by Jerry Cole
It was funny; they had all started the week thinking of Mickey as Atlanta, this weird celebrity entity. Now they all thought of him as Mickey, the guy that Bjorn had a crush on.
It was weird to him to think that he had a crush on a guy, but really, it was that he had a crush on Mickey. That felt right.
He would give Mickey some time to rest after he was done, maybe even catch him on his way back from the party. He didn’t want to overwhelm him with what he had to say. He turned the volume up on his phone so that the music drowned out all the noise coming from the hallway. The teams were starting to arrive back at the hotel and they were being loud. Bjorn had to have some time to think about best way to frame his idea.
He could only tell that someone was knocking on his door because of the shadow. He wasn’t even paying attention to the hallway, but the constantly moving shadow caught the corner of his eye, and he started to feel a little afraid. If this was Pink, he could just walk into the room without knocking. People usually didn’t make it a habit to hang out by his door.
It was a hotel, so it didn’t matter that there were people lingering in the hallway. Well, it didn’t matter in theory. In practice, it put Bjorn’s teeth on edge. The place where he lived with his teammates wasn’t exactly the nicest place in the city, and whenever there were people outside, it was usually a bad thing. That meant that someone was doing a drug deal near their house or that something illegal would start happening. He knew that wasn’t the case here, but years of living like that had made him feel uneasy. He yanked his headphones out of his ears and walked slowly toward the door. It was the first time that he noticed that the shadow was someone actively knocking on his door.
He swallowed, wondering whom it could be. For the most part, fans had left him alone. Not online, but in real life, they seemed to respect the space that he inhabited and get out of his way most of the time. Some had been excited to shake his hand, and he had never taken as many selfies as he had done that week, but other than that, things seemed to as they normally were. Well, except for his Twitter following, that had ballooned overnight. But the point was, no one had gone up to his room. He didn’t even think most people knew where his room was. He was running every possibility through his head as he slowly approached the door. He put his hand on the handle and opened the door slowly, knowing that it was a split second too late to use the peephole and feeling like an idiot for not doing it in the first place.
It didn’t matter anyway, because as soon as Bjorn saw that it was Mickey who was standing there, everything that he had been worried about flew out of his head. He hadn’t meant to, but he threw his arms around Mickey again, the way he had done when Mickey had first appeared at his door.
He didn’t know if it also reminded Mickey of that very first time, because Mickey hugged him back. He threw his arms around Bjorn’s waist and held him close, so close that Bjorn could smell his aftershave. The hug lasted for too long, and Bjorn was sure that people could see them, that maybe they were even taking pictures of them, but it didn’t matter.
As long as Mickey’s arms were around Bjorn, everything felt like it was right in the world. Bjorn wasn’t feeling insecure or worried about what was going to happen anymore. He was certain that this was what he wanted, and he was certain that they needed to talk.
It was a good thing that Mickey had arrived at his doorstep.
***
Once they finally broke off the hug, which felt like it only happened after a long, long time, Bjorn moved aside to invite him into his bedroom. He wished he had had more time to plan what he was going to say, but this had fallen into his lap and he knew that he would have to seize the opportunity. Mickey closed the door behind him, but before Bjorn could say anything Mickey’s lips were pressed on his own. Bjorn didn’t even think that the door was fully closed, but it didn’t matter then. The only thing that he could think about was the way that Mickey’s lips felt against his own and the way that his heart was beating in his chest. All that he wanted to do was kiss him back—no, not just kiss him back, he wanted to do so many more things. So many more, much dirtier things. Mickey seemed to be having the same thoughts as he did, because his breathing was quickened and he could hardly move away from Bjorn. He put his hands on Bjorn’s shoulders and looked into his eyes, smiling, but only a little bit.
It didn’t look as though his smile was reaching his eyes, though he seemed somewhat happy to be there. Bjorn wanted to ask him what was wrong, but he also didn’t want to upset him, and Mickey already looked a little upset, though Bjorn couldn’t understand why.
“Hey,” Bjorn finally said, when it seemed like Mickey wasn’t actually going to say anything. “Sit down. Are you okay? I’ve been wanting to see you…”
He wasn’t sure what else to say. Mickey was looking at him with a look that Bjorn didn’t think he had ever seen before. He wasn’t sure that he liked the look, because it was intense, but not in a good way, not in the lovely, intense way that Mickey seemed to always look at him.
Mickey nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed. He looked around the room, and for the first time since he had been there, Bjorn realized that it was a total disaster. The maid did her best to make the bed and put all their shit in one pile on the side of the room, but she was on a time crunch and it was obvious that she couldn’t do miracles. How small and dingy Bjorn’s room was when compared to Mickey’s also became extremely obvious as Mickey looked around the room, his eyes focused on the floor-level bed that Bjorn slept on every day.
He was feeling pretty embarrassed when Mickey stopped looking around the room and started to look straight at him. Now, from both the look on his face and the way that he was clenching and unclenching his hands, Bjorn could tell that something was wrong.
He didn’t want Mickey to be upset. He sat down next to him and put his arm around him, bringing him close. He hesitated at first, but then it didn’t matter; all that mattered was that he comfort him.
“We can’t,” Mickey said, looking at him, his eyes wide. “I can’t do this, Bjorn. That’s what I’m here to talk to you about. I keep closing my eyes and thinking and I just, ugh. My chest hurts. It literally hurts when I think about you. This is no way to live. That’s why I needed to talk to you, okay?”
“Okay,” Bjorn said. “But I don’t understand. I thought you said I had some time to think. You know, you said I could decide, and I told you I would. I did decide, Mickey. I have a plan.”
Mickey looked at him, cocking his eyebrow. He was obviously incredulous of whatever plans Bjorn might have. “You do?”
“Yes,” Bjorn replied, nodding enthusiastically. “But you were so busy lately, and I didn’t know when we could talk. I didn’t want to distract you from the game. Surely you get that.”
“No,” Mickey said quietly. “No, I get it, it’s just that I’m done letting you think about it. I thought I could live with giving you an ultimatum but I can’t. That’s no way to live, Bjorn. I can’t just go around wondering if you’re going to want more with me, and I want to be your first choice. I do. I don’t just want to be someone that you have sex with, and I told you this, but someone that you want to have a relationship with. And yes, it’s going to be messy and complicated but I want someone that goes for that with me because they think that I’m worth it. I don’t want to have to wait around for you to figure out that you don’t want me. I—I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I realize that my feelings for you are much bigger than I expected them to be. Even though we’ve only known each other for very little time, I already feel like you’ve changed everything for me. The thing is, Bjorn, you’re not allowed to do that.”
Bjorn stared at him. “What do you mean, I’m not allowed to do that?”
“I mean, you’re not allowed to do that,” Mickey said, throwing his arms in front of him as though he was asking Bjorn a question. “You’re not my boyfriend. You’re not allowed to do that, okay? Only someone like my boyfriend is allowed to do and you’re not.”
“Okay,” Bjorn replied. “Okay, I think I get it. Look, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, okay? I’ve come up with a plan. A perfect plan.”
Mickey looked at him. The incredulous expression wasn’t gone from his face. Probably for good reason, but Bjorn couldn’t help but be a little offended. It was obvious that Mickey had no faith in his plan, but then again, why would he? Bjorn barely had any faith in his own plan. He took his arm off Mickey and grabbed his hand, squeezing it instead. He thought that Mickey might find that reassuring, but Mickey kept looking at him as though he was saying the craziest things in the world.
“I know that you have no reason to believe in me,” Bjorn said after taking a deep breath. “I know that I’ve already let you down. Look, Mickey, I’ve been thinking about it a lot too, and I don’t just want the sex. I kind of wish I did, because it would make my life a lot easier, right? Hooking up with whomever, wherever I was. But I realized that wasn’t what I wanted. No, you’re what I want. You’re what I’ve wanted ever since I first saw you, ever since that party. It would have been so easy to just walk away and think that you weren’t, but you’re not. And yes, it does complicate my life. Does that mean that it’s not what I want? No, it absolutely doesn’t. It’s exactly what I want.”
Mickey kept staring at him. His eyes had widened and taken on a glimmer and there was the hint of a smile on his otherwise perfectly straight lips. “You do?”
“Yes,” Bjorn replied. “I want to be your boyfriend, too, Mickey.”
He was about to tell Mickey his plan, detail how that could happen, but before he could, Mickey was kissing him. It was deep, passionate kissing that soon turned into Mickey being on top of him, fumbling at the bottom of his shirt with his fingers and kissing him softly on the neck. Each kiss was enough to send an electrifying sensation all down Bjorn’s spine, through his back and to the ends of his fingertips. He leaned back as Mickey leaned on top of him and he could feel how fast Mickey was breathing over him, his chest expanding and contracting at the same rate as his stomach.
“That’s like, the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Mickey said, moving his face slightly away from Bjorn’s skin. “And you’re always so fucking sexy.”
Bjorn couldn’t help but giggle at the effect he seemed to be having on Mickey. It was so strange that only saying a few words was enough to get him as hot and heavy as he was right then, because Mickey normally had things so very under control. That this was the effect that Bjorn himself had on him.
Bjorn started to run his fingers through Mickey’s curly black hair as Mickey lifted his shirt up and kissed his chest, stopping to lick and nibble on his nipples a little. Then he grabbed the bottom of Bjorn’s shirt and started to take it off. Mickey moved away from him and almost gasped, as though Bjorn was the most beautiful thing in the world. If Bjorn hadn’t already been hard, that noise would have been enough to get him there in and of itself. Of course, he was already incredibly hard. Mickey’s touch, his hands, his lips, they were enough to get Bjorn going at any time.
He lifted up his arms to allow Mickey to take off his shirt and breathed shallowly as Mickey moved up. Then he kissed the top of his head and then moved down, kissing him slowly on the face, then the neck, then his chest. He spent a while kissing him on the stomach, his hand going slowly towards Bjorn’s crotch. Since he was wearing pajamas, his dick wasn’t exactly constricted, and Mickey seemed to love taking advantage of it. His hand wasn’t quite grabbing Bjorn’s dick, but it was rubbing on him enough that it was sending a pleasure wave all over his body. Bjorn loved being under Mickey, he wanted to be under Mickey all the time. Mickey seemed to be able to read his mind, because he started to peel off Bjorn’s pants.
At the sight of the yellow boxers, Mickey laughed quietly. Bjorn hadn’t expected that he would be coming around. If he had, he would have worn something a little bit more decent. He smiled, feeling how red his cheeks were as Mickey kissed his dick over the fabric of his boxers.
“You’re fucking incredible,” Mickey said. He was so quiet that Bjorn could barely hear him, but he was enthusiastic, and once he had peeled Bjorn’s underwear off, Bjorn could hardly help himself. His heart beating so fast and his breathing was so quick that it was hard to remember where he was, who was doing stuff between his legs. Every time he looked down and saw Mickey’s head, his heart started beating quicker. He hadn’t thought that was possible, but Mickey was showing him that plenty of things weren’t just possible, but likely.
Those things were always bound to happen when Mickey was around.
Mickey moved his face down and started to lick the underside of Bjorn’s erection. He did so slowly, all while he tugged at Bjorn’s already tight and ready balls. His tongue was incredible; it made Bjorn feel tiny explosions all over his body. His body always felt like a firework that had just been ignited when he was with Mickey.
Then Mickey wrapped his mouth around the head of Bjorn’s cock, and his hips started to thrust back and forth without him even doing it on purpose. It felt like it was something that was happening to him instead of something that he was doing, and he couldn’t deny that he liked it, no, not just liked it, that he loved it. The way that Mickey’s mouth felt around him, the way that his tongue felt as it circled the head of his uncircumcised dick was enough to bring him close to the edge. As soon as Mickey sped up a little, moving his head back and forth, Bjorn could barely form the words to announce that he was about to come. He choked out something that sounded like a warning and Mickey pulled his head back slightly as he helped Bjorn along with his hand. Bjorn came in Mickey’s mouth and Mickey drank it all up, hungrily, wiping his face with the back of his hand.
Bjorn saw him swallow and focused on the way that his throat looked when he did so. He looked so beautiful as he sat up and continued wiping his lips, getting the last bits off Bjorn off of him, as well as the saliva that had formed around the corners of his lips from getting throat-fucked.
Bjorn wanted to see him naked. He needed to see him naked. He needed to return the favor.
He needed to do it.
He knelt up and kissed Mickey on the mouth. Mickey opened his mouth, wrestling Bjorn’s tongue with his own. Mickey kissed him back, obviously just as excited as he was, and then he let Bjorn kiss his neck and then start to undo his buttons. Unlike Bjorn, his erection seemed to be trapped in his restrictive jeans. He wanted to kiss him, he wanted to tease him the way that Mickey had teased him, but he couldn’t really help himself. The moment that he saw Mickey’s dick, even constricted by his much more dignified black boxers, he knew that he had to have it. He wrapped his lips around Mickey’s erection and slowly started moving his head back and forth. He wanted to go much faster, but he also wanted to show Mickey exactly how good he had felt. He knew that there was very little chance of that, since Mickey was so much better and more experienced than him, but Mickey seemed to be into it all the same and he seemed to want him Bjorn to suck him off just as much as Bjorn was enjoying doing it.
“Yeah,” Mickey said, throwing his head back. “Yeah, oh my God. I’m going to come.”
“I want you to come in my mouth,” Bjorn said, moving his head away from him for a second. “Come in your boyfriend’s mouth, okay?”
That was all that it took. Mickey came, and he moaned at the same time, though it sounded more like a scream. He didn’t quite manage to do it in Bjorn’s mouth, though, because he shot his porn-sized load all over Bjorn’s face. He smiled. He loved it, it felt like Mickey was claiming ownership over him, and he loved that.
He wanted Mickey to own him. He wanted to become part of him, an important, incredibly important, almost fundamental part of his life.
He really, really wanted to be his boyfriend.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Once they were both done catching their breath and they were both laying down, one next to the other, Mickey finally felt like he could talk again. This was certainly not the outcome that he had sought out when
he had first knocked on Bjorn’s door, but it made sense. He wished it didn’t make sense, because he really did want to just talk to him. It’s just that when Bjorn had said that he wanted to be with him, there was no way that Mickey could help himself. Of course, he was supposed to be having a conversation with him, but if Bjorn wanted more than that, Mickey was definitely not going to get in his way. The last thing that Mickey wanted to do was stop him.
Especially if it was the last time that he was going to get to be with Bjorn. He didn’t want it to be the last time, but the possibility existed. After all, the reason Mickey had gone to Bjorn’s room in the first place was so that he could follow Syn’s advice and so that he could get some closure. And if that was going to be the end of their story, if that was going to be the end of Bjorn and Mickey, the people, and of Allegiance and Atlanta, the pro e-sports players, then Mickey couldn’t really think of a better way to put a stop to it than a last moment of passion.
There was no better way. Being around Bjorn did things to him, not just to his body, but to his soul. Mickey hadn’t expected those things, but they were wonderful. He couldn’t help but love them. He couldn’t help but love Bjorn for them. He swallowed, thinking about what that meant when things ended between them. Maybe Mickey would find somebody that allowed him to feel this way.
He doubted it. No one had ever made him feel the way that Bjorn had made him feel. He didn’t even realize that it was possible to feel that way until they were together. Until Bjorn was telling him that he wanted him to come for him, to come for his boyfriend.