Faith (SEAL'ed Book 5)

by AJ Alexander

  BECCA

  It’s been three days since I received the email from Justin and I am yet to email him back. I still have no idea what I am going to say to him, let alone how I am going to act like nothing in our relationship has changed since getting that email from him. I know he didn’t come right out and say anything but there is something more than friendship lurking underneath the surface of his offer, and I have no idea if I am ready for that.

  Unfortunately, I can’t hide from my problem any longer. Today is Saturday, and I have to go meet the girls and Layla over at Katie's. To add insult to injury, Livie is up WAY too early because she is way too excited to meet her new TeTe. I have to force myself out of bed, to get us both ready and out the door in time. Olivia dresses in her usual attire of a red Robin cape, and green tutu, black Batman T-shirt with red Converse sneakers. I sigh thinking that it's time to get her new ones AGAIN. My little girl is growing up, I really need her to slow down.

  The entire drive to Katie’s, Livie peppers me with questions about Layla that I am unable to answer because just like her, I have never met her. Finally, I just decide to call Emma so she can answer. I am entirely too tired for all of this, Emma can hear it in my voice and promises lots of coffee in my future when I get there. I can hear Avery and Amber in the background yelling about it being spiked. I have no idea why everything with the two of them has to involve alcohol, but at this point, I’ll take it.

  I pull up to Katie’s house and hop out to unbuckle Livie. As soon as she is unbuckled, she hops out of the car and goes running for the front door, opening it like she owns the place. I would usually yell at her for being rude, but in all honesty, she spends just as much time here as she does at home.

  “Hello?” I call out as I enter, taking off my shoes before heading into the living room. I find all the girls there. I have no idea where Livie went, probably off to play with Emerson and Ryan in their rooms. Those three are thick as thieves already, I am so glad she has finally found some friends she can connect with.

  “Are you ready to meet Layla?” Katie says from the couch, holding a mimosa.

  “No, I need either one of those or a cup of coffee. Actually, give me both, I’ve been sleeping like shit the past couple of days,” I say as I stifle a yawn. Emma taps me on the shoulder, holding a mimosa in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. “I knew I loved you for a reason,” I say with a smile.

  “Does your lack of sleep have anything to do with a certain SEAL we all know?” Emma asks with a knowing look in her eyes. I both love and hate that Justin is Emma’s big brother. I am sure he told her about the emails we have exchanged and how awkward things have been between the two of us.

  “Maybe, I didn’t mean to make things weird between us. I just need to make sure that I protect Olivia from getting hurt. She is the most important thing in my life. I can’t let him hurt her.” I take a big gulp of my mimosa before heading toward the couch and having a seat next to Amber.

  “What the hell are you talking about? I just wanted to know how things were going, what did he do now? We have two trained killing machines ready and willing to kick his ass for you if you want. Just say the word,” Amber says as she wraps her arms around me.

  A tear escapes. “He didn’t really do anything. I just realized how attached Olivia has gotten to him, and it scared me. I have to protect her from getting hurt when he leaves us.”

  “There you go with the when. My brother is not an asshole, Becca. If he says he will be around, he will be. However, I get your apprehension. All I can say is give him a chance to prove he will be there for you and Olivia. Okay?”

  All I can do is nod my head in response. They have all given me a lot to think about. Maybe in my desperate need to protect Olivia, I’m pushing one of the best things to happen to us away. Shaking my head, I bring my thoughts back to the reason for being here. “So, what can you tell me about Layla?”

  Avery chuckles before responding, “The Ice Queen is a bigger bitch than I want to deal with. Plus, she kind of scares me.”

  “Ice Queen?”

  “Danny’s woman. She’s…intense. She’s a very powerful woman and takes some getting used to. Avery doesn’t like to be out bitched, so they typically fight,” Katie informs me.

  Emma and Amber both giggle in response. “To say they fight is an understatement, do you remember the brawl they had when we all first met, Katie?” Amber says. “Emma, you missed it! If you think their last few encounters were bad, they were tame compared to the white trash fight they had on the front lawn.”

  I can’t help but laugh at all of them, immediately feeling better about everything going on. I know that no matter what these four will always be there for me, even Emma. So fiercely protective of their friends and loyal to the core. Suddenly, there is a light knock on the door.

  “Avery, you better behave or so help me. Pregnant or not, I will kick you out of the house so fast,” Katie grumbles as she passes all of us and heads toward the door.

  “I don’t understand why I always have to be the one to leave. Why can’t she be told to go?” Avery crosses her arms over her belly.

  “Because nine times out of ten, you’re the one who starts it,” Emma responds before heading to the back of the house, probably to hide with the children. I stare after her, trying to decide if I want to join her.

  Katie comes back down the hall followed by a woman with flowing strawberry blond hair, pinned up on one side by a clip. Perfect makeup, a fitted jacket hugging all her curves, a crisp white blouse, and skinny jeans, with cherry red Manolo Blahniks. This woman has more money on her body than I saw in a year.

  “Layla, meet Becca,” Katie says with a warm smile.

  Before Layla has a chance to respond, Olivia comes barrelling down the hallway. “TeTe Waywa.” The panicked look that crosses over her face would be comical if she wasn’t looking at my daughter, she dodges out of her grasp, coming closer to Avery, Amber, and I on the couch.

  “What is a TeTe?” she asks, obviously confused by Livie’s inability to form words properly. She must not spend much time around children.

  “Livie calls everyone Auntie. She’s three and has a hard time forming some words,” I say, slightly offended by the disgusted look on her face.

  “Apologies, I can do babies. However, toddlers and children just aren’t my thing.”

  I can’t blame her. With all that money on her body, I wouldn’t want to take the chance of getting a kids greasy, germ-covered hands all over me. Just as I am about to respond, Avery begins to cackle with laughter. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I look at Avery and notice her pointing down at Layla’s feet. I can’t help but gasp in surprise. Layla’s nine-hundred-dollar designer shoes are covered in what I can only guess is amniotic fluid.

  “You owe me a new pair of shoes,” Layla growls at Avery. Avery opens her mouth to argue but instead lets out a groan of pain. It seems the contractions have started. Katie rushes to the back of the house to grab Emma, as I get up to help Avery up off the couch. Shockingly, Layla has bent down to help Amber stand up as well. The two of us start making our way toward the door.

  “Do you mind staying here with the twins? Emma is going to come with me, I know you have Olivia. They can all stay here and hang out; if it takes too long, I have a guest room you can stay in,” Katie says as she opens the front door so we can get out quicker.

  “No problem. I’ll call my boss to let her know to notify Labor and Delivery that she is on the way.”

  “Bitch, can’t I do anything by myself,” Avery shouts. Looking to my right, I see Amber bright red with tears in her eyes. It seems her water has broken as well, all over Layla’s other shoe—damn, today is just not her day.

  “Avery, shut up! This has nothing to do with you. This is about both of your babies. You have one job, to bring these babies into the world safe and sound,” Layla commands, shutting everyone up in the process.

  Layla jumps into action, ordering us all around. I am tas
ked with getting Avery into the car and calling their doctor to meet them at the hospital. Emma calls Jimmy to make sure he notifies the guys’ command, so Charlie is made aware the babies are being born today. Katie is to drive and get everyone there safe and sound. Once we get the twins settled into the back of the car, Layla settles into the passenger seat.

  “You’re coming?” Katie asks.

  “Who the hell else is going to be able to keep that one in her place during this whole ordeal?” she says, pointing over her shoulder at Avery.

  “Good point.” Katie leans out the window. “Emma is going to follow us in her car. Thanks for taking care of the twins, I’ll call you as soon as the babies are born.” She pulls her head back into the car and heads off in the direction of the hospital with Emma close on her tail.

  I can’t stop the pang of jealousy I feel as I head back into the house. I didn’t have a group of friends that rallied around me when I gave birth to Livie. It was just my mom and I in our small-town hospital, no fanfare, no big deal made. Just the widow having her dead husband’s baby. I head into the house and straight back to the twins’ room, no matter what happened in the past, I now have the best present in the world, my little girl.

  It didn’t take long for Katie to call and let me know that Avery and Amber delivered two baby boys, not sure what their names are yet. They want to talk to Charlie first before they make the names official. Mommas and babies are all doing just fine.

  Emma stayed at the hospital with them so Katie could come to relieve me of kid duty. I have to work tomorrow, I am going to try and go visit them all during my lunch break. To say that today was eventful is an understatement, but it reminded me that life is too short not to take at least some chances.

  After getting Olivia into bed, I finally sit down and reply to Justin’s email. I’m not too sure how my response will be received, but he needs to know how I have been feeling and where this leaves all of us. I just hope he is okay with how I want to move forward from here.

  19

  JUSTIN

  This past week has been hell. I responded to Becca’s email and expected things to go back to normal, but instead, there has been nothing but radio silence. I have even resorted to asking Emma what’s going on, but all she says is to ask Becca. If only it were that easy. So instead, I torture my men.

  Gone are the lazy days playing volleyball and hanging out in the bunk room. If we aren’t on watch, they are training, if they aren’t training, they are sleeping. I am sure when they go to sleep at night, they curse my name, but I don’t even care anymore. Misery loves company, so I want to make them as miserable as I am right now.

  After coming back from chow, I walk into the bunkhouse and am greeted with Avery and Amber video streaming with Charlie. Two beautiful baby boys fill the screen. Dark hair with eyes just like their father. We got the call just a few hours ago, letting us know that the girls had gone into labor. Charlie begged everyone he could to be able to go home, but a sniper is mission essential. He is not going anywhere any time soon, but we did manage to get him out of duty, so he could Skype with them and see his baby boys.

  Jealousy immediately fills my veins as I stomp toward my bunk, throwing my footlocker open. What I wouldn’t give to be able to chat with Becca, or even to hear Olivia call me Batman one more time. My heart squeezes tightly, I reach up and rub my chest, hoping to ease the pain.

  “Looks like someone else is just as hard up as you,” Amber purrs, shaking me out of my angry haze.

  Charlie spins around. “Ever since Becca gave him the boot, he has been grumpier than a horny rhino.”

  “You’re one to talk. You are damn lucky Bristol and Braxton are so damn cute, or you wouldn’t be getting any for the rest of your life, Pussy Destroyer,” Avery snipes in response, as she stares at their little boy.

  “Becca and I had to be something for her to give me the boot. She was just a pen pal, nothing more, nothing less.” I let the lid to my locker slam shut. “I’ll let you guys be alone to finish your call. Congratulations, the boys are beautiful.” I barely hear their response as I quickly retreat from the room. Heading into the officers’ tent, I have a seat and begin to pen one final letter to Becca. I have no idea whether she even read my email or not, but I am not going to let this go without getting everything out there in the open.

  It’s been another week since I finally decided to let go of Becca and Olivia. After writing the letter, I decided to file the experience under lessons learned and move on with my life. I apologized to my men for letting my personal life and feelings get in the way of the mission and promised not to let it happen again. They seemed to be shocked at my apology but took it all in stride.

  We just got out of another brief for an upcoming mission, this one will be much longer than the last. I should call my sister. With it being Christmas Eve and all I’m sure everyone is together. I don’t want to ruin everyone’s holiday spirit with my bad mood.

  I wonder if Emma is still going to give Becca and Olivia the gifts I arranged for them for Christmas. I was able to snag Becca an original Batman #62, the first appearance of Catwoman in her iconic catsuit signed by Stan Lee himself. A buddy of mine that is now a bodyguard for Mr. Lee was able to get him to sign it and shipped it off to Emma for safe keeping for me in time for Christmas. I found the cutest little doll of a little girl dressed up as Batgirl on Amazon, it wasn’t Robin, but I knew Olivia would love it nonetheless.

  Being gone on the holidays is always tough but being alone is the worst. All the guys are off having video or phone calls with their families or loved one. Here I sit alone, hoping to hear from two people that I know I never will. Trying to lift my spirits, I open my footlocker and grab my laptop. I can at least send Emma an email to wish her Merry Christmas; my parents are technologically impaired, but they manage to send off an email for Christmas.

  My email is full of Merry Christmas emails from my family, but to my surprise, I have one email dated about a week ago from the only person I want to hear from—Becca. I immediately open it and begin reading.

  To: justenoughmclovin@gmail.com

  From: beccababycakes17@gmail.com

  Batman,

  I’m sorry it has taken me so long to write this email, but I had no idea what to say to you in response. I wasn’t expecting it. You don’t know me or Olivia other than through some emails. How can you be so sure you want to be in our lives for the long haul?

  I had that once. I’d known Trent nearly my whole life, and he left me. It wasn’t his fault, but he left me alone, pregnant with no one to support me but my parents. Do you know how that feels? To be alone in the world with a tiny infant whose life depends on you to not mess up? Let me tell you, I would rather be over there in the war zone than do that ever again.

  Now that you understand where I’m coming from, please know that it was never my intention to hurt you. I was just trying to protect Olivia from pain. But when I took the time to think about it, I was trying to protect myself as well. I care for you Justin, more than I probably should at this point.

  With all that, I’m just asking we take this one step at a time. Emails and letters, that’s all I can give you right now. Maybe a Facebook message chat every once and a while, but no more video calls, for now. I’m not saying never, but I just need time to adjust.

  Letting people in is not easy for me,

  Catwoman

  Hope begins to bloom in my chest. I thought I had lost them, but Becca has given me another insight into what has been going on in her mind these past few weeks. I understand where she is coming from, she doesn’t know me other than from the letters and emails we’ve been exchanging with each other. Right now, I will take the little bit that she is willing to give me. However, when I make it out of this godforsaken sandbox, I will show both her and Olivia that I have no plans of going anywhere in the near future.

  20

  BECCA

  It’s Christmas Eve, one of my favorite holidays, but I don’t feel much
like celebrating. Emma refused to let Olivia and I be alone for the holiday, so here we are at Katie’s with the girls and kids, but I’ve never been so alone. I can’t help but hide away from everyone as they enjoy opening presents and spending time together.

  I’m trying to put on a brave face for Olivia but having not heard from Justin in over a week is breaking my heart. Now that I finally decided to admit that I have feelings for him, it’s too late. I let my fear keep me from something that could have been amazing for both Olivia and me.

  “Why so serious?” Katie says, in her best Heath Ledger impression. She seriously sucks, but I can’t help but smile.

  Before I have a chance to stop myself, I murmur, “I just miss him.” A single tear escapes and I swipe it from my cheek. Katie wraps her arm around me in silent support. All the girls have rallied around me this past week, sensing my spiraling mood. Even Avery and Amber, being new mothers, they have no time for anything, but they seem to make time to make sure that I am alright, even if it is only a phone call. It’s reassuring to know that although I have lost that connection to Justin, I still have my new “family” here to support me. I don’t think I could bear any of this alone.

  “It’s going to be okay, I promise. We are going to Skype with the guys soon, you can at least check to make sure he is alright. I know you have to be worried.” Katie gives me one last squeeze before reaching for my hand and pulling me toward the living room where everyone else is situated around the television.

  I’m shocked at how much care Logan and the rest of the team have gone through to make sure they can all see each other during the holiday. The entire room is outfitted with surround sound and projector TV, this way the kids don’t have to be confined and everyone can see each other at the same time.