On the Mend (Carolina Waves Series Book 1)
Page 18
“This is Jodi. Can I help you?” I heard through the phone, dragging me from my thoughts.
“Hey Jodi, it’s Sabrina.”
“Well, hello stranger. I thought you’d be calling me every hour on the hour for the past twelve weeks.”
“That’s not my style,” I said. “You know that.”
“So, how’s it going?”
“Good. Great actually. In fact I’d say my job here is done.”
“So he’s as good as new?”
“Pretty much. He just needs to build up his muscles again and he can do that with the team trainer.”
“You’re a miracle worker, Sabrina.”
“He did all the work.”
“Is that admiration I hear in your voice?” Jodi teased.
“Maybe.”
“Well, whatever it is, I’m glad everything worked out. I have to admit I was a little worried after your initial reaction to the assignment.” I didn’t comment. Jodi continued. “Your papers are drawn. You can have someone look at them when you get back, but I think you’ll be happy with the terms.”
Again, I didn’t comment. In fact, I was shocked that I’d totally forgotten about the partnership when it had been my main reason for coming here.
Or was it?
I just don’t know anymore.
“Sabrina?” Jodi yelled.
“What?”
“I asked when you’ll be back.”
“That’s, uh, that’s actually what I’m calling about.”
“Well?” Jodi dragged out the word theatrically.
“I’d like to take my vacation before returning. I figure you already have me off the schedule anyway.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you taking your vacation now?”
I didn’t think that’s any of her business, and told her so.
“Something happened, didn’t it?” I chose not to answer. “Between you and Dan?” Again, I didn’t answer, but Jodi drew her own conclusions. She let out a screech and said, “Oh Sabrina, I’m so happy for you. Jealous as hell,” she added. “But still happy.”
“Jodi don’t—”
“Don’t you worry. My lips are sealed,” she declared, which basically means that she’ll only tell fifty people instead of the usual hundred.
“Do you want your full four weeks?” she asked.
“Put me down for all four weeks. I’ll let you know if I’ll be in sooner. I know it’s easier to add me to the schedule than pull me off.”
“Okay. Will do.”
I ended the call and placed my cell on the desk, trying not to think too much about what I’d just done. In fact, I’ve been trying not to think too much about anything lately, because if I do, surely I’ll panic. I spun the leather chair around to face the window. Propping one foot up on the sill, I reclined slightly and settled in to enjoy the view.
“There you are,” Dan said, from directly behind me. “I wondered where you’d disappeared to.” He propped his hip on the edge of the desk as I turned to face him.
“I snuck in here to call Jodi and print a few things.”
Dan’s smile slipped slightly at the mention of Jodi, but he quickly recovered. “Lexi and I are heading out for ice cream and we were wondering if you’d like to come.”
“You two are trying to make me fat, aren’t you?”
He held up his hands as if in surrender. “Hey, we just invited you, you don’t have to come.”
I made a noise that was a cross between a laugh and a snort. “Like I can turn down a brownie a la mode.”
He grasped my wrist and pulled me toward him, sliding his hands around my waist. Squeezing lightly, he cocked his head to the side as if trying to decide something. Then he shook his head and kissed me lightly on the lips. “I’d say you’re perfect. If anything, you could stand to gain a few pounds.”
“God forbid.”
“True statement,” he said as he moved his hands to my back and pulled me closer still. I wrapped my arms around his neck. “At any rate, it doesn’t matter. I’d love you even if you weighed a ton.”
His eyes held mine, not allowing me to look away, not letting me ignore his words. The words he hadn’t said since we’d gotten back together. The words I knew were true for me as well, yet couldn’t bring myself to say back to him. Not just yet.
“Well, that’s good to know.” I attempted to sound light-hearted, but my voice was too hoarse with emotion to pull it off.
“I do love you,” Dan stated, more firmly this time.
I kissed him, hoping to show him what I couldn’t bring myself to say just yet. Dan let me take control, following my lead as I slanted my mouth over his, back and forth, enjoying the difference in texture between his soft lips and his five o’clock shadow before opening to get a better taste. Things were kicking up a notch when I heard a noise in the hallway. I pulled back from Dan and, leaning slightly to the side peered around his arm, but didn’t see anything.
“What’s wrong?”
“I thought I heard someone.”
He slid from my embrace and walked to the door. I tried to ignore how cold I felt without his arms around me, but wasn’t very successful. Thankfully, he returned to my side—or my front, as the case may be—immediately.
“I didn’t see anyone.”
“You don’t think it was Lexi, do you?”
Dan and I have been trying our best to keep our budding relationship from his daughter. She’s too attached to me as it is. I don’t want to get her hopes up about Dan and me, and be disappointed if it doesn’t work out.
He shook his head then lowered it to nibble on my neck. “She was playing Xbox. Nothing short of a nuclear blast would tear her away.” His breath fanned my skin, heating it, raising goosebumps at the same time.
“But what if it was her?”
I tried to keep my wits as he alternately nipped at and laved my neck.
Dan shrugged. “If it was, we’ll deal with it.” He lifted his head and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. “I don’t plan on keeping this from her much longer anyway.”
My initial reaction to his last statement was to panic. After all, Lexi has never met anyone Dan’s been romantically involved with, a fact that I have not only heard from Dan and various others, but also from Lexi herself.
So why me? Why now? Is he that sure of this relationship? Or is the fact that his daughter is already so attached to me motivating him to tell her about us?
I quickly dismissed the latter thought, knowing it would be much worse if I were to leave once Lexi knows we’re involved. I also know that Dan is that sure of this relationship. Even before I let him into my bed, he’d laid it all on the line. He wants me in his life. Permanently.
I’m the one with all the issues. I know I love him—have always loved him—but can I trust him? He hasn’t given me any reason to believe his intentions are anything but pure, but then he never did. Basically, it comes down to the fact that my heart wants to believe him, but my head doesn’t. Which will win out is anyone’s guess.
“Bri?” I could tell from his tone that it wasn’t the first time he’d said my name.
“Hmmm?”
“Are you okay?”
I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring way. “I’m great.”
Dan’s green eyes scanned over me as if to gauge the truth of my words. He must have been satisfied with what he saw, because he smiled then nodded and said, “Then let’s go get us some ice cream.”
26
Sabrina
As we drove to the ice cream parlor, my eyes kept straying to the man behind the wheel. Ray Bans shaded his eyes and a look of utter contentment covered his face. His right hand rested on his thigh, while the left one loosely gripped the wheel, his thumb tapping in time to the song on the radio.
He must have felt me watching him, because he turned his head my way. Even through the dark shades, his gaze burned me. “What?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
/>
“Why are you looking at me?”
“Maybe I just like looking at you,” I answered, honestly.
He seemed to think about that for a second before flashing a sweet smile. “Yeah?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
He inclined his head slightly toward me and in a stage whisper said, “I like looking at you too.”
His smile nearly melted my heart.
Snickering from the back seat pulled my eyes from Dan. I looked back and found Lexi and Tori grinning from ear to ear.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, trying to sound light-hearted.
Lexi removed her headphones from one ear and said, “Huh?”
“I asked what’s so funny?”
She and Tori shared a conspiratorial look before they both faced me once again. “Something funny happened in the video,” Lexi said.
They giggled again as Lexi replaced her headphones and turned up the volume on the iPad she and Tori were both plugged into.
I spooned the last of my ice cream into my mouth, then sat back and placed my hand on my overstuffed stomach.
“Why did you let me eat the whole thing?” I groaned. “I feel like I’m gonna bust.”
Dan chuckled. “Like I’m strong enough to stand between you and ice cream.”
“It’s my only vice…well, ice cream and coffee.”
I looked up at Dan and gasped. Actually gasped out loud. His eyes were practically devouring me. The air between us felt so charged, I expected the table to burst into flames.
“Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?” My core clenched at his low, husky tone. The abrupt change of subject, not to mention the let-me-fuck-you-right-now look in his eyes made me shiver. My mouth went instantly dry and other parts of my anatomy became instantly not so dry. I blushed, but it was more out of anticipation than embarrassment.
“Well?” he prompted.
“I, uh, I think you mentioned it when you snuck into my room this morning.”
“That was you?” My core clenched at his devilish smile.
“Don’t you recognize me without my messy hair and morning breath?”
He opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Lexi. “Can I have some more money, Daddy?”
Dan leaned forward and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. Flipping it open, he perused the contents. “Twenty is the smallest I have. Let me go get change.” He stood. “I’ll be right back.”
Once he was away from the table, Lexi jumped into his seat, a smile plastered across her face.
“Having fun?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Where’s Tori?”
“She’s over there.” She pointed across the room. “Playing pinball.”
“Pinball?” She nodded again. “I didn’t know kids still played that.”
She shrugged. “Sure we do.” Then, in the next breath, she said, “I saw you and Daddy kissing before.”
I tried to remain calm and think of something intelligent to say, but I felt like I’d been sucker-punched. “You did?” was all I could manage to squeak out.
She bobbed her head up and down. “Uh huh.”
I glanced in the direction Dan had disappeared, hoping to find him coming my way. I sighed. No such luck. I looked at Lexi’s smiling face again.
Well, at least she’s not upset about it.
“Do you guys do that a lot?” she asked.
“What?”
“Kiss.”
“Uh, no.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. After all, we don’t kiss half as much as I’d like to.
“Why not?” She actually sounded disappointed.
I prayed for Dan to return. “Uh, I don’t know.”
“Is it ‘cause of me?”
“No, definitely not.”
“Because if it is, I want you to know that I don’t care. If you kiss, that is.”
“You don’t?”
She shook her head and I watched her brown curls tumble around her shoulders. “I’ve been waiting for it to happen.”
“You have?”
Her head bobbed up and down again, and the curls tumbled back and forth. “For a long time.” She leaned forward, her elbows resting on the table between us. “I knew you’d come back.”
Before I could ask what, exactly, she was talking about, Dan reappeared and handed her a cup of tokens.
“Thanks, Daddy.” That said, she hopped off his seat and ran toward the game room.
“Why the frown?” Dan asked, as he slid into his seat.
“Lexi was outside the office earlier, and she saw us kissing.”
Dan’s eyebrows raised. “What did she say?”
“Well,” I dragged out the word. “She asked if we do that a lot, and when I told her we don’t, she told me we should. Then she said she’s happy.”
Dan let out a breath and sat back in his chair. He appeared to be deep in thought then he smiled. “Good.” He leaned forward and took my hand in his, then waggled his eyebrows. “And I agree with her…we should do it more often.”
I smiled at his words then frowned at my thoughts. Dan reached out and smoothed my brow.
“What’s wrong?”
I shrugged. “It’s probably nothing.”
“If it’s bothering you, it’s not nothing.”
“It’s just something she said.” His brow arched, urging me to continue. I told him the last two sentences his daughter had uttered and asked what he thought she meant.
“I have no idea,” he admitted, after thinking about it for a minute. “Maybe she’s still talking about when you went home for the weekend.”
“Maybe.”
“I’ll try to feel her out without sounding like I’m badgering her.” He took a drink of water. “I’m just glad she’s okay with our relationship. After all, she’s had me all to herself for eight years.”
“I really do admire you for all you went through to keep her in your life.” When he didn’t comment, I went on. “I imagine being a single parent is difficult enough, but with the life you lead, it must be near to impossible.”
Dan’s jaw tensed.
“The life I lead?” he asked, looking ready to pounce.
I nodded and took a sip of soda. “The travel, odd hours…”
“The parties, the women?” he asked.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You implied it.”
“I did not,” I said, utterly confused by his abrupt mood change. “I was trying to give you a compliment.” I felt my own temper rise, and fought like hell to tamp it down.
Dan’s glowing green gaze seared me. After what seemed like forever, he spoke in a semi-civil tone. “Do you think you’ll ever totally trust me?”
“I—”
“Are you going to try to deny the fact that you still doubt my sincerity?”
What could I say? I can’t lie…the man reads me like a book. And it’s not that I doubt his sincerity, I’m scared it’s not going to last. But that’s my issue, not his.
“I’m trying, Dan,” I said, not really answering the question, but hoping to placate him.
“Well, try harder,” he growled.
27
Dan
What the fuck is wrong with me? Sabrina made an innocent comment and I jumped down her throat. And I have no doubt her comment was meant to be a compliment. I don’t know why I reacted the way I did.
That’s not true. I do know why. I’m not sure if she’ll never trust me…really trust me…and it scares the hell out of me. Without trust as a foundation, we’ll never survive, especially considering my profession. I don’t want her ever wondering if I’m being faithful when she’s not with me. She needs to know deep in her heart that I’d never ruin what’s between us for some quick lay.
What can I do to make her understand? Make her believe?
Those questions had occupied me all through dinner and even through my evening workout. The only answer I came up with is that there’s nothing I can do. I can only love
her the best I can and hope she gets it.
With that settled, I made my way to Lexi’s room to deal with the next issue that’s been on my mind. She had already taken a shower and was waiting for me to tuck her in and read with her.
“Hey Lex,” I said, pushing her unlatched door fully open.
“Hi Daddy.” She sat cross-legged in the middle of her bed and struggled to run a brush through the full length of her hair.
I walked in, sat on the edge of the bed, and patted the spot next to me.
“Scoot over here and I’ll give you a hand.”
She crawled over, handed me her pink brush, and sat right in front of me. I slowly ran the brush through her hair, careful to avoid pulling the knots too hard. Instead, I gently worked them free until the I could go smoothly from root to tip before moving on to another section to repeat the process.
“Sabrina said that you told her you saw us kissing today,” I said. She nodded, pulling the brush from my hand. It snagged on a knot and hung in her hair. I chuckled. “Keep your head still.”
I untangled the brush and started the process of working through the knots again.
“Is there anything you want to ask me?” I asked. “Anything you want to talk about?”
She shrugged. “Not really.”
“Nothing at all?”
I know my daughter and can’t imagine she doesn’t have something to say.
“Are you guys gonna get married?” she finally asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s still pretty new. We’re just dating right now. It’s a little different because she’s living here, but we’re still getting to know each other.”
As I made a last pass through her now-smooth hair, Lexi turned to face me.
“But you already know each other,” she pointed out.
“Yes, but that was a long time ago. We need to get to know each other now.”
It was obvious she didn’t totally understand that, but didn’t seem like she was going to question it further.