by Amanda Adair
“Stop,” I say.
“Look at you and your fiery personality,” Piper whispers in my ear. “So hot, isn’t it?”
Axel lights his silver lighter and holds it in front of my face.
“So hot,” he says looking at the little flame.
“No,” I say and wriggle, but Piper won’t let go of me. Her fake nails drill into my shirt and my skin underneath.
Axel comes closer and closer with his lighter. I feel its warmth and I’m almost blinded by its brightness. “Are you afraid?,” he asks.
I start screaming, loud and intensely. Part of me is. I can imagine what happens if he lights my curls or my clothes catch fire. I can imagine what it must feel like and what consequences it must have when Axel comes too close with his lighter.
Axel lets the cap of its lighter snap shut as the door behind us opens. I hope it’s a teacher. I hope it’s Ms. Downing who came back to see if I’m alright.
“Hey,” I hear Cora’s voice. “What are you doing?”
Piper doesn’t let go of me. Probably because I would run outside and tell Ms. Downing again, maybe call my parents or tell the principal. In my head the scenario of me telling Mom, letting her pick me up from this horrible place, is great. It’s a great feeling to know this could end soon. But rather than relief a feeling of shame spreads throughout my brain.
“Sammy wanted to play with fire,” says Piper and loosens her grip.
Cora looks at me. Come on, I think, you know this is wrong, so help me. “We should grab our stuff and go outside. The forest walk starts soon.”
“Let’s grab our stuff,” Axel says, and he walks outside the cabin with Jason. He always follows Axel like a shadow.
Piper lets go of me and walks towards her bed. I need a moment to collect myself but then I did the same. I forgot what we are supposed to bring with us to the walk, so I grab a bottle of water and a flashlight and put them into my backpack.
As Piper, Penelope and Cora are ready they walk towards the door. I wait a second but then I follow them. Penelope slams the door just when I reach it. I was right behind her and she knew it. I hear the girls laugh outside. I wait a minute and breathe out, then I join the others outside.
“Listen guys,” Mr. Hernández says. He stands in the middle of a circle of students that emerged around him. “Do you all have your flashlights?”
Most nod or say, “yeah.”
“Who doesn’t have a flashlight?,” he asks.
Someone from the other side shouts, “I have my phone.” A few others add, “me too.”
“Alright,” he says. “But you’re not allowed to use your phone otherwise.”
I brought some flashlight since my phone’s always low on battery. Even if it’s charged all the way to a hundred percent it doesn’t last long.
“Do you all have something to drink?,” Ms. Downing asks. They pretend like we’re fifth graders.
Again, we all nod. After Mr. Hernández and Mr. Maas have lighted up our torches, we walk into the woods. It took longer than expected, so dusk begins. I’m right behind Cora, Anna and Everly, who talk about math tests and sports and some series they’ve just seen together. Of course, they’re not talking to me. Not one is. It feels like I’m listening to an audiobook tonight. It’s getting darker and darker, there’s plenty of voices, and I’m walking alone, watching the fire I carry with my torch. I’m all silent but the people around me keep talking, sharing lots of information that I’m not supposed to hear. They probably think I’m not even listening. Behind me I hear Piper, Penelope, Axel, Tammy and Jason talk about Penelope’s boyfriend. Apparently he’s already twenty-one, his name’s Marvin and they’re sleeping with each other. At school I’ve even heard Penelope’s cutting herself.
“Watch out,” I suddenly hear Bran shout. He’s somewhere behind me, so I look around. All I see is a huge flame right in front of my face. I stumble back, fall down and land on my butt.
“Shit.” It’s Mr. Hernández voice. “Water, hurry!”
Water? Why? My body still feels so warm from that flame, really warm. It now moves out of my sight and I look into Piper’s face. It’s still so warm, almost hot.
“Oh my gosh,” she says.
“Hurry.”
“What now?”
I hear lots of voices, but it doesn’t feel like an audiobook anymore. It feels like a theater, live and in color, with ways of participating. As I look around I see that the end of my long curls is in flames. Just when I realize it a torrent of water hits my neck and back. My shirt gets all wet and the water flows all the way down to the ground.
“Are you okay?,” Mr. Hernández asks.
I still sit on the ground, surrounded by grass, leaves and small stones. “I guess.” Was my hair on fire? Did Piper put my hair on fire?
“What happened guys?” He doesn’t look at me, he looks past me. “How did this happen?”
“Piper held her torch to Samantha’s hair,” Bran says. He steps out of the shadow and comes closer to.
I knew it. I reach back and touch my curls. They’re wet and shorter. My hair’s shorter.
“NO,” Piper asks. “Why would I do that?”
“It was accidentally,” Penelope defends her.
“Did anyone see Piper do that?,” asks Mr. Hernández.
Penelope shakes her head.
“No,” say both Axel and Jason.
I need to see what it looks like. If my curls burned down I need to know how much damage there is.
“Alright,” Mr. Hernández says. “You need to be careful with those torches. Don’t hold them close to your classmates or trees or anything that could catch fire.”
I’m sure she did it on purpose. I only see the damage after the forest walk, when I’m back at the camp. I stand in front of the mirror in the restroom. My hair’s long on the sides but on my back it’s a few inches shorter. Tears roll over my cheeks all the way down to my neck. I even feel some of those tiny drops of salty fluid underneath my shirt, along my chest and down to my tummy. I will have to cut my hair. I stare at my reflection for a while. Having curls is a perk when having your hair burned. Luckily with my curls it’s not too obvious that the length is different. I still don’t understand why she needed to inflame me. I bet she wasn’t merely targeting my hair. Piper Flores wouldn’t mind if I burned down completely and not just some strands of hair. Since transferring to Maywood High I’ve been a target, my body and soul, my personality, my name and hair color. Everything seems to make them hate me. It’s already after eleven. I should go back to the cabin, but I honestly don’t want to. I know Piper, Penelope and the rest of their clique are in there, talking, playing games, making fun of me.
I go back to the cabin after midnight. I’m tired as hell but I didn’t want to interact with them. Hell is where they are. When I enter cabin number five I try not to make too much noise. They’re all in bed. Most of them seem to be sleeping but not Penelope, there’s light where she lies. It’s her phone. I walk past the other beds and stop in front of mine. I hurry to change into the dress I wear as pajamas and throw back the blanket. Just as I sit down I can feel my ass turn wet. When I jump up I hear giggles around me.
43
I didn’t tell anyone that they’ve pissed onto my sheets. They would say it was me anyway. I bet it was Axel. The girls wouldn’t piss on someone’s bed, but the guys would definitely do it if asked for it. Axel would do anything Piper says. I just removed the white sheets with a big yellowish spot on it, washed it, and put a large towel onto the mattress. between me and the blanket and fell asleep. I was too tired to wait for the fabric to dry. While the other girls went to have breakfast at the dining cabin I washed my sheets all over again. I was too tired at night to be disgusted but I was the next day. I couldn’t even have breakfast because of it. I didn’t want to throw up. Piper sent a picture of my sheets to my classmates. How do I know? Because when I sat at a table during lunch I saw the picture on Melissa’s phone. They all stared at me, so I decided t
o escape the negative attention and go back to the cabin. I even prayed for Ms. Downing to ask me to do the dishes, so I didn’t have to sit in the cabin all alone. Someone could come inside any minute and either watch me sit here alone, which is not that bad, or see it as an opportunity to insult me, push me, laugh at me, which is one of the rather unpleasant possible scenarios. Piper and Tammy were asked to wash the dishes, so I sat at the cabin for about an hour. Luckily nobody joined me. We spent the afternoon playing games again. This is basically what we did all day long until Thursday.
For our last night at the camp Ms. Downing, Mr. Hernández and Mr. Maas came up with a game idea that involves self-made masks.
“It’s similar to a treasure hunt,” Mr. Hernández explains. We’re all gathered in the dining cabin and have lots of colorful papers, cardboards, glue and markers spread on the tabletops in front of us. “You’re going to get together in two teams. You’re supposed to be quicker than the opposing team and solve puzzles we’ve come up with for you. Those puzzles lead to a box. The winning team wins the contents of this box.”
“My stepdad sponsored them,” Piper says proudly. She’s sitting at the opposite side of the table. “Those are PR samples. He gets lots of those.”
I remember that Piper once bragged about getting to drive expensive sports cars once in a while. “Porsche, Mercedes, my Dad can get me any car I want for a day or two,” she said. She had her driver’s license for a while now. After the Toyota Prius was destroyed she got a BMW Mini.
“What are the masks for?,” Melissa asks.
“It’s fun to make masks, isn’t it?,” Mr. Hernández says and smiles. “It’s too easy if you recognize your fellow teammates and opponents immediately. We have lots of black light pigment powder, so your masks glow in the dark, isn’t that great?”
“I want to be the leader of a team,” shouts Elliot.
“There is no leader,” Mr. Hernández says. “You’re equal. You’re a team. And remember, it’s just a game with lots of fun puzzles.”
“I hope you’ve studied well this term. You’ll need your knowledge in math, geography and biology,” Ms. Downing adds. “And we’re going to collect your phones.”
Some of us sigh.
“Before the treasure hunt begins, start with your masks,” he says. “Be as creative as you want to.”
We all grab some cardboards, in black, red, yellow, purple, green or blue, and start cutting out the outline of a mask. I don’t really care about this task. It isn’t fun at all. Back in Canada we used to make masks for Halloween. In elementary school in San Francisco we made cards for our parents on almost any occasion, Mother’s and Father’s Day, for Christmas and Easter. Lately I noticed everything I used to have fun with is now nothing but a compulsory chore. After I’m done crafting, glueing, cutting and coloring I look at my mask. It’s a black mask with blue and red colors that are supposed to glow in the dark. Some of the others didn’t just cut out an oval mask but a batman mask, that’s what Jason did, or a mask that has green X’s all over it. Elliot made a mask that looks like one from The Purge.
“How are you supposed to see anything if there are no holes?,” Cora asks Everly.
“I forgot,” she says and starts cutting two holes into her yellow mask with black and purple dots.
Mr. Hernández and Ms. Downing put us into two separate groups. When she points at me I wince. I’m with Piper, Penelope and the rest of their clique.
“Have fun,” Mr. Maas says.
My team is standing in a circle outside. We all stare at the piece of paper in Jason’s hands. Mr. Hernández explained that we need to choose one out of three answers for each question, the letter in front of the correct answer leads us to the next envelope.
“The first question is,” Jason says and starts reading, “which is the longest river in the United States?”
“And the answers we can choose from?,” Piper asks. “Show me.” She walks towards Axel and lays her head on his shoulder.
Jason looks at the paper. “Colorado River, Missouri River or Mississippi River.”
“We talked about that in class,” Tammy says.
“Mississippi?,” Axel asks.
“Do you know that, Axel, or do you guess?,” Piper asks and walks back to Penelope. She hugs her.
“Why do you care? Don’t you already have everything that’s in the box?,” Penelope asks her.
“Not everything.” Piper can’t stand still today. She positions herself in front of Penelope who then wraps her arms around her. Piper and Penelope stare at Axel as Penelope grabs Piper’s breasts. Axel raises one of his blonde eyebrows.
“Sexy,” Tammy whispers.
“It’s Missouri,” Anna finally says. “I remember that we talked about how Missouri and Mississippi river are similar in length, but Missouri River is some miles longer.”
“Good,” Piper says, and Penelope removes her arms from her body. “What letter is it, Jason?”
“N,” he answers.
“Okay,” she says and starts walking towards the woods. “Let’s find the next envelope.”
The next white envelope is hidden behind a tree. It’s Jason again who reads the question out loud. “What was the name of the ship that brought the pilgrims to America?”
Axel grabs the paper and stares at it. “Discovery, Mayflower or Godspeed?”
“Discovery fits best,” Tammy says.
“Mayflower,” I correct her.
“What?,” Penelope asks. She is standing right beside me.
“Mayflower.”
“Doesn’t make any sense,” Tammy says.
“I think it does,” Anna say. “I remember the name Mayflower, too.”
“Alright,” Piper says. “Thanks, Anna.”
It takes half an hour to answer the next two questions, one on math and the other on history. “Did anybody hide an extra phone?,” Tammy asked. “Really, nobody?
Piper and Axel lead the way but at the same time they’re distracted. Either Axel starts chasing a rabbit, or Piper stops and grabs a bottle of water, a lipstick or powder and a silver pocket mirror. We finally find the seventh envelope at the door of a wooden cabin that looks like the ones at the camp but is quite far away.
In the dark I can barely see anything. I have my flashlight but it’s not as bright as a few hours ago. I guess the battery’s dying. While Axel starts reading the question I walk around the cabin. Behind it there’s a lake. I can’t see how big it is, the moonlight is too dim.
“Sam,” I hear someone say behind me.
“Samantha,” I correct her and turn around. It’s Tammy.
“This question’s yours,” she says and walks away. I follow her, and as soon as I’m back in front of the cabin Jason throws the paper in my direction. It’s soaring down to the ground as I freeze. Why?
“Get it,” Piper says.
I shake my head. “No. You get it, if you want it.”
“Look,” she says. “It’s a question on Canada, so it’s yours.”
“Well, you shouldn’t throw it onto the ground then,” I answer and step back.
Anna sighs and says, “what province was first to grant voting rights to women? The answers are Quebec, Manitoba or Ontario.”
I don’t know the answer. Why should I know the answer? I could tell them Canada has three territories and ten provinces. I could tell them Canada’s name goes back to Kanata, which means village. I remember a lot of things from the history classes in Canada. I could tell them lots of dates, useless knowledge and fun facts, but I can’t tell them what province was first to grant voting rights to women.
“I don’t know,” I say.
“Don’t they teach you that in Canada?,” Piper asks. “We’re gonna lose because of you. Thanks.”
“Could be all of them,” I say.
“Oh, wow, such a new input, Sam,” Piper says annoyed. “Hey, Anna, what do you think?” She actually smiles at her. I rarely see her smile at anybody.
“Maybe Quebe
c,” she says.
“Let’s just go with that answer.”
“What letter?,” Axel asks.
Tammy looks at me and picks up the paper from the muddy ground. It now has some brown spots on the back.
“D,” I guess. “Could be a B, too.”
“What?,” Piper asks.
“It’s dirty,” Tammy explains. “Can’t tell if it’s a D or B.”
“Oh, come on,” Axel says and steps forward. “Why didn’t you just pick it up?” He looks at me.
The others decided to look for an envelope with either a D or B. Tammy found one with a D, but it said, “good job so far, but your last answer was not correct. Since this is the last question turn left and follow the green arrows.”
At the end of the red arrows there is the box, already opened by the other team, with lots of goodies. The other team won. The answer was Manitoba.
After the treasure hunt I walk back towards the camp. I wince as somebody jumps in front of me.
“Boo,” he makes. I can’t tell who it is. I don’t remember the mask or voice. I thought it’s Axel’s mask, but the voice sounds female.
“Hey, Canada.”
Piper’s here. Of course. Piper and three other people with different masks appear in front of me. It must be Penelope, Axel and Jason.
“We’ve lost because of you, stupid,” Piper says.
The others remove their masks, just Axel leaves it on.
“It wasn’t my fault,” I say and try to walk past her, but she grabs my shoulders.
“Oh, girl,” she says and pushes me away.
I fall onto the grass. As soon as I try to get up I feel quite some weight on my back. It’s hard, a shoe maybe. I’m being hold back down. “Stop,” I beg.
“Shut the fuck up,” Axel says annoyed. His voice seems closer than those of the others. He must be the one with his foot on my back. The sole weighs heavily on me.
“Axel, I didn’t know you’re into bondage,” Penelope says. I can see her white Vans appear directly in front of me.
Axel’s too heavy, so I don’t even try to get up anymore.
“Get up, honey,” Piper says. “Come on.”