by Tao Lin
They bought iced coffee and drove to the University of Florida campus and walked around. “The grass looks dead in this area,” said Sam holding his MacBook. “There is no life in this area.” He pointed at people sitting on the grass throwing food in each other’s mouths. Audrey said something about Jesus. Sam said it was a club for throwing food in each other’s mouths. Sam said he felt jealous. Jeffrey was holding the “Yes on 4” sign and a half-gallon Odwalla green juice about one-third full.
“You really look like a hardcore activist,” said Sam laughing.
“Why should we vote yes on 4,” said a middle-aged woman sitting on a lawn chair in a large group of people about thirty feet away.
“I don’t know,” said Jeffrey not looking at the woman.
“No, tell us why we should vote yes on 4,” said the middle-aged woman.
“I don’t know why,” said Jeffrey. “I’m just carrying the sign.”
“Here, you can have it, do you want it,” said Jeffrey in a quiet voice.
“No, don’t,” said Sam. “We need it to put by where we sit.”
They sat on a large area of grass by a crocodile monument and Sam put the “Yes on 4” sign in the ground and opened his MacBook. There was no internet access without a password. It was sunny and maybe 70 degrees. Sam lay on his back. Jeffrey lay on his stomach. Audrey lay on her back.
“Where is Gina,” said Sam.
“She went to take photographs,” said Jeffrey.
Sam asked Audrey about the band she was seeing tonight.
Audrey said Sam should go with her to see the band.
“Everybody always said that Krispy Kreme was supposed to be so delicious but then I tasted one and I said ‘what’s so special about these?’ ” said Jeffrey with a bored facial expression. Sam laughed and said “That would be a good commercial for Dunkin’ Donuts” and recorded Jeffrey repeating what he had said into his MacBook.
“When did you eat the Sausage Egg McMuffin,” said Sam.
“This morning,” said Jeffrey. “Before we left.”
Sam saw Jeffrey drinking from his half-gallon of Odwalla and laughed.
“Stop laughing at my Odwalla,” said Jeffrey grinning.
“Can I see it?” said Sam. “It’s really funny.”
Sam threw the half-gallon container very far away.
“Go get it,” said Jeffrey.
“Are you angry I threw your Odwalla,” said Sam.
“Not really,” said Jeffrey.
Sam said he would roll like a log to go get it. But he was facing the wrong direction. “Roll to go get it, Audrey,” he said. “You’re facing the right direction.”
Audrey started rolling. Sam saw that Jeffrey looked bored.
“It’s funny you got her to do that,” said Jeffrey.
“You’re rolling wrong,” said Sam. “You’re turning.”
“No, wait,” said Audrey rolling on the grass.
“Now you need to roll, like, vertically,” said Sam.
Audrey held the Odwalla and stood. The Odwalla fell in an ant pile. “Ant pile,” said Sam. Audrey threw the Odwalla. Sam picked up the Odwalla and they stood in a triangle throwing the Odwalla at each other. “Jeffrey, you’re not throwing it like a football,” said Sam. “Throw it overhand like a football.” The container of Odwalla broke on the grass. “Are you okay,” said Sam grinning at Jeffrey. “I’ll buy you another one.” Gina put the broken Odwalla container in a trashcan. Sam pointed at something on the grass and said “Jump over that” to Audrey. “Jump over what,” said Audrey. “The bush thing,” said Sam. “Plant. Or fern, perhaps.” Audrey ran and jumped over the side of the plant. “You didn’t jump over it at all,” said Sam. “You just jumped over air.” Sam ran and jumped over the middle of the plant. Audrey ran and jumped over the side of the plant. Sam jumped over it again then stood staring at different things. Gina said she took a photo of an old man holding a can of Dr Pepper in each hand while staring at a squirrel. Sam walked around a little then saw Audrey sitting on a bench looking at him with vines above her head. Sam smiled and put his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. “What are we going to do,” he said. “I mean, I don’t know, we’re in a park right now, I feel good right now, I feel like I’ll just kill myself after this.”
Jeffrey, Gina, and Audrey were looking at Sam.
“We’re in a park, or something,” said Sam grinning.
“Don’t kill yourself,” said Jeffrey.
“I don’t know what to do,” said Sam.
“People expect you to kill yourself now,” said Jeffrey.
“Really?” said Sam. “I don’t know. Maybe an asteroid will hit me after my next two books come out. I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what to do, like, overall, or something.”
“Draw hamsters,” said Audrey.
“I already did that,” said Sam.
“There’s nothing left for you,” said Audrey.
Sam walked around then kicked his foot making his shoe go very far away. He ran to his shoe and put it back on. He stood on the grass without looking at anything specific.
“Your shoes are ugly,” said Audrey.
“My shoes, no,” said Sam looking at his shoes.
Audrey stepped on Sam’s shoe. “Now it’s okay,” she said. “I’ll do the other one.” She stepped on the other shoe. “That feels good,” said Sam staring at his shoes trying to think about something. He wasn’t really thinking anything, he thought.
Near Jeffrey’s car Audrey got on a bike locked to a bike rack and tried to pedal. Jeffrey and Gina walked ahead. Audrey looked at Sam while trying to pedal. “Try pedaling harder,” said Sam.
At Jeffrey’s car Sam asked Audrey if he could sit in front.
“Sure,” said Audrey. “Why are you asking me? It’s not my car.”
“I don’t know,” said Sam. “You were sitting in front before.”
“Yes, you can sit in front,” said Audrey.
Sam sat in the front seat and said “yes” in an expressive voice while moving his fist in the air and staring at Jeffrey. “Do you do that,” said Sam. “Do you ‘pump your fist’ ever?” Jeffrey said sometimes he did. Audrey pushed a wooden sword into the front seat and Sam held the blade and pushed it so the handle went against Audrey’s chest. At a stoplight Sam screamed “Obama” at someone watering grass with a hose. They parked and went in a Vietnamese restaurant. Audrey ordered “the Princess Bowl.” Jeffrey ordered “the Chicken Noodle Bowl.” They finished eating and sat on a street corner looking at people across the street playing instruments and asking people for money. Audrey pointed at a feature of Sam’s shoes and said she didn’t notice that when she said Sam’s shoes were ugly.
“Are they like pirates,” said Jeffrey about the people across the street.
“I think they are,” said Sam. “Pirates heckle.”
Jeffrey looked at Sam and said he was going back to Sarasota.
“Do you need a ride to your car?” he said to Audrey near his car.
“I’m parked just over there,” said Audrey.
Sam stood with Jeffrey on the driver’s side.
Jeffrey gave Sam some of his drawings.
“Thank you for coming,” said Sam. “I liked hanging out with you.”
“Me too,” said Jeffrey and then said a long sentence Sam responded to by making noises and nodding while thinking about how Audrey and Gina were standing in view, near the other side of the car, without talking to each other or looking at anyone.
“Do you want a ride to your car?” said Jeffrey to Audrey.
“No, I’m parked just over there,” said Audrey.
“Weird,” thought Sam. “He already asked that.”
Jeffrey and Gina got in the car. Sam saw Audrey walking away. “Wait, where are you going,” he said. “I’m alone.” Audrey walked toward Sam with a self-conscious facial expression. “We’ve pretty much done everything we can in Gainesville,” she said quickly. “Yup, there’s nothing left to do in Gainesv
ille. We’ve done everything.”
“What are we going to do,” said Sam.
“We can follow someone,” said Audrey.
They followed a small group of people in a band that Sam liked for about ten blocks. Someone offered Audrey twenty cents for a cigarette. Audrey said she didn’t have one. The person gave Audrey twenty cents. Audrey offered someone twenty cents for a cigarette. The person didn’t have one. “You should have screamed ‘fuck’ when he didn’t have one,” said Sam and turned and saw Audrey trying to open a locked door.
“Fuck,” she screamed with a serious facial expression.
Sam laughed. “Good job,” he said. “I want iced tea.”
They sat on a curb with iced tea and a double espresso. It was getting dark out. American Apparel was in view. Someone on the street messed up a trick on their skateboard. “You can’t skate,” shouted Audrey.
“What,” said the person skating away.
Audrey shouted “Obama” at the person.
“That was good,” said Sam. “You dominated him a lot.”
“I have an idea or something,” said Sam. “We should start from very far away and then run toward each other and then give each other high fives jumping in the air.”
“Let’s do it,” said Audrey beginning to stand.
“No, wait,” said Sam. “It’s better just to think about it.”
Audrey said something agreeing with Sam.
“Now what,” said Sam.
“I don’t know,” said Audrey.
It was quiet outside.
People were walking around.
Sam thought about what he was going to say.
“Do you want to go to that show at UF?” he said.
“Yes,” said Audrey.
On the University of Florida campus they went into the building the concert hall was in and each went in a bathroom. Sam came out and saw a missed call from Sharon. He text messaged Sharon that he would not be going to dinner. He walked around and didn’t see Audrey. There were many college students in the building. About twenty minutes later Sam saw Audrey walking out of the concert hall. They walked into the concert hall and sat against the back wall for about an hour. Audrey said one time she found a half-eaten watermelon inside a giant bush. They left the building around 9 p.m. and sat or stood in different places on campus. They walked into a very dark area with a small lake and a forest.
“Oh, this is where Ghost Mice played yesterday,” said Sam.
“I was here,” said Audrey. “Thomas saw you. He was like ‘there’s Sam.’ I was like ‘oh.’ I didn’t see you.”
“I didn’t know you were here,” said Sam.
Audrey said there was a path around the lake. She walked ahead of Sam into the forest. “This is good,” said Sam and saw car lights. “Wait, there’s a road right there. The road is ruining it for us.” Audrey laughed a little and held a palm frond out of the path. Sam walked past her and saw a chair and quickly sat on it. Audrey looked at Sam sitting on the chair. Sam stood and moved the chair onto the path. Audrey sat on the chair facing the lake. Sam stood behind her and massaged her head and she said it felt good. Her eyes were closed and she made quiet noises sometimes. Sam felt her leaning backwards into him. He looked at the moonlight reflected off the lake. He looked down and felt that he had seen Audrey at the end of a motion where she had looked up at him furtively. Sam thought about leaning down and kissing her while still standing behind her, with his head sideways, or upside-down a little, or something. Sam looked at the lake. He looked at Audrey’s nose ring. He leaned over and kissed her mouth and moved to the front of the chair while kissing her and she stood and they kissed for about ten minutes. “Do you want to go back to my car?” she said. “Yes,” said Sam. They kissed some more then stared at each other with neutral facial expressions. Sam thought that her facial expression was as neutral as Sheila’s when Sheila was in similar situations. Sam felt his own neutral facial expression. They walked out of the forest. People asked for their wristbands to get into the concert. They took off their wristbands and gave them to the people.
“Now what,” said Audrey in her car.
“Are you hungry?” said Sam.
“Not really. Are you?”
“I don’t know,” said Sam. “No, not really.”
They drove without talking for about ten minutes. A Rilo Kiley song played on repeat. Outside people were walking around or standing in groups on sidewalks. “We could go there,” said Sam about a shopping plaza. “Never mind, there isn’t anything there. I thought there was a Publix.”
“Where does Chris live?” said Audrey in a voice louder than normal.
They parked near Chris’ house and Sam opened his car door. “You’re leaving?” said Audrey. “That’s it? Well, okay, bye.”
Sam stared at Audrey with his hand on the door handle.
“That’s it,” she said. “We’re not going to hang out? Alright.”
“Do you want to come in?” said Sam.
“Yes. I thought you were leaving.”
“I thought you were coming with me,” said Sam.
“Me too,” said Audrey. “Sorry, maybe I mumbled.”
“I’m afraid of going in the house,” said Sam near the house. “When I’m inside they just stare at me and I don’t say anything. I’m going to call the one person I know.”
Sam called Joseph. There was no answer.
Audrey said she didn’t want to go in the house.
“Everyone will be like ‘who’s this girl,’ ” she said.
They opened a wooden gate and walked into the backyard. They saw people through a window moving around and laughing inside the house. They walked by the school bus and sat side-by-side at a picnic table. It was dark and quiet in the backyard. Sam took out his MacBook and asked Audrey if she wanted to check her email. “I don’t check my email,” she said. “My Toshiba broke. I don’t even have Gmail.” Sam started playing a song on his MacBook and said he liked the song and stopped it at eight seconds. Audrey said something about the drums being good. Sam put his MacBook in his backpack. They sat looking ahead, away from the house, at some tents and a fence and another house. Sam felt Audrey touching his head a little.
“I can’t do the massage thing,” she said quietly and stopped touching him.
There was a thing on the table and Sam touched it.
“What is this,” he said.
They touched the thing and looked at it.
“So you’re going back tomorrow?” said Audrey.
“Yeah,” said Sam. “My plane is at seven.”
“Am I ever going to see you again?”
“I don’t know,” said Sam after a few seconds.
“I want to go to New York City,” said Audrey.
“When?” said Sam.
“Soon,” said Audrey.
“What would you go for?”
“A better life,” said Audrey.
“Oh, you want to move there.” Sam looked at his cell phone and opened and closed it a few times. He laid his head on his arms facing away from Audrey. People in the house were talking and playing acoustic guitar.
“Well, I’ll probably just head back soon,” said Audrey.
“Okay,” said Sam and put his elbows on the table. “A mosquito bit my face last night,” he said. “When I was sleeping on the bus.” He touched his cheek and turned toward Audrey. He looked at her face as she looked at his cheek. He looked down at his cell phone in his lap.
“My cell phone is almost out of batteries,” he said.
“That sucks. You’ll probably need it tomorrow.”
They sat quietly for about ten seconds. There were faraway sounds of people doing things in other parts of the town.
“What did you want to be when you grew up?” said Audrey.
“Marine biologist,” said Sam.
TITLES IN THE COMPANION SERIES
THE ART OF THE NOVELLA
BARTLEBY THE SCRIVENER / HERMAN MELVILLE
THE L
ESSON OF THE MASTER / HENRY JAMES
MY LIFE / ANTON CHEKHOV
THE DEVIL / LEO TOLSTOY
THE TOUCHSTONE / EDITH WHARTON
THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES / ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
THE DEAD / JAMES JOYCE
FIRST LOVE / IVAN TURGENEV
A SIMPLE HEART / GUSTAVE FLAUBERT
THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING / RUDYARD KIPLING
MICHAEL KOHLHAAS / HEINRICH VON KLEIST
THE BEACH OF FALESÁ / ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON
THE HORLA / GUY DE MAUPASSANT
THE ETERNAL HUSBAND / FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY
THE MAN THAT CORRUPTED HADLEYBURG / MARK TWAIN
THE LIFTED VEIL / GEORGE ELIOT
THE GIRL WITH THE GOLDEN EYES / HONORÉ DE BALZAC
A SLEEP AND A FORGETTING / WILLIAM DEAN HOWELLS
BENITO CERENO / HERMAN MELVILLE
MATHILDA / MARY SHELLEY
STEMPENYU: A JEWISH ROMANCE / SHOLEM ALEICHEM
FREYA OF THE SEVEN ISLES/JOSEPH CONRAD
HOW THE TWO IVANS QUARRELLED / NIKOLAI GOGOL
MAY DAY / F. SCOTT FITZGERALD
RASSELAS, PRINCE ABYSSINIA / SAMUEL JOHNSON
THE DECEITFUL MARRIAGE / MIGUEL DE CERVANTES
THE LEMOINE AFFAIR / MARCEL PROUST
THE COXON FUND / HENRY JAMES
THE DEATH OF IVAN ILYICH / LEO TOLSTOY
TALES OF BELKIN / ALEXANDER PUSHKIN
OTHER TITLES IN
THE CONTEMPORARY ART OF THE NOVELLA SERIES
THE PATHSEEKER / IMRE KERTÉSZ
THE DEATH OF THE AUTHOR / GILBERT ADAIR
THE NORTH OF GOD / STEYE STERN
CUSTOMER SERVICE / BENOÎT DUTEURTRE
BONSAI / ALEJANDRO ZAMBRA
ILLUSION OF RETURN / SAMIR EL-YOUSSEF
CLOSE TO JEDENEW / KEVIN YENNEMANN
A HAPPY MAN / HANSJÖRG SCHERTENLEIB
SHOPLIFTING FROM AMERICAN APPAREL / TAO LIN
LUCINELLA / LORE SEGAL
SANDOKAN / NANNI BALESTRINI