Mason's Regret

by Odessa Lynne

  Five noticed though, and he let out another soft growl that sent a sharp tingle along Mason’s every nerve.

  “Fight,” he said. “Fight for your right to deny me.”

  It was a trap.

  Mason swallowed his pride, forced back his anger, and said, “No. I’m not gonna fight you.”

  He knew what Five was doing. He might’ve done it himself if their situations were reversed. Five couldn’t have the justice he wanted, so he was trying to find a way around his own goddamn rules.

  “I submit,” Mason said. “I said I would and I do. I submit. Fuck me if that’s what you want. Make me pay for what I’ve done. I’m not going to try to stop you. I submit.”

  Five stared down at him, eyes lit with some inner fire that slowly faded, until all that was left was a brilliant blue sadness that shook Mason to his core. The pressure at Mason’s wrists eased.

  “Fucking is for pleasure or breeding, not punishment. If I used your submission to punish you, I would be ashamed to call myself Alpha.”

  “So you’re not going to fuck me?” Hope flared, too bright, too real, and it made him feel like a coward, afraid of something he’d been telling himself all along he wasn’t afraid of.

  Five adjusted his hold on Mason’s wrists and lowered his head to put his mouth to Mason’s ear. “I survived my heat without you this morning, but it wasn’t pleasant and I don’t wish to do it again. But I can’t push aside this anger I feel in my heart and I cannot mate you while it lingers.”

  No sex. Thank God. Mason’s entire body went lax under Five with the relief that surged through him. Until that moment he wouldn’t have believed he was hanging on to so much nervous dread of something as common as sex, but the sudden release he felt made it impossible to deny.

  “As much as I regret your past,” Five continued, “I can’t change it. But I can help you make better decisions in the future. And I can accept your submission when you’re ready to ask forgiveness for the things you’ve done.”

  “I wouldn’t.”

  Hot breath tickled Mason’s ear. “You will.”

  “No. I mean I wouldn’t forgive me. You shouldn’t either.”

  He wasn’t expecting the teeth that scraped over his earlobe, making a shiver race through him and causing him to suck in his breath.

  “Forgiveness is earned,” Five breathed into his ear, “and you will earn it.”

  “Will I?” Goddamn, but he sounded like his voice was going to crack at any minute. He couldn’t decide if he was comfortable with what Five was doing at his ear or not, but he also couldn’t say he wanted him to stop.

  Five’s lips touched Mason’s neck and the hard line of his nose slid behind the shell of Mason’s ear. “You smell like my future, and my past. Your scent sets fire to my senses.”

  The next soft huff of breath made every hair on Mason’s body rise in reaction.

  “I told you submission would have rewards.”

  Smooth skin brushed Mason’s own beard-shadowed jaw and it was impossible to ignore the warmth spreading through him. He let out a breath a little too abruptly, a little too close to a gasp.

  He made fists with his hands and tried to keep his focus on Five’s words and not the feel of a hot mouth at his throat. He shut his eyes, but that only made every brush of Five’s lips over his skin more noticeable, so he stared up at the ceiling instead.

  Then the warm pressure disappeared, and Five released Mason’s wrists and sat back.

  Cool air swirled over the damp skin at Mason’s throat and ear, teasing him with unwanted sensation. Mason brought his arms down and stared up at Five, wondering at the slight tilt to his mouth, wondering if he could trust the intuition that told him Five’s anger wasn’t quite what it had been, that Five might even be amused, although by what, Mason wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

  That goddamn voice in his head made sure he knew anyway. You’re not gay, remember? But you wouldn’t know it by the way your dick is acting. He can feel it.

  Fuck you, he answered back.

  It wasn’t like his dick was hard, it just wasn’t as soft as it had been. And he could probably blame the adrenaline flooding through his veins for that.

  Five tilted his head, one thick eyebrow arching. “You’re mine now, and your duty to your alpha is submission. You will submit, and through submission, you’ll earn your forgiveness and we will mate. Until then, you’ll be my heat mate, and I’ll show you some of the pleasures we’ll have as mates.”

  Mason went utterly still. He didn’t take his next breath until his lungs burned.

  He should’ve known his lack of understanding of the wolves’ language was going to fuck him over. The wolves had a lot of words that translated to “mate” and “fuck” and “sex” but not all of them meant the same thing.

  Somehow, someway, he’d gotten the idea that everything Five had been telling him meant they wouldn’t be having sex—not now, maybe not ever.

  That wasn’t what Five had been saying at all.

  They were going to fuck. And if the look on Five’s face was anything to go by, they were going to fuck sooner rather than later.

  Mason gripped the outside of Five’s muscular thighs. “I’m not gay. I wasn’t just saying that to convince you to leave me alone. I’m not attracted to you.”

  Five let out a soft snort.

  Mason scowled. “This won’t end well. Heat season doesn’t last forever, and when it’s over, my human scent isn’t going to be that—Hey!”

  Mason grabbed at Five’s wrist, but it was too late.

  Five jabbed one of his claws into the ragged bottom of Mason’s t-shirt and ripped the fabric apart all the way up to the collar. He let the remains of the shirt fall open.

  The rush of cool air over Mason’s chest tightened his nipples.

  Five’s gaze fixated at the center of Mason’s chest. “You should have taken advantage of the shower. Your clothes are filthy. So is the bedding. So are you.”

  “You didn’t have to tear my shirt off.” He fought the urge to cross his arms. He felt exposed, uncomfortable with the way Five was staring at him.

  Five’s eyebrows went up. “But I wanted to.”

  “And you always get what you want.”

  “I am Alpha.” As if that explained everything.

  “And I’m not gay. So what?”

  “So now you take off your trousers.”

  “Or you’ll rip them off me?”

  Five’s blue eyes flickered across Mason’s chest and down his belly to his groin. “If you’d like me to.” He sounded almost wistful. “I have no doubt I would enjoy it.”

  Mason shoved at Five’s legs. “Get the fuck up. Of course I don’t want you to rip off my goddamn pants. This is going to be enough of an ordeal without—”

  Five’s forefinger landed on Mason’s lips. “This will not be an ordeal. Without the thrill of a chase, it won’t be all that it could be for me, but for you—”

  “How the fuck is this even real? You’re going to rape me and—and—” He’d sworn to himself he wasn’t going to use the R word, he’d sworn, and yet there it was, a dead weight in the air between them, and hearing it disturbed him enough that he couldn’t figure out what the fuck he wanted to say.

  Five’s eyes narrowed. “Expecting submission from a mate is not rape.”

  “You people don’t even know what the goddamn concept of rape means, do you?”

  “You’re mistaken.” Five flattened his hands against Mason’s stomach, making him suck in his breath in a hurry as Five’s claws poked at his skin. “If you don’t wish to mate, you can choose to fight.”

  “And I’ll lose, do you think I’m stupid or something?”

  “I doubt very much that you’re stupid. The “or something” I have no knowledge of. I look forward to discovering more about your strengths and weaknesses in the days and months to come.”

  Mason made a sound of denial. “This is fucking ridiculous.”

  Five reached out
and feathered his fingers through the hair beside Mason’s temple. His touch was strangely gentle and it stirred an odd feeling in Mason’s gut. “You demand respect for your ways, but you don’t give any in return.”

  “You take away our free will and tell us we’re just supposed to accept it because that’s your way.”

  Five’s other hand flexed on Mason’s belly. “You think we don’t understand what it means to have our free will stolen from us?”

  A bitter laugh escaped Mason’s throat.

  “I don’t. I don’t think you understand at all what we’re going through now that you’re here, making yourselves at home on our planet, demanding we submit or fight, even though you know damn well we’ll die if we do.”

  Not a flicker of softness touched Five’s expression. “The human scent steals our free will at a time when we’re most vulnerable to the instincts that have ruled our lives for longer than your species has had language. And the only way we can escape that theft is to drug ourselves until we can barely recognize the scent of a mate—or better yet, to stay as far away from humans as possible. And yet…”

  Mason pressed his lips together. He was going to lose this goddamn argument. He knew it and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

  “Humans rail about how we’ve stolen their freedom and land and free will even as they invade the only safe haven we have during the heat, to hunt us and kill us, and to try to drive us off this world. You believe your free will’s been taken, but I ask you to answer honestly, did you not have a choice when you crossed the border between safety and here? Because I had no choice in that. If I hadn’t already had drugs running through my system, I would have claimed and mated you without regard for your human weaknesses. If you had refused to submit, you would have died of injuries I could not help inflicting. And I’m the one who would have to live with that knowledge for the rest of my days, not you.”

  “It’s not the same.”

  Five’s weight shifted over him subtly, his fingers flexing against Mason’s skin. “An evenly matched fight inflames our senses. In a normal world, I would choose not to mate someone too weak to fight. But this world isn’t normal, not for us. Human scent destroys our ability to choose who we’ll mate. You’ve already said you believe I won’t want you when heat season ends. If you don’t believe my free will has been stolen, why do you believe that my senses can’t be trusted?”

  “I’m telling you, it’s not the same.”

  Five tilted his head. “Why?”

  “It just isn’t.”

  “But why?”

  “It just isn’t, goddammit!”

  “If you can’t answer the question, say so.”

  “This is ridiculous.” Mason blew out a hard breath. “Let’s just fuck and get this over with. I’m tired of you playing with my head.” He reached for Five’s hand and dragged it down his body, thoroughly aware of the fact that the only reason he was able to do it was because Five let him. He pressed Five’s hand to his groin. “Play with something else for a while.”

  Chapter 10

  It had taken a lot of nerve for Mason to do what he did. So he was surprised when Five pulled his hand free and dragged his knuckles across Mason’s belly before taking hold of the waistband of Mason’s jeans. “Fucking will have to wait. First I’m going to clean you. Your hair smells of someone else’s urine and blood and I don’t want either of those scents in my bed when we mate.”

  Mason grimaced, remembering just how he’d come by those scents—landing face-first in Stan’s piss-soaked lap.

  He really should have taken a shower. But after he’d been locked in the room, he’d been worried someone would come for him, so he’d just washed his face and hands, taken a quick piss in the toilet, and swallowed as much water as his stomach could hold. After the long walk through the woods, his clothes had been mostly dry, so he’d sat on the edge of the bed and waited. Two hours later, he’d given up the wait, kicked off his boots, and stretched out on the bed. He’d been asleep within minutes.

  Five climbed off the bed and dragged Mason up with him.

  Mason lurched to his feet, then eyed the open door to the bathroom. “What do you mean exactly when you say you’re going to clean me?”

  “Exactly what I said.” Five pushed Mason around by his shoulder, then stripped Mason of the remnants of his t-shirt by dragging it down Mason’s arms.

  Suddenly Mason was standing there in nothing but his jeans and socks and feeling so goddamn naked he wanted to grab his ruined t-shirt and hold it in front of him like some tenth-grade virgin.

  Five tossed the t-shirt to the floor a few feet away. “Take off your trousers.”

  Mason muttered, “Goddammit,” under his breath. But he reached for the zip and unfastened his jeans. Dried mud made the fabric stiff, but he got them off without too much trouble. When he looked up, he caught Five staring at his hairy thighs and a dull heat spread through him. He didn’t know what to do with his hands so he rubbed his nose self-consciously.

  “Your underwear,” Five said, but this time his voice sounded different, the soft accent thicker, his voice deeper and more ragged.

  Mason’s blood thrummed through his veins, gaining speed as his heart took up a faster beat. Was this it? Was Five about to go into the lust-crazed frenzy Mason had been half-expecting from the moment they met?

  Softly, Five said, “Submit to your alpha’s will.”

  Mason jolted into action. He slipped his thumbs under the waistband of his underwear and carefully pushed the dark fabric off his hips and down his legs. He found himself hesitating to straighten and meet Five’s gaze when he was done, and when he finally did, it was to find Five staring at his cock.

  “You haven’t cut yourself.” There was a curious edge to his voice. “Why not? I’ve heard that some humans do.”

  Mason shrugged. “I don’t know. I never asked.”

  “Who would you ask?”

  Mason raised one foot to take off his sock, trying his damnedest to act like standing around naked in front of Five was no big deal. “They do it when you’re a baby most of the time, I think. I guess I’d ask one of my parents, but I never did. Or if I did, I don’t remember.”

  “It makes no sense.”

  “It matters to some people, that’s all I know.”

  “I’ve never touched a human penis.”

  Five had barely moved his hand when Mason hopped back, out of reach.

  Five nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed. He closed his hands on Mason’s upper arms and dragged him forward.

  “I’ve tried not to hurt you, but you haven’t made it easy. Stop fighting submission and submit.” Five’s emphasis on that final submit came in a dark tone that brooked no argument. Then he closed his mouth over the base of Mason’s throat, all hot breath and scraping teeth, and Mason damn near whimpered.

  Maybe he did and he just didn’t want to admit it.

  Five dragged his teeth along the column of Mason’s throat and then across his collarbone to his shoulder.

  A shudder coursed through Mason. He was embarrassed to realize his cock was taking notice, and his breath stuttered out in a shaky exhale. “What’d I do?”

  But he knew. He kept forgetting everything he’d learned in the heat survival training, number one being “submit.” Submit, submit, submit. And that meant keeping his mouth shut, staying calm, and not—definitely not—making sudden movements that a wolf might mistake for a desire to fight instead of mate.

  Wolves could fight and suffer horrific injuries and still live to fight another day, but not him. He couldn’t heal the way—

  Matthew.

  And that was where Mason’s thoughts skipped from one track to another and suddenly he knew that whatever was happening to him and Marcus had something to do with his cousin and the wolves.

  Matthew was the link in the chain between Mason and Marcus and a sudden, inexplicable ability to heal wounds faster than humanly possible. Matthew thought no one knew about his ac
tivities with the wolves, but Mason knew. He’d known almost from the start.

  He would never forget the night Matthew had come in after a three week absence with a strip of fabric wrapped tight around his thigh on the outside of his bloody jeans, a limp, and a bullshit explanation about a knife fight at one of the few bars still open two counties over. The next morning, Matthew hadn’t been wearing a bandage of any kind and he hadn’t been limping. Just a flesh wound, he’d said, waving away Mason’s questions.

  But Mason had found that goddamned strip of fabric in the trash and it had been soaked with blood. He’d known there was more to that story but he’d kept his mouth shut and let Matthew keep his secrets.

  Just like he’d let Marcus keep his when he’d started going out alone, night after night without Mason, and Mason had thought it was all about the events of three years ago.

  And then—

  Overhearing Jay and Sebastian. Like Matthew? She wanted him alive.

  It all made sense, in a terrifying rush of connections and memories.

  Five had been dragging his mouth along the ridges of Mason’s shoulder, but Mason’s sudden stillness must have caught his attention, because he raised his head. “What’s wrong?”

  “You have to let me make a call. It’s important.”

  Five’s gaze flickered over Mason’s face, as if he were actually considering Mason’s request. “You cannot contact anyone outside the den until you’ve earned my trust.”

  Mason wasn’t above begging, not for this. “Please. I’ll do anything. Just let me make one call.”

  That fierce gaze softened, and for a moment, Mason thought maybe he’d get what he wanted. But no, he understood that look. He knew what was coming.

  Five released Mason and took a single step backward. “What you ask isn’t possible.”

  “You don’t understand. I just realized that those goddamned men with me in that building might have hurt one of my family. They might have killed him. I need to—”

  Five pressed his finger to Mason’s lips.