the heat that bled from his flesh when he wrapped himself around me. I had memorized that iron grip of his and the feeling of safety it always afforded me. When he turned to grab the soap, and I got a glance at his ass, my decision to join him was made.

  Sliding the bottle of whiskey onto the vanity, I stripped out of the clothes I was wearing and into the shower behind him, my hand covering his as he worked the soap over his chest, the other rested against his shoulder, absorbing his body heat.

  “You talk, I’ll scrub,” I whispered, brushing my lips over his back.

  Drew filled me in on everything Eric had alluded to, his eyes closing as temporary peace drifted over him under my care. The bitter edge to his voice when he spoke about Eric had disappeared, and in its place was a slight air of admiration and surprise.

  Eric had orchestrated the fires. All of them, including Pete’s tree and the warehouse. Misdirection, as Drew had suspected. Who he’d got to start those fires was still a mystery—one Drew didn’t like being in the dark about, but one Eric assured him he didn’t need to know about. Not yet, anyway.

  Jedd was a part of the plan, occupying the ATF with promises of treachery so their time was wasted on him rather than Drew, Eric, and most importantly, Rubin.

  Rubin.

  Just a friend of my younger brother’s, now playing a vital part in the MC’s future. How was this possible? How had all of this come full circle to Rubin, the mayor’s very own son, being the one to save us all?

  When Drew turned around in my arms, letting me run my soapy hands over his chest, he opened his eyes and let the water rain down his handsome face.

  “Do you want to know a secret, Ayda?” he whispered.

  “I do.”

  “I’m losing control of the club.”

  I blinked in surprise and rocked back far enough to catch his eyes with mine. I’d needed to see if he was serious, and he was. I could see it in the lines of his face, the clarity of his eyes, and the set of his mo
uth as he studied me right back.

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Can’t you see it?” His expression was blank, accepting, and I had to imagine Drew saying those words without fury tainting his tongue when I first met him. His club had always been his everything. It was the blood running through his veins. The ink on his chest. It was the beating of his heart and the light in his eyes, but now…

  Drew sighed softly and then drew in a breath. “I’m good at reacting. I’m good at being at the front of the pack when they need someone bold enough to bark and howl from the rooftops. They know I’m loyal. I was born to be who I am—the president of the mighty Hounds of Babylon MC. And all that’s been a part of my life I’ve had to accept, even on the days when I’ve felt more alone than a man standing at the top of a mountain. But things are different now. People don’t come to me to ask my advice like they once did. They don’t need my approval to respond to a situation. They don’t mind keeping me in the dark when they think it’s for the greater good. That’s something Slater, Jedd, Kenny… fuck, all my men… it’s something they wouldn’t have done before I went to prison. When I came out, they wanted a leader to return, and I guess for a bit, I did. I was angry enough to do it. I was vengeful enough to want it, but now…”

  “Now…?” I echoed.

  “Now there’s only gratitude. Revenge is more motivating than gratitude. It gives you a greater drive. I think I’ve lost that drive now. All I want is… peace.”

  I rinsed my hands quickly before framing his face in my palms, and I pulled in a long breath.

  “I think you’re wrong. I think that this club has grown and evolved since you’ve been out of prison, but I don’t think that means you’re losing control, Drew. These guys trust you. They idolize you, but you’ve also let them know that you trust and respect them, which means they have the freedom to make these choices for the good of the club. For you. That doesn’t tell me you’re a bad leader or that you’re not angry and vengeful enough to lead them. It means that you’re thinking, and you have them doing the same. Every single one of us loves this club, but the club isn’t what it is without all of you. Or without you in particular. You’re the heart and soul of this place and every last one of those men knows that. They feel that.”

  “I never said I was a bad leader, Ayda,” he said softly. “But I am an honest one, and I have to be honest with myself about what’s in my heart. And right now…” He trailed off, glancing down at my bare stomach, a small scowl creasing his brows together. “Now there’s more to life than death for me. More than motor oil, patches, and enemies. I’m losing control, whether you like to think it or not.” His gaze rose slowly, taking in every inch of my naked skin before his eyes locked on mine again. “And the truth of my heart tells me I’m okay with that,” he whispered.

  I released a long breath. Inside, I already knew what I felt. It had always been there. It was a mantra that played every time I looked at him. I’d always thought that it meant something different. I’d thought it had meant destruction, but now I realized that the possibilities were as endless as the love I felt for him.

  “I will follow you anywhere, Drew Tucker.”

  He smiled softly, the force of it barely moving his lips, but I saw the real happiness in the crease of his eyes. “All I want is a life filled with you.”

  “You couldn’t get rid of me if you wanted to.” I felt tears stinging my eyes. I was happy. Happier than I felt I had any right to be in this moment while the world around us was on fire, but it was there, right in the center of my chest: an overwhelming love that would always eclipse everything else in my universe. “I can’t wait to marry you. I don’t want to wait.”

  Drew wrapped me in his arms, curling my body against his as he held me tight and rested his cheek against the top of my head. “Call Autumn in the morning. No more waiting. Life’s too short. Arrange the wedding of your dreams. The fires can wait until we’re ready to put them out. There’s nothing I want more than to marry you and marry you now.”

  I threw myself at him, catching us both off guard as his back hit the tile and our mouths crashed together. There just weren’t enough words to express my feelings. There were also no clothes to keep us apart.

  Drew took control easily. I may have made the first move, but his hands were slow and gentle, running from my shoulders and down under my arms. No matter how hard and fast I wanted him, he was setting the pace tonight, and from the looks that he aimed at me, he was in the mood to appreciate the time we had together and worship every inch of skin he could reach in his own time.

  I wasn’t going to complain. He could have me any way he wanted me.

  Drew’s thumbs brushed the edges of my breasts in a slow, teasing slide, slipping under the weight of them with a hum of appreciation. He twisted us, my back now pressed against the wall so I was fully at his mercy. He spread his palms over my ribs and lowered himself just enough to press his mouth over my right nipple, his teeth grazing the taut skin as the water beat down around us.

  My breath rushed out in a mass evacuation from my lungs, and my head fell back and hit the wall as a moan of pure appreciation left my mouth at his sudden attention. Drew knew my body. He knew every dip and valley of my flesh. He understood where to touch, where to lick, and even where to brush, so gently that I would beg for it to be harder. If my body had been a puzzle, he’d know where every piece connected, and he proved it every time.

  He moved slow and languorously between teasing with his tongue and teeth, working my body into a heated frenzy that I wasn’t sure I would be able to control for long. I wanted it all and more. I wanted his fast and hard—his slow and attentive. I wanted to see his eyes and watch the green flare into dominance as he pushed into me. I wanted it all because I knew he could give it to me. I knew that every contradicting thought and need would be met and that only seemed to make the ache between my thighs grow.

  My fingers fisted in his hair when he switched his attention to my neglected nipple by dragging his hot mouth and tongue over my chest, exploring the skin there. I moved quickly in sudden desperation, one leg riding up his thigh and hooking over his hip in an invitation as I fought, and failed, to draw in a breath and regain some control over that physical connection between us.

  Drew didn’t take the invitation. He reached past me, turning off the water as our eyes met, and I knew tonight was going to last a while. The intensity that burned in his eyes promised it and was followed when he swept me up against his body, my legs wrapping around his waist as he carried me out of the shower and into our room.

  He didn’t so much as acknowledge how wet we both still were as he laid me on the bed and then stepped back to look at me. His gaze roamed over my body, taking it all in. I knew when his focus landed on the marks I’d tried to hide from him. The blue and green of his eyes lit like fire, stoking the flames of anger before he let them give way to arousal again.

  I couldn’t say I wasn’t taking my chance to look at him also. Drew Tucker was a sight to behold naked, but glistening in the dim light with droplets of water gathering in the ridges of his muscles was something I was having trouble finding words for.

  Climbing on the bed, he took his time making his way up to me, his lips brushing up one of my legs while his hand trailed up the other. He stopped on the creases of my hips, licking the water from them one at a time before brushing his lips to my belly and closing his eyes. I’d never in my life known that being touched like this, so gently and reverently, could make my body ache with a need for satisfaction. I watched him crawling up my body, my hips rolling as he tended to every mark and bruise that had been left on my skin, his mouth brushing over each one as his eyes met mine and made those silent promises over and over again.

  When he finally reached my lips and settled his hips between my thighs, I was ravenous—my skin a raw nerve that trembled under every brush of his breath as he hovered over me. He must have known what he was doing, and when my eyes met his, I kn
ew for certain. That beautiful smirk that said everything he refused to say had curled those beautiful lips and made my tentative control snap completely.

  Pushing up on my elbows, I crashed into his body, our lips colliding so violently that teeth clicked and nipped the skin of the other. My palms found his damp skin, sliding over the muscles and bone as I tried desperately to pull him closer, needing to feel him inside of me.

  “Drew.”

  It was all I needed to say—that one word—full of pleading and desperation. I sometimes forgot that he’d set the world alight if I asked him to.

  Holding my gaze, Drew pushed himself into me with such urgency—such need, it felt like the world shifted below us. He paused for only a moment, his eyes holding mine, reading everything that sat there like an open book for him to devour. When he looked at me this way, I knew he saw love, happiness, safety, trust, and our forever staring back at him.

  Drew sucked in a breath, one corner of his mouth twitching in satisfaction before his patience waned and he snapped, giving us both exactly what we wanted and needed.

  With him inside me, I knew there was no way on earth I would ever get used to the way Drew Tucker fucked me.

  Chapter Fifteen

  DREW

  Seeing Eric and Jedd had given my soul a sense of peace, even though I still had a thousand questions and a million reasons to stay awake. The only thing I’d needed after the day I’d had was her. The need to make her come and have her whisper my name in my ear was stronger than ever. No better feeling existed.

  With Ayda’s head resting on my chest and her breaths falling against my skin, nothing else seemed to matter. I was tired. So tired. Not just from recent events, but from my life. All of it. The expectation, the damnation, the purpose, the leadership…

  I was fucking exhausted.

  I’d listened to Ayda’s quiet, heavy breathing for a while. The ceiling held my attention for only a few minutes before dreams of a peaceful life, a wife, and a healthy baby filled my world.