I gave her the universal, non-committal parent answer, “We’ll see.”
After our kiss, things will either work out with Sabrina or she’ll run as far and fast as she can. I’ll hope for the former and figure out how to stop the latter from happening.
12
Sabrina
“We have to talk about it, you know.”
The milk I’d been pouring missed the glass and spilled all over the counter. “Jesus Dan, you scared me.” I ripped a paper towel off the roll directly in front of me and blotted up the mess. I glanced over at him. “How do you move so quietly with a crutch and that brace on your leg?”
He shrugged and leaned against the counter. “Maybe I’m not quiet. Maybe you’re just too wrapped up in your thoughts to hear me.” He chuckled. “Besides, if I give you fair warning, you might run the other way.”
I didn’t dispute that claim because he just might be right. “Want some?” I gestured toward the milk container.
“If you’re pouring.”
I grabbed a glass from the cabinet above my head, filled it with milk, and handed it to Dan. His fingers brushed over mine and sparks radiated from my hand to every pleasure point in my body reminding me why I wanted to avoid him in the first place.
“You can’t avoid me forever, you know.”
“I’ve been with you all day.”
“Not because you wanted to be.” He looked and sounded like a pouting child, but his words rang true.
After our morning session, I’d wanted nothing more than to put some much-needed space between Dan and myself. Unfortunately, Lexi had other plans. First she asked me to play catch with her, which seemed harmless enough until she asked Dan to watch just to make sure she was doing everything right. After that, her sage green eyes turned pathetic and pleading as she begged Dan and me to play a game of Uno with her. When I attempted to say no, she really turned on the charm and added logic for good measure. After all, Uno really is quite boring with only two people playing.
Lunch followed what seemed like a hundred hands of the card game, followed by Dan’s afternoon therapy session. Shortly after that, Lexi tracked me down and asked me to give Dan a French braiding lesson.
I managed to escape after dinner, sneaking out the back door to explore the grounds. Part of me felt guilty, but I know Lexi would have wanted to tag along if she knew my plans—most likely inviting “Daddy” along—and I really needed the time to clear my head.
The kiss Dan and I had shared still has my head spinning, and that combined with the whole Mr. Mom thing he has going on might skew my vision of him. Rose-colored glasses are lovely, until you’re into someone heart and soul and are forced to take them off and see him in his true light. That happened to me once with Dan and I can’t allow it to happen again.
The walk had helped clear my vision of him. Now if I can only keep it that way for the next few weeks, I’ll be okay.
“Did you hear what I said before?” Dan asked.
“What’s that?”
“We have to talk about it.”
“Talk about what?”
He blew out a frustrated breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “The kiss.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” I drained my glass in one gulp, rinsed it out, and placed it in the dish drainer on the counter. Just to keep myself occupied, I retrieved the sponge from the sink and wiped down the counter.
Dan grabbed my wrist, forcing me to stop. “Would you slow down and talk to me?” His green eyes bore into mine. “Please?”
I’m not sure if it was the “please” or the frustration in his tone that convinced me to put the sponge back into the sink and lean against the counter, waiting for him to speak.
“Thank you.” He let go of my wrist and took a step back. “That kiss was pretty amazing.” I gave him what I hoped was my best bland expression. He must have sensed that I wasn’t going to comment, because he continued. “There’s something between us, Bri. There always has been.” His smile turned nostalgic. “I remember the first time I laid eyes on you. Do you remember that?”
I nodded and swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. Apparently my remembering wasn’t good enough…he wanted to reminisce.
“You were taping ankles in the training room. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. I knew then Sabrina, at that moment, we were meant for each other.”
Tears stung my eyes, threatening to spill. I wanted to stop him, but the lump in my throat prohibited me from saying a word.
“I know you feel it too. You got just as caught up in that kiss as I did, and if Lexi didn’t come home, who knows what would have happened?” His eyes seemed to glow in the dim light of the kitchen and I felt drawn to him. So drawn it terrified me.
“I’ve never forgotten you. Never forgotten what it was like between us. I nearly died when you left me. It was like losing half of my heart.”
Thank the good Lord he said those last two sentences because I’d been starting to melt. His last words actually made me see red. He nearly died when I left him? Ha! What a laugh. I was such a mess, my mother nearly had to sedate me. Thank God it happened at the end of the school year, otherwise I probably would have taken the semester off…that, or flunk out.
Dan must have seen the storm in my eyes because he started speaking quickly, as if he was trying to get it all out before I exploded.
“I know I was a jerk back then. I know I hurt you as much as I hurt myself, but I’m not the same person.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the floor before his eyes met mine again. “What I’m trying to say is that I want you back. I mean, I’d like another chance if you’re willing to give me one. I’ll treat you right this time Bri, I swear I will.”
I have to admit he was giving an award winning performance. He looked sincere enough, but then he always did. I wanted to rant and tell him about how devastated I was back then, how much he’d hurt me. But for some reason I couldn’t. I felt numb inside. Numb and cold. I wanted nothing more than to go to bed.
“No,” I said quietly.
He blinked comically. “Excuse me?” Apparently he’s not used to having women say that word to him.
“No, I’m not willing to give you another chance.” I waited a second for my words to sink in, then added, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed.”
I left him standing in the kitchen with his mouth hanging open.
Dan
Well fuck, that didn’t go like I’d hoped.
What can I do? How can I make her understand?
Before I could delve too deeply into those questions, Jeff came through the door.
“Early night?”
“Tori didn’t feel well so she came home tonight instead of tomorrow.”
Jeff was currently dating the mom of one of Lexi’s friends. They were keeping things under wraps until they figured out where things were going. Since Nancy is a single mother, their alone time is pretty limited. But he seems happy. At least someone’s love life is looking bright.
“You look like somebody kicked you in the teeth,” he said. “What’s up?”
I looked down at the glass of milk I still held. Unfortunately, it didn’t hold any of the answers I need. Turning to the sink, I poured it down the drain and rinsed my glass.
“I asked Sabrina to give me another chance and she said no.”
“Okay, so you still have work to do.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I don’t know.”
Jeff chuckled. “It really is interesting seeing you like this.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” I scowled. “You know, it’s not like my love life has been perfect. Did you forget about Marie? That turned to shit as soon as she got pregnant.”
“True. But before Marie, you had the life. You were the first guy my age to get laid, and you continued getting it on the regular.”
“Yeah, and that’s what got me into this mess with Sabrina,” I said. “God, I
was such a dick.”
“Don’t beat yourself up too much. You know the old saying, ‘A stiff prick doesn’t have a conscience.’”
“But I do. And part of me knew it was wrong while I was doing it, no matter what my father said.”
“Well, you can’t change the past. Just keep proving yourself,” he said. “Sabrina is pretty smart. She’ll figure it out eventually.”
I stared at the ceiling, hoping a game plan would appear. The last time I felt this unhinged was when I was pleading with Marie not to have an abortion. I’m a take-action kind of guy and it drives me crazy when I don’t have control over the outcome of a situation. With Marie, I had something she wanted…money. With Sabrina, I can only offer myself and she doesn’t seem to want any part of me.
That’s not exactly true. When she lets her guard down, I can see the attraction is still there, she just doesn’t trust me. I can show her I’m worthy of her trust, but there’s no way I can make her take a chance on me.
When it was obvious I wasn’t going to fall asleep any time soon, I got out of bed
and ventured downstairs to watch TV. After flipping through the channels a couple times, I settled on an old Seinfeld rerun I’d already seen a million times. Good. Something mindless to distract me from this whole situation.
Unfortunately, it didn’t work. I just couldn’t shut my mind off. If I wasn’t trying to come
up with a plan of attack, I was beating myself up about the past and how badly I fucked up. Then there’s this damn leg. I know my injuries could have been much worse, but not being able to play ball leaves a lot of time for me to do nothing but think.
I pushed back on the recliner until I was laying down and settled my arm over my eyes, willing sleep to come. Hopefully Sabrina is getting a good night’s sleep. One of us will need a clear head in my therapy sessions tomorrow.
13
Sabrina
Sleep eluded me for most of the night. My mind was racing, filled with so many thoughts I couldn’t keep up with all of them. Dan’s words dredged up so many things I never wanted to think about again.
Things had been good between us—perfect in fact—if only he could have kept it in his pants. I laughed out loud at that last thought. The fact that he couldn’t keep it in his pants didn’t bother me as much as the fact that he had no problem keeping it there with me, yet whipped it out for every other female on campus.
I’d been more than willing to have sex with Dan. I’m not proud of it, but there were nights I practically begged him to make love to me, but he never would. His hands on my body, his soft lips on my mouth, my neck, my breasts nearly drove me crazy.
One night in particular comes to mind. Dan and I had attended his senior prom. Prom night. Can I be more cliché? And instead of going to one of the many parties being thrown across campus, Dan and I went to my apartment. My roommate had gone home for the weekend, so we had the whole place to ourselves.
We didn’t speak as we walked to my bedroom. Dan took my face in his hands and kissed me so sweetly, tears had welled in my eyes. By slow degrees, the kiss changed tone and turned hungry, almost demanding. Somehow we ended up on the bed with Dan on top of me. Our hands were all over each other and before I knew it, Dan had divested me of my dress. His shirt, tie, and vest had followed suit.
I’d always loved his chest and my hands roamed freely, relishing the feel of the crisp hair that dusted the soft skin and steel muscles beneath. I lifted my head off the pillow and nipped at his pec and sucked on his nipple. He groaned.
His hands gripped my waist and rolled over so he was lying flat on his back with me straddling his hips. I felt his hard length pressing into me through his pants and my panties and I actually shivered with excitement. Dan’s limber fingers flicked open the front closure of my bra and my breasts spilled into his waiting hands. It was my turn to groan when he lightly brushed his thumbs over my aching nipples.
I bent my head and kissed him for all I was worth. My whole heart and soul was put into that kiss, into every stroke of my tongue, telling him without words how much I loved him.
Dan’s hands continued caressing my breasts and the sensations he created were amazing. My hips bucked in rhythm over his and every nerve in my body was on full alert. I shifted, better aligning our bodies and continued to move over him.
Dan’s hands left my breasts and grasped my hips, stilling my movements. It took some doing on his part, because my body seemed to be on autopilot and wouldn’t relent. He shifted onto his side and I slid next to him. I looked into his glowing green eyes, slumberous with passion and my heart felt like it expanded in my chest. I was so filled with love. His love.
He kissed me lightly on the mouth and then pulled back. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered, before placing a lingering kiss at the hollow of my throat. “Absolutely beautiful.” His mouth traced a path to my ear. “And I love you very, very much.” His warm breath whirled in my ear and I shivered.
The tone of our actions changed from hot and frenzied to loving and reverent. Dan’s hand slid around my waist and moved down my rear end to the back of my thigh and ultimately landed behind my knee, which he grasped and lifted until my leg rested on his hip. His fingers traced their way back up my thigh, squeezed my bottom and stroked my stomach before tucking themselves into the waistband of my panties.
I trembled as his fingers grazed over me. He misunderstood my reaction. Kissing the tip of my nose, he said, “It’s okay.”
I was going to explain that I wasn’t worried, but his hand slipped down further into my heat and I couldn’t think. Dan growled deep in his chest as he slipped one finger inside me. In and out, in and out, in and out he pumped, and I arched my back, not sure of how to put out the fire he’d started within me.
I felt my panties being dragged down my legs, leaving me exposed to his eyes, to his touch. Dan moved me onto my back and rolled slightly, pinning my leg beneath his. His thick erection pressed against my thigh and I wanted to touch him, make him feel the sensations I was feeling, hoping I could make him feel them, but his chest blocked my access.
Again, Dan moved his hand down between my thighs and slid not one, but two, fingers inside. Pumping into me, his hand settled into a rhythm that nearly drove me insane. My once languid body tensed, searching for release. When Dan moved his thumb over and stroked the tiny nub of nerves, I came unglued. All the tension within me seemed to concentrate and twist into a tight knot at my very center before unraveling and exploding into sparks of sensation throughout my body. When I came back to my senses, Dan was watching me, a sweet, gentle smile on his lips.
“You’re amazing and so fucking beautiful.” He leaned down and kissed me softly. “I love you,” he whispered.
He ran his hand up my stomach to my breast. I was shocked when he ran his still slick fingers over my nipple, then proceeded to suck. I felt his groan as his tongue curled around the distended peak.
“So sweet,” he muttered against my swollen flesh.
He seemed to be slowing down, which I couldn’t understand. I wasn’t half as naïve as all that. I knew what should happen next, even if I’d never actually done it before. And while what I had just experienced was amazing, I was sure it would be even more incredible experiencing it with Dan inside me.
I shifted so I could reach down and unbutton his pants. I needed to touch him, taste him. I couldn’t believe my compulsion to do so, but it was there.
The button of his pants popped free and I slowly ran the zipper down its track. Dan held his breath as I reached inside and ran my hand up and down his length through his underwear. He felt so big, I wondered if he was going to fit inside me then laughed out loud at the thought. Of course he’d fit.
Feeling bold, I reached inside his waistband and touched him. Dan sucked in a breath and let it out in short choppy moans. I moved my hand up and down his hard length, fascinated by the various textures…the softness of the skin, the steel beneath. How something could be so hard, yet so soft w
as beyond me, but I was enthralled.
I grasped him in my fist and allowed my thumb to reach up and explore the plump head. Softer than the rest of his penis, I was amazed to find a warm bead of moisture at the tip. I slowly rubbed it into his skin and was surprised when it was quickly replaced by another.
I moved my hand in a rhythmic up and down motion, hoping he liked it, hoping I was doing it right. Dan’s hand closed over mine and I waited for him to tutor me, to show me how to pleasure him. Imagine my surprise when he unlocked my fingers from around him and removed my hand completely. He placed my palm flat on his chest over his pounding heart. His eyes were unfocused as he pulled in a long breath through his nose and let it out slowly through his mouth. Eventually his breath steadied and his eyes focused on mine once again.
“Why?” I croaked, not trying to hide my confusion. Tears burned at the back of my eyes.
Dan cupped my cheek with his large hand and brushed his lips over mine. “I love you honey, and I want you so much it literally hurts,” he said around a wry smile.
A tear escaped and rolled down my face. “I don’t understand. Why did you stop?”
He stroked the stray tear from my cheek. “Because when we make love for the first time, I want us to be married.”
“Married?” It was both the sweetest and most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. This isn’t 1950. “But why?” I felt like a broken record, but I truly didn’t understand.
“I just think it would make it special.”
“But,” I felt my lips tremble, “don’t you think it would be special anyway?”
He wrapped me into his embrace, tucking my head beneath his chin. “Oh God honey, I think it would be amazing.”
I pulled back so I could look at his face. “Dan, I love you. I want to be with you. I want to make love with you.”
He shook his head. “I…”
Before he could say another word, I ran my hand down his chest to his still erect penis. “Come on, Dan. We’ve been together for two years. I love you. Please make love to me.”
On the Mend (Carolina Waves Series Book 1) Page 9