Monty

by Tina Martin

  I can’t ignore the issue and say nothing. Can’t do that to her. And if I want a future with Cherish, I have to cut any ties to Paige. Doing so would mean I forfeit everything.

  Cherish is not the type of woman who would accept the fact that I’m a married man. Circumstances don’t matter. Her moral compass won’t allow her to be with me and if I can’t be with her…

  I don’t want the thought of it to take over my mind.

  * * *

  I spent the rest of the day agonizing over this. I can’t blame my mother. Can’t blame anyone but myself. It’s ten o’clock and I’m still at the office trying to come up with a scenario where I can get everything I want, including Cherish. Nothing is making sense.

  I’m exhausted. Hungry, but I couldn’t eat if I had a big plate of food in front of me. All I want is to be near my angel. I pack up, drive to her house. Her car is in the driveway. The porch light is on. I let myself in and deactivate the alarm. Since the alarm has been installed on her house, she feels more secure. She doesn’t lock her bedroom door any longer. She’s somewhat back to normal – whatever normal means.

  I walk into her room. The bedside lamp is on. She’s asleep but her sleep doesn’t look planned. Her hair is loose and wild. She’s lying on top of the covers. She has on a thin, spaghetti strap pajama top. No pajamas. Just panties. Looks like they’re the same flimsy fabric as her top.

  As I’m removing my clothes, my eyes trace her frame. Her chocolate legs. Toned arms. And her hair – I want to swim in it. She looks so peaceful, I don’t want to disturb her, but I have to. I need to kiss her lips. Need to feel the love she has for me before I tell her about Paige. I know it’s selfish. I normally wouldn’t do something like this, but I can’t shake the need. Not this time.

  “Cherish.” I say her name in a whisper hoping my voice will be enough to keep her calm since she has no idea I’m here. I don’t want to scare her. Don’t want her to think I’m an intruder. “Cherish.”

  “Hmm,” she hums and turns over, adjusting her position. Her eyes never open. Her hair falls differently. She’s out.

  I ease on the bed, stroke her hair for a moment and call her name again. Her eyes open this time.

  She stretches. “Monty?” She glances around the room. “What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to see you.”

  She stretches, rises up to an elbow. “You wanted to—”

  Before she can say another word, I stuff my tongue into her mouth. I kiss her deeply. Make every lick, every stroke count for something. I savor her tongue. Make love to it.

  She hums.

  Moans and hums.

  I crawl on top of her until her back is flat on the bed again, my weight holding her in place.

  She moans as we kiss. I feel her hands on my back. They’re hot. A fire has been set to me.

  I deepen the kiss, allow my tongue to linger in her mouth, while her hands explore and grip my muscles.

  I hear desire and need in her moans.

  I need her.

  I’m selfish. Greedy. I want her.

  “Mmm,” I say, pulling my mouth away from hers. I stare down at her for a moment, losing myself in her big, brown eyes when I say, “I love you, Cherish. No matter what, I’ll always love you.”

  “What?” she asks, frowning.

  I ignore her, leave kisses all around her neck, making her body shiver.

  “Monty,” she whispers.

  “Yes, baby?” I say before flicking my tongue across her earlobe.

  “Ahh,” she hums. Her body shivers but she manages to ask, “What does that mean?”

  Her question irritates me, yet makes me want her even more. It proves how much she really knows me. “What are you talking about?” I ask.

  “I’m talking about what you just said. No matter what, you’ll always love me. What does that mean?”

  “It means what I said.”

  “But why are you saying it like that—like something’s about to go down. What’s wrong, Monty?”

  “Everything’s okay, sweetheart. Just kiss me.”

  “Monty—”

  “Kiss me,” I request, as my lips touch hers.

  She releases her worries and gives me her lips. I take them, devour them. My body feels like it’s glued to hers. Meshed with hers. I’ve never kissed lips so sweet. Never knew I could crave a woman so much. That I could love a woman like this. She means everything to me – the woman who’s put me in touch with my true emotions. The woman that made me feel. Made me come alive and from beneath the rock that had been restricting me from happiness. I love her. What am I supposed to do without her?

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Cherish

  I open my eyes in the morning and see Monty beaming back at me. He’s just standing there, leaning up against my dresser, watching me.

  He doesn’t blink.

  Doesn’t smile.

  He’s stoic.

  I knew something was bothering him last night. This confirms it.

  He’s fully dressed. Has on a suit, but not the jacket. His arms are crossed.

  He frowns.

  “Monty?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good morning,” I say.

  He uncrosses his arms, slides them into his pockets. “Morning.”

  I crack a smile. “Why are you just standing there?”

  “We need to talk.”

  A chill automatically runs through me.

  “O-okay.”

  “I’ll be in the kitchen,” he says, then walks out of the room.

  I guess he’s going to wait for me in the kitchen…

  I get out of bed, brush my teeth, wash my face and slide into a robe. About fifteen minutes later, I join him in the kitchen. He’s sitting at the dinette. I pull out a chair and brace myself for whatever it is he needs to tell me. He’s clearly at a quandary so I know it’s not good and what really bothers me is, I have no idea what it could be. We’re fine. Everything is good between us – at least I thought it was.

  “Hey. What’s up?” I ask in an upbeat tone, trying to keep the mood light, but I don’t think it’s working.

  No, it’s not working.

  He looks up at me and I can see trouble in his eyes. He says, “I—uh—”

  He doesn’t know where to begin. Monty isn’t usually this way. He knows what he wants to say and just says it. His being extra careful is a sign he’s treading softly.

  He makes another attempt and says, “I signed some documents as a part of my father’s will to gain control of the company and in it, I had to choose a wife.”

  He breaks eye contact with me and looks down at the floor while shaking his head. “It had to be done. I wasn’t with anyone then and I didn’t care about a woman or being in a relationship. I didn’t care about anything but the company and the money, so I tasked mother with taking care of it for me, and—”

  “She chose Paige for you,” I say because it’s all making sense now. Paige walks around like she’s the queen because, well—she is.

  “How did you—?”

  “I figured some things out on my own, Monty,” I say. The severity of what he’s saying hasn’t hit me yet.

  “I can get out of it by reversing everything. I would have to give up my inheritance—the company, the money—everything.”

  “Give it to who?”

  “The money would be dispersed across charities, I imagine. The company would be sold and the money from the sale would also go to charity.”

  I’m getting upset now, because he came to my house last night and spent the majority of the night kissing me, telling me how much he loved me, holding me and talking me to sleep – all the while he was harboring this secret. He belongs to someone else.

  It stings. No, it hurts. I know in my heart that I will never love another man as much as I love Monty. Never. So, my life after him will be mediocre at best. Not extraordinary. Could I fall for someone again? Probably, but whoever the poor guy is will never know true love
because I will never be able to truly love him. I love Montgomery St. Claire.

  But he’s married.

  That changes everything.

  “Why are you telling me this now, Monty?”

  “I’m trying to be transparent with you. I didn’t know I would feel the way that I do about you, Cherish.”

  “I’ll ask you again—why are you telling me this?”

  “You’re upset.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be upset?” I ask frowning.

  “All of that paperwork had slipped my mind until Major brought it to my attention.”

  “Right. So, now what?” I ask blinking the wetness away from my eyes. I’m too pissed to cry.

  “I want to talk this through with you.”

  I get up from the table and cross my arms. “There’s nothing to talk about, Monty. Even if you were crazy enough to give up everything for me, I wouldn’t let you.”

  “You wouldn’t let me,” he fires back.

  “No.”

  “And how is it do you think you have control over my decisions?”

  “It’s not about having control. It’s about doing what’s right. Your father was your world. You loved and admired him. He left everything to you. He wouldn’t want his company—everything he built—thrown away because of—of a personal assistant.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “And I’m not the kind of woman who’d sneak around with a married man, so—”

  “Cherish—”

  “It’s the truth! You are a married man. Are you not?”

  “On paper, yes, but I don’t love her. I love you.”

  It’s a painful experience to hear him say he loves me when my heart is breaking because of him. To relive all the time we spent together. The way he kisses me. Touches me. The way he looks at me. I’m at a loss.

  “Say something,” he tells me. He’s still sitting, looking up at me.

  “I don’t know what’s left to say. There’s really nothing to say. It doesn’t matter how much you love me. You’re married.” My arms are still crossed. I think it’s a way of guarding my damaged heart from him. I’m already starting the process of distancing myself even though he’s in my house.

  He stands and begins walking towards me. Every cell, every atom, every drop of blood inside of me freezes.

  He comes to a stop in front of me, tries to touch my face but I turn away. I’m still in heart-protection-mode although the damage has already been done.

  “You should go,” I say.

  He grimaces. “Do you think this is easy for me?”

  “Just go. Please.”

  He respects my wishes and leaves. I break down upon hearing the front door close because out of it has walked the man of my dreams. I thought he was my future. The man who’d father my children. The man who I would spend the rest of my life with. I had so many hopes for us, even though I knew he was too good to be true.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Monty

  I take Friday off work to spare my employees the wrath of the previous version of myself. I can’t get Cherish out of my mind. Can’t believe how reckless I was with my life before her. All I do now is sit around and wish things were different.

  Saturday, I get a call from Magnus. He assures me he hasn’t forgotten about setting up a meet-and-greet with our Uncle Mason and cousins, but he’s been on baby watch. His wife could be called in at any time.

  I relay this message to Major when he disturbs me while I’m swimming laps in the outdoor pool. Then he says, “You swam like fifty laps nonstop. What’s eating at you, bruh?”

  “Nothing,” I say. I swim a lap back across. Swimming gives me time to think about my next move, only I’ve been swimming for the last hour and I don’t have a clue what that next move might be. I come up again, taking deep inhales of air after holding my breath for so long to see Major has walked the length of the pool to where I am.

  “Are you sure it’s nothing?” he asks.

  I’m still catching my breath. Water is dripping from my hair. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

  “Alright, well, I guess I’ll leave you to your Olympic swimming in that case.”

  “Wait—let me ask you something. If you were in my shoes and mother presented you the offer of obtaining the company and five-billion dollars but you had to choose a wife beforehand, would you have done it?”

  “I don’t know, man. That’s a tough call. I know how dedicated you are to the company. If I was as dedicated as you, maybe I would have. I don’t know. Did mother at least come to you before she made her pick?”

  “She did. She asked me if I had any input and I told her I didn’t care.”

  “Why would you not care about something as serious as marriage?”

  “Because I had no intentions on actually being a husband to whoever she picked. I didn’t care. I was married to my work. Nothing else was more important than that to me. Now, it’s come back to haunt me.”

  “I assume you talked to mother about it already.”

  “I did—I told Cherish about Paige. I told her everything a couple of days ago.”

  “And?”

  I pull myself up out of the pool and sit on the edge, my feet still in the water. “And I haven’t heard from her in a couple of days. It broke her heart. I broke her heart.”

  I feel pain in my chest at the sound of saying that out loud.

  “You haven’t tried to call her?”

  “No. I don’t know what to do at this point.”

  “That’s why you’re out here tiring yourself out?”

  “I can’t focus on anything else, so—”

  “You should go see her—at least make sure she’s okay.”

  “I don’t know if I should. The day I told her, she asked me to leave. She hasn’t asked me to come back.”

  “Then take the initiative. One thing’s for certain. Nothing is going to get resolved if you don’t talk to each other.”

  “Trust me, I want to talk to her, but I don’t want to go to her without any indication from her end that she’s ready to talk to me. I have to tread softly.”

  “What! Okay, who are you?”

  I grin. “I know her well, Major.”

  “And I know you well. I know how aggressive you can be when you want.”

  “But there are things about her past that’s driving my decision-making process right now. I have to take this one step at a time. I don’t want to bombard her.”

  “I hate to say this, but I think now’s the time for you to be more aggressive. If you want her, show her you want her. There has to be a way to fix this Paige crap.”

  “Yeah, I just haven’t found it yet, but trust me—I’m working on it. Cherish is too good of a woman for me to let go. I can’t let her go. I love her too much.”

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Cherish

  It’s been five days. Five, long days. I haven’t heard his voice. Seen his face. His eyes. Those amazing eyes. Oh, gosh, those eyes. I miss laughing with him, seeing him smile. I miss being around his family.

  At the same time, I hate that I miss him. How am I supposed to get over him and move on with my life?

  I busy myself with taking care of my flowers since I don’t have a job to go to. I’m not hard up for money. I have savings and Monty had given me a check after he was well. My finances will be fine. My heart on the other hand – not so much.

  “What you doing there, Sherrish?”

  I turn around to see Ms. Kettleworth behind me holding an ax. If it was anybody else, it would’ve freaked me out, but I know the old lady has issues.

  I ask, “What are you doing with an ax, Ms. Kettleworth?”

  “I done killed me a snake earlier this mornin’.”

  “What!”

  “Yep, a black one. A shiny black one and I probably would’ve missed him if Butterball wasn’t following right down ‘hind him. I told Butterball, I say now, don’t you worry. Mama’s gon’ take care of it. I ran out in the back and the ax is the
first thang I saw. I hauled dat thang back and chopped dat sucker into fours…serves him right, too. I left it lying right there so the others know what they gon’ get if they slither over here on my prop’ty.”

  She laughs like a crazy person off meds, then says, “You ain’t seen no snakes over here have you, Sherrish?”

  “The only snake I saw in my yard was my stepfather.”

  Ms. Kettleworth laughs.

  “No, but I haven’t seen any snakes. I always put some snake repellant around the perimeter of my house. I got some left if you want to try some.”

  “Nah. Long as I got this here ax, I’ma have me a choppin’ good time.”

  I smile at her nonsense and continue pulling weeds out of my roses.

  “So you’re working out’chea in yur flowers today, huh?”

  “Yeah. Just killing time.”

  “You don’t go to work anymore?”

  “No. I’m taking a lil’ break,” I tell her.

  “I ain’t seent yur boyfriend by here either. He used to be here all the time. Now, he’s like my teeth—nowhere to be found.”

  I chuckle. “Yeah, we’re, sort of—um—”

  “Broken up?”

  “Something like that.”

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t want to bore you with details about it, Ms. Kettleworth. It just wasn’t meant to be. Some things aren’t.”

  “Aw…that’s too bad, hun. He was mighty, mighty handsome.”

  “Yep.”

  “He got dem eyes that’ll hyp’tize somebody.”

  I crack a smile. “He does.”

  “He most certainly does…they sho got me…had me caught in a spell a few times.”

  I pull more weeds, loosen the dirt and start on the next flower bed.

  “So, what happened to him? Don’t tell me you done let some hussy take him.”