Violet Ends

by Jisa Dean

  Zander…Now there's a conundrum I've not figured out yet. I assess risks and, by the books, Zander is not a good bet. But everything in my poor bruised heart says that he's here forever. I mean he did fly all over the world to help me find my best friend and the body total is really stacking up too. He's already killed two men just for me because of this. Why would he do that? Not just to have my innocence, that would be too high a price if everything below my waist was made of gold and offered free suction. So why is he here? With me?

  The sun is setting along the river and all I can hear are the sounds of the spring insects coming awake and the river quietly kissing the shore every now and then. "It's beautiful."

  "Yes, it is." I look over at him but he isn't looking at the river or the sunset or even the sky with all of the splashes of color. He's looking at me. And for the first time in my life, I'm looking back. I allow myself to get caught up in his eyes so like the shifting colors of the evening around us, like my own little piece of Laos.

  My cheeks heat up at how silly I'm being. I am so far behind that I'm just now getting my first crush and I have to go and have it on a hired killer. I hope and pray he doesn't hurt me. Not physically, I have no fear of him hurting me physically but he could tear my world in two if he wanted to. Living is so much scarier than what I was doing.

  "Whatever happens, thank you." I have to let him know that I wouldn't have found out if not for him. I'm grateful to him for giving me some small amount of closure. "I...,"

  He stops me by placing his fingers against my lips, "I didn't do this so you could thank me for it. I did this for purely selfish reasons. I wanted you free of the past so I could start a future with you. Never think I am a good man, Nat. I'm so far from good it took me a little while to see it in you."

  He moves his hand so that he's cupping my face in the palm of his hand, "If we would have found her," I have to force myself to say the next words, they still come so hard for me, "alive...,"

  The familiar sting of tears makes my vision blur his face in front of me, everything but his eyes. "If, would you have waited?" I go on so we're both clear on what I'm asking. "Would you have waited on me to help her find her way back to some kind of normal? Would you have waited for me even when so much of my time was taken up with getting her better or would you've just left?"

  It's a question that's been going through my head a lot these past few of days, but more so now that I know. He calls himself a selfish man but he puts his life on the line for his two brothers who aren't even related to him. He loves them like they are really his blood. He dropped what he was doing to go off on a weeks-long rescue mission for someone he didn't know. Sure, he says it's for my freedom that he did all these things-the trip, the killing, the hunt; but I have to wonder if it's more than that.

  He leans in so our lips are in that holding zone that Zander does so well and the soft brush of his breath fans out on my face, "I would wait for you however long it takes. It never mattered the outcome of the journey; I will always wait for what is mine." He gives me one of the softest kisses ever.

  "Come out with me tonight?" this might be the first time he's actually asking me instead of commanding me. It tells me he can see how fresh the pain still is. I want so much to be another person for him. I want to be able to go out and not have worries and heartbreak pulling me down. I want to be the kind of woman that gets him hard and makes him drip with...anticipation for what I can do for him when he gets me alone. Hell, I want to be the kind of woman who it wouldn't matter if we were alone or not. But I'm not. I'm still me and I'm still scared so in the end, I just nod for him so he knows that I'm at least trying to be someone better.

  A peal of thunder overhead heralds the coming rainstorm; they pop up around evening and blow over by sunset according to the locals. I've left the windows open since we got into the room so whatever breeze that's blowing will blow into the room. Now the sound of thunder seems so much louder than I recall it being anywhere else. We're still touching and occasionally sharing soft kisses but I can tell the minute things change.

  He goes in for one of his soft kisses and I linger longer than before, allowing him more room to glide his tongue in. It does something to him, turns him almost savage. The little concession that I gave will not go unused. His kiss turns urgent and deepens like he's trying to taste me and I'm reminded of the nickname he calls me.

  I respond to his urgency more than I thought I would. I give more and allow him more than I probably should but I can't stop myself. I want to fill this man up in all his empty places just like he's doing with me. During the next clash of thunder, both of our bodies come together and our lips turn violently demanding of one another. Not even the breeze from the storm can get between our bodies.

  I'll never know who made the first move, it's funny how memory plays with us like that, never being absolute or precise. In the next flash, clothes are coming off and bodies are being rubbed against each other. And God it feels so good. So life-affirming. His hot body slides across mine turning my nipples to stone and making the responding flood of moisture pool in between my legs.

  He puts his hands behind my ass checks and I help him by jumping while he's lifting so that he's carrying me across the room with me wrapped around him. Normally I would worry about so much, especially the fact that I'm practically leaking and my legs are spread open around him but not tonight. Tonight all I can think about is him. The touch of his skin to mine, his soft, pillow lips against my own, the thick ridge of his erection that I plan to slide down slowly.

  As soon as my back hits the mattress both of us are grabbing and rubbing like we are each other's last meal and both of us are starving. His hand slides up my rib cage to cup and caress my breast and the hard nub on top sending me into a state of excitement I could never achieve for myself. His deft fingers pull and pluck the bud until it's thick and hard just like he is down below on my thigh. I push into his touch when he becomes rougher testing me to see what I can take, how far I'll let him go, and where and when he needs to stop.

  "You like it a little rough, don't you Cherry. Just a hint of pain to make you feel more alive and get you there quicker." I answer him the only way I can, with a moan and by pushing more of me into his hands to play with. He doesn't disappoint or keep me waiting. He ducks his head and latches onto a nipple and I swear I hear a symphony in my head. All I can do is throw my head back and hope that the moans tell him how I feel.

  When rubbing his back isn't enough I move to his hair and pull and tug giving him a little pain with his pleasure too. Wild, animal eyes look up at me and for one tiny millisecond, I wonder what I just let loose. He doesn't give me time to worry before his head is dipping lower and he's using his big broad hands to spread my thighs for him.

  For some reason, even though he's already licked and sucked and done everything with his face he can do down there it catches me off guard and I try to close them. The wilder person I've unleashed makes a growling sound in the back of his throat and forces them apart.

  "Never close yourself off to me." God this shouldn't make me so fucking wet but it does. The sound of his grunting and the dirty words he chooses to use and the fact that he's not afraid to play a little rough with me makes cream run out of me and down the crack of my ass, getting both holes ready for him.

  The sounds of him eating me and the oncoming storm outside mix together in my mind until I can't tell one from the other. Zander is like a force of nature and I am powerless to try to control something so strong and vital. His lips rocket me into an orgasm I wasn't ready for. I want to wait out the pleasure, to make it last as long as possible. Zander is having none of it and pushes me there before I can halt him. When he rises above me I can see why he chose the name Zeus, it fits him.

  The sound of lightning hitting something close by fills the room but doesn't stop us from our mating. As soon as his head comes down my mouth is there to take his kiss. I want to give him something too and not just take. I wrap myself around him
and push my pelvic area up against the thick shaft of his cock. I'm so wet he glides through with nothing to stop him. I work my hips up and down with my only thought being to make him cum.

  In one of my many thrusts upward the head of his cock pierces me and both of us go still. We both understand what this moment means. Nothing will be the same after this, I won't be the same.

  "Be sure, Cherry. There is no going back after tonight."

  I stare him in the violet eyes, "I thought that was a given long before now."

  He stares back at me for a long time and I start to think he's going to stop and not give me what I need. I can't be so close to something so full of life and have it taken from me again. I won't allow it. With eyes still locked on his, I take the choice away from him by slamming my hips up to take him as deep as I can. Right before I break my innocence on the steel rod of his dick I break eye contact and bite down on his shoulder hard enough I taste his blood in my mouth. Both of us bleed in a moment held captive in my mind forever. He has the blood of my innocence smeared on his cock and I have the taste of his in my mouth.

  He turns into an animal. Hips pumping in and out of me, taking the hurt that I felt away until nothing but pleasure remains. So much pleasure.

  "God damn it, Natasha," he's mad about me making him lose control. He only ever calls me Natasha when he's serious. "God damn it. I can't stop now."

  "I don't want you to stop, Psycho." How's that for a nickname? Taking it back to the beginning with that little namesake. And it works for him. He brings more of his weight down on top of me until he is all I see. He plunges his hips sending his cock so deep in me I swear if he doesn't stop we'll be stuck like this forever but when I open my mouth to tell him all that comes out is a moan.

  He's hitting some spot inside of my body that makes it do weird, dangerous things like get wetter and throb with the anticipation of what's about to come. It's enough to make me scream out and throw my hands around him, transferring the grip I had on the bed sheets to his back. God forbid something happen to me tonight because I'll have his DNA under all ten of my fingernails.

  He increases his speed once my nails sink into his back until I think I can't take any more. All of it is happening so fast and going so deep inside of me that surely something is going to break or go shooting into a million pieces. That something is me. I start convulsing so hard I can feel my own pulses around the shaft of his cock and it just sets me off even more.

  "God, yes, Zander! Don't stop!"

  "Never going to Cherry." And he doesn't he rides me right on through to the next wave. His voice going deeper with each word when he tells me he won't ever be done with me and that I belong to him and him to me. It causes my whole body to shake so hard I can't stop what's about to happen and in one massive orgasmic wave I grip down on his dick and he releases inside of me. And I just found my power.

  His body shaking from the orgasm I've given to him makes me feel...powerful. I made this strong, tough as fuck assassin quiver like he's a fucking leaf in the wind. Even now he's weak from my love. I like the feeling. I want to do it again. Now.

  "No, Cherry. No more." But his cock isn't listening to him and neither am I. His cock is getting hard again and filling me up with all that long, thick meat of his. My hips keep pumping up and down on him until he matches my strokes.

  "You are in so much fucking trouble with me right now." But he rolls us so that I'm on top calling the depth of our thrusts and the speed this time. Even though he could take over even from this position by grabbing my hips he doesn't. He uses his hands to help me lift myself up and to keep me steady when a climax hits me causing me to lose my rhythm. He cums again deep inside of me filling me so full it runs down between the two of us, a perfect mix between his creamy releases and my wetter ones.

  I've always been curious, even as a child, so when I want to find out what both of us taste like together I don't hesitate to reach down and gather some of us up and show him as I lick it off my fingers. This is apparently not the thing to do if you have a dinner reservation you want to be at with Zander. It causes him to fuck on every available surface until both of us are exhausted and replete.

  Fourteen

  ____________

  We finally make it to the restaurant the next evening after hours of staying curled around and in each other. I woke up before my Cherry did and checked in with my brothers. We had a long discussion about what the hell three old retired assassins could offer to the world to make us money, not that we don't have plenty for a good life. Over the years Kronos has paid us beyond well. If the three of us were idle though bad things would happen, the least being boredom.

  They mentioned a fellow club-goer who works in web design and coding. They've had a lot longer to think about the future than I've had where money is concerned. Everything else about my future revolves around the woman sitting across from me tonight and I have thought long and hard about every aspect of that. How to make her happy? How to help her heal from the long scar hurting for six years caused on her mind? What's going to happen when we go back home? If she'll say yes when I ask her?

  The next couple of days are what the locals call Boun Bang Fai, or the Rocket festival. The people of the providence all come out for parades and games and end the day with a contest seeing who can make the biggest rocket and launch it the farthest. It's a fertility celebration so the phallic symbol is everywhere and will be for the next few days until the rains come.

  Camergo is out and about celebrating too. He has a big compound located close to the border of Attapu. The easiest way we can get to him is to wait for him to go to a restaurant like the one we are at and take him then. It will have to be timed down to the last second or we'll have an international bitch fight that won't make either side happy. The fewer people who know we are here the better.

  I got word from Hades that the Senator has gone on a cleaning spree taking out several of his own people. I figure Camergo is on borrowed time anyway but I want what's left of his. I need details that only he can give me. Kronos has asked for him to be brought back for questioning but he didn't talk about details and with a man like me it is always best to talk about the details. For instance, I can cut his fingers, or hell his whole damned hand, off and he still be alive so Kronos can have his shot at him.

  "You're awfully quiet." her voice pulls me back to the stunning beauty I have sitting before me. We're situated in the restaurant so I will have eyes on Camergo's table at all times. Her back is to the table behind her but she is hyperaware of everything going on throughout the restaurant just as I am. "You're thinking about killing him aren't you?"

  She doesn't ask. She already understands my mind so well that she can tell when I am plotting something truly heinous. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not given that I do a lot of plotting.

  "More like wondering how far I can take him before the finale. There is an art to things like this you know."

  Her musical laughter has my heart fluttering in my chest in a way it has never done at any time in my life. I think this must be what being happy is like but it has happened to me so rarely that I can't be for sure.

  "Only to someone like you." Her smile is breathtaking and the twinkle in her eyes makes the feeling in my heart intensify. I would give my life to keep her eyes sparkling like this instead of with the shine of tears and sorrow. Ever since we came together in the resort's room she has seemed lighter and happier. It looks good on her.

  The sound of a loud boom shakes the little restaurant and the sparkle goes out of her eyes to be replaced with fear and panic. It pisses me off. I want to go kill something. I reach for her hand so that she can feel my calmness and my certainty that nothing bad is happening.

  "It's the village fireworks, for the celebration." She takes in a deep breath to calm herself, "We need to talk, Cherry."

  More worry clouds her beautiful tiger eyes. "That doesn't sound good. Isn't that the part of the movie when the spy gets up and leaves?" she tries t
o laugh it off but I know her as well as she knows me. She's afraid of being left behind - again. She won't look me in the eye now choosing instead to look down at her plate.

  "Cherry," I wait until her eyes come up to mine. "I guess it's a good thing I am not a spy then isn't it."

  She finally gives me a smile but it's smaller than the one before and not as bright.

  "I want to talk to you about a career change." I wait to see how she is going to take it. Some women like the danger the job offers, and most women want a man who has something planned for his life other than being retired and doing nothing.

  "I...um, don't want to change careers." She cocks her head in the most adorable way and I can't hold back my laugh. It's loud and booming and I realize I haven't done it in years if for the rare times I have dropped my guard with my brothers.

  "Not you, Cherry, me. I am the one making a career change."

  Her eyes give nothing away now, damn it. "You don't want to be..." she stops and looks around us like someone might be listening or even care that I am an assassin, "a you-know-what any longer."

  My cheeks hurt from all the smiling. "No. I don't. I want to find something else in life to be good at. I want to be good for you, a good husband, a good provider, a good friend." The conversation turns serious and when she opens her mouth I stop her by holding up my hand. "I saw the fear and worry in your eyes when you thought the fireworks were bombs going off."

  She doesn't try to deny it. The worried look is still on her face though. "I can't let you live a life where you always have to look over your shoulder or worry about the next loud bang. That's not what I want for you and it isn't what I want for me any longer."