The Last Day of Winter

by Shari Low

  The few seconds it took gave her space to think.

  ‘Right, where would Caro go?’ she asked, after she swallowed her first bite.

  Jen came up with the first suggestion. ‘Her Auntie Pearl, Uncle Bob, and Todd and Jared are all staying over at the West End Grand at the top of Byres Road. Maybe she’s gone to see them? Or maybe she’s gone to see Cammy. He’s staying there too.’

  Josie nodded. ‘Yep, I booked them all in. They’re having lunch together at two o’clock, with the other out-of-towners that are staying there.’

  The hotel had been the obvious choice as it was directly across the road from the Botanic Gardens, home to the glorious Kibble Palace where the wedding ceremony and reception would be taking place. Josie had booked rooms for the whole bridal party to stay there tonight too. At the time, she’d thought it was a great idea, because they could continue the celebrations long into the night. Now, she wasn’t even sure there was going to be anything to celebrate.

  ‘Maybe we should just wait and see if she comes back,’ Val offered. ‘We don’t want to go tearing over there and make everyone panic.’

  Josie couldn’t conceal her exasperation. ‘Val, I have spent the last two months planning every last bit of this wedding. I’ve got a celebrant, I’ve got dinners, flowers, cars, hotel rooms, guests, frocks, suits and speeches organised down to the smallest bloody detail – all of which is completely irrelevant if I don’t have a fecking bride. I think if there was ever a time to panic, this is it.’

  ‘Fair point,’ Val agreed. ‘Panic away.’

  Her quip made Josie smile. God, she loved that woman. For a moment, she wanted to grab her and share her news, cry on her shoulder and seek some comfort, some moral support, but now wasn’t the time. Let’s get past the wedding crisis before moving on to the next one.

  A catch of emotion in her throat set off another coughing fit, this one so severe that she had to clutch on to the worktop to steady herself.

  ‘In the name of God, Josie, when are you going to get that seen to?’ Val demanded. ‘How many times have I nagged you to get to the doctor’s? Sounds like you’re coughing up bloody Brillo pads there. If I see you so much as lighting up a cig, there’ll be hell to pay.’

  Josie waited until she thought she could get a sentence out without choking before she retorted, ‘Val, I love you, but I haven’t listened to you for the last ten years, so the chances of me starting now are about as slim as my bony arse.’

  She ignored Val’s pursed lips and eye roll of disapproval and snapped into action. There was no way she was letting this day fail, not while she had a breath left in her fecked lungs.

  ‘Okay, you three stay here and if she comes back, call me immediately.’

  ‘Where are you going?’ Jen asked, her voice still hoarse from all the singing the night before.

  ‘If Caro says she’s gone to sort it out, that can only mean she’s gone to see Cammy. So I’ll head over there and suss it out. I need to pop in to the venue anyway and check that everything is going to plan. Try not to lose anything else, like a bridesmaid, while I’m away,’ she added, with a droll wink to Val.

  ‘I’ll come with you,’ Val offered.

  Josie immediately declined. Normally, she’d want Val right by her side for a situation like this, but today she didn’t trust herself not to blurt out the truth about her health, so she came up with an argument on the spot. ‘No, Val. If she comes back she’ll need you here to talk to, because these two don’t look like they’re up to the job.’ She cast a disapproving glance at Jen and Chrissie, who didn’t have the energy to argue.

  Val reluctantly agreed. ‘Okay. We’ll get everything back on track at this end, so that if you come back with Caro, we’ll still be on schedule. And I’ll call you if she appears.’

  ‘Good plan. See you later,’ she said, giving Val a kiss on the cheek as she passed. ‘And look on the bright side…’

  Val’s bewilderment was obvious. ‘What’s that?’

  ‘If they don’t get hitched, you and I can go on the honeymoon. Two weeks in the Maldives coming right up.’

  Despite herself, Val giggled. These two had used humour to get them through some of the very worst things in life, and dealing with situations this way was second nature to them.

  Besides, this wasn’t a disaster yet. It could still be saved if she could just find Caro and get to the bottom of what was going on.

  Downstairs, she whistled to a passing taxi, and watched with satisfaction as it pulled into the kerb in front of her. It had been a conscious decision not to bring the car today, as she knew that at some point she’d probably succumb to a vino or six. She’d assumed they would be in celebration. Now she knew differently.

  Again, she pulled her mind back into focus. Concentrate on the problem in front of her, worry about the other stuff later. Today, the wedding. Tomorrow, her health. Until then it could stay in a box, firmly held shut with nails and a large roll of gaffer tape.

  The wet streets sped by as they travelled from the Merchant City in the centre of Glasgow, out to the more picturesque grandeur of the West End.

  As they drove, Josie prepared herself and thought through the problem. Caro and Cammy loved each other, that much she was sure of. But there was no denying that Caro had been through a rough time over the last couple of years, what with her mum dying and finding out that her father had been lying to her since she was a child. That had to be hard to take, and yet Caro had held it all together, taken everything in her stride and seemed to have coped with it all without any long-term damage. At least, they all thought she had coped. Who really knew what was going on under the surface though? Her whole life had changed in such a short time – her mum dying, meeting Cammy, moving to Glasgow, changing her job, her friends, her world… No wonder it had bubbled up and become so overwhelming now. Josie’s heart went out to her, but at the same time, she didn’t want Cammy getting hurt. That boy was like a son to her, and she loved him as much as she loved her own brood, Michael and Avril.

  Twenty minutes later, she gave the driver ten quid and jumped out at the entrance to the hotel. It was one of her favourite buildings, a Venetian-style terrace built in the mid1800s. She’d had too many lunches and lovely dinners in here to count, often followed or preceded by a wander round the Botanic Gardens across the road.

  There would be no one wandering around there today in this rain – except, hopefully, the caterers who would be setting up for tonight’s ceremony in the Kibble Palace, a stunning glass structure in the gardens. She considered nipping over there to check on the preparations first, then changed her mind. Let’s see if she could get the wedding back on track before worrying about the bloody salmon vol-au-vents.

  It was almost two o’clock. She had five hours to turn this around. She just prayed that Caro was here and that she could sort it.

  She skipped up the steps, and into the lobby, immediately warmed by the stunning decorations and the sound of an orchestra playing ‘Silent Night’ oozing from the some hidden speakers. This was Christmas card perfect. If the Christmas card in question featured a fleeing bride, a clueless groom and a whole heap of wedding guests who’d showed up for a union that might not happen. Where were the three wise men when you needed them?

  She marched over to the one free receptionist. ‘Could you call one of your guests for me please? Cameron Jones.’

  ‘Certainly. Who shall I say is looking for him?’

  It was out of Josie’s mouth before she could help herself. ‘His escort service. He’ll be thrilled that I’ve got here so quickly, what with the hassle of parking my mobility scooter.’

  The receptionist stifled a laugh as she picked up the phone, behaving as if this was a completely normal interaction.

  After about thirty seconds with the phone to her ear, she shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, but there’s no answer in his room.’

  ‘Damn,’ Josie sighed, before a thought came to her. Everyone who was staying here was due to meet for l
unch at two o’clock. Surely Caro wasn’t in there right now, breaking it to them all at the same time? Bugger. ‘Thanks anyway,’ she said, smiling graciously, before taking off in the direction of the restaurant. She pushed the brass handles on the heavy wooden door and burst inside, scanning the room.

  To her right, she saw the long table and… yes! There was Cammy. And Pearl and Bob. Todd. Jared. Some of Cammy’s family, who’d travelled down from Perth. Definitely no Caro. But… Fuck.

  It took her a moment to make sure she was seeing correctly. Cammy had his arm around a woman and was in deep conversation with her. Josie could only see her from the back, but she knew immediately that it was one of the two people she just could not handle seeing today. Her eyes went to the left, and there, bloody hell, was the second face she didn’t want to see.

  No. Absolutely not. Those Gods were messing with her again. She couldn’t do this. Just couldn’t.

  Cammy suddenly caught her eye. ‘Noooooo,’ he yelled, his words alerting the woman in front of him and the man to his right. ‘It was supposed to be a surprise!’

  His two companions turned to see her, laughing as they threw their arms up in exasperation.

  ‘She’s like a bloody ninja. I told you some freaky superpower shit would alert her to the fact we were here,’ the woman said, laughing. They all were. They all looked so happy, and it was all Josie could do not to run, to flee the scene. The interlopers both came towards her, arms outstretched.

  ‘Admit it, Mother – you put tracking chips into us years ago,’ the guy said, as they descended and enveloped her in a hug.

  Michael. Avril. On any other day, they would be the best thing she could possibly see, but not right now, because by God, it was hard enough to hold it together today and these two had just made it impossible.

  Thirteen

  Stacey

  Stacey’s phone buzzed, saving her from Senga’s inquisitive stare. She picked it up and checked the screen. Jax. A text.

  WTF is going on? Where are you?

  Her heart sank. It had been a shit move, running out on him like that. They’d been planning to spend Christmas up at Mammoth Mountain, a ski resort about five hours north of LA, and she’d just ditched him. Not only had she ditched him, but she was in love with someone else and had decided to fly halfway around the world to do something about it. And the Oscar for rubbish girlfriend in a leading role goes to Stacey Summers.

  Sorry Jax. Had to come home. Last minute decision. Hope you understand. Xx

  No reply. That’s when she noticed that his original text had been sent hours ago. It must have just come through now because her phone had connected to her mum’s Wi-Fi. She did a calculation – it was now just after 4 a.m. in LA. He’d probably be in bed or in a club – either way, she didn’t expect him to answer her text. And she very much doubted that he understood anyway.

  That was a problem for another day. Right now, her biggest issue was staring her in the face, in the form of a decidedly unamused mother, who was giving her the evil eye over the rim of a mug that said, I lost my heart (and my knickers) in Benidorm. She really hoped that wasn’t true.

  ‘I should have seen this coming,’ Senga said, with a sigh. ‘Jean bet me a tenner years ago that you and Cammy would get together, but I didn’t believe it. You were such good mates and I didn’t think you’d risk your friendship. I don’t know if I hate it more that you’re hurting, or that Jean was right.’

  Stacey smiled, grateful that at least her mother wasn’t flying off the handle.

  ‘When did you realise how you felt about him?’

  Stacey’s shoulders slumped. ‘Years ago. The night before he left LA to come back here. We had a wild night of passion—’

  ‘Given that I’m your mother and don’t want to hear these things, I’m taking that as being a wild night of playing Jenga,’ Senga interjected.

  Stacey couldn’t resist the bait. ‘Yep, wild, brilliant, madly passionate Jenga. And afterwards, he told me that he was in love with me. I’d had no idea.’

  ‘That bloody Jean is psychic. So what did you say?’

  ‘Nothing. I just… fumbled it all. Then he left and told me I knew where to find him if I felt the same…’

  ‘And it’s taken you the best part of three years to realise it? Why didn’t you tell him back then and we’d never have got to where we are today? Hells bells, Stacey, didn’t I always teach you to say what was on your mind and be honest about how you feel? What happened to you?’

  ‘You’ve no idea how many times I’ve asked myself that too. I should have said something. It was…’ she paused. ‘Complicated. He’d already decided to leave and I wasn’t ready to give up my life there. By the time I realised that I wanted him, he’d met Caro, and I thought it was too late…’

  Senga’s sigh interrupted her. ‘It is too late, love.’

  ‘Is it though?’

  ‘Yes! Why now? Why didn’t you come back six months ago or a year ago or last bloody week? Why the weekend of his wedding? Come on, Stace, love, you’ve got to see that’s crazy.’

  ‘I know! But I thought he and Caro would burn out and I was waiting until that happened. My life is in LA now and I was sure he’d miss me, miss his life there and come back. When the invitation to the wedding arrived, I was stunned. What happened to long engagements and plenty of warning? It’s all I’ve been able to think about for weeks and then a couple of days ago, I realised that if there’s a choice between living in LA without Cammy, or living here with him, I’m ready to come back.’

  ‘You don’t mean that.’

  ‘I do. I love my life there, Mum, but I honestly think I’d give it up for him now. I’m thirty-five. How much longer have I got in hot pants? I want to get married, to have kids, to have a normal life and I want to do that with Cammy.’

  As she was saying it, Stacey could hear how it sounded – like someone who was nervous about her future and looking for a safety blanket. Maybe that was partly true, but that wasn’t the crux of it. She blurted out the next argument before Senga could nail her on the last point.

  ‘The thing is, Mum, what if he’s only marrying Caro because I rejected him? What if I’m the love of his life and the one he’s meant to be with? We were best friends, inseparable for over ten years. That’s tough to beat.’

  ‘And yet it didn’t turn into anything more in all that time.’

  ‘Because we were stupid! He was too scared of damaging our friendship and I was too blind to see how he felt. But what if we were meant to be together? What if he’s settling for second best because his first choice didn’t work out?’

  ‘Or what if his feelings have changed since he met Caro?’

  Stacey swallowed the last bite of her toast. ‘But what if they haven’t?’

  Senga thought about that for a moment. ‘I want it noted that I’m doing my best to be calm and non-judgemental…’

  ‘Thanks, Mum.’

  ‘So I won’t say you’re a daft boot and you should have done something about this long before now.’

  ‘I appreciate that you’re not pointing that out,’ Stacey added with a wry roll of the eyes.

  Senga took another sip of her tea. ‘And I won’t say that I think you’re wrong, but I do. Caro is something special, love. I’ve never seen Cammy so happy. They’re right together. Are you absolutely sure you want to do this and risk looking like a complete tit?’

  ‘Pathetically positive.’

  Senga continued to punctuate every line with a sigh. ‘S’pose at least it means you’re done with Jinx?’

  ‘Jax.’

  ‘I know, but Jinx sounds better. Easy on the eye – Ida said he made her insides flip for the first time since the eighties – but you two have been on and off more often than my bloody boiler.’

  Stacey didn’t rise to it. The last thing she wanted was an invasive dissection of her relationship with Jax. She didn’t need her mother to tell her that it wasn’t right. One way or another she would sort out things
with him when she got back to LA.

  ‘Okay. So tell me the plan,’ Senga went on.

  Stacey lifted her mug, mostly as a diversion because she could feel Senga’s disapproval wafting towards her. ‘What plan?’

  ‘The plan that you’ve hatched in your head as to when and where you’re going to speak to Cammy,’ Senga retorted. ‘Because if I’m to be pure mortified by my daughter’s behaviour, then I want to at least be wearing fresh lippy and have something to hide behind.’

  ‘I don’t… I don’t have a plan.’

  She wasn’t lying. Get back to Glasgow, go see him, get him alone and blurt out her feelings. That was as far as she’d got. And even then, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to say it.

  Looking from the outside, she could see that it was crazy. Insane. Who did this? Who actually set out to tell someone that they loved them on their wedding day to someone else? She’d obviously spent too much time in LA, and begun to believe that life turned out just like a romcom, with a big dramatic twist and then the right girl getting the guy. She’d lost it. Her mother clearly thought the same.

  ‘Are you on drugs?’ Senga asked, with the same tone she’d used to check if Stacey was smoking after the youth club when she was twelve. Back then, she’d been guilty. Not now.

  ‘Of course not!’

  ‘Right,’ Senga answered, satisfied. ‘Just had to ask. Ina has been on the cannabis oil for her arthritis and she’s come out with a few wild ideas in the last wee while. She decided she was madly in love with some bloke that works in Morrisons and propositioned him in the frozen food aisle. They’re going out for a curry next Friday night.’

  ‘Ma, I’m not on drugs. I just… love him. And I can’t stand the thought that I haven’t told him. I know my timing is terrible and this makes me look like a really shit person, and I know that he’s going to marry someone else and I don’t stand a chance anyway, but I need to say it. I need to know for sure, because then I’ll stop torturing myself about whether I’ve let the best thing in my life pass me by.’ She was furiously blinking back the tears now. ‘Look, if you tell me not to do it, I won’t.’