Archibald Lox and the Vote of Alignment

by Darren Shan

  “There aren’t words to thank you for what you’ve done,” Princess Ghita says.

  “No need for thanks,” Inez replies. “I’m a camel. I was just doing my job.”

  “I won’t forget your part in it either,” the princess says to me, with a smile that makes me blush again. She’s dressed in ordinary clothes – jeans, with a flowery shirt – but she’s as pretty as any picture-book princess.

  I want to say something fitting like Inez did, but again all I can manage is a weak and pointless, “Um.”

  “This guy was really the best you could find?” the princess says to Inez, and I think she’s only half-joking. Before I have a chance to take offence, she heads for the exit, calling to the other royals as she goes. “I’m off to stretch my legs and grab a bite to eat. I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

  With that, she’s gone, and in one head-spinning second I realise what that means. Our mission is over. The vote of alignment has been settled. Sapphire will continue to be a realm of the Merged.

  We’ve won!

  EIGHT — THE CELEBRATIONS

  35

  THE GUARDS AND DIGNITARIES in the throne room quickly recover from their shock. The Merged start to celebrate, hugging one another and cheering. The SubMerged, on the other hand, are seething. Some storm from the room in a huff, while others argue among themselves, trying to find a way to have the result of the vote annulled.

  Inez and I grin at one another. There are tears in her eyes, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there are some in mine too, but they’re happy, triumphant tears.

  She shakes her head and says, “Sorry I didn’t tell you about the lock, but I was afraid you’d worry, and that might have thrown you.”

  “You’re probably right,” I laugh. Then I stare at the spot on her chest where the lock was, hidden now beneath her shirt. “Where was she hiding? How does it work?”

  “It’s like an overlap,” Inez says, “except it’s an innerlap. I have various storage areas inside me. I can open and close them myself, but when Ghita asked me to smuggle her across realms, I had to seal her in a place where her enemies couldn’t reach her if they captured me.

  “She got wind of a plot to kill her,” Inez continues. “She came to me for help and we went to a locksmith called Zoe who devised a lock that would keep Ghita hidden safe within me. Zoe was supposed to meet me in Cornan, where we’d hook up with three co-conspirators who’d been briefed on the plan before Ghita departed the city, but Zoe was captured and tortured by Orlan and Argate. They found out about me and the others through her.”

  She shoots a dark look at the assassins, who’ve gathered around Dukes Edward and Noah for a swift discussion. A cloud crosses Inez’s face as she recalls her fallen allies and I leave her to brood. I look round the room, smiling as I study the victorious Merged and downbeat SubMerged.

  Havel comes through the doors and links up with Dragoslav. They start towards Inez and me, but I shake my head and mouth the word, “Later.”

  Moments after that, someone else approaches — Kurtis. His presence is unwelcome but I tug Inez’s sleeve and point towards the scowling duke-to-be.

  “Well,” he says icily, fingers flexing, “that was a turn-up for the books.”

  “Kurtis...” Inez says, then stops, not sure how to continue.

  “It was a scam all along, wasn’t it?” he asks sourly. “You were using me to sneak you into the palace.”

  Inez gulps but doesn’t deny the accusation.

  “And you,” Kurtis snarls, turning his sights on me. “You played the lovesick fool most artfully.”

  “You what?” I blink.

  “I thought you were jealous,” he says, “that you cared about her the way I did.”

  “Wait a minute,” I say quickly, but he raises his voice to speak over me.

  “It was all a game,” he shouts. “You worked me like a puppet. You might have succeeded too, if Mary – Inez – hadn’t run foul of the unraveller. I’d have been a traitor. My uncle would have killed me.”

  “Kurtis...” Inez says again, and I see that she feels ashamed and wants to find the words to make it right, but they don’t exist, because she did use him and he would have paid the ultimate penalty if her plan had worked.

  “You know the worst thing?” Kurtis says, his voice dropping as quickly as it rose. “I honestly cared about you. I was glad you got away from Orlan and Argate. I hoped you’d fled and that we’d find each other later.”

  Kurtis stares at Inez sadly. She reaches out comfortingly but the gesture infuriates him and he bares his teeth like a dog.

  “Know this, Inez Matryoshka,” he growls. “I don’t begrudge you your win today – my uncle reared me to respect the achievements of our enemies – but you and your stooge hurt me, so I’ll be looking out for you down the road. Watch your backs, because I’ve two long knives I can’t wait to bury in them.”

  “You can’t threaten us,” I huff, squaring up to him.

  “You reckon?” he says, fingers bunching into fists. For a moment I think he’s going to take a swing, and I ready myself to fight, even though I’m sure I’m no match for him, but then he relaxes. “Next time,” he sniffs and brushes past.

  As Inez stares after the departing Kurtis with dismay, the duke-elect’s uncle stops in front of us. The broad, red-haired duke runs a quick, cold eye over Inez, then a slow, penetrating eye over me.

  “The mysterious locksmith,” he says softly. “Where did you come from, boy, and how come no one ever heard of you before all this?”

  I gulp. “I’m from here and there,” I say shakily. “Around and about.”

  The duke sneers, starts to say something, then changes his mind and nods politely, before slipping away after his nephew. Even though he didn’t make any threats, I’m sure that Kurtis isn’t the only one we’ll have to watch out for.

  Inez looks as if she’s about to cry. To distract her, I ask why Kurtis pronounced her surname so oddly.

  “Hmm?” she responds absently.

  “He said Matryoshka in a weird way.”

  “Oh. Like many camels, I started using that name when the dolls became popular.”

  “Dolls?” I echo.

  “A matryoshka is a Russian doll,” she explains. “You know, where you open it up and there’s a smaller doll inside, then a smaller doll inside that one, and...”

  “Yes,” I nod. “If I’d known what it meant, maybe I’d have been able to work out that you were carrying the princess inside yourself.”

  “You’d have worked that out anyway if you were Merged,” Inez says. “Everyone here knows about camels and our innerlaps. They aren’t simpletons like you.” She laughs and punches my arm.

  “Ow!”

  “Don’t be a baby,” she says. “Let’s go.”

  “Don’t you want to mingle? People would probably like to thank you.”

  “All the more reason to get out of here.”

  She starts for the doors, then catches sight of Queen Pitina, who’s talking with Duke Edward. He’s doing his best to mend broken bridges, smiling lavishly as if nothing untoward has taken place.

  “Wait here,” Inez says. “I need to pass on a message.”

  I let her off and watch carefully as she asks for a word in private. The duke seems put out, but the queen agrees, and they move to a quieter area of the room.

  As I’m studying Inez and Queen Pitina, someone claps my back and says, “That was a well-timed entrance.”

  I look up to find King Hugo standing next to me. He’s still grinning. Before I can think of something suitable to say, he sticks his motorcycle helmet on my head and drums on it swiftly with his hands.

  “Hey!” I half shout, half laugh.

  “I’m psyched,” he says, removing the helmet. “I thought all was lost, that the realm must yield to the SubMerged. I wouldn’t have come back if it had. I’d have stayed in the Born and gone biking across the Great Steppes of Asia.”

  “You’re a real bike
r?” I ask.

  “Real as a seal,” he chuckles, then looks for Inez and spots her talking with the queen. “I wanted to tell your friend how grateful I am, but she’s busy.”

  “She won’t be long,” I tell him.

  “Doesn’t matter,” he says, tapping the top of his helmet. “I’ve been here for months, searching for Ghita, then getting ready for the vote. I should stay and see off our guests, but I’m hungering for the feel of the road beneath my wheels. Not even the lure of the celebrations can tempt me to stay.”

  “Celebrations?” I ask.

  “Cornan will be party central tonight. The Sapphirites have gazed into the abyss. They’ll throw the mother of all parties now that they’ve steered clear.” He claps my back again, pulls on his helmet, then slips away to find a borehole back to the Born.

  I stare after the departing king, marvelling at how different everything is in the Merge. I can’t imagine having a chat like that with one of the royals in Buckingham Palace!

  Dragoslav and Havel reappear as King Hugo is leaving. The grey-haired guard squeezes my shoulder warmly. “You did well,” he says softly.

  “With our help,” Havel winks, then nudges his commander in the ribs. “I knew from the start how important they were.”

  “Of course you did,” Dragoslav says drily.

  “You’d have chopped off their heads if I hadn’t stopped you,” Havel says.

  “That’s not how I remember it,” Dragoslav frowns.

  “Tough,” Havel laughs, “because that’s the way I’m going to tell it to everyone.”

  The guards chuckle, then Dragoslav clears his throat. “We have to return to our posts. Will you tell Inez we’re thankful we didn’t execute you?”

  “She’ll be glad to hear it,” I mutter.

  “Wait a minute,” Havel says. “I want to find out how they got into that room.”

  Dragoslav shakes his head. “That’s their business.”

  “But if they could sneak in, others could too,” Havel presses.

  “Maybe,” Dragoslav says, “but this isn’t a day for interrogations. Besides, those sorts of worries are for those of us with four stripes or more.”

  “Well, if you promoted me...” Havel grumbles, and the pair drift away.

  I smile as I consider the way the world can change so swiftly. A short while ago those men were a heartbeat away from chopping off my head. Now it’s like we’ve been friends for years.

  I spot Inez crossing the room. Behind her, Queen Pitina is pale. Duke Edward hurries towards her, but she waves him away, then leans against a wall and covers her face with her hands.

  “What’s going on?” I whisper to Inez as she rejoins me.

  “I delivered sad news,” Inez says. “Remember Preston, the steer in Diamond?”

  “Of course.”

  “And the message he asked me to pass on?” When I look blank, she reminds me. “There was a woman he loved before he became a steer. He wanted me to find her and tell her that he was in Diamond and would perish when the realm fell.”

  My eyes widen. “Preston and Queen Pitina?”

  Inez sighs. “They were together a long time, but when she started following the ways of the SubMerged, Preston couldn’t accept it. He left to train as a steer and they haven’t seen each other since, but he still loves her.”

  “And she...” I murmur, staring at the weeping queen.

  “Some people say that the SubMerged are heartless,” Inez says softly, “but don’t believe it. Some are true monsters, but most, deep down, despite all our other differences, are just like you and me.”

  Inez spares the sobbing queen one last look, then turns towards the doors. “Come on. Let’s catch up with the thesps. Baba Jen will be dying to find out what we’ve been up to.”

  “It’s early,” I note. “She’ll still be sleeping.”

  “Probably,” Inez laughs, “but she won’t mind being disturbed for this news.”

  “Are you sure?” I ask uneasily.

  “Absolutely,” Inez says, “but I’ll let you wake her, just to be safe.”

  We share a laugh, then set off, taking the stairs, not risking our lives on the secret cliff. We’ve run enough risks for one day. Hell, we’ve run enough for a lifetime.

  36

  THE CELEBRATIONS KICK off while we’re making our way back to Lot 173T. Just about everyone in the city seems to be piling into the streets, setting up tables and stands, dancing, hugging, cheering, feasting.

  I spot a couple of familiar figures in one square — the giant and the moon-faced man who directed us to our lot when we first arrived in Cornan. The giant is jumping up and down, making the ground vibrate. Every time he lands, the people around him fly a metre into the air. Most are laughing and hooting with pleasure, but some are crying with relief too.

  The moon-faced man is one of those, and the tears gather in the pockmarks in his cheeks when he’s motionless, then shoot off of him in little fountains every time he’s thrown upwards. It’s strangely touching, and we stop for a minute to watch and think about all that we’ve come through.

  People are singing in lots of places, making up songs about Princess Ghita and how she braved all manner of perils to make it to the vote.

  “No mention of us in the songs,” I note as we turn a corner out of earshot of a large-lunged bard.

  “Do you really want them singing about Archie the ghost?” Inez replies.

  “Hey, that was something the queen said in the heat of the moment,” I exclaim. “I’m sure she’d apologise if I reminded her of it.”

  “Do you want to go back?” Inez asks.

  I pull a face. “No.” Then I look at her. “Don’t you think it’s unfair?”

  She frowns. “What?”

  “The princess didn’t do much. Once she’d come to you for help, it was all you and me. Mostly you,” I say quickly, in case she thinks I’m trying to steal her thunder. “You crossed realms, found a locksmith, crawled through the vines and scaled the cliff that nobody seems to know about, but she’s the one they hail.”

  “That’s the way it should be,” Inez says. “History would be a mess if we tried to note the names of everyone involved in the momentous battles. We need figureheads to take the praise or blame.”

  “What about the rest of us?” I ask. “Don’t we merit a mention?”

  “No,” she says, “and be glad it’s that way. Would you want to be in the princess’ position, held accountable for the fates of millions of people?”

  “I suppose not,” I murmur. “It’s just, we went through all that, sneaked her in, saved the realm, then... nothing.”

  “You’re wrong,” Inez says. “We get to go back to our regular lives. That’s a prize beyond any other. I can be a normal Camel and you can go home to your family.”

  “I guess,” I sigh.

  “Mixed feelings?” she asks.

  I shrug. “It’ll be great to see George and Rachel again, even though I’ve no idea how I’m going to explain where I’ve been all this time. I hope things will be different between us in the future. I’m going to talk about Dave, tell them how much I miss him, try to get them to open up and discuss him, so we can all start to get over his loss.”

  “Sounds good,” Inez says. “So why the big sigh?”

  “I’ll miss the excitement,” I admit with a rueful chuckle. “I’m not forgetting the scary bits, but it was an amazing adventure, wasn’t it?”

  “I’d score it a six out of ten,” Inez says nonchalantly, then laughs and punches my arm, and we stroll back to the lot side by side, grinning all the way.

  37

  WORD HAS FLOWN AHEAD of us and most of the thesps are out celebrating when we get back, but Maiko and Jola are sitting on the stage. Maiko hugs us, then points to a couple of free chairs. “I guessed you wouldn’t linger in the palace,” she smiles at Inez. “You never were one for pomp and ceremony.”

  “I’d have stayed there until they kicked me out,” Jola laughs.
“I can think of no better way to spend a day than swanning round a palace.”

  We fill them in on the highlights of our trek to the Cuckoo’s Nest. Inez doesn’t mention the cliff – she makes it sound as if we carried on through the vines – so I don’t either. When we’ve brought them up to date, they tell us how the SubMerged swept in after the grop match and held all the thesps on the lot for interrogation.

  “Was it hard?” Inez asks.

  “Difficult,” Maiko says seriously. “They put a few of us through the wringer – Dermot especially – but Baba Jen was a big help. Some of them knew and trusted her, and she convinced them that we were ignorant of your mission.”

  Jola laughs. “Our captors melted away once news of the vote seeped through. As soon as they were gone, Oleg started boasting that he was aware of your plan all along, and played a key role in it.”

  “We couldn’t have pulled it off without him,” Inez chuckles, then whispers to me, “Not a word about Baba Jen. Maiko, Dermot and Oleg know about her, but none of the others.”

  I nod to show I understand – the little actress might be called upon again one day, so it’s best if nothing is said about her that might trickle back to the SubMerged – then brace myself to talk about something that we’ve avoided mentioning so far.

  “Cal saved us at the grop match,” I note sadly. “Any idea what happened after we fled?”

  “They brought him back here,” Maiko says.

  “That was nice,” I sigh. “Did you bury him?”

  Maiko frowns. “What are you talking about? Nobody gets buried in the Merge. Our bodies decompose swiftly when we die.”

  “Oh, that’s right, but...” I stumble to a confused halt. “In that case, what did they bring back, a pile of ash?”

  Maiko stares at me blankly, then hoots. “You think he’s dead!”

  Inez and I share a startled look.