by Xana Jordan
“I don’t know about love right now, but it could be that. I just know that I don’t want to be without her anymore, and I’m not leaving, even if she tells me to,” I tell him honestly.
“Good. But remember what I told you last time. That was your one free pass. Mess up again, and I won’t be so nice this time,” he warns me. Message heard.
“Got it. I’ll tell her you called. I need to check on her.”
“Call me if she gets worse.” I agree, and we say our goodbyes.
Laying her phone down on the counter, I grab the thermometer I brought with me. As I am taking her temperature, she begins whimpering and tears start to form in the corners of her eyes. Using my thumb, I brush away her tears and talk quietly to her.
“Ssssh, Sweetness. It’s alright. You’ll be fine.” Xana’s body stills and her eyes slowly open just a sliver.
“Noe. It hurts,” she moans, her voice quiet and scratchy. Her hands move to her stomach.
Holding her face in my hands, I ask, “What hurts, baby? Tell me where it hurts.” Her lips start to quiver and I can feel her body shake beneath the bedding.
Xana closes her eyes and takes a few shallow breaths, and answers, “Everywhere.”
“I’m going to give you some Tylenol and a little Sprite, alright? Can you take that for me?” I run one hand down the side of her face to brush away more tears.
“Okay,” she breathes, and closes her eyes. As I stand to get her drink and medicine, she weakly grabs onto my arm and begs me not to leave her.
“I’m not going anywhere, Xan. I’ll be right back,” I promise her, then get the things I need. While I’m up, I check my phone for messages and grab a cool wet cloth for her forehead. Mallory has texted me. I send her a quick reply letting her know about Xana, and tell her that if I need anything I will let her know.
Xana opens her eyes when I sit down beside her. “Here, baby. Take these and drink a little, okay?” She nods her head and sits up a little with some help.
After she takes the medicine and has a few sips of the drink, she falls the few inches backward onto her pillow, then closes her eyes. As I walk to her desk to put the drink down, she calls my name softly. Setting the cup down, I go and sit beside her.
“Thank you.” Her eyes move to mine and she continues, “Hold me?”
“Always.” I take off my shoes and lay on the bed beside her. She tucks herself into the crook of my arm, her head and hand resting on my chest. Holding her closer to me, I cover her hand with mine. She relaxes immediately and falls asleep instantly.
“Always, Sweetness. Always,” I whisper and kiss the top of her head before falling asleep myself, enjoying the feel of her in my arms once again.
Stacy and I decide to go back to the dorms after pizza and a movie. It’s not terribly late, but she is a little tired from watching Xana last night and most of today. As we walk toward their room, Stacy can’t stop yawning.
“Do you want me to carry you, Short Stuff?” I ask her as she leans against my side.
“If we had further to walk, I’d take you up on it, Hot Stuff.” Stacy yawns again and I laugh at her.
“Come on, sleepy. Let’s get you inside,” I tell her and take the keys away from her to open the door. We walk inside the room, and find Xana and Noel asleep in her bed. Stacy walks the few steps over to them while I shut the door.
“Oh, Cade,” she whispers as I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. I look over her shoulder and see what she sees. Xana is curled up around Noel who is on top of the comforter. Both are sound asleep.
“They’ll make their way back, Stace.” I lay my chin on her shoulder and hold her closer to me. She wraps her arms around mine and sighs.
“I know. If anyone can reach her, it’s him,” Stacy agrees.
Noel begins to stir and opens his eyes to find us standing in front of him. “Hey, guys. What time is it?” he asks as he rubs Xana’s back. She snuggles her head into his chest and lets out a tiny sigh. It’s the most content I’ve seen her all day.
“It’s about eleven twenty. We came straight home,” Stacy informs him. “How did she do?” Noel tries to sit up, but Xana holds him tighter.
“I got her to take some Tylenol and drink a little Sprite. She’s been asleep ever since, and it seems I have, too,” Noel replies and, once again, tries to sit up. Stacy holds Xana’s arm away from him to help them get untangled.
Noel manages to sit up, feet on the floor, on the side of the bed. Turning to face her, he moves the hair from Xana’s face and she opens her eyes slowly. It’s obvious she’s still pretty groggy.
“Hi,” she says to Noel.
“Hi, back,” he tells her. “How do you feel?”
“Thirsty and sore.” Xana tries to sit up but doesn’t have the strength. Stacy gets her a drink and some crackers and takes them to her. Noel holds her head up enough for her to take the glass Stacy brought her.
“Here, Sweets. Eat these,” Stacy says as she tries to give Xana the crackers. Xana shakes her head, takes just the cup from Stace, and only drinks a few sips.
“No food,” Xana insists, lying back down. Stacy gives in and puts the crackers away.
I guide Stacy over to her bed, pull her into my lap, and turn the television on. Noel sits against Xana’s headboard, legs stretched out along her bed. He wraps his arm around her, and she leans into him. I give him a quick nod and find something Xana will like to watch. I’m glad she’s finally awake for more than a few minutes.
The four of us watch television and talk a little until it’s time for Stacy to check Noel and me out. By then, Xana’s almost asleep again. That thirty minutes of watching a movie really wore her out. She still looks really pale, but maybe she’ll feel better in the morning.
Noel gathers his books and walks over to Xana’s bed. He leans down and whispers something to her that makes her smile. When she closes her eyes, Stacy walks both of us to the lobby to check out. As we near the lobby, Stacy stops Noel and says, “Thanks for taking care of her. It means a lot.”
“I’ll be over to stay with her tomorrow,” Noel says and looks toward the front desk.
“Tomorrow,” Stacy questions.
“I know you have to work, and I’m not letting her stay by herself. I’ll stay until you get off.” Noel doesn’t wait for her to respond, and simply walks up to the resident advisor on duty to get his ID card and check out. Stacy is still standing where she was, staring at him.
“You know he’s right and you can’t argue with him once he’s made up his mind. She’ll be taken care of. Now, let’s go.” I take her hand and walk the rest of the way to the front desk and check out, following Noel through the front doors.
I pull Stacy into my arms on the front steps of the dorm and kiss her goodnight. “Go on back inside and go to sleep, but call us if you need anything, alright?” I look into her green eyes and kiss her nose.
“Okay.” Stacy hugs me one more time and walks back inside.
After I park my car back in the dorm lot, I walk my way across the parking lot. Noel is waiting for me on the steps of our dorm, and I sit beside him. We sit in silence for a long time, listening to the random chatter of people out and about on campus. Noel rests his elbows on his knees and lowers his head to his hands. I pat him on the shoulder, and give the back of his neck a small squeeze.
“I know, man. I know.” Standing up, I look down at him, and kick his shoe with mine. “Let’s call it a night. You need your beauty sleep before you see her in the morning. Stace has to be at work by noon and we have gym early in the morning.”
As soon as Stacy lets us in her room, I set my things down and check on Xana. She looks even paler that she did last night, if that’s even possible. I was sure she would be on the mend today after the way she was able to stay awake before Cade and I left last night. This has to be more than the flu.
“She looks worse, Stacy.” I sit down beside Xana and smooth out the tangles in her hair. She’s all sweaty.
“She, well we, had a really rough night. She was up a few times trying to throw up, but there wasn’t anything to throw up, and now she’s exhausted. I finally got her back to sleep about six this morning. If she’s not better by the time I get off work, I’m taking her to the school clinic,” Stacy informs me as she gathers her keys and purse to leave for work.
“I thought she’d be better after last night. She seemed a little more coherent before we left.” I pull the covers up around Xana and go get another wet washcloth for her forehead and the thermometer.
“I did, too. Look, call me if you need anything. We have a few extra people working at the library today, so it’ll be easier for me to leave for a bit to help.” Stacy walks to the door and puts on her coat and scarf.
“We’ll be fine. Mal’s stopping by when she gets off work at two. She was afraid to call this morning in case you two were still asleep.” I lay the washcloth across Xan’s forehead and take her temperature. Ninety-nine point zero. That’s not too bad.
“That’s good. Hopefully, last night was the end of it.” Stacy opens the door and turns back to me. “I should be back by six. Thanks for staying with her, Noel.”
“Nowhere I’d rather be. Now, go before you’re late.” Stacy smiles at me before rushing off to work. I lock the door behind her and walk over to the desk I laid my things on.
I’m working on my English Composition paper when Xana begins making little pained noises. I grab the Tylenol and a cup of water, and take them over to her. When I sit down beside her, I can swear I hear her call out my name. I lean down to press my lips to her forehead when I notice how much hotter she feels that before.
“Noel. Don’t...Stay...Need you. Hold,” she mutters as a pained expression takes over her face. I’m able to get her to cooperate enough to give her the medicine and water before she calls out for me again.
“Noel. Stay.” She somehow manages to grab hold of my arm, forcing me to stay seated.
Gently placing the partially full cup on the floor, I kick off my shoes and lie on the bed alongside Xana. That must have been what she wanted, because she cuddles up to me immediately, and falls asleep. Unable to deny how much holding her soothes me, I fall asleep right along with her.
Around two, I’m awakened by Xana’s moaning. We’re both covered in sweat, and I get up to get a fresh, wet washcloth to wipe her face with. I take her temperature again, and it’s gone up to one hundred and two. Just as I lay the cloth across her forehead and get another one to wrap around the back of her neck, my phone dings with a text message.
MALLORY: I’m off work. Do you need anything?
ME: Could use some ice. Xana has a fever.
MALLORY: Be there in 15.
ME: Thx.
By the time Mallory gets to the room, I’ve put Xan’s hair in a crude ponytail, and got her to drink a little, but she’s still in pain. Mallory suggests we try to get her to take a cool shower, but Xana refuses to let me away from her. Instead, Mal makes a makeshift ice pack to put behind her neck, then gives her some of the ibuprofen I brought over last night. I sit Xana across my lap so I can hold the ice pack on her neck.
I rub her back and arms to help ease her pain while Mal goes back to her room to change out of her work uniform. Xana doesn’t stop groaning in pain, and there seems to be nothing I can do to help her. That’s it. I can’t watch her in pain like this anymore.
Mallory comes back into the room, and Xana has started crying. “Please, make it stop. Noel, please make it stop. It hurts so bad,” she cries into my chest, almost doubled over in pain. I look up at Mallory before I lose my mind.
“Go get your car, and meet me out front. We’re taking her to the clinic right now. This isn’t right.” Mallory nods, and dashes out of the room in a dead run.
“Sssh, baby. It’s going to be alright. I’m gonna take you to the clinic. Just hold on, Sweetness.” I grab the blanket from the end of her bed and wrap it around her as best as I can. Standing, I grab my phone from her desk and carry Xana through the dorm and into the lobby. The resident assistant at the front desk tries to stop me, but I keep going, yelling over my shoulder where I’m taking her.
Once outside, Mallory helps me get her in the car, and I climb in the backseat with her. Pulling her to me, I do my best to comfort her, whispering reassuring words in her ear. Her hands cling to my shirt as she begs me to make it stop. That about breaks me.
When we get Xana into the clinic, the nurse ushers us immediately into the examination room. She begins taking Xana’s vitals as I tell her what has been going on up until now. Before the nurse can examine her further, I leave the room and step out into the hallway to call Stacy. Stacy actually hangs up on me after I tell her I’ve taken Xana to the clinic. She didn’t even wait to hear the rest before leaving the library. I know she’s as shaken up as I am. Walking into the waiting room, I let Mallory know Stacy is on her way so she can bring her back to the exam room when she gets here.
I’m on my way back to the exam room, when the nurse steps out into the hallway and tells me Xana’s calling for me. Rushing back into the room, I wrap her in my arms and try to keep her calm. A few minutes later, the doctor comes in and asks both of us a few more questions. I answer them as best as I can. Xana’s crying hard enough that it’s hard to understand what’s she’s trying to say, so I relay what little I can to the doctor. Stacy is brought into the room right as the doctor wants to examine Xana. With a lot of reassurance from Stacy and me that I’m not really leaving, Xana agrees to let me leave the room so they can examine her.
I find myself walking back into the waiting room to sit in a chair beside Mallory, when Cade barrels through the clinic doors.
“Stace called me and didn’t make much sense. What’s going on?” Cade stops in front of me and looks at Mallory and me for answers.
“I don’t really know. Her temperature got really high and she was crying from pain. I couldn’t stand seeing her like that so Mal and I brought her here. This shit is not normal, Cade. Flu, my ass.” I stand and begin pacing the floor, continually glancing toward the hallway where Xana’s room is located.
“Stacy is back there with her now while the doctor examines her,” Mallory explains as Cade nods and watches me pace back and forth.
“GAH, what is taking them so long?” I ask no one in particular. Cade and Mallory try to talk to me, but I can’t hear what they’re saying. All I can think of is Xana’s pained face, and her crying for me not to leave her. Unable to take any more of the distance between us, I head down the hallway to wait outside the exam room door in case she needs me again.
I have no grasp on how much time passed as I sat on the floor in the hallway. I’m about ready to get up and knock on the door when Stacy opens it to find me sitting right outside. “You can come in now. She wants you.”
The doctor is writing a few things in her chart as I walk up to her and take hold of her hand. Xana is still pale, but she’s a lot calmer than before, no longer crying. She turns her head to look up at me when I sit in the chair beside her.
“You’re here,” she says with a scratchy voice and gives me a weak smile.
“Hey, Sweetness.” Xana closes her eyes when I say that, and a tear falls from the corner of her eye. “Don’t cry, Xan. It’s alright.” I try to reassure her, but I’m not sure how effective I am when my own voice breaks.
The doctor finishes giving Stacy some instructions and a prescription to fill for Xana, and leaves the room just as the nurse enters. She asks Xana a few more questions, gives her a sheet with some instructions, and tells her to make sure she makes an appointment with her doctor as soon as possible. Stacy and I promise to make sure she does, and the nurse gives Xana a couple of pain pills to take until we can get her medication filled at the pharmacy.
I’m so thankful she’s not in pain like before, but I can see the exhaustion on her beautiful face. She needs to be fed and made to get more rest.
I am so glad Noel was there with me while Stace wa
s at work. His stubbornness was what saved me, because there is no way I could have gotten to the clinic by myself. The doctor said I had several cysts rupture, on top of a very bad case of the flu, which is what is making me so sick. He gave me some medicine to help the nausea and pain. He wants me to see my regular doctor for a more detailed examination as soon as possible. Stacy’s going to call Mom for me to let her know what happened and get the appointment scheduled.
Noel refuses to leave me, and I don’t have the strength to argue with his carrying me to Mallory’s car and my room, still wrapped up in my blanket. I don’t even remember her even being in my room at all. Right now, I just want to sleep, but the shower is calling my name. I don’t even feel human. I’m not sure how Noel can carry me without gagging, considering I can even smell myself.
Mallory insists on following me to the shower in case I need help, while Stacy and Noel change my sheets and fix me some soup. When did we get soup? My body is so sore, that it doesn’t take much to tire me out in the shower. I wash my hair as best as I can before I’m unable raise my arms. Mal helps me with the towels and clean clothes, and carries my things back to the room for me. I’m embarrassed to be rendered so helpless.
As soon as I enter the room, Noel helps me to my bed, and gets me settled under the covers, my back against the headboard. He already has the pain pill and a cup of water for me to take. “Thanks, Noel,” I whisper and stare at him.
Noel looks at me for a moment, then leans forward and kisses my forehead, whispering, “Always.” I close my eyes in order to keep from crying. I’ve missed him telling me that so much.
I take the pill and drink some of the water, and Stacy brings me the little microwaveable cup of chicken noodle soup and a few crackers.