Seeking to Belong: Wolftale Series~Book 1

by M. Ekman

  She’d told him that she saw a vision of his death, which had apparently scared her so badly that she clung to him with an unrelenting grip. Sometime after Ruth fell asleep he must have followed suit.

  He also seemed to have shifted back into his human form at some point. Unfortunately, being in his human body only made things more difficult, as they were now impossibly tangled. Tyler’s right leg was trapped underneath the both of them, while his left leg was hooked in-between hers. One of his arms could easily be lifted from his spot across her back, but the other was lost somewhere underneath her wild fan of hair. Thankfully, Ruth’s arms were cradled to his chest instead of gripping him like they’d been last night.

  Tyler didn’t want to wake her, especially when she looked so beautifully peaceful. Not only that but he knew she would be furious at finding them snuggled like this when he’d been such a jerk yesterday. It was for Ruth’s own good, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t hate what he’d said or how crushed she’d looked.

  Ruth moved in her sleep once again which broke Tyler out of his train of thought and gave him a terribly stupid idea that had zero chance of success. What if he rolled the both of them over hopefully freeing his extremities?

  Grumbling silently over this abysmal idea being the best solution Tyler could come up with, he wrapped both arms tight around Ruth. He hoped that holding her closer to his chest would make it less likely for her to be jostled when he rolled them. Slowly he turned them, pausing frequently to check that Ruth was still out like a light.

  Amazingly, throughout the entire process she didn’t so much as twitched. Wolves were naturally good at being stealthy, but, wrapped up as they were, there is no way it should’ve mattered. Suddenly Tyler remembered that Violet had mentioned, in passing, that Ruth was not a morning person and could sleep through the apocalypse, but this was insane.

  Finally, Ruth was on her back and Tyler’s legs were freed. However, he’d forgotten about his arms, which were now both trapped underneath her. After taking a moment to plan out his next move, Tyler flexed his feet so he could balance on his toes, and then put his weight onto his left elbow. He pulled out the opposite arm, then repeated the process on the opposite side.

  Tyler tried to move as gently as possible, which worked considering Ruth was still in a state of deep sleep. Once he was entirely free Tyler found that he couldn’t move from this new position. He had been focusing on Ruth the whole time so that he would know the second she began to shift to a state of wakefulness. But now that his task was completed, Tyler couldn’t tear his eyes away.

  She was so exquisite, even in her sleep. Her soft skin and full lips called to him with a deep ache he’d never felt before. Tyler balanced both of his arms on the loveseats armrest above Ruth’s head and lowered his nose to softly graze hers.

  Ruth let out an adorable giggle before mumbling “mine.”

  That one word washed over Tyler in an almost unbearable heat before being abruptly cut off with an icy flash. He had promised himself. Tyler couldn’t do this to her; he couldn't bear hurting his little warrior. Any kind of relationship between them would only end in pain.

  Quickly Tyler leapt up and took a few deep breaths to calm himself and his wolf. Through it all Ruth still remained in her unconscious state, which was nothing short of a miracle. A disappointing miracle, if Tyler was being honest with himself.

  CHAPTER 18

  Ruth opened her crust-covered eyes to find a soft white blanket thrown over her and a matching fluffy pillow under her head. Speaking of her head Ruth’s felt like there was a hammer pounding behind her eyes. Slowly she sat up until her feet were planted on the plush carpet and ran her hands over her face. Ruth felt dried tears and snot, which was not how she wanted to wake up in the morning.

  She remembered her crazy dream about Tyler dying, followed by an even odder dream where he’d held Ruth while she cried. However, she hadn’t thought that her dreams had affected her enough to make her actually weep. Good thing no one was around to witness her embarrassment.

  Ruth’s thoughts ground to a halt as heard someone walking towards her less than private resting place. Not wanting anyone see her in her tear-stained haphazard state, Ruth shifted into her wolf.

  “It’s time for you to wake up!” Violet stopped when she saw Ruth sitting on her haunches in the middle of the room.

  “Um, Ruth? Honey...what are you doing?” Violet asked.

  She mindlinked, “I… uh, have bed head?”

  Violet stared at her friend skeptically for a moment before letting the matter drop. “Well, you'd better pull yourself together, Missy, cuz you’re going to be late for work. Today is your job training day with me, and I can’t have you making me look bad.”

  Ruth laid down and put her paws over her eyes, “Vi, do I have to? I’m going to ruin the food!”

  Violet muttered as she walked over and gave Ruth a big shove with her foot. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re going, and you will do fabulous because you have me for your teacher.”

  Ruth huffed, then, faster than Violet was prepared for, lashed out and snapped at Violet’s heel.

  “Ah!” Violet shrieked.

  Ruth snickered before booking it out of the room as Violet began to reach for objects to throw. “You will pay for that Ruth Osbolt!” she mindlinked rather than shouting down the hall. After a beat Violet continued, “Tell me the minute you are ready, as all wardrobe choices need to be approved by me.”

  “See Vi, it’s comments like that that cause people to want to take a chunk out of your hide,” Ruth snarked back.

  Ruth could practically see Violet rolling her eyes, “It seems someone is a little feisty this morning. Have a good night?”

  “I did and I didn’t. It was weird night all around. By the way, thanks for the blanket, that was so sweet of you.” Ruth heard laughing over the mindlink.

  “That definitely was not me. I left your butt drooling over the armrest after you passed out during one of my favorite scenes.”

  The comment caused Ruth to freeze as she was shifting back into her human form to enter her new bedroom. If it wasn’t Violet, then… Shaking her head, Ruth finished her shift and opened her door. As the breeze from her open window passed over her, Ruth felt horror consume her. It couldn’t—she had been dreaming!

  Slowly Ruth raised a hand to her temple, then her neck, and finally her shoulders. Sure enough there was dried spit all over her upper body, at least the parts uncovered by her clothes.

  Taking a deep breath Ruth realized that the smell of citrus, mixed with a spice she couldn’t name, enveloped her. That spicy smell was titillating, unique, and something Ruth’d missed more deeply than she cared to admit.

  Anger began to build up and override embarrassment as Ruth barged into Tyler’s room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed tying his shoes as if there was nothing odd about the furious woman in his doorway. As soon as finished tying his shoe, Tyler slowly stood in all his crisp custom made pinstriped suit glory.

  Ruth knew her eyes were flashing ice blue, but she didn’t care if her wolf was in control. She didn’t feel like reining in her emotions any time soon. In a flash Ruth stood nose to nose with Tyler as a finger came out and poked his chest.

  “What do you think you are doing, huh? Do you think I’m some toy to be played with?” Tyler remained quiet so Ruth continued on her tirade, “You keep secrets from me. You Ignore or just plain avoid me. You tell me, in front of the whole pack, that you don’t want me just to turn around and sneak into bed with me!”

  Gently Tyler placed a hand over the finger Ruth was jabbing at him to punctuate her sentences. “I never meant to come to you, but you cried out to me. As alpha of this pack I cannot ignore a call.”

  Ruth’s anger deflated like a popped balloon, “I did what?”

  “In your sleep you called out to me and you sounded so—” Ruth raised her hand to ward off his words effectively silencing the alpha. She should have known that it was all her fault once
again; why did she keep throwing herself at him?

  “I don’t want to hear anymore. I am deeply sorry to have disturbed you, Alpha.” Ruth gave a slight nod of the head and scurried from the room beyond mortified.

  However, just as she’d made it past the door, Ruth swore she heard Tyler softly voice, “And I never said I didn’t want you.”

  Ruth shook her head to rid herself of the thought. There is no way she heard him right, her exhausted brain was going haywire.

  When Ruth had made it to the bottom of the stairs she felt an arm reach out and grab hers. “I thought I told you to come to me first,” Violet hissed, “ugh, no matter. We are late enough as it is.” Violet gave Ruth a quick once over.

  “Put your hair up and a little mascara on and you’ll look right as rain,” Violet winked as she passed Ruth a hair tie and makeup bag.

  Ruth wordlessly obeyed Violet’s commands and followed the smaller woman’s hurried steps towards the mess hall. However, just as they’d made it through the large room and were standing at the door to the kitchen, Violet stopped.

  She abruptly turned and threw her arms around Ruth, “I’m sorry that Alpha is an idiot. Please don’t let him cause you to regret your decision to be here.”

  Ruth’s heart filled with warmth as she returned her friends embrace. Taking a deep breath, Violet pulled back and both women stared at each other for a moment before breaking into a fit of giggles.

  “Stop worrying Vi,” Ruth said as she threw an arm around the smaller girl’s shoulders and pushed open the kitchen door, “I’d never leave you. After all, there doesn’t seem to be anybody else around here willing to keep you in line.” Ruth punctuated her final words with a snapping of her jaw and the glow of ice blue eyes.

  “Ha, Ha.” was all Violet could mutter in response before her mother descended on the two she-wolves.

  “You two are late. Violet, why must you set such a bad example?”

  The she-wolf’s jaw dropped, “Me—but I didn’t—”

  Ruth’s arm slid off from around Violet as she burst out into another round of laughter. Once she could control herself she looked up at Maggie, “Sorry, Mags. It was actually my fault.”

  The older wolf shook her head in mock sternness and shooed the two towards the stove. However, as the morning progressed things seemed to go from humorous to scream filled.

  “Ruth, what in the world!” Violet shouted exasperated.

  This was her third time burning a pot in less than an hour. “Sorry, Vi. I didn’t take my eyes off it just like you said.”

  It took everything Ruth had to keep her expression plaintive. Violet’s rapidly diminishing peppiness seemed to have a direct correlation to her usually tidy appearance. This was the first time she had ever seen Violet with even a single hair out of place. Chasing after Ruth all afternoon, fixing all of her innocent mishaps, had taken its toll.

  “That’s it! I can’t take it anymore. I love you but you need to be done for today,” Violet was nearly ripping out her hair by this point.

  She bit back a smile, “You’ve got it, Vi.” Ruth hightailed it out of there before the she-wolf could catch her laughing and relegate her to dish duty again.

  After that, Ruth’s days started to take on a new and refreshing pattern. She would wake and help Violet set out the breakfast trays, before they ate together. After that Ruth would go off to find whichever pack members had signed up to train her in their job. Her list seemed almost endless despite some jobs being crossed off after a few hours and others a few days.

  By the end of the month Ruth had tried nearly every job in existence only to find that she was terrible at nearly all of them. Despite all the boredom and missteps, Ruth still found she got along really well with everyone and luckily none of her “teachers” seemed overly upset with her mistakes. Violet had been right when she’d said a lot of people just signed up to get to know the newest she-wolf of the pack, which was Ruth’s saving grace. On and on it went until Ruth finally made it to the last name on her list.

  “Cassie signed up to have me come to enforcer training,” Ruth commented to Violet from her closet as she scrounged up an outfit that would suit.

  “I’m not surprised,” Violet sat on Ruth’s bed flipping through a magazine, “Cassie is the only female enforcer due to a lack of stronger she-wolves, especially ones that want to spend their days running rotations and getting sweaty.”

  “Hey,” Ruth said chucking a shoe at her friend.

  “It’s true,” Violet defended.

  “Well, I happen to like it,” Ruth said in mock hurt while pulling on a pair of dark colored yoga pants and a faded rock band t-shirt.

  Violet erupted in laughter and it took Ruth a second to figure out her blunder. “I didn’t mean I like getting sweaty. I meant—”

  Violet’s chuckles died down, “I know, I know. I bet there’s someone who wouldn’t mind you all sweaty though.”

  “Ha ha, very funny. You know Ty—Alpha has been avoiding me,” Ruth said with bitterness.

  In fact, no one in the pack had been able to catch a glimpse of the alpha in over two weeks. Ruth just couldn’t understand why he was doing this. If Tyler didn’t want to be with her then that was fine, but he didn’t need to go to such lengths to keep her at bay.

  She realized that she shouldn’t have gone to his room and yelled at him, but it’s not like he had been injured by her words. In all honesty, it should be Ruth avoiding Tyler, considering he still hadn't told her about the touch thing. Is that why he was staying holed up in his office, so he didn’t have to tell her the truth about it? Was he that afraid of how she would react to his revelation?

  CHAPTER 19

  Training with Cassie and the other enforcers of the pack was different than any other Ruth had ever been a part of. Sure it was hard, and they would do the typical running laps, lifting weights, and fighting maneuvers. However, everything was done with laughter and with an air of fun. Everyone took training seriously, but it was taught in a way that made everything more enjoyable, for lack of a better term. Many of the younger wolves used training as a kind of friendly competition of one-upping each other, which had led to some hilarious moments in sparring.

  It had been three days since Ruth had started enforcer training and she loved it. She showed up each morning because she wanted to, not because she had to. It seemed that Ruth had come full circle, though so much had changed since she’d attended her last training session in the Forest Stone Pack.

  The only drawback to going every day to the group sparring sessions was that she frequently partnered with Cassie. While Ruth respected the she-wolf, she just couldn’t help this nagging question that kept running through her mind every time they fought.

  After a particularly vigorous training session where Cassie had nearly bested Ruth (again), she decided she couldn’t handle the uncertainty anymore. When practice was over, Ruth volunteered her and Cassie to stay behind to help pick up equipment. Cassie gave Ruth a raised eyebrow but otherwise didn’t say a word.

  Once everyone else was gone Ruth blurted out, “why did you let me win during the strength test? You lost the title of strongest female in the pack. Not only that but half the time I’ve been training with you I can barely scrape out a victory. We both know you could’ve won that day.”

  Cassie’s soft green eyes met Ruth’s ice blues with a smile, “Because I no longer needed to be the best.”

  “What?” Ruth asked taken aback.

  “Ruth, you are Alpha Female through and through. You are strong, clever, and beautiful. It doesn’t do for an alpha to be alone.”

  Ruth blinked in shock, “Alpha Female—Cassie, I don’t think—”

  Cassie laughed at Ruth’s shocked face, “Oh come on, Ruth. Even you can’t be that blind.”

  “I haven’t even seen a hair of him in the last 23 days!” Ruth exclaimed.

  Face alight with held in laughter, Cassie asked, “So you’re counting then?”

  Throwing her hands
in the air, Ruth gave up that vein of conversation. She really enjoyed Cassie’s company, aside from her obviously incorrect observations, and didn’t want to ruin their newly formed friendship.

  It wasn’t that Ruth didn’t like Tyler, she was done lying to herself about that, but she believed that Cassie was wrong about Tyler’s feelings towards her. Ruth hadn’t really talked to him since the day she’d stormed into his room, and she found that she missed him a great deal. She longed for the cocky smile he gave her when he knew he’d gotten under her skin, and how Tyler’s presence seemed to fill up the room.

  Cassie pulled Ruth out of her thoughts with a question, “You know exactly where he is hiding. Why don’t you just go barge in on him?”

  “Cassie!” Ruth exclaimed, exasperated, “I have talked to him. He refuses to even—”

  “Sure, sure,” Cassie replied with a wave, “but at least if you saw him now you wouldn’t have to keep counting the seconds you’ve been apart.”

  Ruth’s face heated, “Hey, I have not been counting the seconds.”

  To her credit, Cassie didn’t laugh, but simply waved Ruth towards the pack house. With a huff, she turned on her heal and stomped across the field they’d been training in. She’d tried to convince herself that the only reason she was doing this was to prove Cassie was being ridiculous, but she knew the truth. Ruth desperately missed her alpha.

  Her heart began to pound as she slipped in the front door of the pack house, and began looking around to make sure no one was paying her any mind. Oddly enough, for it being the middle of the day, the place was deserted. Ruth decided not to dwell on that peculiarity, and silently tiptoed up the stairs until she made it to Alpha Wing. Taking a deep breath she sought out Jason’s scent to see if he was around. Luckily the smell of fern was all but faded, signaling the beta had left a while ago.

  Deciding to forgo stealth at this point, since Tyler would be able to smell her soon anyway, Ruth marched toward his office door and burst in like Cassie suggested; though, not as aggressively as she had when she’d practically plowed him over in his own room the last time shed seen him.