The Consequence of Loving Me: An Enemies to Lovers Romance (Aftershock Series Book 1)

by Kat Singleton

  His hands wrap around my waist, fisting the fabric of my sweater in his fingers. “Holy fuck,” he says, his lips running down my throat in a slow descent that fires off so many nerve endings in my abdomen. His teeth clamp down on the skin of my shoulder, causing me to moan desperately, my hips arching against his.

  I grab the strong line of his jaw and guide his lips back to mine, already missing how they fell against mine in perfect rhythm. When given the opportunity, I take his full bottom lip—where his scar sits—and bite down. I pull it out as he lets out a moan himself. My teeth let go, but I go back for more and kiss the spot where my teeth just were. My tongue caresses the jagged line, committing it to memory. If I thought I could paint it before, it doesn’t compare to how I could now. Now that I’ve had the chance to become very acquainted with it.

  The strong hands on my waist slide underneath my sweater. They tighten against my skin before Maverick lifts me up, spinning us, then pushes me against the wall. I’m now face-to-face with him without having to pull his neck down. My legs twist around his hips, gripping him so hard there’s no way he could get rid of me at this point.

  His deep eyes stare at me for one long, antagonizing moment. I wish I could be in his head right now, but the thought leaves as soon as his lips are back on mine. He kneads at my ass and I suddenly wish I didn’t have leggings on. I want to feel his skin against mine. If I didn’t have them on right now, I’d be able to feel the flex of his muscles against my inner thighs.

  It’s something I desperately need.

  “You taste better than I could have ever fantasized,” he murmurs.

  My thighs clench around him.

  32

  Maverick

  “Have you been thinking about me, Maverick?” she whispers. Her legs are wrapped so tightly around me that it hurts to breathe, the soft skin of her thighs rubbing against my hip bones.

  “Even though every part of me didn’t want to,” I respond, pulling her hair so her throat is exposed. My mouth licks and nips at her creamy white skin. As difficult as she is in person, I thought it would be hard to get a reaction out of her, but it’s the opposite. She sighs and moans with every press of my body against hers.

  Her hands fly up to my chest, pushing against it—hard. “Oh my god, Selma.” Her eyes are wide—regret etched in every single line on her face.

  I miss the feel of her legs around me as soon she unravels them. I help her catch her balance as her bare feet thud against the carpeted floor. I don’t move my hands from the small of her waist.

  I force her face to look at me by grasping her chin lightly. “Selma and I aren’t a couple anymore. You know that.”

  Her perfect mouth opens widely. Her jaw works open and then closes as she tries to figure out what to say.

  And I understand why—because it feels odd for me to even say, a part of me still not used to the words.

  Ever since Selma and I broke up, I told myself I wouldn’t allow myself to put my hands on Veronica for months—if given the chance. I didn’t want to come off as that douchebag who bounced from one chick to another. But that was obviously another lie I told to myself to feel like I was doing the right thing.

  Now I know that doing the right thing can go to hell if it means I get to taste Veronica again.

  It’s all I’ve thought about since the night we played spin the bottle.

  Selma and I are over. I was faithful to her, always. That has to count for something. And I know I should give it time before I try whatever this is with Veronica, but I’m not strong enough to follow my own advice.

  I knew the moment before my lips first pressed against hers, during that game of spin the bottle, that I would never be able to forget it. And I did it anyway.

  Now, I can admit I need her lips on me just as badly as I want to unravel the tangle of lies she tells herself every night to cope with her trauma. Desperately. Passionately. Without any thought of the consequences.

  “So, I’m the god damn rebound?” She crosses her arm over her chest, glaring at me like I’m the first person on her shit list.

  The pout on her face is adorable.

  I want to wipe it off with my lips.

  “You’re not the rebound. You’re just—I just don’t know, Veronica. You’re just you. I’ve been thinking of you for longer than I should’ve been and now that we’ve started this, I’m not sure I can stop. At least not tonight.” I reach between us and play with a long strand of her hair. I twist it around my finger, giving her some time to think it through.

  If I feel her lips again, it’ll be because she’s finally admitting that something has ignited between us and she feels the need to let it burn wild as well.

  I try not to think about what will happen if she denies me again. I might crumble. I’m not above getting on my knees and begging her to give us a chance. Even if that chance is only for a single night.

  Veronica doesn’t make me wait long. Her tiny hands press against my chest until I’m forced to walk backward. The backs of my thighs hit my bed frame as we fall together onto my black sheets.

  “I’m not a rebound,” she states, climbing over me until she’s on top of me.

  “You’re not a rebound,” I repeat.

  “This can’t be more than sex. You know that, right?” Her hand slides down my abs. She takes her time, occasionally stopping to trace the outline of muscles. Those slim fingers slip into the waistband of my joggers and I am done for.

  “Veronica?” I purposefully ignore her last comment. Not willing to admit this isn’t just sex for me.

  Her big eyes look at me. They’re wide with mischief as she starts to stroke me up and down. Those perfectly arched eyebrows raise in question.

  “Stop overthinking this. Let me kiss you until you forget about your rules. I don’t want you thinking about anything other than where my mouth will land on you next.” At my words, her hand stills on me and I use it to my advantage. I flip us over so I now lie over her.

  Blonde strands of hair fan out around her. I love the way the blonde looks against my black sheets. My arms are on either side of her head. It feels like we’re in our own world. My body hovers over hers and I stare into her eyes for a long moment. I wish I could crawl inside that pretty head of hers and live in there—get acquainted with what she tells herself.

  But since I can’t, I’ll settle for getting to know every agonizingly beautiful part of her body.

  Bracing myself on my elbow, I use my free hand to trace over her silhouette, starting at her heart-shaped face. Continuing down her long neck, I feel her pulse underneath my fingertip, beating in a fast rhythm that rivals my own. I absentmindedly trace over the tattoo written on her collar bone.

  My mind skips back to the moment I first noticed it. It was the first night I saw her skin and felt something. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now.

  My hand continues its descent until I trace over the peak of her breasts. Her quick intake of air when I circle around her nipple sends the rest of my blood to my dick. I reach the bottom of her sweater, looking at her for permission to take it off.

  “Get it the fuck off,” she says breathlessly, making me chuckle. That attitude of hers is something else.

  We both lift up to remove it. She manages to tear it off in one swift movement and I’m rewarded with the sight of a great expanse of creamy white skin.

  My eyes roam over the skin I used to refuse to admire. Now, I can’t find where I want to look most. She’s wearing a bra that looks more like a sports bra than a normal bra. But it’s made of lace that I can see right through. Feeling the need to get even more acquainted with her body, I lean down and suck on the fabric right over her nipple.

  Veronica yelps underneath me, her hands clawing at my back. I take the time to get to know both breasts before I slide my mouth down her soft stomach. The slope of her ribcage rises and falls as I make a slow descent.

  “Jesus Christ,” Veronica mutters when I start to play with the waistband of her le
ggings. She has her head tilted back and her hips arched up, waiting for me.

  My finger dips into her pants, and I fall in love with the sounds she makes as I explore her.

  “Off. I need them off.” Her hips raise until I take the hint, peeling the leggings off to expose all of her to me.

  I find she has nothing on underneath the leggings.

  I see all of her—something I desperately need.

  I bite down on her jutting hip bones, licking the spot where my teeth just were.

  “Lower, Maverick. Go lower.” Her hands tangle in my hair as she pushes my head down, raising her hips so I reach her center quicker.

  I give her what she wants.

  I go lower.

  33

  Veronica

  We fit together perfectly.

  Once he was inside me, it felt like a small part of me found myself.

  I found myself in how his mouth worshipped my lips.

  In how his fingers tangled in my hair.

  A little bit more of me made sense as he chanted my name all night. The soft whispers of it. The loud groans. The way my name came out of his mouth like gravel as we each chased our release—together.

  I found myself in the lazy strokes of his fingers on my skin.

  In the empty conversation as we lay in his bed, our limbs tangled together.

  I found myself.

  I found myself and it terrified me.

  Because as a part of me started to make sense, another part of me wanted to rebel. That part of me couldn’t forget what I had been through, what I made a vow to myself about.

  And I still stand true to my oath. To never love another man; to never let another man love me.

  So, now I have to live with this consequence of giving in to him.

  Because I gave him a part of me, with no intentions of taking a part of him.

  It felt empty, wrong.

  But I found myself. I found myself in him and it scared me.

  It left me with less of myself, and none of him. I wasn’t willing to take anything from him.

  And it felt empty, so wrong.

  34

  Veronica

  The next couple of weeks pass by in a blur. I work, I go to school, and I lose myself in Maverick.

  The first time we slept together, I was determined not to let it happen again—but he’s an addiction I don’t want to kick.

  Any spare moment we have, we find ourselves tangled up in bed.

  Except for now, when we find ourselves actually out of the house for once.

  We’ve joined Lily, Aspen, Tristan and some other friends at Lenny’s. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone out loud, but I truly enjoy hanging out with them.

  I would rather be at home with Maverick’s face between my thighs, but…

  Lily and I sit across from each other in the large booth our party takes up. The boys are playing pool, leaving us alone here. We’ve spent the last twenty minutes discussing our workout routines.

  But now, she becomes serious as she faces me. “What’s going on with you and my brother?” Lily takes a long drink out of her beer as I almost spit mine out all over the table. She raises her dark eyebrows at me and reaches across the table to hand me a napkin, the napkin wiggling in the air. “Might want to clean yourself up.”

  I glare at her, taking the napkin from her and wiping around my mouth. When I look down, I find that a small amount of my beer has landed on my sheer bodysuit. “What’s going on with you and Aspen?” I counter. It comes out bitchy, but if she wants to get personal, two can play that game.

  I’ve noticed the way her eyes have lingered on Aspen tonight, longer than they should. Their normal banter has been kicked up to ten. If I were a betting girl, I’d say there’s been a new development between the two of them. I was going to mind my own business for once, but since she decided to bring up my situation with Maverick, all bets are off.

  She rolls her eyes, downing the rest of her beer, then slaps it down on the table. “Aspen and I had sex.”

  My eyebrows shoot up, and I lean across the table, anxious to hear more.

  “And let’s just say…it was my first time getting, you know, busy with somebody else. It freaked him out. We yelled at each other. Now I hate him.” Her eyes focus on where he’s playing a game of pool with Maverick.

  Aspen seems to be telling some kind of story, because he animatedly spins his hands around as Maverick nods his head every now and then.

  Maverick must sense my gaze, because he looks my way and winks—fucking winks—and it does something to my stomach that makes me feel like a young schoolgirl instead of a grown ass adult.

  “I think my stupid, useless, pathetic heart fell in love with him,” Lily says.

  My eyes rapidly find her. Color me shocked by her admission. I want to check my ears to make sure I heard her correctly. “Are we talking about the same person? Aspen, Aspen?” I point at him, and at that exact moment, he mimics humping something against the pool table.

  Lily shrieks, reaching across the table and slapping my hand. “Oh my god, Veronica! You can’t just point at him.” She shrinks down in the booth, pulling her jacket collar up to hide behind. It’s a bit over dramatic considering Aspen hasn’t even looked our way since we started the conversation, but I decide not to tell her that.

  “Sorry,” I mumble. “But are we seriously talking about the same human being? You’re in love with Aspen?”

  “Yes!” She groans and then, “Don’t make me feel worse about it than I already do, Veronica. He’s gross. Incredibly ugly. No sense of humor at all. My heart will come to its senses soon, I’m sure.” Lily sits up and throws her hair over her shoulder. “Anywhooo…tell me about you and my brother. Because I’m not too dumb to notice the way you two have been staring at each other like two love-sick puppies.”

  It’s my turn to gasp, anxiously looking at Maverick to make sure he didn’t overhear what Lily just said. He’s all the way across the bar, but I still need the reassurance. I don’t need him getting any ideas about us.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I take a drink of my beer. It’s lukewarm at this point, but it sends alcohol through my bloodstream, which is all I need at this point. My face grimaces at the bitter aftertaste.

  “Look, I’ve known Maverick my whole life,” she says.

  “Obviously. You’re twins.”

  “Could you not interrupt me? Thanks. Back to what I was saying.” She leans forward, propping her elbows on the table. “Since Maverick and I are twins, I’ve seen him with other girls—well, mostly just Selma. Don’t get me wrong, Maverick loved Selma, he always will. But I told her for the past year that they didn’t belong together as a couple. The way he is around you is different, Veronica. It’s different. And the verdict is still out if that different is good or bad because I know you’re fucked up and have your own shit you’re dealing with. But he’s different with you. It’s obvious the two of you have hooked up.”

  I stare at her, my mind turning over her words.

  She doesn’t allow me to stew in silence though, because she begins to talk again. “Which reminds me, I need to have the obligatory talk with you, that if you break my brother’s heart, I will have to do something to make your pretty face not so pretty anymore. And I can throw a punch just as well as I can refuse to fall in love with my brother’s best friend. So, let’s not get to that point. Got it?”

  “Trust me, I have no intentions on having Maverick’s heart enough to break it.” I look over at him and find his eyes on me. It sends shivers down my body. Part of me wants to ditch our friends and go back to our place so I can feel his eyes on me in private.

  Lily hums, her eyes looking at Maverick and Aspen as well. “I don’t think that’s going to be an option if you keep going down the road you’re on, so you need to make a decision. Allow someone to care for you again or leave. Because the way Maverick is looking at you right now is not a look that says the two of you can stay fuck buddies witho
ut feelings getting involved.”

  Lenny drops two more beers off at our table, which I gladly take. When I look at her again, I tell her, “Maverick knows where I stand on relationships and feelings and all that bullshit.”

  “He might know, but he might think he can change your mind.”

  “I don’t know what to do, Lily. Things are different with him. I feel less shitty when he’s around. The way he looks at me makes me feel like maybe I’m not as horrible of a human being as I thought. Because a person like me has to have some kind of redeeming quality about them to deserve to be looked at like that. But I’ve been there before—you know that—and the last time I felt anything close to this, it ended in me losing the one person who made me feel that way. I can’t go through that again.” I stare at the dull colors of the beer label. My long, manicured nail picks at the peeling label.

  I think back to the time I drunkenly told Lily about my past. It was right after I came clean to Maverick. It just kind of slipped out to her. Something about the Morrison twins makes me spill out like paint on a white canvas. When she didn’t judge me, even after I’d told her about my mistakes, it made me finally view her as a friend—probably the best friend I have.

  Lily snaps her fingers, gaining my attention once again. “You are going to listen to me, Veronica, and you are going to listen carefully. You fucked up. We all have. You went through a traumatic experience. It’s obviously something you’re going to have to cope with for the rest of your life, but it wasn’t all your fault. And you have to stop using Connor’s death as an excuse to avoid being vulnerable again.”