by Xana Jordan
Noel pushes my hair away to run down my back and kisses my hair. I raise my head and prop my chin on my hand upon his chest. He tilts his face down to mine and I smile at him, my eyes locked on his.
“I do, ya know,” I say quietly. Noel frowns, and cocks his head to the side to look at me better.
“Do what, baby?”
Taking a deep breath, I exhale and say, “Love you.” I pause to watch the reaction in his face. Reaching out to hold his face in my hand, I whisper, “I love you, Noel Daniels. I never stopped.”
Tears begin to form in my eyes as Noel smiles and slides me up his body enough that he can kiss me. His hands hold my head as he rolls us to his side, his leg finding its way between mine. He pulls away from my mouth and smiles the most gentle smile I’ve ever seen from him.
“I love you, too, Xana Bradford,” he breathes and licks my lips. “Always.”
We let our hands and mouths do the talking for a while longer before I start yawning.
“It’s not quite ten, yet. Close your eyes and take a nap, Sweetness.” Noel pulls my chest to his and pulls his arm under my head so that it rests in the crook of his shoulder. I place my hands against his chest and close my eyes as he holds me snugly. I can feel his heartbeat against my hands, and it lulls me to sleep with its slow, steady rhythm.
Xana is sleeping quietly in my arms, and I can’t stop looking at her. Her breath fans out across my chest and makes me want her again. I was afraid it was too soon for us to be this intimate, but she was right. We needed this, to be with each other without worries and fears getting in our way.
I reach across her, grab my phone from my desk, and set the alarm for eleven, in case I fall asleep, too. It wouldn’t be hard to do. Having her here with me like this after so long apart is something I don’t want to be without again.
Unable to go to sleep, I ease out from the bed and pull the covers over Xana. Slipping my boxers and jeans on, I pick up the rest of our clothes off the floor and lay them across the back of Cade’s desk chair. He won’t be back until midnight, our curfew for ball, so I don’t have to worry about her being naked in my bed. Maybe I can convince her to stay the night.
I’m just coming back from the bathroom when Xana wakes up. She sits up, holding the sheet over her body, and smiles at me.
“Hey, Handsome,” she says as I walk over and lean down to give her a kiss.
“Hey, Beautiful. Sleep good?” I stand up and give her the clothes from the chair. “You need something to drink?”
“Thanks. Wouldn’t have a Pepsi in there, would you?” Xana stands up to put her silky blue panties and jeans on, and I place a bottle of her beloved drink on my desk, getting an enormous smile in return.
“I always keep it around.” I smile and sit on the chair and pull her between my legs.
She looks down at me and runs her fingers through my hair. She really loves to do that. My arms around her waist, I tuck my hands into her back pockets.
“It’s only ten thirty. Do you need to study more or do you want to watch something?” I ask. She leans her head to the side, thinking about what she should do and continues to weave her fingers in and out of my hair.
“Stay with me tonight?” I ask, causing her hands to still on my head.
“Noel,” she begins, but I cut her off.
“We can finish studying tonight, and leave early enough in the morning that no one will know you’re here. You can go back to your dorm to get ready for class, and we can meet for breakfast, like we always do.” I am not above begging, if necessary.
I pull her down to sit sideways on my lap so that we are eye to eye. Resting my chin on her shoulder, I take the opportunity to breathe in her wonderful scent. Coconuts, perfume, and me. I love that smell.
“What about Cade? Won’t I be in the way?” she asks, playing with the cuffs of her sweatshirt.
“Have you forgotten how many times Stace has spent the night over here?” I laugh back at her. “Cade couldn’t care less if you stay or not. It’s not like we do anything you shouldn’t know about.” The bright shade of pink taking over her face only makes me smile wider at her.
“I don’t want to think about what Cade may, or may not, do.” Xana closes her eyes and shakes her head, her body shivering at the images her mind conjures.
I move my face to her ear and whisper, “Stay,” before kissing her just below her earlobe.
“Okay.” She licks my nose and hops off my lap, surprising me. “Want to quiz me over the study guide?” Xana wiggles her eyebrows up and down at me.
Laughing, I tell her, “Sure. Anything you want me to do.”
She digs her study guide and note cards out of her bag, and hands them to me, then makes herself comfortable on my bed, leaning against the wall. We go over her notes and study questions three times before it is time to check her out of the dorm for curfew. We leave her things on my desk, and walk to the lobby to get her ID back. On the way down the hall, we run into Cade heading to our room. He lets me know that he got the text we sent him and everything was clear, then continues on down the hallway.
After checking Xana out, I walk her around to our side of the dorm and watch her climb through our open window where Cade has turned our lights off to hide her sneaking inside. Once she is inside, I walk the long way around the building before heading back to my room. Living on the bottom floor in a corner room sure has its benefits.
When I return to the room, Cade is gathering up his toiletries so he can shower off the sand from the lake, and Xana is propped up on my pillows watching television. She smiles at me as soon as I close the door.
“Hey, man. Have fun at the lake?” I walk over to the bed and sit beside Xana.
“I’ve got to shower this sand off me. The wind was blowing just enough to get it all in my face and hair. I may even have it in my teeth,” he grimaces in disgust. We can see him running his tongue over his teeth as he shakes his head and leaves the room, making Xana laugh.
“Do you need to wash your face before we go to sleep?” Xana nods and I walk over to the sink area and get her a washcloth and the facial cleanser Stacy leaves here.
While she is washing her makeup off and brushing her teeth, with my toothbrush, I dig through my drawer and find her a pair of drawstring gym shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt to wear to sleep in.
Xana has washed up and changed clothes, and I am brushing my teeth when Cade gets back to the room. The events of this week have finally caught up to me, and I want nothing more than to crawl into my bed, wrap my arms around my woman, and go to sleep.
Cade is putting his towel and clothes away when I notice Xana has fallen asleep. Laughing to myself, I hand the remote out for Cade and say, “Do you want the television? We’re done for the night.”
“Nah, you can turn it off. I’m going straight to bed, too.” Cade checks his alarm and gets in bed after turning the overhead sink light out. Clicking the television off and putting the remote away, I turn the main light out and double check that the door is locked before climbing in bed. Even in her sleep, Xana knows I’m there and moves over to make room for me. She curls her body into mine and sighs softly. Damn, how I love that sound.
Feeling her warm breath on my neck, I close my eyes and let sleep take me away.
Having Xana in bed beside me when I woke up this morning was as close to perfect as it could get right now. I could wake up every day like this and never grow tired of it. My alarm woke me up, but Xana begged for ten more minutes of sleep with such pouty lips I couldn’t deny her.
My morning classes were good and time felt like it flew by. Xana texted me when she got out early from her last class to tell me she was going on over to the cafeteria and would meet me there. She seemed to be in a good mood and even ended her text with a few silly emojis.
Just getting out of my last class, I hurriedly make my way over to the dining hall, not wanting to waste any time I have with her before she leaves for El Dorado. I know she’s scared about her test results,
but I know in my gut everything will work out, regardless of what they say. I just hope she leans on me if they aren’t what she hopes for.
I seem to be the last one at the table when I place my tray beside Xana’s. She leans over to give me a kiss after I sit down. I notice she hasn’t eaten much on her plate, and she sees the frown on my face.
“I was waiting for you,” she tells me and I smile down at her.
The conversation around the table is light and varied as everyone enjoys the break from classes. Cade, Gavin, and Dillon are talking about their trip to the lake last night.
“Only you could get coated in sand from a night at the lake without even camping,” Stacy laughs at Cade.
“It wasn’t that hard,” Dillon shoots back. “The wind had an easy time stirring up the loose sand where we were parked.”
“Don’t tell me the tiny, mean fairies got to your crevices, too,” Stacy teases him, causing Cade to roll his eyes and shake his head in exasperation.
I can’t help it. I, right along with Xana and Mallory, laugh at the frustrated look on Dillon’s face.
“Oh, sweet coconuts, Stace! That’s hilarious,” Xana spits out amidst her laughter. “Stop picking on the new guy. You’re making my sides hurt.” Xana continues to laugh and pats Dillon on the shoulder.
She turns to him and says, “Awe, don’t let her get to you. It just means she likes you.” Dillon doesn’t look very reassured and we just shrug it all away.
“Don’t look at me. She belongs to him,” I inform him and point at Cade, who only shrugs and smiles. Stacy flashes Dillon a smug smile and winks at him before getting her tray ready to put on the return conveyor belt.
“You ready, Sweets? We need to leave soon so I can put gas in the car.” Stacy stands and waits for an answer.
“Yeah, I’m done. There’s nothing Ieft of this grilled chicken salad that I want to eat.” Xana responds and I put our trays and used napkins together and stand up.
“I’ll walk you two over to your dorm.” I nod at Cade who returns my nod, telling me he knows that I’m keeping them both safe. He’s just as protective over them as I am.
As we cross the street to their dorm’s outdoor sitting area , I ask, “Do either of you need me to help load your bags into the car?”
“No. We carried them on our way out to class this morning,” Stacy says as I open the door for them.
“We didn’t have much since we have stuff at home. I’m not even dropping off my book bag, so I’m ready to go,” Xan tells me as we stand in the lobby.
“I do have to drop off my books and grab my purse, though. I’ll be right back.” Stacy makes her way out of the lobby while Xana and I sit down on one of the small couches in the game and entertainment area.
I pull Xana into my lap and wrap my arms around her. “Text me when your appointment is over. I’ll call you after dinner when we can have more time to talk, okay?” I place my forehead to hers and run my hand down her long, curly hair.
“Okay,” she agrees. “I’m sure Stacy will drag me around town with her until my parents get home, anyway.” She rubs her nose along mine while she plays with the top buttons of my flannel shirt.
“Remember, together,” I tell her as Stacy walks over to us.
“Let’s roll, Thelma! Louise is ready to ride!” Stacy grabs Xana’s hands and pulls her off my lap. I follow them out to the edge of the parking lot where Stacy’s car is parked.
Pulling Xana to me in order to steal a kiss, I tell them both to be careful and text me or Cade when they get to El Dorado, so we know they made it alright. They’re predicting possible sleet and snow later this afternoon and I’d hate for them to get caught in it. By the look of the sky right now, it could begin sooner than they expect.
Giving one her last kiss, I help her into the car and watch them leave campus before I head to my dorm to switch out my books for my last classes of the day. Looking at the weather one last time, I decide to go ahead and drive across campus to my last classes instead of walking. I don’t want to even think about testing my luck today.
I’m still in class when Xana texts me, saying her appointment was over. She tells me that she is alright, so I figure I will go ahead and get what little homework and studying I have out of the way so I can have the rest of the weekend free after practice tomorrow. The weather is too nasty right now to really get out and do anything fun, anyway.
After practice is over, Cade and I decide to order takeout for dinner and we’re over in Gavin’s room playing Playstation when Xana calls me. Excusing myself, I walk back to my room as I talk to her.
“Hey, Princess.”
“Hi. Where are you? Sorry. Do you need to call me back?” Xana sounds disappointed and I quickly reassure her that she’s not interrupting.
“No. We were just hanging out with the guys, playing some games after we ate. I’m almost back to my room. I didn’t expect you to be finished with dinner so early,” I say, looking at my watch to see it’s only six thirty. I unlock my door to go inside and sit back on my bed.
“Yeah, apparently Mom planned ahead and put things in the oven on her lunch break. I’m completely stuffed. I don’t want to see roast and potatoes for a long time,” she groans and I laugh at her.
“Poor baby. I had to suffer through takeout pizza,” I tease her and she groans again.
“Don’t laugh too hard there, Handsome. Mom made enough for me to give you and Cade.” She laughs and adds, “She even made you your favorite pies.”
“Which one,” I ask suddenly, not laughing. This is serious business. Please let it be lemon meringue.
“Both,” she tells me, amusement taking over her tone.
“No, she didn’t.”
“Yes.” That’s all she says, and now it’s my turn to groan. Lemon meringue and coconut cream. Kill me now.
“What is she trying to do, make me fat? Why didn’t she just bake for you?” I’m not going to turn down her mom’s pies, but I have a diet to maintain for ball, dammit.
“Trust me, she did. She’s in a mood, I guess. Don’t knock it,” she explains. “Besides, you can always share them with the guys.” She laughs, even though that’s just not funny.
“Hell, no! I’m not sharing my pies with those idiots. I’ll just have to work out longer,” I grumble back at her. Now, all I can think about is pie.
Xana laughs really hard at me, and soon I’m laughing along with her. I can hear her dad calling her name right before she covers the phone to answer him. When she comes back, I decide to ask her about her appointment.
“How did it go this afternoon? What did he say?” Xana’s lighthearted mood disappears and she hesitates before answering, her voice a little shaky.
“There’s a lot of damage already, and there are a few more large ones that will eventually burst.” Her voice tapers off and she gets quiet. I think about what she’s told me and give her time to continue.
“He told me to watch my diet and exercise some. He made sure I am current on my pain meds for when I need them. He wants me to go back in three months for another checkup, to see how things look then.” She sounds so broken, and hollow. I can’t stand being this far away from her right now. If the weather wasn’t looking so bad, I’d have driven home to be with her already. Driving back for practice early in the morning would be worth it to see her right now.
“Okay. Anything else?” I want to know everything, but don’t want to rush her, if she’s not ready, and make her shut down.
“The possibility of...that I could have…” She can’t finish her sentence, but I understand what she’s trying to tell me.
“Ssh, baby,” I say trying to soothe her. “Breathe,” I tell her, hoping to help her relax a little. She releases a long breath and sniffles before blowing her nose.
“Why does this have to happen to me? I don’t have a choice, even if I wanted that,” she says quietly.
“Don’t think like that right now, okay? Nothing is ever certain with things like this, re
member. Don’t give up on anything right now. There are better treatments and new information coming out all the time,” I argue with her, my voice probably a little harder than was needed. I was just so damned frustrated we had to have this conversation over the phone. If I didn’t need the damn thing so much, I’d have thrown it at the wall already.
“I know,” she whispers through her crying. “I don’t know what to do or think about any of this. I just feel so...lost.” I can barely hear her words as she begins to cry a little harder. That’s it. I’m done listening and not doing.
“I’m coming to pick you up after I get done with practice tomorrow. I don’t care if you want to come home or stay there until Sunday, but I’m still coming. Don’t even try to argue with me about it.” I’m not talking about this on the phone any longer.
“You know you don’t have to come here just for me, right? I was going to see if Mom could bring me back tomorrow anyway. She said something about going shopping.” Xana has stopped crying for the most part, and that only solidifies my decision that I need to be with her.
“How about this,” I say to her. “You and your mom go shopping in the morning, and then she can bring you home to me. We can stay in for the rest of the weekend.”
“But, I miss you,” she whispers, almost too quietly for me to hear over the phone. It guts me.
“I know. I miss you, too. But, you’re going to go visit with your parents and relax. Whenever you’re ready to go to bed, you’re going to call me and I’ll talk until you’re ready to fall asleep.” I am a little surprised when she says nothing in return. “And if you want to call me tomorrow, you’ll call me. I’ll always answer if I’m able, or I’ll call you back.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course, I am. Now, go and enjoy having your mother fuss over you, and I’ll talk to you later tonight.”