Finding Shayla

by M C Wilson

  “What can I do for you?” said Cayenne.

  “We’re through here for today. I need to get my case ready. I’d appreciate it if you’d let me out.”

  “Of course.” She unlocked the door.

  “My client has had a rough morning. I’d appreciate it if she wasn’t disturbed the rest of the day.”

  “I’ll do what I can.”

  “Thank you.”

  But Cayenne had no intentions of leaving Shayla alone. Her face was blotchy, her eyes swollen and bloodshot. Cayenne needed to comfort her.

  She saw Kane out and walked back to the cell.

  “Are you okay?” she said.

  Shayla shook her head, fresh sobs wracking her body.

  “Do you want to be alone?” Cayenne asked.

  Shayla shook her head again.

  Cayenne let herself into the cell and sat next to Shayla. Shayla moved against her and buried her face in Cayenne’s shoulder. Cayenne held her as she cried.

  Twenty minutes later, Cayenne was still holding Shayla, though her sobs had diminished.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Cayenne said.

  “I did it, you know.” Shayla sat up straight. “I killed my husband.”

  Cayenne nodded slowly.

  “I suspected that when you ran.”

  “Cayenne, how can you be so nice to me? I’m a murderer.”

  “Someday you’ll tell me the whole story,” Cayenne said. “But I believe you did it to protect yourself. I believe Robin Gardner was a horrible person. I just hope Mr. Kane can prove that.”

  “He was a terrible human being. Life with him was pure hell. I couldn’t take anymore, Cayenne. Please believe me.”

  “I do, Shayla. I totally believe you.”

  “Sheriff?” Someone called down the hall.

  “In here.”

  Farris appeared.

  “Sheriff, there’s been another fight at the tavern. This time it’s out of towners. They’re bringing them in now.”

  “Thanks. I’ll clear out the other cell. Want to help me?”

  The only other cell in their station had been filled with furniture and file cabinets. It had been used for storage since before Cayenne became sheriff. She and Farris worked hard and fast and just got it emptied when two other deputies came in with two burly men in cuffs.

  “Right this way, gentlemen,” Cayenne said.

  “Fuckin’ dyke,” one of the prisoners whispered under his breath.

  Cayenne wheeled on him.

  “You’re in enough trouble, my friend. I’d watch your attitude.”

  He spit on her and it took every ounce of self-control not to lash out at him.

  She went back to her desk and looked at the report. Sounded like they’d done some major damage to the tavern. And to think it had only just been fixed up after the last debacle.

  Cayenne put her hat on and went to the tavern to interview the bartender and the owner. Apparently, a couple of regulars were beyond drunk and were standing arm-in-arm at the juke box singing along. The bartender said he thought they were mostly holding each other up, but the out of towners walked in and declared the two men faggots.

  They proceeded to claim that the tavern was a gay bar and that all queers should die. They tore the place up, breaking furniture and beating people up. Cayenne interviewed men who were holding bar rags on bloody noses and black eyes. When she’d seen and heard enough, she went back to the station.

  She wrote up the arrest paperwork and went down the hall to read the charges to the men.

  “This place is the devil’s playground,” one of the men said. “Bunch of queers here. We only did what was right. You can’t make any of that stick.”

  “You spit on me in front of witnesses,” Cayenne said calmly. “That’s a felony in and of itself. I’ll make sure all these charges stick.”

  She stopped off at Shayla’s cell on her way back to her desk.

  “How are you doing?” she said.

  “Better than you at the moment.”

  “Nah. I’m okay.”

  “I’m glad,” Shayla said. “They’ve got my blood boiling though.”

  “They’re a couple of no-bit losers. I’m not worried about them.”

  “I wish I was as strong as you.”

  “I think you’re probably stronger. Say, would you like to get out of that cell for a few hours? I was thinking we could go pick up some dinner.”

  “Is that allowed?” Shayla said.

  “I’m the sheriff. What I say goes. And I say it’s allowed.”

  Shayla favored Cayenne with a bright smile.

  “That would be wonderful.”

  “Great. Let me finish my paperwork and I’ll come back to get you.”

  “May I ask a favor?” Shayla said.

  “Sure.”

  “Can I get a toothbrush and some toothpaste? I feel gross.”

  “Of course. I’ll send one of the guys to go get some for you.”

  She sent a deputy to fill Shayla’s request then settled in to fill out more information about the tavern debacle. She entered the names and phone numbers of the witnesses and was just about through when her phone rang.

  “O’Leary,” she said.

  “Just who I was looking for.” She recognized Mayor Stewart’s voice.

  “Hello, Mayor.”

  “What the hell happened today?”

  “I assume you mean the out of towners who tore up the tavern? They’re in custody. I’m throwing the book at them. Including labeling it all a hate crime. Plus, one of them spat in my face, so he’ll be doing time for that, as well.”

  “Excellent. I knew I could count on you.” Cayenne rolled her eyes. “When will they be going to court?”

  “As soon as I can get them there, Mayor. I want them out of my jail. I want them in prison. Where they belong.”

  “Good girl, Cayenne. If you need anything, let me know.”

  “Yes, sir. Will do.”

  She hung up and wanted to take a shower. Talking to the mayor always left her feeling slimy. But she didn’t wallow in it. She had a date with Shayla tonight. That was all that mattered.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Cayenne went into the restroom and checked herself out in the mirror. She finger-combed her hair until it spiked somewhat. It looked somewhat messy, but the look worked. She sniffed her pits and decided she was presentable. She walked down the hall to Shayla’s cell.

  “I’m taking her to dinner with me,” Cayenne told the guard. “I have some questions for her. We’ll be back shortly. In the meantime, focus your attention on dumb and dumber, okay?”

  The guard gave her a questioning look, but said, “Yes, ma’am.”

  Cayenne and Shayla walked down the main street until they arrived at the only steakhouse in town.

  “The food here’s not bad,” Cayenne said. “And I’m jonesin’ for a steak. Do you eat meat?”

  “Voraciously.” Shayla laughed.

  “Good answer.” Cayenne held the door open and admired Shayla’s trim figure as she walked in first. Her dress was rumpled, and her hair could have used a brushing, but Cayenne didn’t care. She thought Shayla looked beautiful.

  They were shown to a table and, as they walked back to it, several people stopped Cayenne to say hello or tell her what a fine job she was doing. She took it all in stride and was finally alone at a back booth with Shayla.

  “How are you holding up?” Cayenne said.

  Shayla shrugged.

  “I guess I’m doing okay. When do I go to trial?”

  “First you need to appear in court which I’d imagine will be tomorrow. You’ll go before the judge and Mr. Kane will plead your case.”

  “Then I’ll go back to jail?”

  “It depends. You may be released. In which case, you’d be free until you stand trial.”

  Shayla looked scared.

  “But where would I go? I can’t go back to that house. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

/>   “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” said Cayenne. “For now, let’s just focus on enjoying dinner.”

  “You told that guard you had questions for me. What are they?”

  Cayenne smiled.

  “I just want to get to know you better. I hope that’s okay.”

  Shayla smiled back. “That sounds nice.”

  They checked out their menus and ordered. Cayenne ordered a bottle of wine.

  “Probably not in a regulation prisoner dinner, but who cares?” she laughed.

  Cayenne knew more than she could let on. She didn’t want to bring up bad memories, so she racked her brain trying to think of something non-triggering to ask Shayla.

  “How did you end up in Arizona?” she finally said. “I know you grew up in Omaha. I met your mom. Lovely lady.”

  “Yeah. She said you stopped by. I came to Arizona for school. Arizona State had a good drama department and that’s what I was interested in.”

  “Right. And you ended up in Chicago on a TV show. How exciting. I felt guilty taking you away from there.”

  “Don’t. You were just doing your job. And it’s best I stand trial. I hated living in fear that someone would arrest me. It was almost a relief to see you that day.”

  “I get what you’re saying. I was sorry to take you away from your dream though. If you get off, will you go back to Chicago?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Was there someone in Chicago? You know… were you involved with someone?” Cayenne held her breath. She didn’t want to know the answer but had to ask.

  “Sort of,” Shayla said.

  “Sort of?” Cayenne forced herself to laugh. “What does that even mean?”

  “There was a woman. She was kind and gentle and patient with me. But I didn’t have the kind of feelings for her that I should have.”

  “No?” That made Cayenne feel better.

  “No. I tried. And I cared about her. I really did. And I tried to be a good girlfriend, but I couldn’t sleep with her, you know? I still can’t let anybody touch me. Like that.” She added in a whisper.

  Cayenne took one of Shayla’s shaking hands.

  “It’s okay, Shayla. If she really cared about you, she wouldn’t have tried to touch you.”

  “And she didn’t. She was a very decent woman. But there were no sparks. Not really.”

  “I wonder if you’ll ever feel sparks again,” Cayenne said.

  “Oh, I’m sure I will.”

  “I hope so. You deserve happiness. You deserve to be complete.”

  “I appreciate that. I really do. Thank you.”

  They finished the bottle of wine and Cayenne ordered another just as their dinner was being served.

  Cayenne raised her glass.

  “Here’s to good friends,” Cayenne said.

  “Is that what we are?”

  “I don’t know. You tell me.”

  “I’m not sure. I mean, you’re awfully kind to me. And I appreciate all the attention you give me, but what happens when all this is over? Will you even remember me?”

  “Oh, Shayla. How could I ever forget you?”

  Shayla absorbed the words and wondered how to respond. Cayenne wanted to know if she’d ever feel sparks again yet that was exactly what she felt every time Cayenne was near. She finally raised her glass and clinked it against Cayenne’s.

  “To good friends,” she said.

  Cayenne smiled at her and Shayla swooned. Cayenne was such a handsome woman. She was different than Jazz. She was taller, bulkier, with red hair instead of blonde, but with equally soft blue eyes.

  Shayla knew it wasn’t fair to compare the two women, but she couldn’t help it. Jazz had been wonderful and had taken such good care of her. But if Shayla had agreed to forever with her, she’d have been settling. And she didn’t want to settle. She wanted to be excited every time she saw her partner, be it man or woman. Though, she knew she’d never be with another man. But Cayenne? She could settle down with her. In a heartbeat.

  “How did you end up in Lazu?” Shayla said. “I’m sure you told me that night, but that night is a bit foggy.”

  Cayenne laughed.

  “I understand that. I was a detective in Houston, but there were layoffs and I lost my job. I was looking for anything that would get me away from there and I saw that the sheriff’s position was coming available after Sheriff Harrison retired, so I decided to throw my hat in the ring.”

  “Wow. From Houston to Lazu. Talk about a culture shock.”

  “It has taken some getting used to,” Cayenne said.

  “I’m sure that’s an understatement,” Shayla laughed. She felt good. The wine was making her mellow and she could almost forget that she’d had to relive that horrible day that morning with Mr. Kane.

  Robin didn’t matter. Mr. Kane didn’t matter. Court didn’t matter. All that mattered was Cayenne and she was right there with her. She hoped she’d always be able to look across a table and see Cayenne. But was that a realistic hope? Only time would tell.

  “It may not be my place to say anything,” Cayenne said. “But your husband was a fool. He should have treated you like the queen you are.”

  “Queen? Watch out for that pedestal, Cayenne. I’m a prisoner in your jail right now. Hardly a queen.”

  “I’m sorry. I really like you Shayla. I hope you’ll stay around after you’re released. I’d like to get to know you better.”

  “Really?” Shayla said. “But you don’t know me.”

  “We spent hours together the night we met. And I’ve spent some good time with you since you’ve been my ward. I may not know you well, but I know enough to know I’d like to know you better.”

  “And I’d really like to know you better too, Cayenne. You seem like a very special person.”

  “I’d like to show you how you deserve to be treated. If you’ll give me the chance.”

  “That sounds wonderful,” Shayla said. “But who knows? I may be in prison for life in a few weeks or so. Will you come visit?”

  “Mr. Kane is going to get you off. I’m sure of it.”

  “I wish I could be so sure.”

  “I didn’t bring you here to talk about your case. Let’s change the subject. I asked you out to get to know you better.”

  “What would you like to know? I’m an open book. Ask anything and I’ll answer it.”

  “Why Arizona State? Surely you could have gotten into a big name university for drama.”

  “I got a full ride scholarship to ASU. That’s why I went there.”

  “That makes sense. You must have been really smart.”

  Shayla smiled at her.

  “I did okay,” she said. “I was a four-point student who was in every production the high school put on starting as a freshman. So I was ready to take up acting as a career.”

  “Would you still like that? To be an actress?”

  “I don’t know. I’m not going to deny that it was a heady feeling to be in front of the lights again in Chicago. And they were going to expand my role. I was going to be somewhat of a main character next season.”

  “That’s exciting.”

  “Yep. But I don’t know if I want to go back to that. It was exciting. Thrilling even. But I think I’m more cut out for small town living.”

  “And the woman you left behind? Is she the one who sent Mr. Kane?” Cayenne said.

  Shayla nodded.

  “She is. I suppose I should go back there. Oh, Cayenne, I don’t know. It’s all too much to consider right now.”

  “Sh. That’s okay. You don’t need to make any decisions right now.”

  “I don’t even know what I’ll be doing tomorrow or the next day even. I might be in prison.”

  Shayla fought to control the tears, but they came anyway. She was terrified. She didn’t want to go to prison. She didn’t want to go back to Chicago. All she knew was this could be her last meal at a restaurant, and she was bawling like a baby. She took a deep breath a
nd tried to calm herself.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “You probably think I’m a big baby.”

  “Nonsense. Prison is scary. I get that. But I don’t see how any jury could convict you, Shayla. I really don’t.”

  “I appreciate your faith in me, but you really don’t know me. And you don’t know the whole story. For all you know, I’m a cold-blooded murderer.”

  “I’m a sheriff. I’ve been a detective in the fourth biggest city in this country,” Cayenne said. “I’ve seen cold-blooded murderers. And, believe me, you’re not one.”

  Shayla managed a weak smile.

  “Thank you. I appreciate that.” She looked at the empty dishes and wine bottle. “I suppose it’s time to get me back, huh?” She hoped Cayenne would have more plans for her. Maybe some after dinner drinks?

  “I suppose it is,” said Cayenne. “Come on. I hate to lock you back up again, but it’s my job.”

  “I understand.”

  Shayla felt so safe, so secure walking down the street with Cayenne. She longed to take Cayenne’s hand and hold it, feeling her strong fingers engulfing her, but knew better. Cayenne was the sheriff. And Shayla was the prisoner. Prisoner.

  She wondered how many other prisoners Cayenne took out to dinner.

  “Why did you take me out tonight?” Shayla said.

  “What do you mean? I wanted to get to know you better.”

  “Couldn’t you have just done that in the cell?”

  “Is that what you would have preferred?” said Cayenne.

  “No. I really enjoyed myself tonight.”

  “Good.”

  Cayenne nodded to the guard who opened the cell for Shayla. Shayla wanted to run far away, to get away from this tiny barred room that had become her place of residence. But she knew Cayenne would catch her and all pretense of chivalry would be gone.

  So she went into the cell and lay down. In her mind, she played over dinner time and again. She allowed herself to remember that night that seemed so long ago, when they’d first met.

  She thought of Cayenne’s kisses, soft yet powerful, and her whole body vibrated with need. This was how it was supposed to feel. This was what was missing with Jazz. It was nice to have these feelings. Even if it was for the woman who was holding her in jail.