Sweet Surrender

by Leeanna Morgan

  When another burst of applause came from the audience, Willow only cringed a little bit.

  “I should go back to my seat.” Megan hugged Willow. “Have a great concert.”

  “Thanks.”

  After Megan left, Zac asked, “Do you want me to leave, too?”

  That was the last thing Willow wanted. “No, stay. It’s good to have company.”

  “While you’re singing, I’ll be sitting by the front of the stage on the right-hand side. If you need reassurance, just look my way.”

  “I’ll remember.”

  “Good.”

  The curtain opened again and Ryan stepped into the changing room. “Hi, Zac. Are you looking forward to the concert?”

  “I am. I’ll be even happier when Willow’s on the stage.”

  Ryan studied Willow’s face. “I don’t need to ask how you’re feeling.”

  “I’m better since Megan and Zac visited me.”

  “That’s good.” Ryan pulled out a small gift bag. “I’ve got something that might make you feel even better. Sophie said this helps calm her nerves.”

  Whatever was inside the bag wouldn’t be illegal. But with Sophie’s knowledge of natural supplements, herbs, and spices, anything could be lurking inside the canvas.

  Willow opened the drawstring. Inside was a small sachet tied with pale purple ribbon. She lifted it to her nose and sighed.

  “It’s lavender,” Ryan said. “It’s supposed to relax you when you’re stressed.”

  For the first time since she’d arrived at the concert, Willow’s smile felt genuine. “Thank you. It’s perfect.”

  “I’m glad you like it.” Ryan checked his watch. “We’ve got four minutes until the concert starts. I’ll be waiting beside the band.”

  “I’ll be there soon.” Willow grabbed hold of Zac’s hand, not wanting him to leave her side. With her other hand she lifted the bag of lavender to her nose and took a long sniff.

  “Is it helping?”

  The amusement in Zac’s voice was even more calming than the lavender. “I think so. You were all thinking the same thing.”

  “We were thinking about you.”

  A lump formed in her throat. She knew her friends cared about her, but it was nice to hear it spoken out loud. “Sometimes, Zac Hilary, you say the sweetest things.”

  He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. “Enjoy the concert and try not to let your nerves get the better of you.”

  Willow stared into his brown eyes. “I’ll look for you.”

  He kissed her gently on the lips. “I’ll be there.”

  Taking another deep breath, Willow stepped out of Zac’s embrace and straightened her shoulders.

  She could do this. She had to do this.

  The money from the concerts would pay for four more tiny homes. Regardless of how she felt, a lot of people were counting on her. And Willow wasn’t letting anyone down, least of all herself.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Zac made his way to the seating area in front of the stage. Even sold out concerts usually had a few empty seats when people’s plans changed. But not tonight. Each of the chairs and all of the platform seating was full of eager fans waiting to hear Ryan and Willow sing.

  He glanced at his ticket before squeezing between two rows of seats. It felt strange to overhear parts of conversations about his girlfriend. For him, Willow was an amazing person with a big heart and a gentle soul. For the people who had come to hear her sing, she was a country music star, someone they admired and wanted to be like.

  By the time he sat down, he began to understand why Willow valued her privacy so much. Having strangers talk about the clothes you wore, how tired you looked in your photos, and the mystery man you’re dating would be difficult for anyone to come to terms with. But for Willow, it was even harder. Her previous manager had not only broken the trust between them, but he’d shaken her confidence.

  Zac leaned forward and waved at Emma. Between the two of them sat six excited girls, including Nora.

  When Pastor John walked onto the stage, an expectant hush fell over the audience.

  “Welcome to Sapphire Bay’s first fundraising concert for the tiny home village. My name is John McDonald and I’m the pastor at the local church. Each day, The Welcome Center provides meals for up to forty people and accommodation for thirty. Like many towns and cities around the world, finding affordable accommodation is nearly impossible. To help people who can’t find safe and warm housing, the church is building twenty-five tiny homes and remodeling another four houses. The money we raise this weekend will be used to build some of the tiny homes.”

  A loud cheer rang out from the audience.

  Zac’s heart pounded. Loud noise he could deal with. Unexpected loud noises set off his PTSD like a flame in a forest of dry timber. He reached into his pocket and took out a pair of earplugs. If he dimmed the noise, there was more chance he’d be here for the entire concert. Because no matter what, he’d told Willow he would be here for her. And it was a promise he intended to keep.

  When the noise lowered enough for John to be heard, he continued. “I’d like to send a big thank you to Ryan and Willow for performing here tonight. Without their support, none of this would be possible. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I’d like to introduce Ryan Evans and Willow Clarke, two of the country’s most successful country music stars.”

  This time the people at the concert went crazy. Even the girls beside Zac stomped their feet and clapped their hands, cheering loudly.

  For the first time, Zac understood Willow’s nerves. Standing in front of two thousand screaming fans would be his worst nightmare. Sitting amongst them wasn’t much better.

  Willow and Ryan ran onto the stage, smiling and waving at their adoring fans.

  Without missing a beat, Willow’s gaze traveled through the audience, stopping when she saw Zac. He doubted anyone else would have noticed the relief in her face.

  I’m here for you, Willow. You can do this.

  The band played the first notes of a ballad. The music echoed around the lake, drifting through the audience like a blanket of silk.

  The crowd fell silent, and Willow’s voice soared.

  An hour later, Zac didn’t know if he would be able to stay at the concert. He could tolerate most of the noise, but as soon as the tempo of the music increased and the strobe lights shone across the audience, his brain went into overdrive. It didn’t matter what he told himself or how many relaxation techniques he tried—he couldn’t stop the panic tearing through his body.

  His heart was pounding so much that he could feel his blood pumping through his veins.

  It will be all right. It’s only music.

  Sweat broke across his forehead. Balling his hands into fists, he tried to stop his body from shaking. But no matter what he did, he couldn’t even pretend to be enjoying himself.

  Emma leaned forward and frowned. She whispered something to Nora before leaving her seat.

  He hoped she wasn’t going too far away. If what was happening to him got any worse, he’d need all the support he could get.

  Within minutes, Pastor John was crouched in front of him. “Do you need to leave?”

  “I can’t. I promised Willow I’d stay.”

  “She’ll understand.” John placed two fingers on his wrist. “Your heart is beating too fast. Come with me.”

  Zac winced when the band launched into the instrumental part of a song. The stage lighting became more intense, pulsing against the pitch-black sky.

  John held his arm as he half dragged Zac out of the concert. Hopefully, Willow would realize why he’d disappeared. But at the moment, he was more worried about what he would do if he didn’t get away from the bright lights and loud noise.

  By the time they reached the parking lot, his world was reduced to a pinprick of light, leaving him dizzy and disorientated. He stumbled, falling over his own feet like a drunken sailor.

  A strong hand gripped
his arm. “Hang on. We’re nearly at my truck.”

  Zac didn’t care where they were going, as long as it was away from the concert.

  “Did you bring any medication with you?”

  He nodded and reached into his jacket pocket. Before he left home, he’d doubled the amount of emergency medication he carried. Coming here tonight was always going to be risky, but he thought he’d be okay. But he wasn’t, not by a long shot.

  John’s arm dropped to Zac’s waist. Somehow, he managed to half-carry him across to the truck.

  Zac collapsed onto the front seat. Dropping his head between his knees, he focused on breathing—on staying in the here and now and not in the middle of a hot Kabul summer.

  Montana was thousands of miles away from Afghanistan, but he could taste the grit of the sand, hear the high-pitched screams of women and children being torn to shreds by an avalanche of bullets.

  Breathe. In. Out.

  He closed his eyes.

  Inhale.

  Exhale.

  “Here’s a bottle of water. How many tablets do you need?”

  Thinking about an answer was like stepping through a thick, boggy, minefield. “Two red. One purple.”

  The click of the lid opening and closing was the only clue Zac had of what was happening.

  “Take these. Remember the water.”

  Short, sharp, and direct. That was the only way he would be able to get through the next few hours.

  He swallowed the tablets, praying they’d kick in sooner than they normally did. “I’ll be all right in a few minutes.”

  “That’s what everyone says. You’re coming back to my place.”

  The shaking in Zac’s hands was getting worse. If he didn’t go with John, he’d end up in the fetal position in the back of the truck.

  John leaned inside the cab, buckling Zac’s seat belt into place. “Don’t worry about Willow. I’ll let her know you’re with me.”

  All Zac could do was grunt. His head throbbed with a pain that was twice as bad as a migraine.

  Without saying another word, John drove back to his house, hauled Zac out of the truck, and lowered him onto a bed.

  With the curtains closed and a blanket thrown over his shaking body, Zac prepared for the worst.

  And that’s exactly what he got.

  Willow walked off the stage just as Ryan was launching into a medley of his greatest hits. The fifteen-minute break was supposed to give her time to have a drink and relax her vocal cords. But all she wanted to do was find out where Zac had gone.

  She turned on her phone and checked her messages. John’s text worried her. She hadn’t thought about the noise and lights of the concert triggering Zac’s PTSD. Guilt and a huge dose of dread made her hand tremble as she called John.

  If his cell phone was turned off she didn’t know what she would do. Apart from Levi and Brooke who were on their honeymoon, all her friends were at the—

  “Hi, Willow. Zac’s safe. He took some medication and has fallen asleep.”

  “Does he need to go to the hospital?”

  “I don’t think so. I’m looking after him at my place.”

  Hot tears burned her eyes. “I feel so bad. I didn’t think about his PTSD.”

  “No one knew this would happen. Has Zac had any panic attacks or other symptoms of PTSD since he’s been here?”

  “I don’t think so. Will he be okay?”

  John sighed. “I’m sure he will. But without knowing what usually happens when he has a panic attack, I don’t know how long the symptoms will last. Everyone’s experience of PTSD is different.”

  Willow bit her bottom lip. “What about the concert? After the last song you’re supposed to thank everyone for coming.”

  “If you can thank Ryan and the audience for being part of the fundraising effort, I’d appreciate it. That way, I can stay here with Zac.”

  Willow wiped the tears off her face. “You don’t know how much I appreciate what you’re doing. I’ll come around straight after the concert. Thank you for looking after Zac.”

  “You’re welcome. Now go and sing your heart out.”

  “I will. I’ll see you soon.” Willow turned off her phone and looked around the backstage area. All she needed to do was get through the next hour without breaking down. But first, she had a group of excited girls to bring on stage.

  Willow stood beside Ryan, gazing down at Nora and her friends. Just looking at their faces made her remember what it was like to be excited about being alive. It was easy to forget the magic, the small things that could make a big difference in your life.

  The girls’ eyes shone with happiness as Ryan talked about the opening ceremony of the tiny home village. When he mentioned the song Nora and her friends had sung, the audience burst into applause.

  If they looked excited before, the girls were awestruck when he invited them onto the stage for a repeat performance. At first, no one moved. Then, one by one, they looked at Emma, waiting to see if they’d heard Ryan correctly.

  When Emma nodded, they leapt out of their seats and headed toward the stage.

  Willow met them on the stairs.

  “Do you and Ryan really want us to sing?” Nora asked Willow.

  She nodded. “Most of the people in the audience didn’t hear your song the other day. Would you like to sing to some different people?”

  All the girls nodded.

  “Then follow me,” Willow whispered. “And don’t worry about the band. They know the music.”

  Everyone stood in a line in the middle of the stage, exactly as they’d done at the tiny home village.

  Willow knelt on the floor in front of them. “What do you see when you look into the audience?”

  “Lots of people sitting in the front rows,” one of the girls quietly replied. “But I can’t see anyone far away.”

  Considering how nervous everyone looked, Willow thought that was a good thing. “Can you see Emma?”

  Everyone nodded.

  “I can see my mom and dad, too,” a little girl with blond hair said.

  Willow smiled. “That’s great. When you’re singing, pretend you’re singing to Emma or your families.”

  “Will you stay with us?” Nora asked.

  “If you want me to.”

  Nora looked on either side of her, gauging her friends’ response. Their bobbing heads showed just how unsure they were about standing on the stage. “We want you to stay.”

  The girl with blond hair stepped forward. “Can you sing with us?”

  All the girls nodded. There was such an openness in their expressions, that Willow felt humbled by their request. “Okay.”

  Someone brought a chair from behind the curtains and placed it in the middle of the stage. Everyone clustered around Willow, biting their bottom lips and chewing their nails.

  “This will be fun,” Willow said, trying to encourage the girls as much as possible. After nodding at the band, the first notes of the song rose into the air.

  Fresh tears stung Willow’s eyes as the girls’ voices filled the stage with a pure, sweet rendition of, “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother.”

  For a group who hadn’t been singing together for very long, their harmonies were incredible.

  The connection between the lyrics and the goals of the tiny home village weren’t lost on the audience. Most of the people Willow could see were dabbing their eyes, caught in the emotion of a song about unconditional love. About being there for each other, no matter what happened in someone’s life.

  The tiny homes and the services The Welcome Center provided gave people hope. In their darkest days, when no one else gave them a chance to live a normal, safe, and healthy life, the community was opening their arms and welcoming them to Sapphire Bay.

  As she joined in the chorus, Willow thought about Zac and the sacrifices he’d made to help the refugees. Her heart swelled with pride and a little sadness. Working in Afghanistan had changed his life, left him with challenges he couldn’t h
ave imagined. She would do everything she could to be the person who carried him when he needed a strong pair of arms.

  Goose bumps rose along Willow’s arms as Nora sang the last verse on her own. Her voice was pure and natural, everything the song needed to lodge itself inside the most hardened of hearts.

  As the last notes drifted across the park, they dissolved like cotton candy in the cool mountain air.

  For a few seconds, the audience sat silently in their seats, spellbound by the performance. When the applause began, it rang across the lake, echoing along the streets and into the town they called home.

  Willow wiped her eyes and smiled at the girls. Their pink cheeks and wide smiles reminded her of when she’d started performing. She’d felt the same sense of wonder, the same excitement when an audience clapped and cheered. The same adrenaline rush that kept her returning for more.

  Nora’s small hand settled in Willow’s.

  “Let’s bow,” Willow said above the applause.

  The girls stood in a single line. With their hands linked, they bent at the waist, smiling at the audience.

  After a final wave, the girls rushed to the side of the stage.

  Ryan was waiting for them. “Well done. That was fantastic!”

  Nora and her friends couldn’t contain their excitement. They hugged each other and jumped up and down like overactive bunny rabbits.

  Willow grinned at Ryan. “We don’t need to ask how they’re feeling.”

  “I’m glad they enjoyed themselves. I’ll see you after the next song.” And while the girls talked nonstop to each other, Ryan returned to the stage.

  “Who’s ready to go back to their seats?” Willow asked.

  Six hands shot in the air.

  “Let’s go. If we’re quick, you’ll be sitting down before Ryan starts singing.”

  Emma met them at the bottom of the stairs. Her wide smile told everyone just how much she’d enjoyed their performance. “That was awesome. Congratulations.” And while the band played the opening chords of the next song, she ushered them toward their seats.

  Willow waited until everyone was seated before returning to the stage.