by Bella Jewel
Then I told the girls what Indi had told me.
“And Indi actually came over and told you this?” Shania asks, frowning. “What in the hell for?”
“She is claiming she had no ill intentions, but I call bullshit,” I say, holding my glass out as Ellie refills it, “If she didn’t mean anything by it, she would have gone to Finn. She came to me, because she wanted me to know, in hopes I’d back off.”
“I didn’t think she was like that,” Ellie frowns. “She seemed like a nice girl.”
“Yeah, but I must admit, she is kind of obsessed with the Knight brothers. She was after Lincoln for a bit, when he got together with me she moved onto Finn. Seems a little weird, but she came across as quite nice so I didn’t think anything of it,” Shania tells us.
“Yeah, that is a little strange. Still, it’s pretty cruel to throw it in Erin’s face.” Lucy shakes her head, sipping her drink. “It’s not like her and Finn were together, pretty sure he made it as clear to her as he did to Erin that it was just sex.”
Those words hurt my already aching heart, but I say nothing.
“What are you going to do?” Ellie asks. “Have you spoken to Finn? Do you even think Indi is telling the truth?”
“Hmmm.” Lucy rubs her chin. “That’s a good point.”
“I haven’t spoken to him,” I tell them. “I’m not sure I should reach out, not if what she said is true. I imagine it’ll be the end for us. He hasn’t called me since we got back, anyway. I should have known better, if I’m being honest …”
“Honey, you’re not to blame here, this whole situation is complicated,” Ellie says, patting my arm.
God love her.
“As for her telling the truth,” I change the subject, “I’m not sure, she said she thought the test was positive. It’s making me wonder if she’s making it up. She said the condom broke, and she took plan B, but it didn’t work. Apparently.”
“Seems fishy to me.” Shania frowns. “The whole thing.”
“Yeah, that was my first thought,” I admit.
“Maybe she’s just trying to get him away from you?” Lucy suggests.
“I’m thinking that could be the case, yeah,” I agree, “but it’s a bit extreme. Surely she doesn’t actually think it’ll work, right?”
“Well,” Ellie says, “it might if she can get him to believe it and play along for a few months, then suddenly, she loses it or something like that. By then, you two are probably well and truly over, and she’s probably hoping it might bring them closer …”
Makes sense.
Won’t work, but makes sense.
Before I can say anything else, my phone rings. I pull the phone out quickly and stare down at the caller display. It’s Finn. Three days. It has been three days. He hasn’t called, hasn’t text, and now suddenly he’s calling. I turn the screen around toward the girls, and cry helplessly, probably a little enhanced from the alcohol, “What do I do?”
“Answer it!” Lucy says. “Give that douche a piece of your mind.”
“Do not answer it. I repeat. Do not answer it!” Shania says, shaking her head.
“He hasn’t called you for three days,” Ellie adds gently, “don’t just answer suddenly because he’s calling.”
“Bullcrap.” Lucy frowns. “You deserve answers after what his little woman did to you. I’d answer it. You deserve better.”
My mind is spinning, and the phone is in my hand, and then I’m answering it. The moment I do, I know I shouldn’t have. I should have listened to Shania and Ellie, but unfortunately I’m more like Lucy in personality, so her words rung far truer to me. Still, the moment that phone is pressed to my ear, I know I should have just let it ring out.
I could hang up, but he’d know, and I’d look even worse.
So, instead, I take a deep breath, and say, “Hey, Finn.”
“You knew.”
His voice comes out like a whip, an ugly, angry whip. It shocks me, feeling like it smashes against my chest, making everything inside me recoil away from me. “What?”
“You knew Indi was pregnant, you knew and you didn’t tell me.”
Whoa.
What?
No way.
That … that … that bitch told him I knew? How cunning. How conniving. How damned clever. She told me and then probably went on some sob path and told him I knew, which would instantly make him angry at me. Well played, Indi. Well fucking played.
“First of all, watch your tone, Finn,” I say, my voice low and serious.
“Who the fuck do you think you are? I thought we were, at the very least, friends. I thought you’d have come to me and spoken to me. I only just found out, but not after findin’ out you already knew, and have known, for at least a day.”
Indi, you bitch. You nasty little bitch.
My respect for her just flew out the window.
“This is exactly what she wants.” I laugh bitterly. “Well played, Indi.”
“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?”
“She came to me, acting all innocent, telling me knowing full well it would put me in a position. I told her it was not my business, it was yours, and she should be telling you. She didn’t even know if she was pregnant, she just thought she was. I sent her packing. And no, I didn’t call you, because why should I? It isn’t my business, it isn’t my news to share, and how dare you call me up and take it out on me. This is exactly what she wants, and I’m not going to be caught in the middle of it. I wish you well, Finn, but don’t call me again.”
I hang up the phone, and the second it hits the table, a tear rolls down my cheek.
My chest hurts.
My heart aches.
My stomach is tied up in knots.
Because Indi got what she wanted. She knew Finn would take it out on me, she’s figured out that he’s hot headed, and acts without thought. She also knew I’m equally as hot headed and wouldn’t take it, so I’d cut him off. She is smarter than she looks.
“Oh, honey,” Shania says, reaching over and grabbing my hand, “It’s okay.”
“You should have heard how he spoke to me,” I say, keeping my voice strong even though another tear slips down my cheek. “I didn’t deserve that. Damn Indi to hell for this. I actually liked her, I thought she was a nice girl, but she knew this would end like this.”
“We should speak to her,” Lucy growls, shaking her head. “How dare she do something so awful. It’s not right. Not at all.”
“Speaking to her will only make it worse, it’ll only let her know she got exactly what she wanted,” Ellie says softly, squeezing my shoulder. “No, what you’re going to do it act like nothing at all happened. Because you’re stronger than this, and you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met. Don’t let them bring you down.”
I look to Ellie, and she’s right.
I know she’s right.
Hell, we’ve endured so much together, and she always told me she wanted to be just like me, because I never gave in, I never let people mistreat me, I never stood back and took any crap.
Which is exactly why I won’t be taking this.
Finn and I will talk.
Indi and I will talk.
But right now, I’m just going to feel sorry for myself in the safe company of friends.
But tomorrow, oh tomorrow.
Bad ass Erin is back.
10
ERIN
Chin held high, I stroll into Rumblin’ Knights.
I know Indi works there.
I know she’s working today.
I also know Finn works here.
And he’s working today.
It has taken me three days, three extra days to get myself together. To get myself back to the woman I’m proud of. It wasn’t easy, my heart ached a whole lot more than I’d like over Finn Knight, but I got there, found my inner diva, and I got my shit together. Finn called, of course he called. Hell, I’m certain he stopped by. I made sure I was at work a lot, baking, doing overtime, ke
eping out of his path.
Now I’m ready to face the music.
“Girl on a mission, I like it.”
I turn around to see Damon striding toward me. Oh, Damon. The second youngest of the Knight brothers, but so easy going and happy, he almost doesn’t belong. He’s always got a smile on his face, he’s so very easy to talk to, and he’s exceptionally nice on the eyes, if I do say so myself. I mean, he has Knight blood after all.
He’s wearing a muscle shirt today, and his biceps, which are scarily bigger than I thought, are on display, tanned skin glistening in the sun. Damn. He’s hot. Maybe I’ll trade Finn for him. It’s not a bad idea, especially right about now.
“Good to see you, Damon,” I grin, using my hand to shield my eyes from the sun.
“I’m sorry you have to shield yourself, most women do in my presence, it’ll pass soon.”
I giggle and shake my head. “Why can’t the rest of your brothers be as fun as you?”
“They just don’t have it in them, you know? They all lack personality.”
I laugh again. “I’m starting to believe it. How are you?”
“Good, workin’ hard. You? How was the trip? Heard about the hurricane. Intense.”
“You could say that. The trip was nice, though.”
“You look like you’re about to go in there and kick some ass,” he says, narrowing his eyes with a grin on that handsome face.
“Am I that obvious?”
“Shit!” He claps. “So you are? Whose ass are you kicking? Can I watch?”
“Firstly, I’m not going to kick asses, literally, but I am going to deliver some pretty spectacular speeches. Watch this space.”
Damon claps, grinning huge. “I’m coming. Let’s go!”
I laugh, and we walk into the front office building. When Indi looks up from her desk and sees me, her eyes get wide. Yes, well, so they should. She’s caused enough problems for me, problems I didn’t deserve, problems that she could have dealt with herself and not included me in. All over jealousy. I’ve done some stupid shit in my time over jealousy, don’t get me wrong, but this one takes the damn cake.
“Indi, please call Finn in.”
She opens her mouth, shaking her head slightly. Damon walks to the back door, pushes it open and bellows, “Finn!”
I smile at him when he winks at me. “Thanks, Damon!”
“You’re very welcome, I’ll just sit here.”
He sits down on the waiting chairs, grinning. Bloody devil he is.
Finn walks in a moment later, all dirty, shirtless, and fuck me. Why did he have to come in here looking like that? For a split second, I can see why Indi is obsessed with him. Then I snap my head back into the moment, forgetting the ripped muscles, tanned skin, and gorgeous face now standing in front of me.
“Finn,” I say, finally looking up and holding his eyes.
He’s watching me, pinning me with that intense gaze. Damn him. He’s so fucking gorgeous.
“Erin, I’ve been tryin’ to call.”
“Yes, well, I’m sure you’ve figured out I’m not interested in answering. Sorry. I’m here to talk to the both of you, I’d appreciate if you’d just listen.”
Lincoln joins us now, looking between us all, and then he crosses his arms and just stands there. Great, he’s going to listen too. Of course he is.
“Fine, now we’ve got an audience, I guess I’ll spill the dirt. Sorry if it isn’t dirt you want spilled, but I guess you should have both thought about that before dragging me into something I wanted nothing to do with.”
Indi opens her mouth to say something but I hold up a hand, cutting her off with, “No, Indi. You don’t get to speak. You’ve done quite enough, don’t you think? You know what gets me the most about that? I was nice to you. I fucking liked you. I actually thought we were friends. But you coming over, doing what you did to me the other day, knowing full well it would cause problems between Finn and I … that’s disgusting. You don’t do that to other human beings, I don’t care what they’ve done to you, you simply don’t do it. Especially not to people who have been nothing but nice to you.”
I take a deep breath, exhaling slowly, and continue.
“If you had an issue with Finn and I, you should have taken it up with him. When I found out about him sleeping with you, did I go to you and make things harder for you? Did I take my jealousy out on you? Absolutely not. Because it wasn’t your fault. Just as it isn’t my fault. If Finn gave you the same old fucking spiel he gave me when you first started sleeping together, you’d know he said it’s just sex, you’d know he doesn’t want anything more, you’d know those things. The way you acted, absolutely disgusting. You should be utterly ashamed of yourself.”
Her mouth is firmly clamped shut now, but her eyes are glistening with unshed tears. Well, too bad. She didn’t stop once to apologize to me for making me cry, for making me feel like shit. No, she needs to take this one. She needs to own it.
“I’m a good person,” I tell her, still holding her eyes, not having once broken from them, “I didn’t deserve it. But if you think that your little plan worked, it didn’t. Finn and I were only friends, we were only sleeping together, I never expected anything else out of him. So the only person you hurt in this, Indiana, was yourself.”
That’s a lie. I did think we were more, but I’ll never tell her that. Never.
I nod, and then turn to Finn, who is staring at me with an expression that kind of pains me. It looks a little hurt, which is not what I expected when I turned to look at him. His face is still hard, the lines of his jaw tight, but his eyes are expressing his remorse, and that fucking sucks, because it makes this so hard.
“And you,” I say, my voice softer now. “I’m very clear and have been all along as to what we were, I haven’t put pressure on, demanded anything, or bothered you with it. I listened, I was kind, I was your friend. This business with Indi, it’s yours, it isn’t mine, so for you to call me up and speak to me the way you did the other day … that hurt. It hurt because I thought, above everything else, we at least had respect for one another. I thought we were friends. But you showed me that we are nothing. That you really are broken, and maybe there really isn’t anyone out there that can help you. It’s a shame, Finn, because I really thought we had something. I guess I was wrong. Good luck with everything, but please stay away from me. I have enough self-respect to walk away from this, and walk away I’m going to.”
I exhale, letting it all out, dropping my head for a second to gain my clarity back. Then I look at the guys again and put on my best smile, because I’m Erin, and nobody is going to take that away from me. Nobody. “Well, gentleman, it’s been a pleasure, but I’m off. I have a date!”
I do.
Lucy told me it was a good idea. I tended to agree with her. She said it doesn’t need to lead to anything but dating is a good way to move forward. To leave the pain behind. I think she’s right, so a friend of hers who is single agreed to go on a date with me. She assures me he’s a nice guy, hot, and not a player. That sounded good enough for me.
“That’s my girl!” Damon yells, standing and striding over, throwing his arms around me and swinging me around. I laugh, because damn, he has a way of making anyone feel better.
He places me on my feet and then gets down on one knee in front of me, holding my hand. “Erin, would you do me the absolute honor of bein’ my new best friend?”
I laugh, and nod. “Yes!”
He chuckles and stands, throwing an arm over my shoulder and looking to Finn. “Don’t know what you couldn’t see in this one, bro, but I’m tellin’ you somethin’ … you’re missin’ out. Big time.”
Lincoln looks to me, grin on his face. “Well done, sweetheart. Good speech.” Then he looks to Indi. “You and I need to talk.”
“Don’t get her into trouble, Lincoln,” I say to him. “What happened happened outside of these walls. She doesn’t deserve to have her job put at risk because of it.”
Linco
ln studies me, then shakes his head, almost in awe, then looks to Finn. “Agree with Damon, little brother. You fucked up letting this one go.”
Then he disappears, Indi in tow.
I look to Finn.
Finn looks to me.
Then I turn and walk out.
~*~*~*~
I smile politely, but inside, deep inside, I’m thinking about all the ways I’m going to kill Lucy. Her taste in men is better than this, I’m sure of it. Because the man sitting in front of me, while absolutely gorgeous, is a total dickbag. That’s not being dramatic, either. I’m guessing he probably puts on a front as a friend, because as boyfriend material, he sucks ass.
First of all, he told me, literally told me what he wanted to drink. We’d barely finished with our hellos when he said, “I’ll have a Jack and Coke, meet you at the booth,” and walked off. He walked off, after telling me what he wanted to drink. Last time I checked, men got the damn drinks on the first date.
This made me crabby, straight up.
I couldn’t even look and admire his gorgeous physique or his glimmering slate eyes. He’s attractive, very very attractive. Athletic, no tattoos, hair styled in a messy, kind of sexy way. After his little introduction, though, I find myself completely unable to admire his good looks and instead stare at him, no doubt like I want to gouge his eyeballs out.
Which he is oblivious to, by the way.
Apparently, he seems incredibly comfortable with his choice to allow a woman to buy drinks on a first date.
It makes me unbelievably nervous for dinner.
If he thinks I’m paying, he’s sadly mistaken.
I’m a woman, and I might be old fashioned, but you take a woman out, you damn well pay, otherwise you don’t take her out. End of story. When you’re in a relationship, sure, I believe in splitting it and paying sometimes, but dating, absolutely not. How rude.
After I got us drinks, we sat down at a booth and he proceeded to tell me all about himself. Didn’t ask a single question about me, and while the conversation is seemingly flowing well, considering he’s chatting away merrily, it feels absolutely awkward. I mean come on, seriously? I’m getting the vibe that this man does not want to date, need to date, or have any interest in anything outside of himself.