Keeping Up With Piper

by Amanda Adair

  We’re going to have plenty fun nights at the Skylights. Today is just the beginning of the party season.

  “Do you want some champagne?,” Bruna says as soon as we sit down. She has to scream to drown the beats. Luckily she has a deafening vocal organ.

  “Yeah,” Piper shrieks.

  As Bruna walks away you look around the room. “There’s a bottle of vodka on the table,” you notice.”

  “There’s always lots of bottles in the VIP lounge,” I explain, “but Bruna want her very special champagne.”

  There are more and more people who join us in this area. Normally it’s not that crowded up here. Downstairs next to the DJ I see the owner of the Skylights. I smile and wave at him, then I look at you.

  “Hey, Piper,” I say, and you turn towards me. You sit next to me, so close that our shoulders touch each other. “There’s a guy across the room staring at us.”

  You look at me puzzled. “Who?”

  I nodded in the direction of the man, maybe around thirty-years-old, with extremely short brown hair and black clothes from head to toe.

  After you looked at him for a few seconds you say, “looks hot.”

  He is the complete opposite of Dana’s father Joe. Sorry, Dana Isabella. Dana Isabella Jensen to be precise. Even though you never married Joe, your daughter shares his last name. According to your Pinterest boards you want to marry so badly. You’ve created those boards years ago. Your dream wedding includes lots of red roses, a beautiful Catholic church and a princess-like white dress. You want a stereotypical wedding and you want it asap. You saved lots of photos of Pippa Middleton, so I guess that’s what your role model looks like. You even openly told Joe that you think it’s time to marry, especially because of Dana, the evidence for your love for each other. You told him you want to be married before turning twenty-five. You are twenty-five now, unmarried and single. At NYU you were the girl who made out with most of your male friends or any acquaintances you have had back then, which is sad, but that’s who you are. At least what you had with Joe is something you’ve ruined all by yourself. I wasn’t involved in the doom of your relationship. Joe Jensen didn’t want you to be his wife apparently. You are not unappealing for most guys, you don’t need to be single, but your high standards impede your search for Mr. Charming. Well, it may become a problem that you already have a child.

  “He does,” I agree.

  I’m not looking for a relationship. With my revengeful nature (that I got because of you) and my son I am not exactly the perfect girlfriend. As soon as I am done with you I’ll maybe start dating.

  “You should go talk to him.”

  “No,” I say. “You can go chat with him, I’ll stay here and wait for the champagne.”

  You don’t look away from him.

  “He can come here if he’s interested in one of us,” you say.

  One of us? You can’t stand it when guys are interested in someone other than you. You never liked it when guys were flirting with Penelope or Tammy while you were around.

  “I never make the first move.”

  “I agree,” I say. “Is the father of Dana still in the picture?”

  I feel like a nightclub is not the right place to talk about kids and fathers, but I honestly don’t care.

  You look to the ground, almost shyly, but then you manage to catch yourself.

  “No, we broke up some time after Dana Isabella’s birth.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t need to be,” you say. “It’s probably better.

  He’s doesn’t really know how to raise a child. We fought a lot. He didn’t want her to go to The Huntington School. He didn’t want her to attend a private school in general. He is such a peasant.” You still feel the need to bad-mouth others. I stopped judging people like you. I’ve met too many of them. In your business that’s normal. I bet your (sorry, our) coworkers are constantly talking shit about others.

  “Huntington,” I repeat. “The one in Lower Manhattan?” I pretend to be surprised. “Kye will also attend that school.”

  What a coincidence. We could take turns bringing the kids to school. I’m glad you chose this school, it has a great reputation. If I send Kye to the same school your daughter goes to, I need it to be a good one.

  “Yes,” you say and smile. “Oh my gosh, that’s great. The school’s amazing. Dana Isabella is so happy there. At first she was sad to leave kindergarten, but she found lots of friends.”

  And she’ll find another friend in Kye, I’m sure of that. I raised him to be a kind and fun kid.

  “At their age their being so dramatic,” I say. “Kye was devastated when he was supposed to kindergarten.”

  “Yeah,” you say and breathe out. “I’m so glad you started working at lalamilan. The other moms there are super old, and they talk to me about unnecessary details of their children’s lives for hours, days, weeks. I can’t stand it anymore.”

  “They just take motherhood too seriously,” I say.

  “I love my child but it’s not the only thing in my life worth talking about,” she says. “And I don’t bore others with lots of photos of Dana learning new things or losing her first teeth.”

  We start giggling. “Other women started groping my belly when I was pregnant and told me the way it looks it must be a girl, and other women keep annoying me with their wisdom ever since.”

  “So true,” you say. There it is, the so. “It’s like there’s some rule that mothers have to interfere in the upbringing of all children, no matter how old they are or how .”

  “It’s worse when you’re a young mom,” I say as I watch Bruna walking up the stairs to the VIP area. “They think you’re too stupid to handle your child. They never do that with forty-year-old moms that have their first child. They think they already have like three ones at home, so they prefer to bother us.”

  “I know.” Now you see that Bruna’s back, too. “What took you so long?”

  “There was this guy,” she started telling us, but you interrupt her.

  “A guy,” you say. “Interesting.” You give her that tell-me-more look.

  “He wasn’t my type,” Bruna says, “but he paid for the champagne.”

  “ Okay, thanks mystery guy,“ you say and grab the bottle.

  While you just sip from the bottle Bruna and I exchange looks.

  “Girl, you’re thirsty,” Bruna says. “I like it.”

  Then Bruna grabs the bottle out of your hand and takes a glass.

  We drink, dance, then drink again, then dance again. That’s the schedule for tonight. When Bruna and I dance with each other downstairs, a guy grabs your waist and takes you to the bar to order a drink for you. A cocktail with lots of alcohol. The thing is guys keep ordering cocktails with the most alcohol for pretty girls like us. In your case it’s the Long Island Iced Tea, a deadly mix of Tequila, your favorite, Vodka, Gin, Triple Sec and Rum. While the alcohol destroys your liver, Bruna kisses me goodbye.

  “See you,” she says.

  These days we mostly see each other at night, when the sun is down and the nightclubs open their gates for women with short dresses, lots of makeup and high heels. Luckily at the Skylights we’re allowed to wear a more casual chic look. I even wore sneakers once, and they let me in. Maybe that’s also due to my new look. I didn’t drink much, because I’m responsible for you, Piper. As I watch Bruna leave the club you appear in front of me. You looked better when we got here. Apparently you made out with the guy you were dancing with because your lipstick is smudged and underneath your eyes there are bits of your mascara.

  “Hey,” you say, obviously drunk.

  “Hi,” I say. “Do you want to go?”

  You nod and look around.

  “Without the guy, okay? Come on.”

  I help you walk outside, get in the cab and stay awake until we’re at my place. You might ne skinny, but I can’t carry you to the elevator since I’m skinny, too. With the help of Nanny, I undress you and put you in
to the guest bed. Your makeup will probably make the pillowcase dirty, but I don’t care. You’re lucky your daughter doesn’t see you like this, all messed up and slutty.

  “Thanks,” I say to Nanny. “You can go home now.”

  Nanny looks like eighteen but she’s actually in her early twenties. She’s caring, loving, funny, and Kye adores her. She looks a bit like Francine. I shake my head as if I’m trying to shake the thought of her away. I thought about hiring an au pair from Europa instead of another nanny, but I couldn’t decide what language I want Kye to learn. Spanish or Norwegian, Italian or German. But Nanny can help him with his English homework, probably better and more efficient than any au pair from France or Italy. The professional ones are expensive, whether they’re pedagogy graduates, English or math majors.

  Sleep well, Piper. I see you tomorrow.

  5

  “By the way, I’m Jane, your buddy,” the woman in front of my desk says. She told me lots of things during those last five minutes but her name and why she is bothering me wasn’t included until now.

  Apparently every new employee at lalamilan is assigned some kind of mentor that helps them during their first weeks. Before, she was on vacation, so we get to know each other a little later. Jane Winston is Paola’s personal assistant and a recent graduate from some fashion institute in London. Most employees at lalamilan are young, female and have little experience. I guess Paola hires people who fit this description because that way the salaries are all equally low. There’s no bonus or anything. That way she saves lots of money.

  “We have our first team meeting this week,” Jane says as we walk down the hallway. This is the mandatory tour that each new employee normally gets on their first day. “I guess you already know that this is our kitchen.” She stops at the doorframe. “This is where we have lunch, our office parties and free coffee.”

  There it is, the free coffee, the holy grail of every office kitchen. I don’t care if there’s free coffee, I’d rather have free Wi-Fi, some dogs and cats around, and most importantly less drama.

  “I’ve been here before,” I say and smile.

  “Was there a coffee machine at your previous job?,” she asks but doesn’t wait for my answer. “It’s a Nespresso. I can’t do anything without coffee, I’m barely alive, let alone awake. I need at least three cups before I’m able to talk to people.”

  I met Jane a few minutes ago and I can’t stand her already. She’s all chatty and talks about personal things with strangers. First thing she told me today told me wasn’t her name but that she had her teeth whitened this morning at the dentist.

  “But I hate tea. Isn’t it always like that? You either love coffee or you like tea. What do you prefer?”

  Neither. “Tea.”

  “Oh.” She walks to the next door. “This is the HR department. Say hi to Blair Watson.”

  “Morgan,” I correct her.

  The human resource department consists of exactly one team member, which is Valery.

  “Hi, Val,” I say because we’re close according to her and I think it’s always beneficial to get along with the human resource manager.

  She’s the one who co-decides who gets a promotion, she’s the one who needs to approve if we want to go on leave when Paola isn’t in Manhattan, and Paola often travels to Italy or France.

  “Blair, nice to see you,” she says and continues working. She’s wearing glasses in her office, but even with those in front of her eyes she’s leaned forward so much that she almost touches the screen with her nose. She must be blind.

  “Yeah, I forgot,” Jane says, “you probably already know everybody.”

  “There aren’t many of you,” I say.

  “True. Do you have any question? Like where we hide the alcohol?”

  She starts laughing, but I shake my head. “I don’t have any questions.”

  “I love your watch, where did you get it?”

  “It was a birthday present,” I say because I don’t remember and even if I did I don’t want to tell her.

  “I bought mine on Amazon,” she tells me even though I don’t ask her for this unnecessary bit of information.

  They sell everything on Amazon, even swimming rings that look like pink donuts with sprinkles or a mop romper so your baby can mop the house while crawling.

  “Looks nice,” I say and smile.

  “I normally never buy anything on Amazon,” she explains and looks down at her watch. “But that watch was on sale and I needed it. Normally it costs four hundred Dollars. It fits my raincoat and my boots and most of my other jewelry.”

  Talking to someone like Jane leads to an unnecessary information overload. Can she just stop talking and leave me alone?

  “It looks great and you, but I should…,” I say but she interrupts my attempt to escape.

  “Oh, hey,” she says, “in five minutes is our team meeting. We have one big meeting room and that’s the only meeting room we have. In case we need more space or in case we have two meetings at the same time we book a room at the office of those lawyers on the third floor. Sometimes we use the kitchen, but that isn’t really classy, so we try not to.” She walks down the corridor. “This is the meeting room.”

  Most of our coworkers already sit inside. It’s a regular meeting room with a long table and lots of chairs. On one side of the wall there’s a smartboard.

  “Great, there you are,” Paola welcomes us, “have a seat.”

  Jane walks to the other side of the table and sits down in the front seat. There’s another spare seat next to Valery. That’s where I sit down.

  “As you know,” Paola starts her presentation, “we have two new employees.”

  Two?

  “Blair, could you please say a few words about yourself?”

  I hate those kinds of group therapy sessions.

  “Hey everyone, “ I say and get up. “I think most of you already met me. I’m Blair, I graduated from Pepperdine in California and then worked in Europe for a while.”

  “So formal,” Paola says, “tell us a fun fact.”

  I try hard not so sigh or choke. Fun fact? What is this? Kindergarten?

  “Okay, ” I give in and smile. “As a child I had a cat named Milan and my cousin named her guinea pig Lala.”

  Most of the team start bursting.

  “Hilarious,” comments Paola. “That’s why you had to end up here.”

  I never had a cat and my cousins don’t have guinea pigs, but I’m impressed by my improvisation skills. The acting classes as a child finally paid off. Thanks, Mom. Maybe I’ll start acting again, once I’m done with you. But I can’t be in the spotlight. People will start digging in my past. You can’t be an actress without at least some kind of fanbase who get obsessed with you. I hate it when people get obsessed with something, may it be human beings, fictional characters or anything else. It’s always some kind of cult if you ask me.

  “So cute,” you say. “The best fun fact we’ve had here so far.”

  I almost forgot you, Piper.

  “Brian’s was amazing,” Jane says.

  I guess Brian’s left because there is no Brian at lalamilan.

  “What was it?,” I ask.

  “I forgot,” Jane says, “I just know it was awesome.”

  “And Rita is our second new team member,” Paola says.

  A young woman who sits across the table stands up. “Hi, I’m Rita, I’m from Canada.” I swallow. Canada. “I’ve studied graphic design here in New York and that’s what I am, a graphic designer.”

  “Fun fact,” Edith, one of the editors, shouts.

  “My favorite pizza is a Hawaiian pizza,” Rita says, “but I always remove the pineapples.”

  “Why don’t you just order pizza with ham?,” Valery asks.

  “No, I don’t like that.”

  After Rita and I introduced ourselves Paola presents our current projects and achievements. After we talked about all of our upcoming projects we finish the team meeting.
/>   “Hey,” you say as I want to walk outside the door.

  “Piper,” I answer, “hi.”

  “Hungry?” You smile at me.

  “Benissimo?,” I suggest.

  “You know I love it there,” you say.

  “Hey,” I shout at the others, “anybody else up for some paninis?”

  You may wonder why I want to share our restaurant with the others. It’s because I feel like it. Valery, Rita, Edith, Amber, of course, and Jane join us on our way to your favorite place food. Jane babbles until we sit at a table and the waiter asks us for our orders. She once stopped and said, “oh, a rainbow”, but there was no rainbow, she mistook a reflection of colorful lights in some window for a rainbow. She’s annoying. She just can’t stop talking for a second.

  “Is there a panini without tomatoes?,” she asks the waiter.

  “What do you recommend, Blair?,” Valery asks and looks at me expectantly.

  “You like pizza, don’t you?,” I ask.

  Valery nods while Jane still asks the waiter questions.

  “The pizza with mushrooms is great,” I say even though I’ve never tried it before.

  We all order and get our food half an hour later.

  “You come here often, right?,” Jane asks me.

  “Yeah,” I say. “Piper recommended me this place.” I look at you.

  You wink at me.

  “I really love this pizza,” Valery says with a full mouth. “Do you wanna try?”