Still the One

by Susan May Warren

  Oh. Wow. “I’m sorry.”

  “One of the hardest things I had to deal with was never being able to apologize. To never be able to rectify the wrongs I’d done. It’s the other side of the same coin.”

  “What do you do with that?”

  “I wish I had a pat answer. Some ten-step solution.” Darek shook his head. “But I did have to find a way to forgive myself if I wanted to move on. And I had to forgive others. Let go of my anger. Forgiveness isn’t about justice. It’s about freedom.”

  “Justice is important to me.”

  “I get that. Forgiveness doesn’t negate justice. It simply puts it in the hands of God, where it belongs. Allows you the ability to move on.”

  Or stay. Cole picked up the application and stared at the first page job description and salary. “When does this close?”

  Megan stared at the remnants of the homemade pizza and cheesy bread that lay before her on Cole’s dining room table. Her gaze shifted to Cole, who looked entirely too delicious in his white T-shirt and jeans as he stood to clear plates.

  Even though she couldn’t eat another bite, she didn’t want the meal to end. Because now, she had to find the right way to tell him she was moving out. That she’d made that sacrifice so he could pursue his dreams and take care of his grandfather.

  Because that’s what love did. It sacrificed. And she was in the position to help. To fix the problem.

  Especially after she’d heard about what went down at the care center yesterday. The altercation with Cole’s grandfather. And the announcement delivered to him in a very public reception center. Information she’d grilled her friend Rhino, a nurse in the care home, about when he’d made a passing comment of concern about Mr. Barrett’s predicament.

  Cole had to sell the house—he had no choice. And according to Rhino, they’d even talked about him leaving town. So maybe he didn’t want to.

  But he had no choice.

  Because love sacrificed.

  Maybe, however, her announcement could wait for a bit. Until after she’d soaked in all the comfort of a family dinner around the table. The banter of easy conversation. Because once he knew she could move out, the house sale could be fast-tracked, and she wasn’t quite ready to face the inevitable. Wasn’t quite ready to tell Josh to pack up.

  Happy endings were for other people.

  When Cole had invited her and Josh to join him for dinner, she wasn’t sure exactly what to expect. They hadn’t been able to spend time together since they’d kissed.

  Yeah, the memory of that kiss—that long, lingering, delicious kiss—still made her toes curl.

  But Cole said nothing about it and instead set them to work when they arrived, throwing aprons on Josh and her. He helped Josh press the dough out and slather sauce across the crusts while she assembled their toppings.

  There was corn meal, flour, and cheese littering the countertops, and it’d been hard not to stop working just to watch them. The way Josh wrinkled his nose at the olives and Cole’s tactics to get him to try something new. Josh was so eager to please and Cole seemed to delight in sharing the experience with him.

  So much so, it hurt her heart to know it couldn’t last. To know Josh would have to say goodbye to all of this too.

  Sooner was better than later. She was doing the right thing by moving out. Helping Cole say goodbye.

  “Dessert?” Cole’s voice snatched her back to the present.

  Somehow that question brought up images of their kiss, again, and heat rushed her cheeks.

  He set a large cake on the table in front of them, this one from the bakery.

  “Wow. What’s the occasion?”

  “It seemed like a good day for a celebration.”

  Maybe that meant Nathan’s buyers hadn’t been chased off by Cole’s absurd sabotage. Which was a good thing, despite it causing a small ache in her chest.

  “Yes!” Josh jumped up and down.

  “I thought treats were bad for your PT test.” Megan raised a brow.

  “I didn’t say I was having any.” He quirked her a smile and hefted a too-large piece of cake onto Josh’s plate.

  “Don’t feel like there’s any competition to finish that whole thing.” Megan wrinkled her nose. “I’m all for cake, but that’s a lot of cake.”

  “Will you come to my tournament next Saturday?” Josh asked, taking a large bite of chocolate cake. “The doctor said my wrist should be fine by then.”

  Cole looked at her, a question in his eyes. “Well, Blades, that would be up to your mom.”

  Oh.

  “Please, Mom?” Josh gave her one of his wicked, gap-toothed smiles. The ones that made her want to snatch him up and squeeze him like he was still her little boy. Every time he lost a baby tooth, it gave him a hockey-player grin.

  “But while you’re thinking about it and Josh is enjoying his cake, why don’t you let me show you a few things.” He held out his hand.

  Oh, dear. Because getting alone with him just might involve more clandestine kissing.

  He led her to the front of the house and pointed to the ceiling. “I was thinking I could tear down those broken sections of crown molding and get a contractor to make me custom pieces to match.”

  What? The man stood in the middle of the room like the host of some house-flip show. Only more rugged and dangerous.

  Worse, his focused attention on her always made her feel so…wanted. Remembered. Special.

  How was she going to leave this man? Or…let him leave her?

  “Follow me.” He led her up the stairs to the second floor.

  There was no doubt with the work he’d already done and the work he planned to finish—the house would sell, and fast.

  Yep. Moving out was the right thing to do and having the Huestons’ place available afforded them both the easy exit required.

  “Take a look at this.” He tugged a sheet off a heap on the master bedroom floor. A tarnished brass chandelier with chains lay in a pile on the carpet. He lifted it from the floor. The fixture had five metal light shades, each with different colored glass insets hanging from heavy chains that sprouted at various lengths from a fleur-de-lis-shaped ceiling fixture. “I found it in the attic. I think it’s from the 1940s. Do you like it?”

  The worst of Art Nouveau meets Gothic Victorian. Even if age had treated it better, it was ghastly.

  “It’s…it’s…hideous.” She covered her mouth with her hand.

  He opened his mouth in shock. “You don’t think it will go with my modern Victorian theme?”

  “You can’t hang that thing. Friends don’t let friends hang ugly lamps. Not if you ever want to sell this house.” Her wedding business put her in the same circles as several designers, and modern Victorian design had been a hot market for several seasons. Drop a freshly remodeled house into an upscale North Shore town and, yeah. It would sell fast. Unless the light said anything about his final plans.

  His soft laughter, warm and full, filled the space. “So I should definitely hang it then.”

  “Stop. You can’t hang it.” She paused, his words soaking in. She met his eyes. Mischief lit the bright blue. “What exactly do you mean by that, Ranger? Are you—are you talking about staying here?”

  He blew out a long breath. “I don’t know.” His eyes met hers. “Maybe?”

  Her mouth went dry.

  “But, your grandpa? And the Deputy Marshal job? You want that. David’s expecting you in Washington. He’s counting on you, right?”

  “I do. It’s a great job and I’m sure I’d be hired.” He bit his lip. “And, yeah, David and I would need to talk.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  She started to turn away, but he caught her, drew her close.

  “There’s this other possibility, though.”

  She pressed her hands against his chest, let the warmth of him chase away the sudden chill in her bones.

  He caught her wrists up with his hands, let his fingers glide down the length of her f
orearms, and stepped closer. So close his body heated her from head to toe.

  She swallowed. “Um, yeah? What’s that?”

  “It seems there’s a deputy sheriff position that’s open.”

  What? Wait—

  “So, what do you think? Would I make a good deputy?”

  The only thing more devastating than Cole Barrett himself would be Cole Barrett in a uniform. Walking around Deep Haven. Her town. Staying.

  She needed to get space between them before she did something really stupid, like, yes, kiss him again. Why had he given Josh such a big piece of cake?

  Her phone buzzed in her pocket. “I should check that.” She stepped out of his arms and farther into the room, drawing her phone out to read the text.

  Ingrid Christiansen’s name scrolled across the banner.

  Thanks again for house sitting. The Huestons said they’ll pay you $1k for your trouble.

  Almost enough money to make up the rest of her down payment for the Black Spruce. She started to shove her phone back into her pocket when it vibrated again. This time, she saw Trevor’s name on the screen. She swiped it to ignore the call. He had no business interrupting her life now.

  Cole leaned against the wall. “Are you done?” He quirked a brow at her.

  Even that was irresistible.

  “Well—”

  “Because I haven’t told you the best part.”

  “You haven’t, huh?” She swallowed, bolstered her courage. “I need to tell—”

  He held up his hand. “Wait.” He closed the gap. “Then you can finish.” He stood so close she had to tilt her head up to look him in the eye. “I was thinking how ideal it is to have you and Josh in the garage apartment.”

  Huh? She wasn’t entirely sure she was tracking what he meant. Why in the world would that be ideal? “You mean you might stay? What about your grandpa’s care?”

  “I crunched some numbers and the rent you pay on the apartment will help cover some of his bills. I don’t have all the answers about money or about my plans with David. But…”

  And, as if she still didn’t fully understand what he meant, he pulled her close, ran his fingers through her hair, and kissed her. And her brain pretty much exploded.

  He tasted amazing, his arms strong, and she lost herself in his kiss. Oh, the man could kiss. And frankly, she always knew it, always dreamed of—

  “Mom?”

  Somewhere between devastating delirium and common sense, her brain registered the voice.

  Oops.

  Cole stepped away, grimacing, and mouthed the word Sorry.

  But maybe he didn’t have to apologize because Josh stood in the doorway watching them, a wild grin on his face.

  “So, that’s a yes about going to my game?”

  Chapter 12

  Cole’s entire future was riding on the application and job description in his hands. He stood in the mayor’s office, rubbed his hands on his jeans. He’d decided he’d better find out more about what he might be applying for.

  Seb leaned forward in his desk chair. “So, you are interested in the job?” The City Hall office looked like it might enjoy a minimalist makeover. A stack of files created a formidable Monday workload to Seb’s right, and a collection of coffee mugs and Deep Haven souvenirs lined the bookshelf behind him.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Outstanding.” He made a note on his memo pad. “You’ve read through the job announcement?” He picked up a file folder from his desk and thumbed through it, pulling out a document and sliding it over to Cole.

  Cole skimmed the page. He checked all the boxes for qualifications. And then some. “Yes, sir.”

  “And we’d tack onto that the collateral duties—the CRT.” He gave a pensive smile. “You know, if you get the job. We can’t guarantee it until all the applications are reviewed.”

  “Yes, sir.” It seemed unlikely that a North Woods deputy position could provide the level of activity Cole was accustomed to as a Ranger. And yet, somehow, when he thought of dinners at home—like the one he’d shared with Megan and Josh—the adrenaline rush didn’t seem quite so important. “I understand, though, no guarantees, of course.” Cole rubbed his hand on his thigh.

  Jensen knocked lightly on the open door. He stood with a man in uniform whom Cole recognized as Kyle Hueston, the sheriff. “Excuse me.” He entered with a smile and both men offered a handshake. “We heard a rumor about an applicant stopping by today.”

  “It’s true.” Seb sat back in his chair.

  “It’d be great to have you,” Kyle said. “I can’t tell you how badly we’re in need of someone to set up a real Crisis Response Team.”

  Cole remembered Kyle from childhood. He’d been one of the older teens around town, had played with a band at some of the local events. He was tall with an approachable demeanor. Unlike many small-town cops Cole had met, Kyle didn’t act like a man who had anything to prove.

  “You saw only a small fraction of the issues we run into up here,” Jensen said. “There’s nothing in place for emergency management and response.”

  “I’ve heard that.” And it was still difficult to believe since Cole’s entire military career had centered on being ready for fast action.

  Kyle nodded. “We’ve got unique geography here. This county alone is over three thousand square miles. Add in the three national protected areas, the Boundary Waters, the seasonal weather extremes. It’s literally a lot to cover.”

  Cole checked his watch. “I’m looking forward to hearing more about it.” He paused at the door. “I’d better get going. I need to pick up Josh from practice. Thank you for your time.”

  “Sure. Feel free to stop by my office. I’d be happy to answer any questions you have about the department,” Kyle said.

  Jensen gave him a nod. “Hey—thanks for sending the glass repairman. My contractor let me know he came today.”

  Cole laughed. “You’re welcome. It was the least I could do.” He held up his application packet. “I’ll get back to you on this.”

  With a job secured, maybe he’d be able to live in his grandfather’s house and pay for his care.

  What if he can’t apologize?

  Darek’s words still gnawed at Cole’s heart. He’d even dug out his Bible still sitting on the shelf in his old room. He hadn’t had much to say to God since Rebecca left him. If he were honest, he hadn’t had much to say to God since his parents died.

  He slid into his Jeep, grabbed his phone.

  He didn’t want to let David down. He punched in the number, almost hoping it’d go to voicemail. Instead, David answered on the first ring.

  “Hey, what’s up?” A sports announcer called out a play-by-play in the background.

  “Do you have a few minutes?” Cole cleared his throat.

  “Sure, one sec.” The background noise silenced. “Okay, talk to me.”

  “I’m still in Deep Haven.”

  “That many repairs? Geez.”

  Cole stared at the deputy paperwork in his hands. “There are a lot. But the problem is, I’m not sure I want to leave.”

  “Whoa. What?”

  Cole cringed. “I know. We had a plan.”

  “Have a plan. You’re a shoo-in for the position. What’s going on? Is that tenant still giving you trouble?”

  She was trouble, all right, just not exactly the kind David was thinking. Holding her. Kissing her. Talking about a future. The soft little moan she’d made when she’d surrendered into his arms and met his kisses with the same desire.

  “I—uh—” Cole cleared his throat. Tried to summon a rational explanation.

  “Are you kidding me? You’ve fallen for her.” Frustration wove through David’s accusation. “How many weeks has it been this time?”

  Ouch. Cole probably deserved that one.

  “It’s not like that. I told you she’s the one I used to talk about. The girl I grew up with.”

  “Do you know how much time I’ve put into talking you up? I’ve
got a place rented out for us.”

  “I get it. I’m sorry.”

  David let out a long breath. “So, what’s next? What do you want me to do?”

  “Nothing yet. There’s a position here. I’d like to apply with the sheriff’s department, but I wanted to talk to you first. And maybe I won’t even get it.” Cole gritted his teeth. “Can you wait for me? See what pans out for me here?”

  “Okay.” David paused. “I’m good to go for another month before I’ll need to dig in and look for a new roommate if you’re not coming.”

  “Thanks, man, you’re the best.”

  “You’re welcome. You know I’d do anything I can for you.”

  “I know.” Because David was the kind of man who’d sacrifice his life for another. Whose heart was filled with duty.

  “But Cole?” David paused a beat, his tone serious. “Be smart this time.”

  Cole closed his eyes. “I will.”

  “Seriously,” David added. “You’ve been gone a long time. People change. Watch your six.”

  “I get it.” He couldn’t expect David to know anything different.

  “Keep me posted. If she’s as great as you think she is, I’m looking forward to meeting her.”

  “Thanks, David.”

  Cole parked at the rink, tossed his phone on the seat before walking over to watch the action. The team was still focused on their drills. He stood along the wall with the other parents waiting for practice to end, an assortment of hockey moms and dads, with a few grandparents thrown in. And him.

  He could get used to being part of a normal life. Josh asking him to go to the tournament had nearly taken him apart. He was so eager to bring Cole into his world.

  Cole swallowed. Watched Josh zip across the ice and it warmed his heart. He’d never spent time around kids. But Josh made it easy—he was so much like his mother.

  “How’s it going?” Darek asked. He approached from the lot and took a spot next to Cole. He wore his standard Evergreen uniform—jeans and an Evergreen Lodge jacket.

  “Pretty good.”

  “It’s good to see Josh back on the ice.”

  “Yeah, it really is. Tiger’s been a huge help, encouraging him.”