by Bella Jewel
Does he really think that?
Does he honestly believe Brody still loves me?
“Do you really believe that?”
Lee nods. “Yes, I do. I know my brother well enough, and the way his eyes change, even just slightly, when he looks at you, tells me he’s not telling the truth when he says he wants you to move on. But, while I’m being honest, honey, I think you should at the very least, try to move on. Just because he loves you doesn’t mean there is ever a chance it’ll work out. He’s stuck in the position he’s in, and his feelings are clearly not going to stop that. You chasing him, and begging, and breaking—it’ll push him away further.”
“You think I should give up?”
“No,” he says, “I think you should show him what the hell he’s missing. Right now, all he sees his revenge. He ran so he didn’t have to face the idea of the woman he loved most moving on with her life. He didn’t want to see that, which is why he left you all behind. But, you’re here now, and I think, I honestly think, if he sees you with someone else, it might just give him something else to focus on. Which is exactly what he needs. He needs to see something else to take his mind away from where it is, to maybe have him remember there is a life outside it.”
I’m a little confused. He doesn’t think I’ll get Brody back, but he wants him to see me with other people.
“I’m not sure I’m following. Is this a game … or?”
“Yes, and no. I want you to make sure he sees it, yes, but I also want you to do it for yourself. There are many reasons for my thinking. Mostly, it’s to remind Brody of what life was like before Mick and everything that went wrong. To remind him how much he loves you. To remind him how it might feel to see you with someone else. To remind him of everything he had. I know you’re all helping him because you know he won’t change his mind, but maybe if he sees something else, if he truly stops focusing so much on what’s happening, he might just get distracted enough to be thrown off his course. It’s, at the very least, worth a shot, right?”
“I guess, but I don’t know if I have it in me to do that. I don’t even like the thought of being near someone else. He is it for me, Lee. I don’t want anyone else.”
“Exactly, and that’s holding you and everything else back. You don’t have to fall in love with the person you date, you just have to go on a date, be friendly. Who knows, you might at least get a good friendship out of it. I think it’ll do you and Brody good.”
“He only has just over a week until his fight, Lee.”
“Then you need to start getting into it really quickly. Luckily for you, I have a friend who knows people around here. I’m sure he can hook you up with a date. It’s the weekend, what is there to lose?”
I exhale. “I don’t think this will work. I’ve got about eight days to change Brody’s mind, making him jealous doesn’t seem to be the way to do it.”
“Okay,” Lee says, holding my eyes, “what’s your plan then? What are you going to do in that time, to change his mind, when he refuses to even see you?”
That feels like a slap to the face, but I know what he’s doing. I know he’s trying to get me to see that his plan is the better option. But the idea of dating someone else, even for one night, makes my chest clench with unease. I just want to stop Brody, but I know as well as Lee does that Brody isn’t going to even talk to me. He’s going to avoid me at all costs. I know he will.
I’m not going to have my chance to change his mind, because he won’t let me near him.
This, this might just give me that time with him. If Lee is right, and he does love me, it might be the only option.
“You know I’m right,” Lee says gently.
“Yeah,” I exhale, “I know you’re right.”
“It’ll be okay, trust me, okay?”
I hold his eyes.
Do I trust him? Of course.
Do I think this is going to work?
I don’t know.
I honestly don’t know.
15
THEN – MELANIE
“Where have you been?” I cry out when Brody walks through the door to Jack and Nancy’s home with Mick in tow.
We were just discussing all the ways we could get in contact with him, and he strolls through like he hasn’t just been missing for three days. His eyes swing to me after I’ve launched out of my chair, anger and rage making my body shake, and demanded to know where he’s been.
I know I sound like a brat right now, but I was terrified, utterly terrified. I don’t think he has any idea what he just put us all through. No phone call. Nothing. He just abandoned us and made us think the worst, and now he strolls in here like there is nothing wrong.
“Sit down, Melanie,” he tells me, his voice hard.
I stare at him, confused.
The way he’s talking to me, it’s withdrawn, closed off. He isn’t looking at me like he cares at all, he’s acting like he doesn’t, in fact.
“What?” I whisper, hurt by his words.
He studies me, then exhales and walks over, putting his hands on my shoulders, “I know you’re scared, I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry, but you have to sit down and listen. I’ll talk alone with you after. Don’t need my ass being torn out in front of everyone.”
“You disappeared for three days,” I say, my voice angry again.
“Yeah, and you can chew me out for it after I talk to you all. Yeah?”
I sit down, because he’s not really giving me any other choice. I have to sit down, because he’s already walked off to where Jack, Ripley, and Blade are all sitting at the table. Mick glances at me as he walks by, and the urge to yell at him almost takes over. He’s taking Brody down with him, little by little, and soon there will be nothing left, of either of them.
I glance at Brody when he takes a seat at the table beside Mick and looks to his dad. “Sorry, I know you were all worried.”
“Son, without losin’ my shit here, you can’t just fuckin’ leave without notice, a call, nothin’. Melanie was out of her mind. You don’t do that to the woman you love.”
I look down at my hands, but I can feel Brody staring at me.
He knows damn well you don’t do that to the woman you love, but he did it anyway.
“I know, but Mick was in danger. Which is why we’re here.”
“We already know,” Blade mutters. “Heard about your little flee from the fight, and now you’ve got the big guns after you. What the fuck do you think we’re goin’ to do about it, Brody?”
The two brothers glare at one another, but Brody breaks that glare and speaks, “We’re hopin’ to stay here. I’ve got contacts, goin’ to make some calls and see if we can get this sorted out without bloodshed.”
Bloodshed?
Is he serious right now?
“It’s a fucking death match,” Lee snaps. “You think they’re just going to let you walk away after you just cost them that much money?”
Mick glares at Lee, which just makes me angrier. He has no right. He’s the one who got himself into this mess, not the other way around.
“This ain’t goin’ to go away on its own, I gotta do something, or Mick dies.”
“Mick got himself into this,” I mutter.
Brody swings his head my way, and says, “Pardon?”
I can’t contain it any longer. I can’t. I’m so sick of this. Mick is going to get himself and everyone around him killed if he doesn’t stop what he’s doing now. He can stop, I know it’s hard, but we’ve offered help, we’ve offered jobs, we’ve done everything we can to make things easier for him and he refuses. I stand up, anger bubbling forth and overflowing, slamming my hands onto the table.
“I said Mick got himself into this mess, Brody. He’s choosing to do this stuff. I am so damned sick of it. You’re going to lose something very valuable, possibly your life, if you keep on this path, and he doesn’t give a crap. He wants you to suffer because he thinks you owe him, but you don’t.”
I spin to Mick. “He doesn’
t. He doesn’t owe you fucking anything. He was going through hell. So he didn’t go over with you, that doesn’t mean he is responsible for the shit you went through. He’s been a good friend to you, Mick. He’s tried. I’ve tried. You could get help, you refuse. You could get a job, you refuse. Now you’re going to destroy my family, because you’re not willing to fix your life. No. I won’t fucking let you.”
“Melanie, that’s enough,” Brody says, standing, his eyes hard.
“No. Fuck you, Brody. I’m done. It’s him, or it’s me. I see you’ve made your choice. I’m finished with this shit. It’s over. Go ahead, enjoy your time pulling him out of trouble, but I’m not part of it anymore.”
I spin on my heel and walk out of the house, slamming the door.
I meant it, I meant it with everything I am.
Brody and I, we’re over.
For good.
~*~*~*~
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” Aria says, sitting beside me on her sofa.
I’ve just come over and told her everything that happened today. Brody didn’t call me, or come after me, I think that honestly hurt more than the fact that we ended. He still cares more about Mick than he does me. I hate that it has come to this, I’ve tried to understand, but you can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.
Brody just hasn’t figured that out yet.
Instead he’s opted to lose everything that matters to him.
“He didn’t even try to stop me,” I whisper, not crying, holding it in because I’m sick of crying. “He just let me leave. That’s how much he cares.”
“Hang on a second.”
Aria stands and goes to her fridge, pulling out two beers. She comes back and hands me one, then says, “He does care, I know that for a fact. That man is head over heels for you. He’s just tangled up in some crappy shit.”
“I’m not so sure. He didn’t call.”
“Right now he’s trying to stop Mick from losing his life. They’re in danger. His focus is there. But I promise you, when he finds a way to keep Mick safe, he’ll be here, and he’ll be heartbroken.”
“It doesn’t matter, my mind is made up.”
“Is this really what you want? You two are the best couple. You’re having a shitty time right now, but think of the years before this, how much love and happiness you two had between you. Is it worth throwing it all away for Mick?”
“He’s the one throwing it away. I can’t deal anymore, Ari. He’s putting us in danger. He’s putting Mick first. He’s risking his life, for crying out loud. I can’t be in that position anymore.”
Aria nods. “I respect that. I’m on your side. I think this is going to bring him back to reality. He needs to push Mick in the right direction, not keep bailing him out of the hard times. He won’t learn like that. He’s not going to move forward and get the help he needs if he doesn’t have to face up to what he’s doing.”
“Yeah, I know that, you know that, but Brody doesn’t seem to know that. He’s living in this world that is solely based around protecting Mick, but he’s doing more harm than good.”
Aria reaches over, squeezing my hand. “Give it time. Brody loves you. Let this sink in.”
I stare down at my hands, the cold beer resting in them. “It hurts like hell. He’s the love of my life. But I can’t be put last anymore.”
“I understand that, honey,” Aria agrees. “You shouldn’t have to be.”
Blade and Lee come through the front door before I can answer. They both look at me and smile, which makes me feel a little better. They care. I feel for them, being stuck between Brody and me.
“How’re you doin’?” Blade asks me, before going over and kissing Aria, long and deep.
“I’m okay,” I say, when he’s done. “How’s Brody?”
“Fucked,” Lee says. “You really threw him.”
“Funny that he never tried to stop me,” I mutter.
“No, but he sat in dead silence for the next hour. He was in shock. Then he lost his shit at Mick, and at us, so we left. They’re staying at Dad’s, still trying to come up with a plan.”
He got upset?
He did care?
If that’s the case, why hasn’t he called me?
Probably because he’s still choosing to help Mick.
“Mick is dangerous for him,” I say softly. “He’s going to get Brody hurt, or worse …”
“Yeah, we all know that. Hell, I think Brody knows that. But I don’t think it’ll be enough to stop him from helping Mick.”
No, they’re right.
It won’t be enough to stop him from helping Mick, which leaves us all at a dead end. We have to be on board with helping Brody get Mick out of this, or we have to walk away and accept there is nothing we can do.
I’m scared.
I’m hurt.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
Blade comes over and squeezes my shoulder. “Give him time, darlin’. He’ll come ‘round. It might take a bit, but he knows what’s good for him. Brody might be loyal, but he ain’t stupid. He’ll work this out with you, right now I think he’s tryin’ to figure out how he can help Mick this last time, and get you back on his side.”
“I can’t keep going on like this, though. You have to understand that.”
Blade nods. “Respect that. Know he loves you. Hopefully that’ll pull him through.”
Yeah.
Hopefully.
I guess we’ll find out.
16
NOW – MELANIE
I stare at the ring where Brody is currently fighting. His fists are swinging, his biceps are flexing, and he’s panting and grunting with every hit. Lincoln got in the best fighter he knows, trying to get Brody ready for whatever stupid match he’s insistent on going into. He’s not backing down from this fight, the way he moves, the way his eyes are focused on his target, it’s almost mesmerizing.
Like you could get lost just watching him.
He doesn’t know I’m here, of course. Currently, he probably doesn’t care. He’s got one goal, and that is this fight. Anything else, namely me, means little to him right now. That hurts, but it has me pondering what Ripley said about taking the focus away from him. Maybe he’s right, not just for Brody’s sake, but mostly mine. After all, I’ve spent months focused on him and only him.
I haven’t thought about me.
Not for one single moment.
In doing that, I’ve lost myself. I’ve lost my edge, my spark, the very thing Brody fell in love with. Now I’m a broken shell, my eyes are dark, my hair is a mess, and I know I look like crap. I’ve stopped caring about myself, and I think maybe I need to focus a little bit on doing that. I’m not going to stop Brody from fighting, at least, I don’t think I can, but I’m going to be there with him every step of the way.
Trying to take his focus from Mick and his revenge might just get him to see what he’s doing is dangerous, hell, it might even get him to consider another way. Until that time, at least I know Lincoln is going to have him trained, no matter what.
Now I need to worry about me and what’s good for my health.
Right?
It feels wrong, but I know I need to do it.
“How’s it going?” Finn asks, coming up beside me and staring down at Brody who is effortlessly taking the other man down. “He’s an exceptional fighter, Mel. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“When you’re as broken as he is, you no longer care. When you no longer care, you have nothing to lose. When you have nothing to lose, you’re going to give it your all.”
Finn looks to me. “He has plenty to lose.”
“He doesn’t see it that way.”
Finn’s eyes fill with sympathy, which I hate, but I understand. He feels bad for me, and why wouldn’t he? My boyfriend, the love of my life, is down there fighting to prepare for a match that could ultimately end his life. Who wouldn’t feel sorry for me. Right?
“You’d be surprised, I think. I don’t
think any of us truly understand what’s going on in Brody’s head right now. All I know, is he’s focused, so focused he’s forgotten the world around him. Those walls will come down, when, who knows, but they will. When they do, he’ll be in a bad way. Keep doing what you’re doing, don’t give up on him.”
I never planned on giving up on him, not for a single second, I’m just finally putting myself in the picture, too.
What good am I to Brody if I can barely hold it together myself?
He needs to remember exactly who he fell in love with.
It’ll be my job to remind him.
“Never,” I whisper to Finn, watching as Brody takes down his opponent, with little to no effort.
“He could win this,” Finn tells me.
“Yeah, I know he could.”
“Maybe then your demons will finally go away.”
“Yeah,” I say, watching as Brody walks out of the ring. “Maybe.”
A few moments later the door to the room we’re in opens, and Brody walks in followed by Lincoln and Slater.
Ripley, Finn, Damon, and I are already here, waiting.
Brody doesn’t know I’m here.
The moment, the very moment those gorgeous dark brown eyes hit me, he mutters, “What is she doing here?”
She.
She.
Not Melanie.
Not the girl who I was madly in love with.
She.
It hurts. Hurts like hell. But I swore I’d at least try to change something, so I’m not going to say anything about it.
“You can fuss all you want,” I say, crossing my arms, “but I’m here for every single step.”
Brody looks to Lincoln. “I’m not okay with this, she leaves.”
“No,” Lincoln says, “no, she doesn’t. You can’t get into that fight with me, Brody, you know it, I know it, and she knows it. The rules are that she gets to be here, and I’m goin’ to let her have that, considerin’ you’ve taken everything else from her. Don’t like it, you can leave and try to find another way in.”