I walk up to her, and she closes her book while offering up a small smile. “Good morning.”
“Morning. How was the rest of the party?” I ask, sitting down beside her.
She laughs. “I accidentally fell asleep on the patio.” She turns to her side and digs something out of her bag. “Here’s your jacket back. Thanks again for letting me borrow it.”
I take the jacket, but ask, “What?”
She nods. “After you left, it was so quiet, and I was warm for the first time. The last thing I remember is laying my head back.”
“And Nick didn’t bring you in?” I feel the anger rising in my chest.
She snorts and rolls her eyes. “Nick didn’t even know where I was. I found him asleep, face down in the middle of our bed. When I woke him in the morning, he thought I was the maid at the hotel he’s been staying at in New York. He called me Vicky.” She snorts and rolls her chocolate brown eyes.
I shake my head. “So, did you two…you know. Figure anything out?”
“Not yet. We’re having dinner tonight. So I guess we’ll see.” She smiles and looks up to the sky with hopeful eyes.
“I thought you were supposed to talk the next day?” I ask, confused, and now angry.
“We were going to, but Nick had some things come up at the local office, and he had to rush off. Why do you seem so angry?”
I look at the time on my watch. “I better get in there. Good luck, Dani,” I say, standing and walking away before I can spill any secrets.
There are more files piled up on my desk today, so I actually have to sit in the office and work all day. But as soon as five o’clock rolled around, I’m running toward the door. I climb behind the wheel of my car and peel out of the parking lot, breathing a sigh of relief when I don’t run into Dani. I don’t know how long I can keep seeing her and not telling her the truth. She needs to know. She deserves to know. But I don’t want to be the one that hurts her either. I guess all I can hope for is for her to turn him down when he asks her to marry him.
God, what if she says yes, thinking he’s made the decision to choose her instead of this new life he’s been living? Why am I feeling so much stress over a relationship that’s not even mine?
Because Dani is a great woman who deserves better. She’s smart and kind and beautiful. She doesn’t deserve to be taken advantage of. If she were mine, I’d never let her go. I wish I could show her what she’s really missing out on. Maybe that’s what I should do: show her how she should be treated, and hope she decides to leave Nick.
Fuck. Nick would kill me for touching her. For being the reason that she leaves him.
How long can I keep this up with them? This will-they-won’t-they crap is getting old. It’s not my place to tell her what he’s doing behind her back. I’m his friend, not hers. Annoyed by the whole situation I’ve brought upon myself, I go straight home and open the liquor cabinet. I pour a single glass and throw it back. It slides down too smooth, and I decide to ditch the glass. I grab the bottle and take it back to the couch with me. I throw myself down and take another long drink.
I wish I had someone to talk to about how I’m feeling and why I’m feeling this way. I just need to push both of them from my head. He isn’t a friend anymore, and she never was. Sure, she’s hot and cool to talk to, but I’m sure it’s not worth all this extra baggage. It’s not like I’m in love with the girl. I barely even know anything about her. I don’t know where she grew up, what her favorite food is, or what she likes to do other than read.
That’s it. My mind is made up. I’m done with Nick and all his bullshit. And when it comes to Danielle, I’ll just avoid her completely. It’s not like either of us go out of the way to talk or hang out. I’ll push her out of my mind until I no longer have to. What they do in their relationship is their business.
I lift the bottle to my lips and take a long drink. I drink and drink until I find my vision doubling. After I don’t know how long, I stand and go for a long, hot shower. I strip out of my clothes and turn on the hot water. Stepping beneath the stream is relaxing and relieving. I close my eyes and feel myself start to sway due to the alcohol.
I decide I better wash off quickly before I end up falling and busting my ass. When I step out of the shower, I wrap myself in a towel and fall into bed, too tired from thinking and too drunk to do anything but sleep.
“Levi,” someone shouts from behind me.
I turn my head around to see Danielle running up behind me with a big smile. I take a deep breath, then stop walking and turn around, so she doesn’t have to chase me down the hall in those heels. “Hey, what’s up?” I ask, rubbing my pounding forehead due to my hangover.
She holds up her left hand, showing me her new engagement ring. “It worked. I told him things had to go back to how they were or I’m leaving. He decided to commit. Can you believe it?” Her brown eyes are sparkling, and she’s wearing a wide smile.
“Yeah, I believe it,” I mumble, not at all happy that she’s still falling for his shit.
“What?” she asks, confused.
I plaster on my fake smile. “I mean, of course he did. I wouldn’t want to lose you either,” I say, recovering quickly.
Her mouth drops open like she just caught on to my little secret.
“If I were him, I mean.” I look at my watch. “Sorry, Dani. I have to get to this meeting. We’ll talk later.” Without another word, I turn around and leave before she can stop me.
Anger and annoyance pump through my body every time my heart beats. And that only angers me more since I just decided I’d stay out of their business. Even though I want to, I just can’t keep my distance. I want more for her. I want her happy. I realized I just want her.
Fuck. When did that happen?
I mean, I’ve always been attracted to her. Who isn’t? She’s beautiful. But I never had a problem keeping her off my mind before. Why is this suddenly a problem now? Maybe it is because I thought she was finally going to leave him. It’s not just that I want her; I want her to want a better life—a life away from him. It doesn’t even have to be with me.
I remember hearing about a similar situation with Callan and his wife. I wonder if I should talk to him about it, ask how he was able to keep himself in check. I head down to his office, and he’s sitting at his desk, behind his computer.
“Hey, man,” I say, walking in.
“Hey, Levi. What’s going on?” he asks, leaning back in his chair.
“I have something on my mind, and I wanted to ask your advice.”
He presses his lips together as he thinks it over. “Okay, shoot.”
I nod and take a deep breath, preparing myself. “Alright, well…I heard something a while ago. Something like, when you started having feelings for Val, you did certain things to keep yourself away from her, given that she was your best friend's sister, right?”
He nods slowly. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, it wasn’t the smartest idea. But what about it?”
“There’s this girl, and she’s with my ex-best friend. And he’s a complete ass. He cheats on her all the time, and he’s never home as he’s always away for work. And when he comes home, he’s more worried about parties than spending time with her. I was hoping she’d leave him because I’ve found myself having feelings for her, but he proposed to keep her from leaving, and she accepted.”
“Ouch,” he mutters.
“So now, I clearly can’t do anything about these feelings I’m suddenly having toward her. So, my question is, what did you do to keep your mind off Val?”
He laughs. “I hate to break it to you, man. But if your heart already made up its mind, you’re doomed.”
I groan, “Okay, then how do I get over her then?”
He shrugs. “Pick up another woman? Try and distract yourself. But I’ll be honest, nothing works.”
“Great,” I mumble as I stand, preparing to leave his office.
I put my hand on the door.
“Levi,” he says.
/> “Yeah?” I ask, turning back to look at him.
“If he’s as bad as you say he is, he’s bound to get caught. Just be patient and wait it out. Stay close with her and become her shoulder to cry on. When things go down, she’ll run right into your arms.”
4
Danielle
It’s been a week since Nick proposed, and he’s been in New York working ever since. A part of me is nervous about our engagement, but the other part wants to believe that Nick is serious about us, that he’s going to go back to how we used to be. When I told Levi the good news, I thought he’d be happy for me, but it was clear he wasn’t. Maybe he just isn’t convinced Nick is willing to change.
As I’m leaving the office for lunch, I see Levi walking up ahead. I jog up to him. “Hey, want to grab some lunch?” I ask.
He stops walking. “I was going to go across the street for a salad.”
I smile. “Sounds good to me. Care if I join?”
“I guess not,” he replies, resuming his walk.
We both walk across the street together, not saying a word. When we’re seated in a corner booth, and we both place our order, I open my mouth to speak.
“Levi, tell me what’s going on.”
His eyes grow wide. “What do you mean?”
“With us. Ever since I told you about the engagement, it feels like you’re avoiding me.”
“I just don’t want to get in the way, that’s all.”
“How could you possibly get in the way?” I ask, reaching over and covering his hand with mine. Something weird happens when we touch. My hand starts to tingle, then burn. It’s like we’re sharing an electric current.
His eyes zero in on our hands, and I quickly pull mine away, wondering if he felt it too.
“If you and Nick have figured things out, I’m happy for you. I really am. But I don’t want him thinking that something is going on with us. Figured it’d just be easier if we weren’t seen talking and hanging out at work.”
I wave my hand through the air. “Nick isn’t worried about you and me. He’s been in New York since he proposed. We talked, had dinner where he proposed, then he packed and went back for the workweek.”
“So, since you two are getting married, and he’s mainly stationed out there, does that mean you guys will be moving?” he asks, brows pulling together.
My mouth snaps shut as I think it over. “I don’t know. We haven’t had time to talk about it yet.”
“After all of this, how can you trust him, Dani? How can you be here while he’s there? You’re living two separate lives.” He picks up his water and takes a long drink.
I shake my head. “He’s never given me a reason to not trust him, Levi. I mean, sure, since he’s gotten this job, he’s acted a bit different. He’s partied more and experimented with drugs, but he promises I’m more important to him than any of that. He said he was just lost and confused with this new life of his, and that it was time he went back to normal.”
“And I could say I’m the Queen of England. It doesn’t make it true, Danielle,” he spits out.
My mouth drops open. “Why are you mad at me?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Never mind. I’m sorry. I’ve just had a bad day. I’m going to go.” He stands, pulls out his wallet, and drops a twenty on the table before leaving me sitting alone.
I can’t do anything but watch his back as he walks away from me. What just happened? Talk about some mixed signals.
I end up sitting and having lunch alone before going back to work, but for the rest of the day, I’m distracted. I can’t figure out why Levi would be so mad at me. I can’t help but think maybe he knows something I don’t or that he doesn’t want me to marry Nick. But why does he care? Nick is his best friend. But I guess they haven’t been close for a long time. Does he blame me for that? Does he think that if we get married, he and Nick will no longer be friends or something? It’s all so confusing. And it’s not like I can ask him. I highly doubt he’ll tell me what’s going on in that mind of his.
When the day ends, I go home to my quiet apartment. I change out of my work clothes and into something more comfortable. As I’m preparing dinner for myself, I pick up the phone and call Nick. The phone rings until it goes to voicemail. With a deep sigh, I hang up the phone and go back to the stove to finish cooking.
For the rest of the week, Nick and I play phone tag, and we never get to talk, but that’s okay because he’s coming home this weekend, and I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time together to celebrate our engagement. On my way home from work, Nick calls, and I’m actually able to answer.
“Hey,” I say into the phone.
“Hey, babe. What are you doing?” he asks, voice sounding happy.
“I’m on my way home from work. Where are you? Are you on your way?” Even I can hear the hope in my voice.
“Not yet. I got hung up, but I should be home later tonight. Then we can celebrate.” I can hear the smile on his face.
“I can’t wait,” I agree.
“Can you do me a favor? I was going to do it myself, but getting held up is throwing a wrench in my plans.”
“Sure, what do you need?”
“I need you to go by Levi’s and pick up a pair of tickets he scored for me.”
“Oh, where are you taking me?”
He laughs. “They’re not for us. They’re tickets I bought for some clients who are coming into town this weekend. I just wanted to make sure they have a good time, give them a little incentive, if you know what I mean.”
“Oh, okay. Sure, I guess I can do that.”
“Thanks, babe. I should be getting home between ten and midnight; it depends if the flight is on time.”
“Alright. I love you,” I say into the phone.
“I love you too. Bye, babe.” He hangs up without another word, and I can’t help but smile to myself. It feels like old times again, and I hope things stay this way.
I swing by Levi’s and knock on the door. I end up knocking two more times before he swings open the door in nothing but a towel around his waist, water rolling down every hard muscle.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt your shower,” I mumble, unable to take my eyes off his hard chest and abs.
“It’s no problem. What did you need?”
“Oh, right. Um, Nick asked me to swing by and pick up some tickets?” I have to forcibly move my eyes away from his ripped chest. It feels like my face has been set on fire.
“Alright. Come in,” he says, motioning me forward as he walks deeper into his apartment.
I sit on the edge of the couch and wait while he finds them.
He’s back within minutes. “Here they are,” he says, handing them over.
I take them and stand. “Okay, thanks.” I move toward the door, but he calls out my name.
“Dani?”
“Yeah?” I ask, spinning around to face him.
“I’m really sorry about the other day.” He chuckles. “Well, I’m really sorry about the past week, actually. I know I’ve been acting weird toward you, and I just wanted you to know that it’s not you. It’s me. I’ve just been going through some stuff lately.” His eyes pop up to mine, and I can see how glassy and bloodshot they are. Has he been drinking?
“Do you want to talk about it?” I offer.
“No, it’s nothing. I guess I’m just a little thrown off by this engagement. I mean…never mind. It’s none of my business.” He moves closer to me, reaching behind me to open the door, but I don’t budge.
“What do you mean, Levi? You don’t think Nick will change, do you?” What Levi thinks about Nick is important to me. They’ve known one another for years. Levi knows Nick better than anyone, better than me in some ways because Nick doesn’t open up to me the same way he does with Levi.
Without saying a word, he shakes his head no. “I’d just hate for him to trick you into marriage just so he can go back to his old ways. If you thought you felt trapped a week ago, wait until there�
��s a legal document binding you to him.”
I open my mouth, but no words come out. He’s right. A ring is no guarantee. The promise he made, it’s no different from all the other promises he’s made over the years.
“I’d just hate to see you hurt, Dani,” he whispers, his breath blowing across my face as our eyes lock.
Something is being exchanged between us in this heated stare we’re sharing. My stomach muscles tighten when this swirl of tingling takes over. Something is drawing us closer. I’m locked in his gaze and can’t escape.
His eyes closed as his lips draw closer to mine. He’s so close that I can taste the whiskey on his breath. He wets his lips moments before his mouth pressed against mine.
My lips begin tingling, and my eyes flutter closed. I lose all train of thought when his tongue slides into my mouth, against my own. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands land on my hips, squeezing, as his chest presses against mine. We stumble backward until my back hits the door. At this moment, I can’t think of anything except the way his lips feel against mine, and how good he causes my body to feel.
Our tongues tangle together at lightning speed, and my hands begin touring his hard chest and abs. He catches my wrist in his hand, and he pins it up above my head as he slowly breaks the kiss. He looks me in the eye, but he doesn’t pull away completely.
“If it’s that easy for you to get lost in a kiss with me, you don’t love him,” he whispers. “Not the way you’re supposed to.”
With his words, I suddenly realize how wrong this is. I remember Nick and our promise to one another, the ring on my finger.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “This is wrong.” I jerk my hand away from his and push him back as I spin around, grabbing the doorknob and running from his apartment. By the time I reach my car, I’m breathless from my quick exit. Tears burn my eyes. I haven’t kissed anyone but Nick in years. And I do it now, now that we’re engaged? What’s wrong with me? I can’t believe I fucked up like that.
My Best Friend’s Ex: Make Her Mine-Book 4 Page 3