“My mom would never have let me come home, knowing I would have to quit the band—my dream—in order to do so. So, I lied and told her that the band members had gone their separate ways. It was the only way. She was my number one fan, always driving me toward the one thing I loved—my music. I just despised lying to her, and to this day, I hate myself for keeping something important from her before she died.”
His eyes droop closed, and I watch how he lets his head fall back against the sofa, his forehead wrinkling with tension. This explains the haunted look that was etched along his face a moment ago. I feel an urge to smooth the crinkles away with the pad of my thumb—or perhaps kiss them away with a lingering brush of my lips.
I don’t get the chance to do either when his clear blue eyes blink open. The creases smooth out when he intently focuses his attention on me. Silence falls between us, and I find myself feeling hot under the collar with the brilliance of his stare.
“God,” he begins with a satisfying yet frustrating sigh, “you’re so fucking beautiful.”
My heart jolts to a stop and then sets off into a gallop in a matter of a millisecond.
Okay, that’s not what I was expecting him to say.
In an instant, my heart takes over all sensible brain cells, and before I can register the move, I’m straddling his lap and slamming my lips onto his. On an animalistic growl, he pulls me further into his body, his hands caressing my back, and I groan at the eruption of shivers that his touch brings. Feverishly, his tongue traces mine, and I join him at his furious pace with our bodies sensually pressed tightly together. I blindly bring my fingers through the soft tendrils of his hair, occasionally tugging at the ends a little, instigating grunts from Drew.
I feel the tips of his warm hands sliding under my thin T-shirt, and the skin-on-skin contact has me responding with an arch of my spine as I hiss into his mouth, heat blazing through me. With the repositioning of my hips, I can feel Drew—all of him.
When the possibility of what this could quite easily turn into brings me out of my senses a little, I break away from his mind-blowing kiss, breathing heavily.
I press my lips together as I lay my head against Drew’s. The hands that were buried in his hair are now resting against the firm muscles of his chest. The tips of my fingers feel the patter of his heartbeat, and it’s racing, much like mine.
“You can’t say things like that to me,” I say on a broken whimper.
“Why not?” he responds with an amused smile, one I can’t help but reciprocate.
“When you tell me I’m beautiful, I can’t seem to control myself.”
“I kind of like it when you lose control.”
I hate to admit it, but so do I.
“I have to take things slow, and well”—I glance between us with a bashful smile—“this isn’t taking it slow.”
“Well, I hate to point out the obvious, but you jumped on me, remember?” he goads with a twinkle in his eye.
A blush rises along my cheeks when I realize he’s right. I was the one who initiated this kiss by pouncing on him. Hell, I have no idea where that came from.
I can’t remember ever being this sexually riled up. Before I met Drew, I was fine, but now, whenever I’m in his presence, every single inch of my body is hyperaware of him, even when he isn’t touching me. It’s unnerving yet exhilarating.
The tip of his thumb grazes my flushed cheek, and I’m forced to look at him.
“Hey, don’t be embarrassed. It was hot, sugar.” His roughened thumb gently travels down my cheek until it reaches my plump lips. “The only time I want to see this pretty skin of yours flush like that is when your body is writhing with pleasure.”
I inwardly moan, and with a shove against his chest, I begin to climb off of him, shaking my head with a bemused smile at the audacity of his words.
“Where are you going?” His hands reach for my waist, and he tightens his hold just above my hips.
“I’ve hit my limit. I need off before I…” I trail off, unsure of what I would do.
I know that it would be amazing, hot, and possibly earth-shattering, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been intimate with anyone. Last time, it was with someone I was hopelessly in love with. What I’m feeling for Drew is strong, scarily so, but it’s not what I had with Christopher—not yet at least.
“Before you what?” he questions with a mischievous squint.
I playfully smack his chest before successfully removing myself from his grasp. “Nope. I’m not answering that.”
I can hear his chuckle as I stand up and begin to walk in the direction of the bedrooms. I pivot my body to face him and walk a few steps backward. “I’ll be back in a minute. I’m just checking on Junior. It should give you enough time to”—I look down toward his strained jeans—“calm yourself. If not, then you know where the door is.” I turn around, and I’m left walking away with a huge grin on my face.
A gasp of laughter leaves my lips when I hear him jokingly grumble under his breath, “You take the fun out of everything, woman.”
Last night, once my libido cooled down, Drew and I spent the wee hours of the morning talking about anything and everything, including how he’s never given up on his music. He might have missed out on the biggest opportunity of a lifetime when he walked away from Reckless Romance, but surprisingly, it hasn’t made him a bitter person.
He told me, “What’s the point of being bitter when something better could come along at any second, something bigger than any pipe dream could aspire to?”
And, from the intensity of his stare, I got the sneaking suspicion he wasn’t talking about music. In that moment, I was filled with an overwhelming emotion, and I had to excuse myself to the bathroom for a short breather. When I returned, I stilled in my steps when I noticed that Drew had fallen asleep. A part of me wanted to wake him, still feeling a little overcome with his words and the real meaning behind them.
Not having the heart to wake him since he looked so peaceful, instead, I grabbed a blanket from my closet and covered him with it. I sidled up next to him and spent the early hours of the morning finishing my work. His presence seemed to be the push I’d needed to get it completed.
I don’t remember falling asleep, but I can feel myself rouse at the feel of his warm, silky breath on my ear, whispering, “Sugar, wake up. It’s seven in the morning.”
My eyes flicker open, and much to my surprise, his eyes are the first things I catch sight of. My breath hitches at the incredible way the morning sunshine highlights his perfect features, his blue eyes more prominent against the radiant light. It takes a few seconds to pry my eyes away from him, and when I do, I finally come to the realization that I’m lying between him and the sofa, our legs entwined and my fingers tightly clutching his T-shirt.
“Morning.” He looks at me with a lazy smile. “I guess we both fell asleep last night, huh?”
“I guess we did,” I say as I let out a huge yawn.
I sense I should attempt to get off of him, but I’m unable to make the first move. It feels right. He feels right. Being in the arms of Drew is everything, and I had no idea I’d get to experience this again. I’m happy. I’m content.
“I should get going. I wouldn’t want Junior to see this.”
“Absolutely not,” I say in agreement.
But neither of us moves. The proximity between us makes the air feel heavy, and my breathing begins to falter as his eyes search mine, his stare hypnotic. I find it impossible to tear my gaze from his, and for a split second, our surroundings become nonexistent. My heart picks up speed as he inches forward until his mouth is almost touching mine.
“I should definitely go,” he whispers against my lips.
I give a gentle nod, letting out a shuddering exhale. “You definitely should.”
Again, we don’t budge an inch, yet it feels like the earth is spinning around us.
“But I also want to kiss you.”
My heart begins to thunder in my chest
at the way his words sound coming from his mouth.
“Hmm…well, I wouldn’t stop you if you did…”
He slightly pulls back, and I notice how his eyes darken with lust, but I can also see a hint of humor in the depths of them.
“That’s good to know.”
He closes the distance, and just as his lips touch mine with the barest of grazes, the groan that I can feel building in my chest turns into a sigh of disappointment at the sound of his phone ringing from his pocket.
He lets out a breathless laugh as he drops his head to mine. “Sophie has the worst timing.”
“Sophie?” I ask, trying to ignore the flash of jealousy I feel at the mere mention of a female’s name.
He pulls away until I get a full view of his face. “She works at the bakery. I was supposed to open up an hour ago.”
My lust-filled haze dissolves into the background, and I’m finally the first to move with a firm push against his chest. “Well, go then!”
He latches on to my fingers and keeps them held firmly to his chest. “I am, but first, I want to know your plans for tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Yes. Tonight. This evening. Nightfall. Whatever you want to call it.”
I roll my eyes with amusement before answering him, “Well, nothing actually. Junior’s heading to your sister’s for his first sleepover with Mason.”
“That’s perfect. Come and watch me play tonight. I have a regular gig at a club called Molly’s. I’d love it if you were in the crowd, cheering me on.” He gives me a warm smile.
I match his smile, and with a nod, I say, “I’d love to.”
He presses a kiss against my temple before pulling away and standing up, leaving the space he previously dominated feeling cold and empty. “I’ll text you the details. I’ll see you tonight, sugar.”
He winks, and it feels like my fourteen-year-old self has been resurrected from the dead with the way I almost turn to goo at his simple gesture.
“Bye,” I softly call out as he exits the apartment. Once I hear the door shut, I close my eyes and nod off with a smile on my face.
I wake up a short while later, and that’s when it hits me.
I have absolutely nothing to wear.
I spend the next twenty minutes searching through my closet, and I frustratingly cry out when all I see are jeans after jeans, and among the mix are basic T-shirts. Normally, I wouldn’t be this worked up over a wardrobe choice. I would just throw on my mundane clothes and be done with it. It’s how I’ve done things for the past five years. My appearance has been the last thing on my mind. The last time I wore something that was remotely girlie was the weekend of Junior’s Uncle Tyler’s wedding last year where I wore not only one but two dresses, including the bridesmaid dress—which, quite frankly, showed a little too much cleavage than I’m usually willing to show.
Other than the wedding, I’ve never had an occasion to get dressed up.
Until now.
Despite my lack of wardrobe choices, I’m excited to see Drew in action since the last two times I only listened to him sing. I have a feeling that maybe watching him onstage will be my undoing, and that scares me because I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to resist him. And I don’t mean physically. I mean, on an emotional level. He’s making me feel things that I thought I’d only ever feel with Christopher, heart-wrenchingly beautiful things, and the strange thing is, I’m not freaking out about it.
I convinced myself that I would never be able to feel again, but Drew makes me feel. He makes an ordinary touch feel extraordinary. His hypnotic blue eyes can make me quiver in places that I thought was humanly impossible, and his presence alone makes my heart race wildly in my chest.
After the pain I’ve had to endure after Christopher’s death, I swore to myself that I would never let another person in, but Drew is seemingly doing so with minimal effort.
I might still be in love with a ghost, but this thing between me and Drew feels instinctual. It feels right. He’s bringing me out of myself in ways I haven’t been able to imagine since the moment my world turned upside down. I feel like, after all this time, I can finally breathe, and it’s revitalizing.
Although, right now, I’m almost hyperventilating at the prospect of attending this gig naked. I immediately get Kaelyn on FaceTime, and the instant her pretty face flickers on the screen, I’m frantic.
“I need your help! I have nothing to wear, and I’m freaking out. Help me.” The words come out a mile a second, and I’m out of breath with the impact of my inner panic.
Her expression is a mixture of amusement and concern. “Whoa, Blondie. Slow down, and say that in English. It’s the only language I can actually speak.”
In defeat, I slump down on my ottoman that’s situated at the end of my bed. “Drew’s invited me to watch him play tonight, and I haven’t got a thing to wear. I’d go shopping, but I hate shopping. Plus, I’d have no idea what the hell to buy. What do you wear to a gig?” My hyperventilating turns more hysterical, and I growl with frustration as I lie back on the bed with the iPad held up in front of me. The sudden change in gravity makes it feel as if the blood is rushing to my head.
“Okay, two things. One. Calm. The. Fuck. Down,” she enunciates slowly, her eyes piercing into mine with an authoritative glare. “Two, holy shit, you’re finally going on a date!” The glare turns into a full-blown smile.
“No, it’s not a date. He just invited me to watch him play, but I won’t be going if I have nothing to wear.”
“It might not be a date, but it’s obviously a big deal if you’re freaking out over a wardrobe choice. In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never given a shit before.”
She’s right; I’ve never been into my looks. Yes, I wear makeup to hide a few blemishes and to lighten up my pasty complexion, but I’ve always been a tomboy when it comes to clothes, even more so after I lost Christopher. I’ve hidden myself away, hidden my femininity, behind boyish clothes, like protective armor, because I haven’t wanted anybody to see the real me.
But, with Drew, I don’t want to hide from him. The possibility of pushing my boundaries scares me, but the possibility of spending another five years in a dark-filled pit of agonizing pain petrifies me even more. I can’t continue on the path of destruction that’s been my life for so long. I have to continue with my life, and a high level of anticipation runs through my body at the thought of moving on with my life with Drew.
I want to make an effort to show Drew that I’m ready for the date he promised me. I’m nervous, but I’m ready. That, and I want to find my sexuality again. I want to feel sexy and desirable, and when Drew’s up there onstage, I want to be the only person he can see through the throng of people.
However, the pathetic content of my wardrobe won’t help achieve that.
“Will you please help me?” I ask as I sit up. “I’m freaking out. It’s been so long since I’ve gone out, and it’ll be the first time since I’ve moved here. I’ve become such a social recluse.”
“Yes, I’ll help. Now, please stop freaking out. What time is it now?”
I glance at the watch around my wrist. “It’s nine.”
“So, if I set off in about fifteen minutes, I can be in Austin around twelve thirty.”
“What?” I stress. “You can’t drive all the way here just so you can choose my outfit. No, just tell me what to wear.”
“And where’s the fun in that?” she questions with an entertaining glint in her eyes.
I roll my eyes. She always has an answer for everything.
“I’ll pack a few things, and I’ll stay over for the weekend. I’ve missed you, Jo. Dallas hasn’t been the same without you.”
“Don’t bullshit me. I can imagine Dallas is the same, even without little old me.”
“Would I lie to you?”
“Yes,” I say with a shit-eating grin.
I’m joking, of course. Kaelyn is one of the most honest people I know. I think she would
break out in hives if she had to tell a little white lie.
“You’re such a liar.” Kaelyn laughs. “So, am I welcome in the house of crazy?”
“Yes. Get your ass here.”
She smiles her pretty pink lips at me. “Don’t worry; I won’t crash your date. The kid and I can have an evening of trashy movies and bad food.”
“Junior already has plans with Drew’s nephew and is staying the night. Plus, it’s not a date, so you can come with me since there is nothing to crash.”
“Whatever you say.”
“It’s not a date. Here,” I say as I reach over to the nightstand and grab the iPhone that’s used only to text Drew, “I’ll prove it to you.”
Kaelyn laughs as I set the iPad down on the bed for a second before quickly typing out a text message on Drew’s phone.
Me: My best friend, Kaelyn, thinks we’re going on a date tonight. Can you set her straight, please?
Almost as if he’s been waiting for the text message, he replies instantly.
Drew: Tell Kaelyn it’s only a date if you call it one. ;)
My lips twitch with amusement. I go to relay the message to Kaelyn when I see the three dots moving across the screen. I wait a few beats until another message comes through.
Drew: Seriously, our first date will be a lot more memorable and hopefully involve a lot less clothes. ;)
At least once a day, he makes my heart feel as if it’s about to detonate within my chest, and this is one of those moments.
Holy shit. I have to restrain from fanning myself at the impact of his words. I decide to keep the last message to myself and repeat the original message to Kaelyn as I pick the iPad back up.
“So, now, do you believe me that it’s not a date?”
“Yes, but I guarantee, by the end of the night, you’ll be treading into date territory, especially with how fucking hot you’re going to look, rocking the outfit I’m about to pick out. We’ll both look hot tonight.”
I’d be lying if I said her words didn’t pique my interest, but I don’t point out that Drew and I have already been crossing the line of our friendship for the past week with not one but two incredibly explosive kisses. A warm tingle erupts down my spine at the memory of his lips pressed against mine.
Our Forever Page 10