Unworthy

by Evans, A. K.

  Trent crushed his mouth to mine.

  It was beautiful.

  Easily the best day of my life.

  And considering I hadn’t had many of those in the last few months, I savored every single second of it.

  One month later

  “Delaney?”

  “Meet me at our spot,” I requested, the despair in my voice undeniable.

  “I’ll be there in ten minutes, sweet cheeks,” Trent replied immediately.

  I disconnected the call and started my car.

  When I pulled up at our spot, Trent was already there. He got out of his truck and was at my door before I even had a chance to turn off my car.

  Opening my door, he held his hand out to me. I put my hand in his and stepped out.

  I didn’t wait for him to ask what was wrong. I just launched into it. “He’s changed,” I declared. “Ever since Mom died, my dad has become someone else. I’m trying to be understanding of what he’s going through, but it’s getting harder and harder. He doesn’t like me being with you.”

  Trent didn’t respond. He pulled me into a hug and held me tight to him. Some time passed before he reasoned, “He doesn’t have her anymore. He probably just wants to keep you close.”

  I shook my head. “No, that’s not it. He says horrible, horrible things about you. And he tried to get me to go on a date. One of the lawyers he knows has a son who’s a junior at Rising Sun High School. Apparently, this kid has already decided he’ll be following in his father’s footsteps.”

  Trent’s body tensed. “What?”

  “He always brings up your situation. My dad doesn’t think you can give me the life he wants me to have. He thinks I deserve better than you, someone who will make my life easier. He doesn’t want me to struggle.” Trent was quiet so long, I tipped my head back and looked up at him. “What are you thinking?” I asked.

  “He’s not wrong.”

  “What?”

  “I have no desire to become a doctor or a lawyer or a judge. Someone like that will easily be able to give you everything you deserve to have.”

  “Trent—” I got out before he cut me off.

  “But they won’t love you like I will,” he asserted. “They won’t break their backs every single day doing it for the privilege of having your heart in their hands. They’ll do it for the money, the status. They won’t do it because it’s what you deserve. They’ll do it because it’s what they want for themselves.”

  I stared at him.

  Trent continued, “Your dad can try to set you up with anyone he wants. They might have more than I have when it comes to money, but they won’t have what I have when it comes to the drive to be better. I’ll push every day to be something more, something better, because I want to be worthy of you.”

  I frowned.

  Trent chuckled and asked, “What’s that look for?”

  “What makes you think you’re unworthy of me?”

  His face softened. “It’s hard to hide the fact that I’m not exactly well off, Delaney. I’m okay with it as long as you know that it won’t be like that forever. I’ll be better than what I am now.”

  “I love you exactly how you are now, so I don’t want you to change. Money, or a lack of it, isn’t why I fell in love with you, Trent. I love how you make me feel. I love how you protect me. I love how you looked after me when my mom died. I love how every time someone tries to mess with me at school over Ben’s mom’s situation, you don’t let it happen. I love how you look at me all the time, but especially after you make me come. The look gets even better after you let me make you come. I love you, Trent Michaels. I love you for everything you are, not what you have.”

  The light in Trent’s eyes burned bright. “I need to kiss you now.”

  I didn’t make him wait.

  I pressed up on my toes and kissed him instead.

  Three months later

  I heard the loud banging at the front door.

  I didn’t know what to do.

  The two most miserable weeks of my life has passed. These weeks were miserable solely because I hadn’t seen or spoken to Trent.

  It wasn’t because I didn’t want to.

  I wanted to.

  I just couldn’t risk it.

  I couldn’t risk his future.

  So, I knew I’d do whatever I had to do to make sure the guy I loved remained safe.

  But Trent was growing more and more concerned.

  He’d called and left voicemail messages. He sent text messages. I hadn’t returned any of them.

  There was no way he was going to just stop calling. He wouldn’t just walk away. It was only a matter of time before he showed up here. In fact, I was surprised it hadn’t happened sooner.

  And it seemed he was here now, no longer willing to be ignored.

  It was best to just do this and get it over with. I had no choice. It would rip my heart out, but it was better than the alternative.

  I walked to the front door, opened it, and saw him standing there. He looked a mix of devastation and exhaustion. I knew I was responsible for that, and it hurt my heart.

  “Well, it’s good to know you’re alive,” he spat.

  “Trent,” I whispered.

  “What the fuck, Delaney?”

  I stared at him, memorizing his face.

  Trent must have realized what I was doing. “I don’t like that look,” he warned. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “Who the fuck is banging on the door?” my dad yelled from deeper inside the house.

  Trent’s eyes moved behind me. I had no doubt my father was standing there.

  When Trent’s eyes came back to me, the entire course of our relationship ran through my mind. I didn’t know it then, but the day he told Jared and his crew to leave me alone was the first day of what became some of the best days of my life.

  Because the very next day, I approached Trent at school and made sure I kept my promise to not be a stranger. And every day after that, we made the effort to see or talk with each other.

  For the next ten months, we became inseparable. During that time, I had no doubts that Trent was the love of my life. What we had wasn’t high school, puppy love. It was something so much more. Something built on trust and respect.

  Until that very moment. I made the biggest mistake of my life and trashed it, leaving the man I loved believing I thought the worst of him.

  “It’s over, Trent,” I stated. “We’re done.”

  He froze. “Delaney—” He got out before I cut him off.

  “You can’t give me what I deserve in life. It’s the beginning of August. You graduated from high school two months ago and you haven’t applied to any colleges. There’s no way it will work.”

  He took half a step toward me and started, “Sweet—”

  I cut him off and delivered one final blow. “You’re unworthy of me, Trent. You’ll never amount to anything.”

  Trent rocked back on his heels. It was as though I’d delivered a physical hit. The look in his eyes was one I knew I’d never forget. I didn’t just hurt him; I destroyed him.

  So I knew when he gave me one last look that I’d done it. I’d done what I had to do to keep him safe.

  I hated it. I hated myself. Not only because I hurt him the way I did, but also because I knew I’d never love anyone like I loved him.

  And when he turned and walked away, taking my heart with him, I knew it was the last time I’d ever see him.

  Present Day

  “Are you watching him tonight?”

  That question came from my co-worker, Cruz Cunningham.

  For the last several months, I’d been working on a case at my job with two other guys in the private investigation firm Cruz’s brother owned, Cunningham Security. An arsonist was setting fires to the businesses in town, but he’d remained elusive. We’d been left scratching our heads, but finally got a clue a few days ago that led us to a suspect. Instead of jumping the gun and going after him, we decided it’d be
better to have constant surveillance on him. When he made his next move, we’d take him out and have the evidence to put him away.

  This is precisely who Cruz was referring to when he asked his question.

  The two of us were at Colvert’s, the café around the corner from the Cunningham Security office building. Cruz and his fiancée were regulars here; I stopped in frequently, but not nearly as often. Tonight, I’d be up all night and knew it’d help to have the coffee to get me through.

  “Yeah,” I started, setting my cup of coffee down on the table. “And I hope he makes a move soon because I’m not sure how long Locke is going to last.”

  Cruz pulled his brows together and jerked his head back. “Why’s that?”

  Holden Locke was one of our co-workers, and he was working on the case with me.

  I grinned at Cruz and explained, “He seems to have developed a fondness for the owner of the yoga studio that was torched a couple days ago. Considering she was inside when it happened, he’s even more determined to see this thing through.”

  A knowing look washed over Cruz’s face. “Well, let’s just hope he doesn’t let his emotions get the best of him before this is resolved.”

  “He’s too smart and already in way too deep to let that happen,” I declared.

  Cruz shook his head, smiling. “It’s only a matter of time before we’re all down for the count.”

  I let out a laugh and challenged, “I’m not so sure about that.”

  “Are you kidding?” he retorted. “If Locke’s got his sights set on this yoga chick, then there’s only three of you left. I’m putting my money on you. Though, I’m not sure Tyson and Hayes aren’t far behind.”

  Shaking my head, I warned, “If you want to win that bet, you’d be better off with one of them.”

  Before Cruz could answer, his phone rang. Pulling it out of his pocket, he slid his finger across the screen and held it to his ear. “Hey, Princess. You done?”

  He was silent while he waited for who I now knew was his fiancée, Lexi, on the phone to answer.

  “Alright. I’m leaving Colvert’s now. I’ll pick you up and we’ll head over.”

  He listened to her response before he ended, “Love you, too.”

  Pulling the phone from his ear, he divulged, “Wedding shit.”

  I grinned and joked, “That’s even more of a reason you should put your money on Tyson or Hayes. I’m not interested in dealing with that.”

  “Tell me about it,” he started. “Today’s agenda is wedding photographers.”

  That didn’t make any sense. “Isn’t your sister-in-law a photographer?”

  “Yep,” he answered, clearly not amused. “But we want Emme in the wedding, so now we’re searching. Or, I should say, Lex is searching and I’m just going where I’m told.”

  I laughed. “Good luck.”

  “Yeah. See you later.”

  “Later.”

  Cruz turned and walked out, while I sat there finishing the last of my coffee. I nearly succumbed to giving the conversation I had with Cruz a bit of space in my head when the café went haywire.

  “He’s choking! Oh God. Call 911! Please! Help! He’s choking!”

  My eyes fell on the scene as I immediately moved across the room to where a woman was struggling to get a baby out of the highchair. Nobody was attempting to help the woman. Instead, they all stood by and watched her struggle.

  I got it.

  People couldn’t help themselves. They’d watch. They’d stare. But rarely would they ever step in and do the right thing.

  In a situation like this, especially these days, there was too great a chance that if something bad happened they’d be sued. It didn’t matter how good their intentions were.

  I didn’t care.

  Tuning it all out, even the mother who was screaming beside him, I focused on my mission to help him.

  The moment the little boy, who couldn’t have been more than six or seven months old, was within my reach, I expertly unfastened him from the highchair and held his little body over my arm. I gave him several quick firm hits to the back between his shoulder blades.

  Nothing.

  I turned him over, placing his little body on my lap as I sat down. Keeping his head slightly reclined, I pressed two fingers to the center of his chest and delivered five thrusts.

  Still nothing.

  Flipping him over the length of my forearm again, I delivered the blows to his back.

  When that still didn’t work, I returned to the chest compressions.

  Once too much time had passed without him getting any oxygen, I threw my arm out in front of me and shoved everything off the table to the floor. Placing the baby on his back, I started to perform infant CPR.

  I hadn’t ever needed to perform it in a real-life situation, but I’d learned how to do it years ago.

  After two sets of chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth breaths, he recovered. I quickly rolled him over my forearm face down again, keeping his head below his chest.

  Suddenly, the scene surrounding me came to life again and I felt the mother’s hands wrap around my shoulder while she lowered herself down in front of her son. Tears streamed down her face, the distress she felt plain as day. When her eyes came to mine, she rasped, “You’re a hero.”

  A hero.

  I’d heard that term a lot in my life.

  It wasn’t a surprise, considering I’d joined the Marines not long after I’d gotten out of high school. Even still, I never could get used to hearing it. Someone should hardly be called a hero for doing the right thing to help someone else.

  I stood from the chair, keeping the boy firmly across my arm as I monitored his breathing. Seconds later, the paramedics rushed through the door.

  Handing him off, I quickly briefed them.

  At that point, the paramedics took over. I took a step back to give them some room to do their thing.

  That’s when my phone rang.

  “Michaels,” I answered.

  “It’s go time,” Holden said. “The Rusty Spur. Now.”

  Instantly realizing what was happening, confident that the little boy was in good hands, I moved toward the door.

  “Wait!”

  I turned to see the mother striding toward me.

  “You saved him,” she stated. “You can’t go yet.”

  Giving her a look of remorse, I explained, “Sorry, ma’am, but I’ve got to go.”

  “How can we thank you? What’s your name?”

  Quickly, I shared, “There’s no thanks needed, ma’am. Just see to your boy.”

  “He’s not mine. His mother will want to thank you for saving him,” she pleaded. “She’s on her way here now to meet us.”

  Taking in a deep breath because I knew I needed to get out of there, but also didn’t want to be an asshole to her because I didn’t have the time to wait around, I disclosed, “I work for the private investigation firm around the corner. Cunningham Security. She can find me there.”

  She nodded her understanding and I took off.

  I was staring at the wall of computers in front of me. Finally, I was back in familiar territory. I’d always been somewhat of a whiz on a computer, so I spent a lot of my time working behind the scenes of the cases our firm took on.

  Working on a computer was where I felt most useful in my career, but it was important to me that I kept my mind fresh and my skills up to par. For that reason, I requested that Levi assigned me a case out in the field every so often. While I worked a field case, I still did a fair amount of work with my other co-workers, digging on the computers for information that wasn’t so easily found.

  But I really craved being able to get out sometimes and use what I knew. Thankfully, Levi knew I could handle both sides of the job and worked to give me a case in the field every so often. Some were quick and easy. In those instances, I’d ask for extra. Other cases took much more time. Just like the arson case we’d closed a few days ago.

  That case had ta
ken months of our time. So, as refreshing as it had been in the beginning to work on something different, I was happy to finally be back behind my desk. I needed the change of pace and the ability to focus my mind back on what I excelled at most.

  I had quite a bit of work piled in front of me. Most of it was run-of-the-mill private investigator stuff, so I knew none of it would be extraordinarily challenging. And considering the last few months, it was precisely what I needed. Even still, it was going to take some time to get through considering just how backed up I’d gotten when Holden, Pierce, and I were alternating nights following the arson suspect.

  No sooner had I settled in for a long day of work when I heard a knock at the door to my office. The door was opened, so I looked up and immediately saw who was there.

  Pierce was standing there looking a bit off.

  “What’s up? Everything okay with you and Zara?” I asked.

  Zara was Pierce’s woman. She’d recently moved out to Windsor from her hometown back in Pennsylvania and she’d been through some trying stuff. Luckily, she’d found a good man in Pierce. They’d been solid ever since they started, so the look on his face bothered me enough to worry that something had happened between them.

  “We’re fine. She’s great,” he shared. Pierce paused for a brief moment, cocked an eyebrow, and asked, “Did you save a baby the other day?”

  It took me a moment, but I recalled the incident and confirmed, “Oh, yeah.”

  “Oh?” he repeated. “You saved a baby and you forgot to mention it?”

  I shrugged it off. “It was the day Holden called and we finally got our guy. I completely forgot about it.”

  Pierce didn’t hide the grin from spreading on his face before he stated, “You’re the only guy I know who can forget something like that.”

  Not wanting to make a big deal of it because I didn’t think it was something that needed to be made a big deal of, I asked, “How do you even know that?”

  “I was just out in the reception area and two women walked in,” he started. “One was carrying a baby and the other was rattling on about how you rescued him. She didn’t know your name, but based on her description of you, it wasn’t hard to figure out. Anyway, they stopped in to see you. I guess the mother wants to thank you.”