by Xana Jordan
“We just have mandatory study hall tonight from six thirty to eight thirty.” I stand as our friends tells us goodbye and Cade tells me he’ll meet me in study hall, as Stacy pulls him toward the exit. I pick up our trays and Xana grabs her bag and pushes in our chairs. Kissing her cheek, I make my way over to the other side of the cafeteria and put away our dishes.
Xana meets me by the exit doors and I take her hand in mine as we leave the building. It’s a little colder outside than it was an hour ago when we came to eat. Dropping her hand from mine, she pulls her sweatshirt hood over her head and wraps her arm around my waist. I pull her closer to my side and she rests her head on my shoulder as we walk back to her dorm. We don’t need any words as we walk together. I love that about her.
After I’m all checked in, I text Cade while Xan goes to the bathroom.
ME: Can you bring my math and Lit books to SH?
CADE: Sure. What’s up?
ME: Need to talk to X.
CADE: K.
Xana comes back to the room and pulls her wild hair into a messy, half ponytail, half bun. I’m so glad she stopped straightening it. I had no problem telling her that she should fix her hair the way she wanted, and not how some idiot told her. That she was beautiful just the way she is. It killed me to see her reaction. It showed me just how poorly Jeff had talked to her in those last few months they were together. Asshole.
She sees me sitting on the side of her bed, feet flat on the floor and elbows resting on my knees. My hands are clasped together and I can see the frown form on her face when she sees them.
“Noel,” she says questioningly. I open my arms to her and she walks over to stand between my legs. I sit her across my lap, holding her close against my chest, and she wraps her arms around my neck. “What is it? You’re making me nervous,” she says, running her fingers through the hair on the nape of my neck.
I take a deep breath before I ask, “Why are you and Stacy going to El Dorado so early tomorrow? You never leave that early.” She looks down at her lap and picks non-existent lint from her sweatshirt.
“I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow,” she says quietly. Oh, crap.
“I don’t remember you telling me when it was. Did I forget?” I ask, but I already know the answer.
“I knew you had ball stuff going on and I didn’t want to worry you about it while you were practicing and have you messing up because of me.”
“When were you going to tell me?” I hate having her think she’s not as important as baseball. It’s just a sport. She’s mine.
She sighs and closes her eyes. “I was going to tell you tomorrow, or maybe when we got back here.” Xana lowers her head more and her body slumps in my hold. She knows I’m not happy with that answer.
“You can’t go on keeping this stuff from me. If it concerns you, it concerns me.” I reach over and hold the necklace I gave her for New Year’s Eve in my hand.
“Do you understand what this necklace means, Xana?” She opens her eyes to look at the pendant, then at me. Not waiting for her to answer, I continue.
“It means that you are it for me, and whatever you go through, I go through it with you. I carry you when you can’t walk on your own, baby. Just like you do for me. There is only us from now on. We talk, remember?” I ask, holding her chin with my fingers so she can see the truth in my words and not look away from me.
Her eyes search mine for what seems like hours, but is in reality only a few minutes, before she says anything.
“Everything?” She looks unsure, as if she can’t believe I actually mean what I’m saying.
Leaning forward until our lips nearly touch, my eyes never leaving hers, I whisper against her lips, “Always,” before taking her mouth with mine and showing her exactly how much I mean what I say.
Finishing our kiss I stand, taking Xana with me, and kiss her on the forehead. “I have to go.” I kiss her nose. “Want to come to my room after I get out and watch some television or something?” I ask, moving her along with me to the door and opening it. She grabs her keys along the way and we leave for the lobby.
“Yeah, I have a test to study for while you’re gone and will need a break by then.”
“Good, I’ll swing by and get you on my way back from study hall. And no, you’re not meeting me there because it will be too dark for you to walk there alone. Bring your books if you want to study some more before I walk you back.”
We’ve reached the lobby and she checks me out, giving me back my ID. Xana walks me out to the front steps, but I won’t let her go further because it’s gotten very cold out and has a damp feeling. I don’t want her getting sick.
“Okay, text me and I’ll meet you down in the lobby.” She steps away from me and turns me around. “Go on, before I make you late. I can’t have you getting in trouble yet,” she grins and I smile back at her before heading toward the athletic building.
I look over my shoulder before crossing the street to see her watching me through the lobby window. Skipping study hall has never been more tempting than it is right now.
Watching Noel walk across the street made me wish I had study hall, too. No longer able to see him, I head back to my room and get ready to study. Stacy texts me on my way down the hall to let me know she had volunteered to work until closing to cover for someone who called in sick. I texted her back to say I’d probably be over at Noel’s after study hall if she got off early.
The floor is actually fairly quiet right now with most people still out and about around campus or at the cafeteria, so I easily get a good start on studying. I’ve finished the study outline and made review cards by seven thirty, just in time to answer a call from Blain.
“Hey, Shortcake! How’s it going in Mulerider territory?” he asks, humor in his voice. “Ridden one yet?” Blain jokes, making me laugh out loud.
“Uhm, no, but I have ridden a Mustang. Multiple times,” I giggle in reply, unable to resist messing with him.
“God, I hope you are talking about riding in Noel’s car. Otherwise, tmi, Shortcake,” Blain groans and I laugh more.
“I’ll never tell,” I tease.
“Thank heaven for small miracles. I don’t ever want to know. Ever.” Blain laughs and continues. “So, what’s really going on down there? How are things with you and Daniels?”
Leaning back on my bed, I cross my legs out in front of me. “School is school, as usual. Classes are starting to get more intense, and I’m trying to keep up with them. It seems like I’m studying all the time.”
“You didn’t change your major, did you? What does Noel say about that?” Blain shuffles the phone, and I can hear the disapproval in his voice.
“No, I didn’t I already had my schedule figured out before school was out, and I honestly didn’t have the mental capacity I needed to start all over on it, so I just left it.” I sigh, knowing it’s really no excuse.
“I can understand that, with all that you had going on over break, but you can’t keep it up if you’re really not wanting to have that as your career. Promise me you’ll get out before it gets to be too much. You don’t need to waste your time on it if you don’t like what you’re doing.”
“I promise. I’ll just make it through this semester and get everything sorted out over the summer,” I say to placate him and end the conversation. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
“If you say so. When are you going home next?” he asks, accepting the previous conversation was finished. It’s as if he knew I was going home this weekend. He always manages to call right when I have a trip planned.
“How do you do that? I’m going tomorrow for an appointment,” my voice dropping off on the last few words.
“I guess my Shortcake-sense was tingling,” he jokes before getting serious. “You know things will be fine, right? Even if it’s not what you want to hear, everything will end up alright.” Blain stays silent as he lets me absorb his words. After a moment, he interrupts the silence to add, “You know that it won
’t matter to him what the doctor says. It won’t affect how Noel feels about you. You do realize that, don’t you?”
I think about all of the things that have happened so far and realize he’s right. Noel has never once let my PCOS change the way he treats me. If anything, he only treats me better because of it. There isn’t any pity or coddling with him. I love that. I need it. Coming to the realization that Noel will be there with me, no matter what, enables me to breathe a little easier.
“I know. I really do. I’m still scared though. Even if the all-seeing Blain says so,” I laugh, trying to lighten up the mood this line of conversation has taken.
Blain laughs loudly at that, and instantly our conversation goes back to the sibling-like banter we always have. We catch up on school and family stuff, and before I know it, thirty minutes has passed.
“Ugh, I just saw the time. I’d better let you go so I can study some more for this economics test. It’s going to kill me if I don’t get better prepared for it.” I sigh and look over toward the books and notes lying on the foot of my bed.
“You know you should just drop that major and you wouldn’t have that problem,” he scolds me, and I wince, knowing he’s right. It’s a solid major and career, but it’s just not who I am.
“I know, but I hate to let it beat me.”
“It can only beat you if it’s really what you want. You can do anything you want to do. You know that.”
“When did you get so wise?” I ask, laughing a little.
“Ah, little one. I’ve always been wise. You just never listened to me,” he replies, and laughs so hard I can’t help but laugh along with him.
“Whatever. I’ll talk to you later, Bane.” We both laugh at my nickname for him. Bane of my existence. Lame, I know, but it came out one time he made me mad when we were kids, and has stuck ever since.
“Later, Shortcake. Remember what I said.”
“Okay. Later,” I say and end the call, Economics calling my name once again.
Noel and I are walking into his room when Cade passes us on his way out. “Hey, Xan,” he says before giving me a bear hug. “You finally decided to take a break from studying,” he teases, pulling away from our hug.
“Hey,” I scold him. “I don’t study that much.” I slap Cade across his chest, but miss as he ducks through the doorway.
“Yeah, okay. You don’t study much at all.” Cade laughs and walks down the hall to the lobby.
“Where is he going?” I move across the room and set my book bag down on Cade’s desk.
“He’s hanging out with some of the guys from ball for a while tonight. They’re going out to the lake, I think,” he says and pulls me down into his lap, my legs straddling him as he sits in his desk chair.
His arms cradle me to his chest, one arm sliding up under my hair to grasp the back of my neck. I place my hands on his shoulders and look at his beautiful green eyes. Leaning forward, I leave a quick kiss on his soft lips.
“How was study hall?” I inquire, leaning away after our kiss.
“Good, got almost everything done I needed to do.” He smiles and slides the hand on my neck over to run his thumb across my cheek.
“Almost everything? Do you need to study more?” I ask, puzzled at the odd look he now has on his face. Noel runs his thumb across my lips and follows it with his tongue as he takes my mouth in a gentle kiss.
Pulling away from my mouth, ever so slightly, he says, “I haven’t gotten to finish kissing you today.” Well, alrighty then.
My breath catches as my lips are once again under Noel’s possession. The kiss begins slowly, both of us taking our time with each other. His kisses are always like mouth sex. His hand holds my face, as the other hand finds its place under my shirt. He kisses his way down my neck, making it hard for me to breathe.
“Noel,” I manage to whisper before his lips are on mine again, and his hands move to undo the clasp of my bra. Once undone, his hands smooth up and down my back, and my fingers thread themselves into his hair to hold his mouth to mine.
Noel stands, one hand under my bottom, and one curled around my back. I lock my feet behind his waist, holding on lightly as he moves us to his bed by the door. He places one knee on the bed and slowly lowers me onto it, never releasing me from his hold.
My hands find their way around his waist to his back, and underneath his black thermal shirt. His warm, muscled back ripples as he shifts his body over mine, leaning more into our kiss. Noel moves one of his hands from my back, sliding across my side and up my stomach, only to take my breast from the bra cup and squeeze firmly. I can’t help the moan that escapes from me, and I begin to move his shirt up his back, needing it off him badly.
“I’ve missed this,” he breathes as he places wet kisses along my throat and neck. I squeeze my legs tighter around his waist and move my hips up to his.
“I want you,” he says and pulls away just enough to look at my face. “Tell me what you want, Xana. Do you want us to stop?” I caress his cheek with my fingertips and smile back at him.
“No, I don’t want us to stop.” I leave a quick kiss on his chin and say, “We need this.”
He looks into my eyes, to reassure himself I’m being honest before doing anything. Seeming to accept I want him just as much, he sits up to remove his shirt, and I shimmy out of my sweatshirt and already loosened bra. He takes them from me and tosses them on the floor alongside his own. My hands move down his hard chest to the waistband of his jeans, beginning to unfasten and remove them. Noel soon takes over and stands to remove them on his own, while I wiggle out of mine. When we are done, both of us, wearing only our underwear, stare at each other in heated silence.
“Gah, you’re even more beautiful than ever,” he says, his voice lower and more unsteady than I’ve ever heard, as he lays beside me.
Noel moves the hair from my face and pushes it behind my ears. I miss his body on mine, so I spread my fingers in his hair and pull him to me until he is lying over me, his arms on either side of my head supporting his weight and those long, toned legs of his intertwined in mine.
We are a tangled mess of legs and arms and hands, as we explore each other slowly, and let our bodies and mouths become reacquainted with one another. His touch ignites something in me that I haven’t felt in a very long time. I need him. Need him to breathe; to feel; to live.
I have no idea how long we get lost in each other, but I have reached a point where I am no longer satisfied with just kissing and feeling him. I need him completely. “Noel, please,” I beg, unable to say anything else. His mouth on my breast is making it hard to think clearly.
Noel moves to the other breast, paying it equal attention, all the while moving his free hand down my stomach to the place I need him the most.
“Oh, you’re so wet. Your panties are soaked and they need to go now,” he growls as he yanks them down my legs and I raise my hips to quicken the process. Hearing him talk that way drives me on and I use my feet to remove his boxers from him.
Noel runs his shaft along my very wet center and shivers run through both of us. The sensation of his skin on mine feels so amazing I can barely breathe.
“Shit,” he curses as he stills and closes his eyes, a pained expression on his face. Did he change his mind? Does he think I’m not going to be good enough this time?
Suddenly embarrassed, I turn away from him and look at the wall. Noel quickly turns my head back toward him.
“Condom,” is all he says as he stares at me, his breathing irregular. Relief floods my body and I relax against the sheets.
“I haven’t gotten any since we’ve been back together. I wasn’t sure when we’d need them,” he tells me, apologizing for lack of preparation.
“Don’t,” I tell him, placing my fingers on his lips. “I’m still on the pill and I’ve never…” I can’t finish the sentence, but it is unnecessary. He already knows.
“Are you sure? We can wait.” Noel places his mouth to mine and kisses me sweetly.
“Please,” I whisper breathily against his delicious mouth.
He takes ownership of my mouth as he slowly enters me with no resistance. I’m so turned on and ready for him, my body readily accepts him home. Our bodies begin to move as one while he makes love to my mouth. Feeling him inside me with nothing between us awakens sensations deep in my core that I’ve never quite felt before.
I feel myself groan in pleasure as each stroke he takes reaches a new, highly sensitive part of me. As his pace begins to increase, I wrap my arms and legs around him tightly, trying to pull us closer together until we are one person. My nails dig into the muscles of his back, and I use my heels as leverage to meet his thrusts with my hips.
Noel shifts back on his knees, just a little, to take my breast in his mouth and suck hard on my nipple. His other hand moves to the other breast and tugs at my nipple until I can feel my body contract around his shaft.
“Oh, yes. I can feel you squeezing me so, so hard, baby.” Noel groans and speeds up his pace more, his body slapping against mine. “Don’t fight it, Xana. Feel it.” My moans become more consistent, and I am so close to falling over the edge that Noel never fails to bring me to. Before my hands leave his back to roughly grab onto his ha to pull his mouth back to mine, he moans, “So good. You feel...so close.”
I can barely think or speak as Noel seems to lose what little control he has and moves inside of me with everything he has. I call out his name on a strangled breath as I fall over the edge. My body convulses around him harder than ever before.
Noel soon follows me, reaching his orgasm as I continue to spasm around his shaft. He says my name on a final thrust inside of me. Falling against me in exhaustion, he manages to shift enough to the side to keep from crushing me with his weight.
After our breathing slows to a steady pace, Noel rolls to his back, pulling me with him to lay on his chest. With one arm wrapped around my waist, he takes the bunched up comforter against the wall and pulls it to cover the main parts of our bodies. I lay my head on my hand just under his head and close my eyes.