Darkness

by Laurann Dohner

  He still said nothing. He couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

  “You asked if I was on birth control.” Her features went lax and she paled a little.

  The quietness of the room became uncomfortable. Kat took the towel and got off the bed. He noticed red marks on her ass cheek when she turned, wrapping it around her. He’d done that in the shower. She might end up with a bruise. It was just another thing for him to regret.

  Kat faced him once the towel was firmly wrapped around her middle, tucked tightly to keep it in place between her breasts. She cautiously approached him and just stared up at his face. He didn’t move.

  “Everyone will hear that we’re sharing your place.” Her voice softened in tone. “They probably heard us having sex too. We got kind of loud. The secret is out.” He hated when tears filled her eyes. She blinked them back though. “You asshole.”

  That surprised him. She raised her hand and slapped him on his upper arm. He glanced at where she’d struck him then back at her. It had hurt but not enough to do damage.

  “The condoms weren’t because you were worried that someone would smell you on me. You can get me pregnant. You should have told me. I’m not a moron. I can add up the clues.” Her chin jutted out. “Deny it. Go ahead.”

  He clenched his teeth tighter.

  She backed up and almost tripped. He moved, catching her arm to help steady her. She tore out of his hold and more tears welled. She blinked those back too. “I could have taken precautions. You and your damn secrets.”

  “Humans can’t find out, Kat.”

  She spun away and wrapped her arms around her waist.

  “It would put our young in danger. They could try to kidnap them and sell them. Mercile tried to breed us for a reason but failed. It helps keep some of the worst of the fanatics from coming after us when they think this generation will eventually die out.”

  The silence stretched again. He wished he knew what she was thinking. He calmed. “I will take you to Medical in the morning. There’s a pill you can take to make sure you don’t get pregnant. I lost control.”

  She refused to look at him. Her body quaked but he wasn’t sure if it was from a chill or emotional since he couldn’t see her face. She sucked in a breath and turned.

  The anger wasn’t a surprise when she glared at him. “There are children at Homeland?”

  He said nothing. He couldn’t tell her.

  “Are there?”

  “It’s dangerous information.”

  Pain flashed across her face. “What? You think I’m going to tell the press? What part of ‘I’d never hurt the NSO’ do you not understand? Do you think so little of me that you honestly believe I’d put kids at risk? Jesus! Then to add insult to injury, you casually mention the morning-after pill? You really are a bastard.”

  He probably deserved that. He just didn’t know how to respond.

  Her hand opened over her stomach. “Don’t worry. I’m a smart woman. I catch on fast. If your little slip in control has consequences, they won’t be yours. You don’t want to let anyone in. What’s protocol?”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “What do you do if I’m pregnant?” She paled. “They can’t force me to abort, can they?” She backed up, inching closer to the side of the bed to put space between them.

  “No.” He hated seeing raw fear in her expression.

  She didn’t relax by much. “I can’t leave though, right? No.” She answered her own question. “That’s how you’ve kept a lid on it. You’d have to keep them all here or at Reservation. Hidden away so no one knows they exist.”

  Darkness frowned, not liking just how accurate her musings were.

  Kat paced, hugging her waist. “Reservation. It’s too risky to have them here. I was allowed in. That’s why everyone needs an escort. No accidental run-ins with kids. Smart.” She ignored him, seemingly lost in the thoughts she spoke aloud. “Shit.” She stopped and stared at him with a horrified look. “Assholes like Darwin Havings would do anything to get their sick hands on infant New Species. They’d be able to raise them and twist their minds. He and men like him would do what was done to you and your brothers by making them kill.”

  Darkness nodded.

  Tears filled her eyes again. “I get it.”

  He stood still while she approached him. He almost expected her to slap him again but she surprised him when she pressed her forehead against his chest. She just stood there. He had the urge to put his arm around her, only hesitating for a moment before following his instincts and doing it. She didn’t flinch away.

  “What’s protocol?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What do you do when you think you might have accidentally gotten someone pregnant or there’s a chance of it?”

  “I haven’t had it happen before. We should go to Medical and get you tested, Kat.”

  “Right. Pregnancy test. They should be able to tell in a few weeks. I guess I’m not making it back to work on Monday.” She laughed but it sounded harsh, bristly. “I might need that NSO job after all.”

  “Kat.” He wasn’t sure what else to say.

  She lifted her head away from him but didn’t look up. “I’m tired. I didn’t get enough sleep last night and only about two hours tonight.” She walked around him and entered his bathroom.

  He tracked her with his gaze. She dried her hair then put her nightshirt back on. The panties stayed on the floor since they were wet. She turned and finally looked at him. “Do you have a spare toothbrush?”

  “You can use mine.”

  She snorted. “Great. Now you’re willing to share something personal. Forget it. Deal with bad breath until you can get me a new one.” She exited the bathroom and crossed his bedroom, studying the bed. “We got the top blanket wet. Do you have a spare?”

  “Yes. I’ll get it,” he offered.

  “Why don’t you go tend to your knuckles? They haven’t stopped bleeding. I’ll deal with this. Just tell me where it is. You still want the side by the door? I assume you do it for safety reasons.”

  “Top shelf in the closet on the right side. Kat?”

  She paused. “Everything will seem better in the morning. That’s a motto I really want to believe in right now. Just…let’s not talk any more tonight.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Kat still reeled from the night before. Darkness returned to his apartment with a few bags in hand. He closed and locked the door behind him. “I got you a few things.”

  “A toothbrush?”

  “That and a few other things.”

  “Thanks.”

  He entered the kitchen and used the counter to remove the contents. “I’ll make you food.”

  “I already had toast. Your bread is about to expire.”

  “That isn’t a good breakfast. I know how to make omelets. I picked up eggs and ham and cheese for them. Give me ten minutes.”

  “No thanks.”

  His focus fixed on her. “You’re still angry.”

  “I’m tired of playing verbal games with you. I’m not going to eat anything you fix me.”

  “Why? I’m a good cook.”

  She pointedly stared at the bags. “You didn’t happen to stop by your medical center and pick up any pills to put in my food without me knowing, did you?” She watched his face for a reaction.

  His mouth drew into a fierce line. “You think I’d do that?”

  “I have no idea what you’re capable of. I was thinking while you were gone. I want to be taken to guest housing. I’m voiding the terms I demanded. I don’t want to live with you anymore. I have no idea how I feel right now but I’ll be damned if you make a decision for me, Mr. Control.”

  He moved fast, dropped to his knees in front of her and leaned in. He growled. “I would never do that. It’s your choice if you want the pill.”

  She’d thought of nothing else since waking. Darkness had slept with her but stayed on his side. She’d hugged the edge on hers, not wanting to touch him.
It hadn’t been a good way to spend their first night as roommates. The concept of having a baby was scary but she didn’t hate it. The circumstances couldn’t get much worse. His eyes were almost black and he looked angry. It wasn’t anything new. “What if I am and want to have it? Are you going to make my life miserable?”

  He paled. “Your life is in the out world. You’d abandon your child here?”

  He might as well have spit on her. “Fuck you. No.” A new suspicion hit. “Other women have done that?”

  “No.”

  It made her feel slightly better but then the insult hit. “Just shut up now. I remember what you keep in your nightstand drawer. Don’t make me shoot you.”

  He jerked back.

  “You really think so little of me? That I’d go through a pregnancy and dump a baby with you? I want to be taken to guest housing now.”

  “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I just can’t see you being happy here. You said your career was the most important thing to you.”

  “It was. Then I blew it to hell because I thought you were special. My mistake. Lesson learned. Robert Mason is going to make certain of that, right before his ass is booted out too, when all the details come out of what he sent me here to do. Hear that sound? It was my career flushing down the toilet.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your problem. I did this. I know where the blame lies.”

  He rested on his heels. “What can I do?”

  “Take me to guest housing right after I borrow something to wear and brush my teeth.” She stood, making sure she didn’t bump into him. “Who do I talk to about getting hired?” She paused by the bedroom door and studied him. “Can you help me get a job here?”

  “Yes.”

  “That would be great.” She bit her lip. “Do I have to go to Reservation if I am pregnant?”

  He shook his head. “There are young here.”

  She walked into the bedroom and paused, not sure what to do. Her life had turned messy. That reminded her of Missy. How was she going to explain why she couldn’t ever come home? To lie outright would be necessary but it would break her heart. They were like sisters. Their house was half her responsibility. How would Missy make the payments? She couldn’t do it without her. It would go into foreclosure. Her best friend would hate her and be homeless. Her knees weakened. She walked to the bed and sat.

  “Cart before the horse,” she muttered.

  The chance of her being pregnant was small. What are the odds? She’d always had protected sex when she was dating someone and considering getting involved with them. She’d jumped into it with Darkness because he’d been that hot. It was also common knowledge that New Species didn’t carry diseases and weren’t able to have kids. That proved her theory that nothing was set in stone.

  “Kat?” Darkness hovered in the doorway. “Are you well?”

  “No. Just give me a few minutes.”

  He didn’t leave but instead crossed the room. “Talk to me. I hate seeing you this way.”

  “I hate being this way,” she admitted.

  “What can I do? Just tell me. I’ll do it.”

  She should have asked him to leave but instead she slid off the bed and he gasped when she threw herself at him. He wrapped his arms around her then moved them to the bed. He sat and she climbed on his lap.

  “Just hold me and don’t talk.”

  He rested his jaw on top of her head. She stayed there. His arms tightened and he adjusted her a little on his lap, moving them closer to the headboard until he leaned against it. It felt nice when he stroked her back. She relaxed.

  “Talk to me, Kat. You’re disturbing me.”

  That struck her as funny. She laughed, then sobered. “I am disturbed.”

  “I keep calculating the chances. They are in our favor.”

  “I know. It was one time.”

  “I will make a call and find out when the soonest time is that we can find out if you’re pregnant.”

  “Okay. Talk about bad timing and two people who shouldn’t breed.”

  He tensed. “The child wouldn’t have deficiencies because you’re human and I’m Species. My genetics would dominate yours. He’d be born Species.”

  She tensed too and looked up at him. “I meant because we’re both workaholics and not exactly a couple in a relationship.” She wiggled and got free of him. “Thanks for holding me. I’m good now. I almost forgot how anti-human you are.”

  He growled. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Deficiencies. Keep it up.” She glanced at the nightstand drawer to make a point then looked back at him. “God, you’re an ass. I’m going to shower. Will you please bring me that toothbrush and find something for me to wear? I don’t want to have to ride to the cottage in my nightshirt and wet panties.” She fled at that point, before she really got mad.

  She slammed the bathroom door but didn’t lock it. She really wanted to brush her teeth and have something to wear. It would be hard for him to bring them to her if he couldn’t get in. She turned on the shower and stepped inside, hoping it would cool her temper as she adjusted the water temperature to a little colder than she normally liked. Darkness just pissed her off. He had moments where she remembered why she had fallen for him then he blew it by opening his mouth.

  Falling for him. Try fell. It disheartened her to know he’d never really return her feelings. He wouldn’t allow anyone to break through those emotional walls of his. It had been foolish to think that living with him and making him get to know her better would work.

  Darkness uttered a curse and reached for the phone beside the bed. He dialed Trisha at home and she answered on the second ring. “Hello?”

  “It’s Darkness. Are you busy?”

  “No. What’s up?”

  “I need you to act as a doctor.”

  “That’s what I am.”

  “I meant, I need confidentiality. I have a question.”

  “You don’t want me to mention it to Slade, in other words. Hit me with it. I’m curious. He already left so he won’t overhear anything.”

  “I made a mistake.”

  “Okay. What kind?”

  He hesitated. “When is the soonest you can discover if a female is pregnant?”

  The silence on the other end lasted about ten seconds. “Oh. You and that FBI agent? Okay.” She paused. “Five days from the time of your, um, accident. The condom broke?”

  He clenched his teeth. “I refuse to discuss that.”

  “Fine. A blood test could tell us in five days. When did it happen? I can schedule you both to come in.”

  “Would it be accurate?”

  “Yes. I’ve gotten results in three days but five for sure. Species hormone levels hit fast when a woman is carrying one of your kind. They also have accelerated pregnancies. You’re feline so it would be a twenty-week gestation or thereabouts. It would mostly depend on how stubborn the baby would be. Some like to come a little early while others have hung in there an extra week or so.”

  “I don’t want anyone else to know.”

  “Not even her?” She paused again. “There are options. You need to tell her. She has to make a choice.”

  “I informed her. She didn’t want to take a pill.”

  “She knows you can get her pregnant? You’re going to have to inform someone at Security, Darkness. What if she wants to leave? Or tells someone outside?”

  “She understands the importance of keeping it a secret.”

  “It’s still a risk. You understand that.”

  “I’ll handle it but not right now.”

  “I take it that this accident happened recently?”

  “Thank you, Trisha.” He hung up.

  Darkness stood, went into the kitchen and grabbed the new toothbrush. He paused next to his dresser to find Kat a T-shirt and a pair of his drawstring exercise shorts. He entered the bathroom and placed them neatly on the counter. He soaked in the sight of her with her head tilted back under the
spray of water. The smell of conditioner filled the bathroom. His attention lowered to her breasts. His dick hardened. He turned before she caught him admiring her and left the bathroom.

  He fled his apartment and went down the hall where he knocked on the door beside the elevator. Book answered, wearing a pair of boxers, obviously ready for bed after his shift. The male arched an eyebrow.

  “Do you have condoms?”

  “You don’t have any? We all got issued some recently.”

  He resented being questioned. “I did but I threw them away. I didn’t think I’d have a need for them.” He had thought Kat wasn’t coming back to Homeland.

  A smile curved the male’s lips. “Hang on.” Book strode across his apartment and disappeared into his bedroom. He returned quickly, a box in hand. He tossed it and Darkness caught it. Book halted before him. “Anything else?”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m not surprised. You seemed to want to rip my arm off last night when I held that female to keep her from stepping off the wall.”

  “Could we keep this between us?”

  “Sure. I’m glad you found someone.”

  He spun and walked away. Book chuckled. Darkness resisted slamming his door when he returned to his apartment. He didn’t like to amuse other males. He locked the door and took the box to his bedroom. He put them in the drawer next to his two handguns and sat on the bed. The shower still ran in the other room.

  Kat would leave. She’d remain at Homeland but no longer be in his home. That should have made him feel pleased. It didn’t. She’d be alone. Other males from her classes would hear she’d come back. His memory flashed to the feline in the bar who’d offered to share sex with Kat. Others would too. He growled.

  He’d hurt her feelings and insulted her. She’d taken his comment about the baby wrong. He hadn’t meant it as an offense. He’d just wanted to assure her the child would be healthy and strong if they’d created one. He stood and walked to the bathroom door, put his hand on the knob. The water shut off in the other room. He remained still, listening to her moving around.

  He released the knob and backed away, taking a seat at the end of the bed. He waited. She took her time but she finally appeared. Her skin was pink from her shower, her dark hair wet, and his clothes were baggy on her small frame. She paused when she saw him watching her.