Our Forever

by Elena Matthews

  “I think he was.” Drew’s four words bring me out of my thoughts.

  “What? You think he was going to propose to me?” I ask to make sure I understand him right.

  “He was with you, right? That made him one hell of a lucky guy. Of course he was going to propose. He’d have been stupid not to, and something tells me, he was a smart man, so stupid wouldn’t have been in his repertoire.”

  My bottom lip begins to tremble, and I have to swallow the lump I feel lodged in my throat. I’ve always been in denial, always unsure, when it came to the question I’ve been asking myself over and over again during the past five years. However, today, Drew has made me believe every word he has said.

  “You’re right. He was a smart man. The most intelligent man I ever knew.”

  “Well then, there’s your answer.”

  Yeah, I guess I do have my answer.

  “Thank you,” I say in a quiet, timid voice, feeling a little overwhelmed.

  “Thank you for what?”

  “For understanding. Behind those tattoos and rock-star looks, you’re really just a sweetheart.”

  “Shh, just don’t tell anybody. I have a rep to uphold.”

  I laugh softly, unable to constrain an eye roll. “Of course you do. Don’t worry; your secret’s safe with me.”

  His laughter can be heard from the phone.

  His huskiness that soothes through me has the next words just flowing from my mouth. “So, I kind of have a confession.”

  “And what’s that?” he questions, his voice deep with intrigue.

  “I overheard you playing your guitar.”

  “Yeah?” he asks, stunned.

  “Yeah. You’re amazing. I’ve been wanting to hear you play again.” I should be embarrassed to admit that, but I’m not. I feel weirdly comfortable around him, and hearing him play would make my day a little better—well, what’s left of it anyhow.

  “You have, have you?” His surprised tone turns a little smug.

  I find myself smiling. “You don’t have to be so bigheaded about it.”

  “I can play for you now, if you want?” he asks seriously, ignoring my previous statement.

  “What? Over the phone?”

  “Well, I could serenade you out in the corridor, but your bitchy self would just come and kick my ass for the music being too loud.”

  A boisterous cackle splutters from my mouth, causing dribble to run down my chin. Nice.

  “The phone will be fine,” I say, wiping down my chin.

  “Okay. I’ll go get my guitar. You in the mood for acoustic or electric?”

  “Acoustic, please.” Definitely acoustic.

  “Acoustic coming right up.”

  I get myself comfortable on the sofa, snuggling up with a cushion on my lap, as I hear shuffling around in the background.

  After a moment, Drew says, “I’m going to put you on speakerphone.”

  “Okay,” I reply with a soft smile. I can’t keep the thrill of excitement from running through my veins at the prospect of hearing him play again.

  I hear the distinct sounds of him tuning up his guitar.

  Then, he asks me, “What would you like to hear me play?”

  “Anything. Surprise me.”

  I wait for a sarcastic reply, but instead, my ears are met with the first strum of the guitar. After a few seconds, I close my eyes on a relaxing exhale when I hear his husky voice through the phone. I don’t recognize the song, but instantaneously, I become lost in the sounds he effortlessly creates with a single instrument. His voice calms me, the lyrics speaking to me. He’s describing, how out of all the girls, she’s the only one for him, and nobody in the world can compare. I don’t fool myself into thinking that Drew is singing these beautiful lyrics to me, but he seems to be relaying the words that he knows I need to hear.

  Drew is singing this for us—Christopher and me.

  I’m this girl, in a scenario where it’s just Christopher and me. He’s telling me that Christopher is still my forever even though he’s no longer by my side.

  And a tiny part of me falls in love with Drew.

  It’s not in the oh-my-God-I’ve-fallen-head-over-heels-in-love way, but something inside me feels a little different.

  I think he’s just healed a tiny piece of my heart.

  Ever since Christopher’s death, all I’ve felt is excruciating heartache, but in this moment, Drew’s voice is my saving grace.

  At this point, tears are streaming down my face, but that doesn’t stop me from heading toward the front door. His perfection that is his voice continues to sing, his fingers creating melodic magic with his guitar, as I make determined steps forward, in the direction of Drew. I’m not worried about Junior since he’s tucked in bed, fast asleep, but I’ll make sure this is quick.

  Seconds later, I’m in front of Drew’s apartment just as the song comes to a subtle end, leaving me wanting more—in every way possible.

  I go to knock on his door, but instead, I say in a strained, emotion-ridden voice, “Open the door.”

  Drew is silent, but I hear the gentle sounds of him setting his guitar down. The moment he opens his door, I don’t think. I just…do.

  My lips crash onto his with a force that causes him to lose his balance for a moment, but he soon rights himself by tightly clutching ahold of me while he kisses me back with the same ferocity that’s coursing through my veins. His mouth devours mine with every breath I take. When he lifts me in his arms and has me pressed up against the wall of his apartment, I can’t keep the gasp from escaping the back of my throat.

  I unconsciously wrap my legs around his thighs, deepening the connection between us, and I groan into his mouth when I feel the shape of his erection pushing against the center of me.

  This kiss is nothing like any I’ve ever experienced.

  It’s rough, explicit, and incredibly hot.

  Drew tilts my head back to deepen the kiss, his tongue circling mine with light feathery strokes intermixed with intoxicating nips along my lips. I haven’t kissed anyone in what feels like a lifetime, but this kiss is well worth the wait, and it makes me appreciate it all the more.

  All too soon, Drew is the first to pull away, and I hate the immediate loss of no longer feeling the scorching heat of his lips against mine. His hooded eyes are wild as they take in my face, the blush in his cheeks matching my own. My heart rapidly beats in my chest at the intensity behind his stare. It’s erotically beautiful, as if he wants to throw me over his shoulder, take me into his bedroom, and have his wicked way with me. A small part of me wishes he would do that.

  Instead, he breathlessly pants, “Wow.”

  Yeah, wow.

  I realize that my hands have a tight hold of his hair, so I ease my fingers, but I don’t want to remove them.

  “What was that song?” I croak out, my voice strained with emotion, tears clear in my eyes.

  “It was ‘You and I’ by John Legend.”

  I wasn’t expecting that. Especially not John Legend.

  He smiles at the surprised look on my face. “What? You didn’t think I was capable of playing anything other than crap music?”

  “No…well, actually, yeah,” I say with a sheepish smile. “You’ve definitely surpassed my expectations; that’s for sure.”

  After a moment, my smile fades, and I find myself staring into his gaze. “That song…” The words come out of my mouth on a breathless sigh, and the mere mention has shivers running through my body. It’s a song that will stay with me for a long time. “It was beautiful. Thank you for playing it.”

  He leans in closer until his forehead rests against mine. “You’re welcome, sugar.”

  I have to close my eyes when another set of goose bumps erupts at the feel of his warm breath against my lips. They soon reopen at the sound of Drew’s voice.

  “It’s one of my favorites to play, and now, I can see why.”

  He looks between us, and I can see the playful glint in his eyes. My lips pu
ll up at the corners of my mouth with a smile. Silence covers us, and my body fills with warmth as his intense blue eyes take in every inch of my face.

  “What is this, Jo? What are we doing right now?”

  We were kissing. But I know that’s not what he’s asking. I struggle to find the words to explain what happened, why I’m here, but I’m at a loss for what to say.

  “I thought you weren’t ready. Hell, I know you’re not ready, but that was some kiss.”

  “I know I’m not ready, but I heard you playing that song for me, and I just…gah, I can’t explain it. All I know is, it felt right.”

  “The kiss or the song?”

  “Both. Definitely both.”

  “I’ve heard of the rock-star effect, but I’ve never gotten to experience it for myself—until now,” he says with a chuckle, a little proud of himself.

  I throw my head back with a carefree laugh, and I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this. I don’t know about the rock-star effect, but I’m definitely experiencing the Drew effect. He’s bringing things out of me that I haven’t felt in a long time.

  I feel lighter, happier.

  My thoughts go to Junior, and I realize that I need to get back to him. I don’t want him waking up to find that I’m not there.

  “I need to get back to Junior, but just so you know, this isn’t me. I don’t make a habit of kissing my neighbors. You’re my first since Christopher.”

  His stare grows serious as he seems to inwardly calculate for a moment. “That was your first kiss in five years?”

  He seems to be astonished by this, not that I can blame him. It is a long time.

  “Well, it’s almost been six years, but yes.”

  “If you haven’t been kissed in five years, does that mean, you haven’t had sex in that long either?”

  I simply give a nod of my head, and his eyes grow wide.

  “I definitely need to let you go before I do more than kiss you right now. It’s like telling a guy that you’re a virgin. You can already feel the effect you have on me.”

  I don’t know if this is a deliberate move of his, but with a slight repositioning of his hips, I feel exactly how much I’m affecting him, more so than before, and there’s a lot of him. A lot. The friction I feel between my thighs becomes unbearable, and I’m unable to suppress the whimper of a groan from escaping my lips.

  Drew growls with frustration. “You need to get that sexy ass of yours out of my apartment and into yours—and bolt the door.”

  His threat does nothing to simmer the heat running through my body, and even though I’ve fantasized about being with him sexually, I know I’m not ready, no matter how incredible he feels.

  He gently sets me on my feet and lets go. My eyes instinctively go to his crotch, and I take a step back when I realize he really needs me to go. The term blue balls comes to mind.

  Drew’s phone suddenly appears in front of my face, and I quickly remember dropping it on the floor. I take it from him and give it a once-over for any damage, but I barely see a scratch.

  I step into the hallway and walk the eight steps to my apartment backward, watching as Drew follows me every step.

  “You didn’t have to walk me to my door,” I say once we’ve reached my apartment. It’s literally eight steps.

  “I wanted to…so I could do this.”

  He embraces me in his arms by my waist and tenderly presses a kiss against my lips. It’s different than before. It’s gentle, less hungry-filled, and I find myself even more turned on. I like his soft side just as much as his rough side. He pulls away after several seconds, leaving me a little out of breath, and the way his eyes focus solely on me makes me feel like he’s worshipping me, inside and out.

  “I thought you needed me inside my apartment with the door bolted,” I say with a playful smile once I’m able to catch my breath.

  “I do. I didn’t know when I’d get to kiss those pretty lips again, so I was just getting my fill.”

  My smile turns coy as I turn toward my door. “Night, Drew.”

  “Good night, sugar.”

  I leave the heat of his stare searing into the ass of my jeans and let myself into my apartment. Once inside, I head to my son’s bedroom to check on him, and I find him still fast asleep in the same position he was when I checked on him half an hour ago. I press a gentle kiss to his forehead before heading in the direction of the bathroom to grab a shower.

  Once I’m in bed, with the sheets covering me, I grab my phone, hoping that maybe a game of Candy Crush will help tire me out, when I see a text message from Drew.

  Drew: Cold showers suck.

  I laugh out loud as I reply to his text message.

  Me: Did you really have a cold shower?

  Drew: Yes. How else was I supposed to calm myself down?

  Me: I don’t know. Yoga?

  Drew: I’m more of a football guy, and…well, I can imagine how badly that would have turned out.

  Me: Yeah, that could have been disastrous. Wouldn’t it be weird to be sporting wood at a football game?

  Drew: Yes, you have a point—hence why it was safer to have a cold shower.

  Immediately after sending his last text, I see another message being typed, so I wait a second.

  Drew: You doing okay, sugar?

  In other words, am I freaking out over our kiss? No, surprisingly, I’m not.

  I haven’t been plagued with the guilt that would usually reside in the pit of my stomach right about now. This is new.

  Me: I’m feeling good. Amazing, in fact. I know I said I couldn’t go on a date with you, but things have changed since this afternoon. I’m still not ready, but maybe I will be one day soon. You just have to be patient with me.

  Drew: Nothing but baby steps. You have to learn how to walk before you can fly.

  I smile at his encouraging words. He’s right, and I think I might have fallen in love with him even more.

  This man seems to be capturing my heart, piece by piece, and that’s only after today. I’m almost afraid to see where my heart will be in a month’s time.

  The next week passes by, and the heated kiss has been forgotten about. Well, actually, it hasn’t been, as I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, but Drew hasn’t mentioned it ever since. I suppose it’s his way of letting me learn how to walk before I can fly, but my brain has been inundated by that kiss, and I’ve found myself wanting to rewind the clock back to last Sunday, so I can relive that kiss again. In fact, I want to do more than relive that kiss, but I know it’s something I can’t rush into. I have to go slow and take each day as it comes. I just wish I could stop playing that damn kiss on a loop. It’s highly distracting.

  Our text messages have been more frequent, and I’ve found myself having extra little breaks at work just so I can text him back. It’s ridiculous how my life seems to be so centered on waiting for his next text. It’s even gotten to the point that I’m relentlessly checking the phone for messages even though I know I haven’t heard the alert tone. It’s probably the reason I find myself working at ten thirty on a Friday night. Those brief text messages have put me behind schedule, and the presentation I need to have polished for my client by Monday morning is only halfway done.

  So, my best friend tonight is coffee. Lots of it.

  However, the coffee isn’t really helping because, ten minutes further into my work, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open. I go to make myself another cup of coffee when the nemesis himself texts me. He’s only the nemesis right now because I have all this work to do.

  Drew: You busy?

  Me: Yes. I’m washing my hair.

  Seconds later, the phone begins to ring, and when I answer it, I hear him snickering.

  “Wow, you’re in a snarky mood tonight. Need some sugar?” he asks.

  “No, what I need right now is an IV bag full of coffee to get me through the night. I have so much work to do; I could cry right now.”

  “I have just the thing for yo
u.”

  “A shotgun?” I joke.

  “No.” He laughs. “It’s in the sugary form. I’ll be round in a second.” He disconnects the call.

  Thirty seconds later, I hear a slight tap on the door. I go to let Drew in, and I find him with a box in his hands.

  “Show me what you’ve got,” I demand, needing to put some sugar in my system. I really do turn into a bitch without it, and right now, I’m raging.

  He steps by me, watching me with amusement. “Well, if you’ll give me just a minute to put the box down, I’ll drop my pants and show you.”

  He winks, and I retaliate with a roll of my eyes.

  “No time for jokes. Give me some sugar.”

  He raises his brow, and I burst out laughing.

  Wow, I’m really coming out with them tonight.

  “Can I please eat something sugary before I explode?”

  He suggestively arches his eyebrow again, and before he can comment on yet another possible innuendo, I steal the box from his hands and make my way to the kitchen. I set the box on the kitchen counter and open it up. My mouth immediately begins to water at the various sugary desserts from doughnuts to tartlets to cupcakes, and I’m suddenly in sugar heaven. It’s exactly what I need right now.

  I take the first thing I can get my hands on—a chocolate-covered doughnut—and the moment it touches my lips and my teeth sinks into the soft texture, I can’t keep the whimper from my mouth.

  “Oh my God,” I praise with a mouthful of the best thing that has ever graced my mouth. Once I’ve swallowed, I admire the chocolaty goodness as if it’s the Holy Grail before taking another bite, moaning as the sweet-as-sin flavors burst on my tongue.

  It should be illegal for things to taste this good.

  “Where did you get these from? Seriously, I’m in love right now.”

  “Do I need to leave you and the doughnut alone?” he asks with a lighthearted smile, chuckling.

  I gently laugh before taking another bite, this time keeping the groans to myself.

  “I should feel jealous of the attention that doughnut is getting, yet I’m actually feeling a little turned on.”