Claiming Xana (Wildcat Graduates Book 2)

by Xana Jordan

“They didn’t have your chicken and stars, so I had to get the noodle one instead,” Noel apologizes. I frown slightly and tilt my head to the side. Noel sees my confusion and says, “I brought it over yesterday when Cade and Stace went out. You were asleep when I got here.” He remembered my soup.

  I eat as much of the soup and crackers as my stomach allowed, and Noel takes what’s left to put them away. I can feel my eyes getting heavy, but try to keep them open as long as I can. I don’t want him to leave, but I can’t ask him to stay anymore. I don’t have that right. He’s done so much for me already, I can’t ask for anything else.

  Cade walks over to my bed and kneels down to look at me. “You really scared us, ya know? You gonna behave, now?” he raises his eyebrow at me, and smiles. I nod slowly, my eyes closing.

  “Good, now quit fighting it and get some rest. I’m gonna take Stace and Mal over to the cafeteria for dinner. If you’re good, maybe I’ll bring back a movie for you to watch, okay?”

  I smile at Cade and look over at Noel. “I’ll be fine. You go eat, too.”

  Noel shakes his head in disagreement as he smiles. “I’m staying. End of.” I close my eyes and lean against the headboard as everyone says goodbye and heads off to the cafeteria. Noel helps me get situated in bed, and grabs the television remote before sitting beside me. He nudges me to lay my head in his lap, and I eagerly do as he wants. He rubs my back as he flips through the channels to see what is on. When he finally lands on The Empire Strikes Back, I remember the time in high school when we watched Star Wars in the park. Gah, that was so long ago.

  Noel looks down to find my eyes staring at him. With a soft voice, he says, “I remember, too,” and he brushes his fingertips across my cheek. Neither one if us want to look away, but I force myself to look at the television. Noel starts rubbing my back again, and we watch Yoda train a doubting Luke Skywalker in silence. I feel so tired, yet comfortable lying there. It isn’t long before my body gives in and I fall asleep.

  The movie is over by the time everyone gets back from the cafeteria. Stacy and Cade snuck me out a hamburger and fries. I wondered why Stacy took her backpack with her. I should have known they’d not let me skip dinner again.

  Xana is still asleep, so I carefully leave her in bed and eat my burger at her desk. Stacy tells me everything the doctor said about what happened. She feels guilty for not taking her to the clinic earlier, but none of us could have guessed Xana’s pain was coming from rupturing cysts. I knew there was more to it than the flu or a simple virus. Xana’s mom was called and will be here in the morning to check on her. She’ll more than likely take her home with her to see the doctor first thing on Monday.

  Xana wakes up a few hours later, and looks a lot better. She isn’t as pale, and is actually a little hungry. Her hair has dried and those natural curls are framing her face the way they should be. I can’t help but smile at her like an idiot.

  It’s almost eight o’clock when Cade and I decide to leave so the girls can get some sleep and have some quiet time. Xana doesn’t look happy that I’m leaving, but I can see that she is still weak from everything she’s been through. It goes against every instinct I have to leave her dorm, but I know she needs space. So, Cade and I tell the girls goodnight, and head back to our dorm.

  Four hours later, Cade and I have goofed around on the Playstation, done a load or two of laundry, and have finally called it a night. I’m lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, when my phone rings with Xana’s ringtone. I never changed it or deleted her number when we broke up, because for me, it wasn’t over.

  I reach for the phone quickly, so as not to wake Cade, and step out into the hall to answer it. “Hey, Sweetness. What’s wrong?” I am worried why she would be calling this late.

  “Hey,” she whispers gently. “I couldn’t sleep, so...I just thought that we...I’m sorry.”

  “No, Xana! Don’t be sorry, and don’t hang up. You just want to talk so you can go back to sleep. Like we used to, right?” I ask, smiling to myself.

  “I know it’s dumb. I’ll just let you go, okay?”

  “No, you won’t. When is your mom coming tomorrow?” I change the subject, knowing that she will forget about trying to hang up on me.

  Xana and I continue to talk about random things until I hear her voice begin to fade out. “You can call me tomorrow if you like, okay?”

  Xana sighs, “Okay.”

  “Goodnight, Sweetness.”

  “Thank you,” she whispers.

  “Always.” I hang up the phone and lean my head against the wall behind me. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get her back.

  The last week and a half has flown by quickly, and tomorrow is our last day before Thanksgiving break. Mom took me to the doctor last week for a checkup, and he ran a lot of tests. I’m supposed to go back Wednesday to go over the results and do a follow up exam. I haven’t had any more problems since that Saturday, and I feel fairly good now.

  Noel and I have started talking again. Nothing much, but it’s gotten easier to be around him. He gives me my space, and it almost feels like it did when the four of us used to hang out, before Noel and I dated. It’s been really nice, not feeling the need to always leave when he’s around.

  Stacy is spending Thanksgiving with her grandparents at her aunt’s house in Houston, so she isn’t leaving until early Wednesday morning. But, Cade, Noel and I are leaving shortly after my last class tomorrow. Noel offered to take me home since Stacy wasn’t going straight back to El Dorado.

  I know a lot of my friends can’t understand why I don’t drive. I can drive just fine, but I simply prefer not to. Being in a severe car accident when I was ten made me very apprehensive about driving on my own. I remember being so afraid when I saw that huge truck heading right for us, and we couldn’t get out of the way in time. It took me a long time to be able to even get in a car without panicking. There are still nights when I wake up in cold sweats because I relived it in my dreams. I can run a quick errand or two for my parents, or drive when really necessary, but having my own car to drive on a consistent basis? All day, every day? I’m just not quite ready yet, but I’m getting there. Thank coconuts I have wonderful friends that take care of me.

  Driving back to home with Noel is not as awkward as I had feared it would be. We talked, laughed, and joked around. We even enjoyed sitting in silence, much like we used to. We talk about our plans for Thanksgiving with our families, and what we had left to do in our classes before finals. I was actually dreading finals this semester. English Comp II and history were enjoyable and stress free, but the math and business classes that are required for my accounting major were going to be the death of me. Don’t get me wrong, I am good at math, and like it, for the most part. But, those analytical type math courses simply numb my brain. I really hate them.

  “Fortunately, I haven’t had too many difficult things to do for my classes, so baseball practice hasn’t interfered with it.” Noel glances at me before returning his concentration to the road ahead.

  “That’s good, I know how you love to play ball,” I say, watching him as he drives.

  “It’s definitely a plus,” he chuckles. “What about your classes? Do you have anything that’s gonna be difficult to finish?”

  How do I answer this? Looking out of my window, I think about all of my classes, and realize the only classes that give me any trouble are the ones for my major. How sad is that?

  “Most of my classes aren’t going to be a problem, come finals. But the classes I need for my major, the business ones, are really eating my lunch,” I admit, reluctantly. I never move my gaze from the window, afraid to see Noel’s reaction.

  “Why are you taking those classes? You shouldn’t really need a lot of those for graphic design, should you?” he asks. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him looking at me, very confused.

  Refusing to look at him, I answer, “That’s not my major. I’m an accounting major.”

  “What are you talking about? You�
��ve wanted to be a graphic designer for years. Why are you doing accounting?” Noel’s voice shows how much he disapproves of my choices. I really don’t want to have this conversation with him right now. In fact, when I think about everything, I’m not happy with me, either.

  “They have a good program, and job placement assistance. Are you still doing Exercise Science?” I ask him, desperate to change the subject.

  “I know what you’re trying to do, Xan. We will talk about this later, but yes, I am still going to follow that plan. I’ve only become more certain of that.”

  We sit in silence for a long time, the tension beginning to creep into the car. I know Noel’s disappointed that I changed my major. He was always encouraging my drawing and sketching. He would even sit and watch me draw, like it was the most entertaining thing he had ever seen. I don’t know how he could sit there and watch something so boring.

  As we get closer to home, Noel breaks the silence. “Your appointment is tomorrow, right?”

  I’m surprised he remembered that. “Yeah, at ten o’clock.” I turn and look at him. The afternoon sunlight shining on his light blond hair makes him even more handsome than he already is. His strong, square jaw gives his face a more rugged look than he had before. He really is something to look at.

  “You’re not having any problems, right? Everything is still good?” Noel looks at me as he stops at the red light on the edge of town. The seriousness on his face makes me hesitate before answering.

  “Yes. No. I mean everything is still good, no problems.” I move my gaze to my hands that are playing with the hem of my sweatshirt. My hair falls down the side of my face, blocking me from Noel’s gaze.

  “Good. You know you can call me tomorrow, if you need to talk, right?” Noel reaches across the console and takes one of my hands in his, giving it a small squeeze. The warmth from his hand sends a tingling sensation up my arm. Unable to trust myself to speak, I merely nod in agreement.

  As I sit in the doctor’s office waiting room, I think back over the last month at school. Jeff and I haven’t talked more than three times. He doesn’t answer my calls, or my texts, and I haven’t seen him since before Homecoming. Even when I was sick last week, he didn’t call to check up on me. Mike even told me he had told Jeff about it, and said Jeff was adamant about calling to check on me. I’ve tried to call him three times this week, to no avail. The restaurant must be very busy.

  My classes are not what I want to take, and I am dreading making out my schedule for next semester. The mere thought of it has me wanting to hide myself away until it’s too late to enroll. Jeff was very insistent that accounting was a much better degree to have in the long run, and my parents seemed to be supportive of the change. I just wish I could see what they see in it.

  And then there’s Noel. I’m so confused about whatever this relationship between us is. He was there to take care of me when I needed him. He continues to surprise me by being the Noel that I remember, because I want that Noel back. He hasn’t tried to push me, or pressure me into anything but friendship, but all of those old feelings are there. I thought they were gone, but I was terribly wrong. I should feel ashamed about those feelings because Jeff is my boyfriend. My boyfriend who no longer acts like a boyfriend. Sometimes I can’t even remember why we started going out to begin with. Why is it so hard to just have a good guy that likes me?

  Before I can think about anything else, the nurse calls my name, and I follow her to the exam room. I’m over eighteen, but I want my mom to be in the room with me as the doctor goes over all of the test results. The nurse leaves the room and brings Mom from the office to sit with me. It only takes a few minutes before Dr. Carter enters the room and starts to go over what he has found.

  Halfway through the doctor’s speil, I tune out. After I hear the words polycystic ovarian syndrome, I stopped listening to every word he said, and let Mom talk to him. When Noel took me to the clinic last weekend and I was told I had several cysts rupture, I searched the internet to find out more information on them. I remembered those three words all too well. Decreased fertility, and the possibility of surgery, if the cysts were large enough, if I ever did get pregnant. At least it explained the pain I had been having over the last year.

  Pregnancy. One thing I haven’t really put much thought into. Did I want children? Yes, I did. Someday. It’s funny how you don’t realize how much you actually want something, until someone tells you that you might not ever be able to have it. Somehow, it makes me feel like a failure. Like there’s just something wrong with me that isn’t worthy to be a complete woman. Deep down, I know it’s not true, but I just can’t seem to get past that feeling.

  By the time my appointment is over, it is time for lunch. Since the doctor’s office is closing early for the holiday, Mom takes me to lunch before we head home. I’m not very hungry as Mom continues to talk about what the doctor had to say. I don’t have much to contribute to the conversation, and end up letting her do most of the talking. Thankfully, she doesn’t notice my plate is only half empty when she is ready to leave the restaurant.

  I haven’t heard anything from Xana about her appointment this morning. I’d like to think that it means everything turned out to be fine, but with how Xana’s been hiding things lately, I can’t be so sure. She was so sick and there was nothing I could do to fix it for her. I’ve never been so scared, or felt so helpless in all of my life. I never want her to go through that again.

  I‘m on my way to Cade’s house when I have to stop at the grocery store to pick up a few things Mom needs for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. If I don’t do it now, I’m sure I’ll forget something when I stop on the way home. Cade and I are helping his dad get their Christmas tree and decorations out of the storage building. Cade will be helping me and Dad on Friday while our moms goes shopping.

  After thirty minutes of dodging hurried customers and searching for the items Mom needs, I am checked out and on my way out of the building. Walking through the automatic doors, I run into Blain as he is entering the store.

  “Hey, Noel. What’s up?” Blain slaps me on the shoulder with one hand, and I shuffle the bags to a more comfortable position.

  “Hey. I’m just picking up a few things for Mom before I head on over to Cade’s house. What are you doing?” I ask as we walk toward my Mustang.

  “The same thing, apparently. Errands for my mom, too,” he laughs as he helps me put the groceries in the trunk of my car.

  “It’s good to be home, right?” I ask as we close the trunk and lean against my car.

  “Always,” he chuckles and shakes his head. “Thanks for taking Xana to the clinic when you did. She would never have taken herself. She’s so determined to not depend upon anyone,” Blain says, crossing his arms.

  “Yeah, she is,” I agree. “But now she has me to make sure that never happens again.” I rest my hands on the trunk of the car, one on either side of my hips.

  “For now, at least.” Blain looks at me, his jaw clenched. I understand his inability to completely trust me.

  “Not just for now. I’m not letting her push me away anymore.”

  “You are, aren’t you?” Blain asks as he turns his body to face mine. “You’re in love with Xana,” Blain states, as if he were giving the answer to a math problem.

  This is the second time he’s said that to me. I’ve thought about it more times than I can count since then. After everything that’s happened with her health, and being near her again, I have a different perspective on my last answer.

  “I think I am. It feels like I am,” I tell him, and look up at the clouds in the sky. Taking a deep breath I continue, “I haven’t thought about any other girls since I met her, whether they’re right beside me or not. I don’t know how to explain it, but she’s like a part of me that I can’t live without, that I don’t want to live without. Can you understand that? If that means that I’m in love with her, then I guess I am.”

  Blain listens to what I have to say, and remains quie
t for far too long for my liking. Standing up away from the car, Blain looks at me and says, “I understand. Xana has that effect on people. She has been my best friend for practically my whole life. At one point I thought I felt more for her, but I was just unsure where we stood with you in the picture. She didn’t need me as much as she did before. I know differently now. I love her just as much as I love my sister, and as far as I’m concerned, I have two sisters.”

  “I also know that the only person to ever truly make her happy, and make her shine, was you. You gave her something that I never could, and she was completely devastated when everything fell apart. Her being with Jeff is a mistake, and I don’t think she realizes it, yet. I’m sure you know that by now.” Blain pauses to look at me, and I nod in agreement.

  “Don’t stay with her if you plan on leaving again when things get complicated. Don’t,” he says, stopping my interruption. “I have to say it, so don’t try and argue about it. If things get bad again, call me and I’ll be there.” Blain and I stand there in silence once again, both letting the conversation settle.

  “Have you heard from her about her appointment?” I ask Blain, staring at my shoes on the pavement.

  “No, and she hasn’t answered my calls, either. I figured she was just busy with her mom, or getting some sleep. She hasn’t called you?” I shake my head no in response, and Blain begins to looks worried.

  “It’ll be fine, I’m sure. But, if she doesn’t call you, let me know and I’ll go check on her in person?” Blain nods and puts his hands in his pockets.

  “I will. See ya later, man,” Blain tells me and walks back into the store do do his own errands. I get into the car, start up the engine, and gather my thoughts while the heater warms the inside. God, how I miss being with her. Talking to her every night before bed. Hearing her laugh, and seeing her smile at me.

  “Has Stacy heard from Xana today?” I ask Cade as we both haul the Christmas tree box into their living room, and place it into the corner his mother cleaned out for it. Cade’s dad, William, or Bill as people call him, heads back out to bring another ornament box.