The Green Beans, Volume 2: The Strange Genius of Lefty O'Houlihan
Page 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
An Improper Use of SunTech
“What’s the matter, Lefty?” Ebenezer called, as he circled in the sky above. He had achieved a bird’s eye view, thanks to his jetpack. “Can you not appreciate the product of true genius?”
The thing that came from the barn was a mechanical monster. It was gargantuan in girth, and testy in temperament. Now, it became clear what Jasper had been up to, with all of the dismantled tractors and vehicles that littered his yard. For the monster that erupted from the barn had been built from various machines, combined to create one spectacular and terrifying entity.
So what Lefty had said was true… despite his many shortcomings, Jasper was a mechanical engineer of remarkable talent and vision. There could be no clearer evidence than the behemoth that now lumbered forth.
Though it was difficult for the Beans or their friends to study the monster with a great deal of attention, due to the rather stressful circumstances, it seemed that the thing was made from pieces of bulldozers, and backhoes, and tractors, all welded and bolted together to create something that looked like a motorized dinosaur. It was a mishmash of reds, blues, yellows, and greens, revealing the original paint jobs of the machines that had contributed to its formation.
It stood upright on a pair of thick legs, and it had mechanical talons that dug into the earth as it clomped about, bellowing and roaring. A bright, yellow tail swayed behind it, providing balance. It had two arms that swiveled and moved with a great deal of articulation, and each of them terminated in a fearsome, pincer-like hand, as if transplanted from some monstrous, mechanical lobster.
The horrible head had been fashioned from heavy-gauge steel to resemble that of the dinosaur that it roared like: the legendary Tyrannosaurus Rex. Its enormous maw operated with the assistance of great, industrial hinges, revealing rows of barbed teeth. It had angled eyes that glowed red, like furnace fires, and streaks of flame periodically spouted from its nostrils. At the back of its throat glowed a strange, yellow-white light, almost blinding in its intensity.
Everybody was stunned by the unveiling of the mechanical monster, and the explosive manner in which it had announced its presence. The Beans collectively gasped, and they took an involuntary step backward. Murphy’s eyes went wide, and he seized Nibbler’s ears with his tiny paws. Nibbler barked at the imposing machine as it lumbered closer, bellowing and snorting like an enraged dinosaur.
The thing was undoubtedly impressive… awe-inspiring, really. However, there was one enormous, critical difference between the mechanical monster and Noodles, the break-dancing robot. Apparently, it lacked the artificial intelligence that Lefty had programmed into Noodles, and it could not think for itself. For atop the machine, just behind the head of the beast, there sat a pilot: Jasper.
From there, he rode the machine, encased in a protective cab that was just big enough to contain him. It had large windows on every side, to provide him with a clear view as he operated his monster. A roll-cage, built from thick tubes of solid steel, protectively encased the cab. Jasper sat inside, cackling madly around his pipe, as he piloted his strange beast with a great number of knobs, and control sticks, and gearshifts. His broom, of course, was near at hand, crammed inside of the cab with him.
He could be heard with great clarity, for there was a large speaker mounted beside the beast’s head. There was a microphone in the cab that Jasper used to communicate, and it projected his voice through the external speaker.
“Behold, the power of the sun, unleashed and unhindered!” Jasper bellowed. “Now, tremble before our Mecha-Machine!”
“Mecha-Machine?” Lefty asked. He eyed the contraption with disappointment. “Jasper, this is a most improper use of SunTech.”
Noodles took a lanky stride forward, to stand before Lefty. He protectively held one long arm out, to defend his friends. All the while, he eyed the Mecha-Machine with his unblinking, blue eyes, staring up at it. Although Noodles stood at seven feet in height, he was only about half as tall as Jasper’s monster, and nowhere near as bulky. He looked positively tiny by comparison.
Ebenezer laughed from above, as he slowly circled in the sky. “Does that silly robot think that he’s in the same league as our Mecha-Machine? I thought you said you had programmed him with intelligence, Lefty! Why, Noodles is nothing more than a tinker toy compared to this – a true application of science!”
As if in answer to this challenge, Noodles rushed forth, to meet the Mecha-Machine. The robot was utterly fearless, but his enthusiasm was ill-placed. Though Noodles’ bravery was impressive, Ebenezer was unfortunately correct – Noodles was not in the same league as the war machine. He had, after all, been designed for the purpose of things like break-dancing, while the Mecha-Machine had been built for battle.
As Noodles sprinted close, with but a few strides from his lanky legs, the Mecha-Machine swatted him aside. The machine’s torso swiveled, and one arm came forth, slapping the robot with a monstrous, pincer-hand. Clank!
Noodles went flying at the impact, and he soared through the air. He proved to be a most improbable projectile, as he flew through the sky, waving his arms and legs like a windmill.
However, he took this turn of events with good humor, and he beeped with delight at his unexpected, aerial voyage. With a thwump, he landed high in the limbs of a weeping willow tree, where his gangly limbs quickly became tangled and ensnared.
Atop his perch, Jasper cackled with glee, and Ebenezer laughed as he circled above. Lefty took exception to their amusement at the expense of Noodles. Despite the clear danger, he took a step closer to the Mecha-Machine, looking up at its cackling pilot.
“That was not very polite at all, Jasper,” Lefty admonished. He turned to look at the weeping willow tree, and asked, “Noodles, are you okay?”
“Beep boop,” Noodles replied, from where he hung upside down. He offered a thumbs-up to assure Lefty that he was not badly hurt. But he was quite tangled up in the tree, and it didn’t look like he would be getting free any time soon.
“Oh, really? You don’t think it was polite of me, eh?” came the amplified voice of Jasper, projecting from the speaker. “And why, exactly, do you think I would care?”
The Mecha-Machine took a giant, lumbering step forward. As its foot collided with the ground, the Beans felt the earth tremble beneath them. The mechanical monster towered above, bellowing and snorting. Its eyes burned red, and fire shot from its nose. The closer it got, the more intimidating it appeared.
As Jasper laughed with delight and worked the gearshifts in his protective cab, the machine took another step forward – right on top of Lefty’s van. Metal shrieked and glass crunched, as the van was squashed into a crumpled mess that was beyond recognition.
At this, the Beans decided that they had seen quite enough, and they scrambled for safety. They ran every which way, putting space between themselves and the Mecha-Machine. Nibbler sprinted off, and Murphy held onto the galloping Labradoodle’s ears for dear life.
Lefty reacted to the destruction of his van with a sharp intake of air, and he shook his fist up at Jasper. “You’re misbehaving quite badly!”
“Did you like my little demonstration, Lefty?” Jasper asked, cackling with his amplified voice.
Perhaps it was the result of watching the destruction of his van, and all of his precious scientific equipment. Or perhaps it was the result of the Mecha-Machine towering above him, roaring loudly enough from its great, hinged mouth to make his lab coat ripple. Or perhaps it was the bright, yellow light that glowed at the back of the machine’s throat, directed into his eyes with a stunning intensity.
Whatever the cause, Lefty picked that moment to do a most inopportune thing: he fainted. His eyes rolled back in their sockets, his knees buckled, and he crumpled to the ground, lying helplessly at the feet of the Mecha-Machine.