Claiming Xana (Wildcat Graduates Book 2)

by Xana Jordan

  One of his hands moves down my side and rests on my hip, while the other moves from my face to the back of my neck. His mouth moves to trail kisses along my jaw and down my neck. I tilt my head to the side to give him better access, my own mouth against his neck. Loving the smell of his cologne, I tug on his hair a little more. Noel nips my collarbone with his teeth, then soothes it with a kiss.

  Pulling away from me and brushing the hair away from my face, he says, “I’ve been dying to kiss you for a long time. You’re so beautiful,” Noel tells me quietly. The way he looks me in the eyes makes my breath hitch with its intensity.

  Resting one of my hands on his cheek, I lean forward and kiss his lips again, this time slower, more gentle than our previous kiss. Our mouths move together, each of us taking our time to savor the other. Memories of past kisses fill my mind, reminding me how easy things are between us, then and now. I know in this moment that I still love him. Part of me never stopped, never let him go. I am still upset about everything that happened with Jeff. The way things got so out of hand, and how I was so oblivious to everything that was going on in front of me. Knowing I can’t ignore my feelings any longer, I pull away from Noel’s kiss and look into his eyes.

  Noel’s hand runs up and down my back in a soothing motion as I say, “I’ve missed you kissing me, even when I didn’t know I did.” I run my hand along his strong jaw. “We have a lot to work out. Things to let go, and things to deal with. I have a lot of issues of my own to sort through, but I’d like to try sorting them out with you, if you’ll let me,” I say, suddenly afraid of his rejection.

  Noel stares at me for so long, I’m about ready to leave the car and cut my losses when he finally speaks. “I was hoping you’d say that. I know it will take time, but I’m willing to take as much time as you need to show you that I’m not leaving you this time. That I only want to be with you.” He leans forward and places a tender kiss on my lips before burying his face in the crook of my neck and hugging my body to his.

  I hug him back, my face mirroring the position of his against my neck. It feels so wonderful to have him hold me like that. I haven’t been held with that much emotion in a long time. “I’ve missed this,” I whisper, a tiny bit of me almost wishing he didn’t hear me.

  We sit in his car for a little longer, holding each other and enjoying just being together. I am probably the most relaxed I’ve been in months. It’s funny how I never noticed before that it’s always been that way with him.

  We’ve been sitting there for about ten minutes when he decides it’s time to get me inside. I’ve started yawning, and he comments that he knows that means I’ll be asleep very soon. I wish I didn’t have to leave his embrace, but I know he’s right. I’m exhausted from all the walking they had me do today.

  Noel carries the bags I have from shopping while he walks me to the door. He takes them into the living room for me, and places them on the coffee table. I glance down at the bags and notice he gave me one of his bags my mistake.

  “This bag must be yours. I didn’t get anything from the cupcake store,” I tell him and hand the bag over to him. He refuses to accept the bag from me and simply smiles.

  “It’s your bag. I got you a little surprise.” Noel gives me the smile that tells me he knows how much I don’t want him to spend a dime on me, but he doesn’t care and will do it anyway.

  “I’ll never win one of these arguments, will I, Mr. Daniels?” I place my hands on my hips, knowing for certain that Noel will always have the last say. This causes Noel to laugh, and me to only get more serious about his gift giving.

  “Not as long as I’m alive, you won’t,” he grins back at me, and kisses my forehead. Damn, that gets me every time!

  Mom stands up to thank him for helping her out with her shopping. “You don’t have to thank me, Mrs. Bradford. Xana picked it all out. I just carried them for her,” Noel says as he returns her embrace.

  “Well, you and Cade decided to go and took her with you, so you did help.” Mom ends the argument and takes the bags to the dining room. That only means one thing. Tomorrow, my day will be spent wrapping gifts and making bows.

  “Just say you’re welcome and go along with her. It’s easier that way,” Dad instructs Noel. “No sense in getting her feathers ruffled for nothing.” Dad nods and winks at Noel, then goes back to watching his movie.

  As we walk back to the entryway, Noel laughs, amused at Dad’s explanation of how to ‘deal’ with my mother. “He always cracks me up,” Noel says once his laughter subsides. “He just tells it like it is, doesn’t he?” Noel brings me to his chest and smiles down at me.

  “With Mom, you kinda have to. She’s a woman of many moods. Quick ones, at that,” I tell him before leaning up to kiss his chin. ”You’d do good to remember that,” I advise, causing Noel to grin back at me.

  “I’ll commit it to memory,” he laughs and takes a step away from me. “I’d better go. You need to get some sleep, and I still have a lot to unload for my parents.”

  Noel leans down and briefly kisses my lips before resting his forehead against mine. He seems to be fighting himself over something, and I think I know what it is.

  “I don’t want you to go just yet, either,” I whisper quietly. He stiffens slightly, and begins to slowly pull his head away from mine.

  “What?” I ask, raising my eyes to his.

  “How did you know that I was thinking that very thing?” His puzzled expression makes me smile.

  Turning his own words against him, I reply, “I know you.” A small smile forms at the corners of my mouth.

  Noel inhales deeply, and crushes his mouth to mine, holding my hips harder than before. I can feel everything he is trying to show me in that kiss. I’m cherished. I’m adored. I’m respected. I’m his.

  Noel pulls away, breaking the kiss all too soon for my liking, and runs his fingertips across my cheeks. Kissing my forehead, he gruffly, yet quietly, speaks into my ear.

  “Goodnight, Sweetness.”

  He walks through the door, out to his car, and leaves me standing in the doorway to watch him leave the neighborhood. That man has more power over me than he will ever realize.

  I spend about an hour talking with Mom and Dad before heading to my room to get ready for bed. I’m exhausted, like I have been lately, but this time from having a good, fun-filled day. That’s such a nice feeling.

  After showering and taking some ibuprofen, I’m lying in bed watching a little television before going to sleep. I was hoping it would help keep me from thinking about Noel and my feelings for him, but it isn’t working. My thoughts are consumed by him.

  I’ve thought about our previous relationship in high school. I’ve dissected our mistakes and analyzed my relationship with Jeff, in comparison to the one I had with Noel. The only thing this has done is made me realize that what Jeff and I had was really just friendship. At least, for me, it was that way. I’m not so sure what it was for him, considering his recent behavior. He has changed so much from the Jeff I first met. I don’t quite understand what has happened.

  Unable to concentrate any longer on the movie I picked out, I pick up the phone and contemplate calling Noel. Part of me feels like we could simply go back to how things were when we were together. On the other hand, part of me is afraid there has just been too much that had transpired, then and now, to ever get back together.

  I stare at the phone, turning it on and off many times, before I finally give in and dial Noel’s number.

  As soon as I arrive back at my house, Dad and I get everything I bought on my shopping trip out of the car and into Mom’s office/work room. My grandparents are already in bed, or I’m sure Gramps would be down here helping us unload the car. She already has several stacks of presents wrapped and correctly labeled, only needing to be placed under the tree. If I hadn’t made a comment about the number of presents she has stacked up, I wouldn’t be placing them under the tree at this moment. It’s almost eleven o’clock, and I’m ready to show
er and go to bed at this point.

  “How was your trip, son?” Dad asks as we place the final bags in the room. “I hope everything went okay.” Dad sets the last bag down and looks at me.

  “She was fine. I think today did her some good,” I tell him. Remembering her laughing at Michelle’s lunch comments makes me smile.

  “I wasn’t asking about Xana, but it looks like the trip did you some good, too, Noel.” Dad smirks at the expression on my face.

  “What? I had a great time with my friends, I won’t deny it. I always do with them.” I know what he’s implying, but I’m not going to admit it willingly.

  Dad smiles even more before he says, “Cade and Michelle had nothing to do with the smile on your face the past few days. I haven’t seen that look since a certain little redhead came into the picture in high school.” He stares right at me, daring me to deny what he’s just said. It’s true, but without knowing just where we stand at the moment, I’m not sure I want to get ahead of myself and pretend like things are completely fine.

  “Xana and I are friends, Dad. She just broke up with Jeff, and we haven’t gotten back together, so don’t see something that’s not there,” I reply, hoping to end this conversation for the time being.

  Dad laughs so hard I think he’s lost his mind. Once he’s caught his breath, he says, “You’re funny if you think your mom and I can’t see the way the two of you look at each other. We saw it back then, and we definitely see it now,” Dad pauses, his face losing some of the amusement it just had. “You love her.” He simply looks at me, certainty in his expression.

  “Maybe.”

  “We’re not blind, Noel. We know you do. Yes, your mom and I think you two are a little young to be that serious about each other, but we’ve seen how you are together. We can easily see that this isn’t some crush or passing infatuation. You’ve always had a steady head on your shoulders, and Xana only brings that out in you even more. She’s good for you, and you really are good for her.” Dad finishes and waits for me to say something, but I’m still trying to absorb what I just heard. Since it’s taking longer than he expected for me to respond, he continues talking.

  “You know that Mom and I love Xana. We can see how much she loves you. Noel, it’s written on her face every time she’s with you. She called you when she was sick, and you high-tailed it out of here so fast we could barely understand what was going on. That doesn’t happen if you are simply exes who are friends.”

  Dad and I stare at each other for a few minutes, both waiting for the other to respond. I can always talk to my dad about anything, and he never judges me, but this seems so...serious. On one hand, I want to shout out loud that Xana is mine, but then I only want it to be between us, and not have others interfering.

  “I do. I love her, Dad. I know I shouldn’t think like that right now, but I do. The past year just wasn’t right without her,” I pause and look at the floor, focusing my thoughts. “And I don’t want to mess it up again,” I confess quietly. It’s actually a relief to say that out loud to him.

  Dad places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes firmly. I look up to find him smiling sympathetically at me. “Your mom and I fell in love in high school, but we waited until after college before we got married. It didn’t matter how long we waited to make it more ‘acceptable’. We knew it then, and time didn’t change how we felt about each other. Sometimes you just know. We just want you to know that you don’t have to hide it from us. All we ask is that you and Xana take the time now to work everything out and start with clean slates. We just want the two of you to be happy.” Dad raises his eyebrows at me, looking me straight in the eyes.

  “He’s right, Noel. We’re behind you in whatever happens with you and Xana. We love you both,” Mom says smiling from the doorway, her shoulder leaning against its frame.

  “Thanks, Mom. Dad. I don’t know what to say,” I tell them honestly. I know my parents have always supported me in anything I’ve ever done, whether they approved or not, but to have them lay it all out like this really makes me love them more.

  “You don’t have to say anything, honey. Now, go on up and get some sleep. I have several errands for you to do tomorrow while I’m at work,” Mom says as she hugs me and kisses my cheek. “We love you.”

  Hugging her and Dad, I tell them, “I love you, too,” and head upstairs to my room, thankful I have the parents I do.

  It doesn’t take long for Noel to answer after I hit send on my phone.

  “Hey,” is all I can say when he answers the phone.

  “Hey, to you, too,” he tells me, his voice low and a little scratchy. My stomach flips just hearing him talk to me.

  I’m unable to respond, so Noel begins our conversation. “I thought you’d be asleep by now.”

  “I tried, but my mind was too busy thinking.” I mute the television and stare at my comforter, tracing the dandelion patterns on it with my finger.

  “Thinking about what? You should be too tired to think,” he laughs.

  “You. Us. Stuff,” I whisper, only partially wanting him to hear what I said.

  “What about us, Xan?” he questions, his voice losing the teasing tone he had only moments ago.

  I unknowingly hold my breath as I try to figure out what to say to him. I really wish I hadn’t called him now. How can I tell him what’s going on in my head, when I can’t even explain it to myself?

  “Come on, Sweetness. Talk to me.” Sighing, I release the breath I was holding and give in to his request.

  “I’ve thought a lot about what you said when I had to go to the hospital. About how everything got messed up before.” I pause, gathering up courage to continue.

  “Okay,” Noel says, encouraging me to continue talking.

  “I’ve thought about my relationship with Jeff,” I stop when I swear I hear him growl over the phone. Pretending that isn’t what I actually heard, I continue before I chicken out.

  “Yes, we liked each other and had fun doing things together, but I really don’t think I feel as strongly for him as he does me. At least what he used to feel for me. I led him on, and it’s my fault he’s gotten so angry...” Noel interrupts before I finish my sentence.

  “Don’t you ever take the blame for him being an angry asshole! That’s never on you. He controls his own actions,” Noel nearly shouts at me. “Do you understand that, Xana?”

  I try to control my breathing before answering him. “I know that, but it’s hard not to feel like I was stringing him along, letting him think we were more than friends. I never could do the things he wanted from me, even though I thought I wanted them, too.”

  Noel takes a deep breath and says, “What are you getting at, Xana? Did he hurt you?” he asks, anger slipping into his words.

  “No. He just...After a while he wanted us to be...together, and I never could give him that. It didn’t feel right. I guess that’s why he found it elsewhere.” My voice is soft and I’m trying to hold back tears by the time I stop speaking.

  “You mean that you two never...” he asks.

  “No. Never.”

  “Why,” he asks, and I look up at my ceiling and pray my bed swallows me whole so I can avoid the rest of this conversation.

  “Because...I’ve finally realized it was because he wasn’t you,” I reply, barely loud enough to hear myself. I’m more than embarrassed to admit that to him, but I never could keep things from Noel.

  Noel’s silence makes me wonder if he even heard my confession, or if I laid it all out there and it means nothing to him.

  “I know I have no right after I was such a jerk before, but I’m very glad to hear that. You were always the one for me, too, Xan. The only one.”

  We both sit in silence as we absorb everything that has been said. Knowing that I don’t have to worry about him being with anyone else makes me happier than I thought it would. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can breathe again.

  Noel interrupts my thoughts when he asks, “In
your mind, where does this put us? I love you, and I never stopped. As far as I am concerned, you’re mine, and I’m yours. You own me, Xana.”

  Hearing those words takes me back to the conversation we had when we made our relationship official the first time.

  Hesitantly I walk down the hall and to the living room where I find Noel sitting on the couch. My stomach is in knots, as usual when Noel is involved, and my heart has started to race. I stop just inside the living room and Noel stands up when he sees me.

  “Hey, Xana.” Noel smiles at me, and I almost forget why I’m not ready to see him.

  “Hi,” I reply, holding my hands in front of my stomach. “Why did you come over here? I thought we would see each other tomorrow?”

  “I know that’s what you wanted, but you hung up on me before I could say anything. I really need to talk to you.” Noel takes a few steps toward me and I take a step back.

  “I can’t really talk right now. I’ve got to help Mom with dinner, and then I have to finish up studying.” I can’t look him in the eye. I know I’ll never be able to keep lying to him.

  “It won’t take that long, Xan. Besides, your mom told me she didn’t need you to help her right now.” Noel walks toward me and grabs my hands. “Go for a ride with me? I won’t keep you out too long. You’ll have time to get all of your work done. I promise.” Noel lifts a hand to my chin and raises it to look at him. “Please?” Those eyes. They are so green and beautiful, begging me to go with him. He’s so close to me I can smell his cologne. The combination of the two might very well be my kryptonite.

  “I don’t know, Noel. I really have a lot of homework to do,” I say with shaky breath. I don’t even sound convincing to myself. Noel raises his eyebrow at me, and turns toward the door, pulling me behind him.

  “Noel,” I start to protest, but Noel cuts me off when he looks over his shoulder.

  “Don’t. We’re going for a ride, Xana. I’m not waiting anymore.” Noel starts to open the front door when I stop him.