by Amanda Adair
It’s true, Bran is the other poor sod that will my servant companion today. Sometimes it’s just unfair. Why did she have to pick the two outcasts? It’s heavy enough to be victimized by Piper and her following, I don’t need to serve them as well.
“Okay,” is all I can say. Ms. Downing walks outside without thanking me whatsoever. I walk towards the counter. “Hey Bran.”
He looks at me, then lowers his gaze. “Hi.” Is this what you become after being exposed to harassment for too long? Is this my future? Being all shy and withdrawn?
I open my mouth to say something, but I realize I don’t want to. Bran stands in front of the container with spaghetti. I hear some students walk into the cabin, so I position myself next to Bran and grab one of the soup ladle things that Bran’s also holding in his hand.
“Is that all there is?,” Alanna asks. She’s the first to get her meal. “Spaghetti?”
I nod. “Yes. That’s it.” While I serve her Bran serves Nora.
“I should’ve just brought my own food.”
As she walks away I wonder why the students can’t just serve themselves. Actually, it’s not a good idea, it’s more hygienic like that. But honestly, I really don’t want to be here. It’ll just give Piper more reasons to make fun of me. Most students just look at us, smile (gleeful, of course, not friendly), grab their food and go. It’s still a humiliating to serve the people who avoid me, laugh at me, who simply don’t like me for no reason.
“Servinger.” I know immediately who that is. Piper. I don’t look up, I just fill that pasta serving spoon with spaghetti and wait for her to hand me the plate. “Hello-oh, I can’t eat that, I’m allergic.”
I look up, then turn around and look for the boxes Ms. Downing told me about. I find them on a silver serving trolley. There are three white boxes, one made of glass and one made of plastic, with labels. The plastic box has her name on it.
Piper Lucrezia Flores – no nuts, strawberries, apples, soy products, peppers, carrots
I had no idea her middle name is Lucrecia. I grab the box and put it into the small microwave on the kitchen counter. Since I’m used to always cooking fresh meals with my parents at home I guess how long this box will need to be hot enough. A minute will do it. I stare at the countdown and grab the box as soon as it’s ready.
“Here you go,” I say and hand it to Piper.
“Good work,” she says. “You should consider doing this after school. You were born for this.” As she walks past Bran, who serves Penelope, she says, “you, too.” Penelope starts giggling and they walk away.
I see Ms. Downing coming closer. Just when Axel and Tammy appear in front of Bran and me, she says, “You two can take over.”
“No,” says Axel. “There are lots of people done with their meals.”
“That’s a good point,” she agrees. I’m shocked by how easy it is for him to duck out of this. “You two are going to wash the dishes instead.” Axel doesn’t look happy.
Ms. Downing walks away, searching for two new victims. A few seconds later she returns with Alanna and Nora. “You can have lunch now, Samantha, Bran.”
Alanna and Nora have the same annoyed facial expression as Axel had just a minute ago. I’m just glad this is over, so I grab a plate with spaghetti and walk towards a table that’s empty. I freeze and turn around. “Do you want to sit with me?”
Bran looks at me as if I asked him to jump out of the window naked. Without a word he changes his direction and walks towards the table I was just approaching. Okay, I think to myself. We sit there in silence. I don’t want to judge him, but it doesn’t feel great to sit with him. I only asked him because I feel bad for him. But what about me? I’m not a popular girl at this school either. Not at all, to be honest. I don’t even want to sit with Piper. For whatever reason she’s popular, I don’t think she’s someone worth spending time with. But I do want to sit with a group of people, a group of my classmates, the way it was at my middle school. That’s all I’m asking for. I just don’t want to be ignored, called names and laughed at. I want to have some close friends again.
Bran finishes his meal in highspeed, then walks away from me. I wonder where he’s heading. It’s half past two. It’s still one and a half hours until all of us meet outside for some afternoon activities. I spend those one and a half hours at cabin number five. There’s no one else inside, only me. They’re probably all having some fun, talking, playing games, smoking. I know Penelope smokes. I’ve seen her several times at school. She either hides between some trees at the at the back of the schoolyard or she stands next to the garbage containers. She never gets caught. Sometimes she gives her cigarette to Piper who then takes a puff.
I sit on my bed and answer a message from Mom. She asked what it’s like at the camp. I lie, I say it’s all good. At four o’clock we all meet outside for some “fun time”.
“Line up according to your height,” Mr. Maas says. As soon as he says those words the girls and boys around me start hurrying towards each other, running wild. They all start comparing each other’s heights. And me? I just stand there, watch the scene and stop breathing.
“Samantha,” Ms. Downing says. “Don’t spoilsport, go.”
I immediately start walking. There’s already a line with about twenty students. I just try to guess who’s taller and who’s smaller than me and get in line. After some more minutes we’re ready.
“Good job,” Mr. Hernández says.
“Wait, there’s two that don’t seem to stand in line correctly,” Mr. Maas notices. He points at Jason. “Remove your cap.” Jason takes off his Phillies cap and swaps places with Elliot. “Better.”
We continue with lining up according to our birthday, then Mr. Hernández says, “great, let’s play another game now, that is dead fish. You’re all going to do nothing.”
“Nothing?,” Tammy asks.
“Yes, nothing,” he answers. “I will pick one of you who will try to make the others laugh or react or just move.”
“I want to do that,” Axel says.
Mr. Hernández looks at him, then he lets his eye wander. “How about Anna?”
“No, I don’t want to,” she says. “I’m not funny enough.”
“Come on, Anna.”
“No.”
“Penelope?”
“I’ll go after Axel,” she says.
Axel steps forward.
“Alright,” says Mr. Maas. “Let’s go.”
Before we all freeze, our line forms a semicircle, so we can see each other without turning our heads. Axel walks past us. He stops in front of Jason. “Hey Jayjay,” he says, but Jason remains silent and motionless. “Let me tell you a joke. What is red and smells like blue paint?”
Jason doesn’t move.
“Sure, I forgot you can’t answer. It’s blue paint.”
No reaction whatsoever.
“Maybe that one was bad,” Axel says. “Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic Team? No clue, huh? Because everybody who can run, swim and jump is already in the U.S.”
Jason starts laughing and Piper shouts, “Shut up, Axel.”
“Come on, Axel, not funny,” Mr. Hernández says. “Piper and Jason, you’re out.”
Axel, Jason and Piper stand next to Ms. Downing. “Asshole,” Piper says.
Ms. Downing didn’t hear her. I did since they only stand a few feet away from me. Sometimes I feel like Ms. Downing either doesn’t want to see or hear what’s right in front of her or she doesn’t want to take care of it.
“Okay, Penelope, it’s your turn,” Mr. Hernández says.
“It’s just a joke, Piper,” Axel answers. “Calm down.”
“You’re an asshole, you can’t just insult my culture,” she says.
“It’s not your culture,” he says. “My aunt’s Mexican, too. And your Dad is just half-Mexican, right?”
“Shut up.”
Meanwhile Penelope steps forward and starts dancing in front of Tammy, who keeps a straight face. As soon as she
shakes her ass at Tammy, Mr. Hernández stops her, “that’s enough, Penelope.” Several students started laughing and are therefore excluded from the game. Penelope now walks towards me. She starts dancing around, doing pirouettes, then starts dancing like a hip hopper. I’m used to not showing any kind of reaction to their bullshit. Penelope gives up trying to make me move or laugh or do anything. She makes several people laugh with some funny grimaces and makes some of them wince. In the end it’s her against me.
“Okay, I’ll tell you a story,” she says. She comes so close that I feel her breathe on my face. She starts talking with the voice of a kindergarten teacher. “There was once a concealer that was supposed to cover a pimple, but the tiny pimple fought back. Her name was Mrs. Pimplinger.” The others start laughing. I wonder if Ms. Downing and Mr. Hernández don’t realize that she’s making fun of my name. “Mrs. Pimplinger fought… back as hard as she could… but in the end she exploded like a balloon and the concealer was so disgusted that it ran away.”
“Oh my gosh,” Tammy says. “What the hell.”
“I think it won’t work,” Mr. Hernández says. “Congratulations, Samantha, you win.”
Penelope gives me a nasty look and whispers, “we’ll try again later.” I know who she means when she says “we”.
I go to the restroom before heading back towards the camp. I feel completely exhausted when I get back to the cabins. I open the door of cabin number five and walk in.
“Goldshitter,” Piper says. I know she’s talking to me, but I’ve given up showing any kind of reaction long ago. I walk towards my bottom bunk, but I realize that Piper and Penelope sit on my bed. Axel and Jason sit on the ground in front of it. There’s no one else in this room. I can’t believe what I see. They’ve opened my suitcase. All of my clothes lie on the ground, but not just that, there are tampons, my lotions and deodorant, a shaver and my underwear. Piper looks at me, opens a tube of hand lotion and presses it onto some of my bralettes that lie on her thighs. The white mousse spreads on the soft rose-colored fabric.
“Oops,” she makes. “Sorry.”
“Just stop it,” I say and start picking up my stuff.
Just as I grab a t-shirt, Jason hits my arm. “We’re helping you to sort your things out.”
“Yeah,” Piper agrees. “You don’t need this anymore.”
I don’t know what to say and Piper gives me no time to think about it. She throws the bralette on the ground, so that the lotion pours onto the brown parquet.
“Why are you doing this?,” I ask.
“Come here, sit with us,” she says and points next to my bed where there’s some trash can in the corner.
I shake my head.
“Why not? I don’t bite,” she says and laughs. “You’re such a wimp.”
“Just don’t touch my stuff, Piper,” I say. Once again I start picking up my things. I observe Jason from the corner of my eye. I don’t want him to hit me a second time. I have most of the things on my arm when I grab a bralette close to Piper’s leg. I’m now right in their middle. Piper gets up and pushes me to the ground. I hit the parquet and most of the clothes I’ve just gathered land on me.
“Aww.” Piper bends down. “You’re so pitiful, Pettinger.”
“Haha, Pettinger, amazing,” Penelope adds. “Do you like playing with yourself, Sam?” She gets up as well and comes closer, then just puts her hand between my legs. I push her hand away.
“You psycho, stop it,” I say and try to get up, but Piper holds me down with her hand on my chest.
“Did you like it when I touched your tits?,” she asks.
Jason starts giggling. “Look at her, she wants it.”
I push Piper away and get up. As fast as I can I sprint towards the door, open it and walk outside. I squat down and hide my face with my hands. I’ve cried so much these last weeks that I can’t anymore. Behind me the wooden door hits the doorframe hard. What is wrong with them? I can’t take this any longer. I get up and walk towards the cabin of Ms. Downing. I need to tell someone. I’ve never felt so empty and sad before in my life. My body’s shaking and I breathe heavily. I stop at the door and pause. Just knock, I say to myself. You can do this, just knock and tell her. I don’t even know what to say and where to start. I knock at the door. The dull sound makes me wince.
“Samantha,” Ms. Downing says. “What’s going on?”
“Can I come inside? I have something I want to talk about,” I say. I try to stop shaking. It must be all the adrenaline.
“We’re having dinner in a few minutes,” she argues. “Can it wait?”
“Not really,” I say.
“Okay, come inside,” she says. “But next time please don’t just show up in front of my cabin. This is a very private place.”
“Okay,” I say. Maybe Ms. Downing isn’t the person I should talk to right now. Her cabin doesn’t look big on the outside but instead of four bunk beds there’s a small living room with a partition behind it. There are two wooden doors. Probably a bathroom and a bedroom. When she said. It’s a private place I expected to walk straight into her bedroom.
“So, Samantha, what’s the reason for your visit?,” she asks and sits down on the dark green sofa. She points at the chair next to the window, so I sit down there. I can’t even walk a few steps without shaking.
I haven’t figured out what to say yet. I could tell her that Penelope took a photo of me half-naked and that Piper’s the one who touched me. I could tell her that they ignore me, they call me a slut or push me around. Or, I could just tell her how it currently is like being together with the other girls. I try not to stutter. “The other girls are being mean to me,” I say.
“Who is mean to you?,” she asks.
“The girls in my cabin,” I answer. “And Axel and Jason.” It’s only half true. It’s not only those seven girls in my cabin, it’s all of them, boys and girls. Everyone at school, everyone in senior year, everyone in Maywood. There’s rarely been any nice person in all these years I’ve lived in this town.
“What did they do?,” she asks, raising an eyebrow.
“They open my suitcase and put lotion on my underwear. And they push me around.”
“Are you sure?,” she asks.
I don’t understand her question. How could I not be sure about that? I nod.
“When did this start?,” she asks. It feels like an interrogation.
“Well,” she says and sighs. “Let’s see what we can do.” Ms. Downing gets up and grabs her coat.
I follow Ms. Downing outside and all the way to our cabin. This is it, I think. I don’t have to be Piper’s puppet anymore. I don’t need to hear her call me names. Maybe I don’t have to move back to Canada. A teacher is involved, I’ll be alright. Maybe it will all stop.
“What is going on here?,” she says as she opens the door. Piper can’t talk herself out of this. Why should she touch my stuff, my suitcase and my tampons? It’s over.
42
“Ms. Downing,” Penelope says. “Hello.”
I step out of Ms. Downing’s shadow. Her beige raincoat moves out of sight and I see Piper and Penelope sitting on the parquet, alone. It’s just the two of them. They have their phones in their hands but there are no tampons, no clothes, no underwear, no lotion, shaver or bralette.
“We need to talk,” Ms. Downing says.
Piper gets up. “Why?”
“Samantha told me you’re not treating her well,” Ms. Downing says. She looks around the room. Where did Axel and Jason go?
“She should tell us herself,” Piper says.
“Samantha,” Ms. Downing says and looks at me.
“I…” I can’t. “They’ve been calling me names and…”
“Oh,” Piper interrupts me. “Why didn’t you tell us you don’t like to be called Sammy.”
“They’ve been going through my suitcase,” I continue. “They…”
“Oh my god,” Piper says and gets up. “This probably is a total misunderstanding. I thought
you needed the lotion, so I got it for you. If I’ve said or done something to you that you didn’t like I’m sorry.” She walks towards me and wraps her arms around me.
“You’re lying,” I say. “You’ve been picking on me since my first day.”
“We should talk about this,” Piper says. “There’s no need for us to fight. I said sorry for the misunderstandings and I really mean it.”
“Great,” Ms. Downing says. She seems annoyed. It’s clear she doesn’t want to solve any more teenager problems anytime soon. “Make sure to prevent more misunderstandings. See you for dinner.” She opens the door and walks outside.
I open my mouth, but I can’t say anything. This is not what I meant. This is not what I involved Ms. Downing for. Can’t she see what’s happening? Can’t she see what they’re doing? Not just to me, to Bran. Why should he choose to sit all on his own all the time? Why should he choose to do groupwork all alone? Why? She fools herself if she truly believes there’s nothing that needs to be taken care of at this school. How can she be that blind, that ignorant, to just walk away? What needs to happen for her to get involved? The door closes. Within seconds Piper’s expression changes from a cute smile to a bitch face. “What’s your problem?”
“I…”
“I-I-I,” she mimics my stutter. “Are you serious?”
I remain silent. The door to the storage room opens. That’s where Axel and Jason hid all that time. They come out of there and start laughing.
“Us students,” Piper says, “need to hold together. Where’s your team spirit? You can’t just walk around and tell people private stuff. You’re a traitor, Samantha!”
“You’re right,” Jason agrees with her.
“Redhead, hey,” Axel says. He puts his hand into his back pocket. What’s he looking for? His phone? Does he want to take more pictures?
Piper looks at Axels hand, comes closer and grabs my shoulders.
“Flameinger,” she says. At first I don’t understand what she means but then I realize what’s in Axels hand is a lighter. He walks towards me while Piper holds me tight.