Escaping the Past

by Tammy Falkner

  “Well…” he began.

  “Shut up and go to bed, John, before I knock your crutches out from under you and leave you in the hallway.”

  Brody turned and went into his own room, closing out John and the rest of the world.

  ****

  Lou lay in her bed smiling, having just heard every word that they had just said. What a great way to start the day.

  A bit later, after she had already showered and had Sarah ready for church, Sadie came to get her. Sadie knocked softly on her door and then poked her head inside. Lou sat on the edge of her bed. She had Sarah between her knees as she pulled the girl’s long, dark tresses up and held them back with barrettes. She patted Sarah on the bottom and said, “Go and brush your teeth.”

  Sadie’s eyes met Lou’s as she walked into the room and sat down beside her on the bed. She candidly asked, “What are you doing up so early? You usually sleep in on Sundays.”

  Lou sighed. “I just couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged her shoulders and looked down at the floor.

  Sadie reached and touched her hand to Lou’s forehead. “No fever.” She raised one finger to her lips and pretended to think really hard. She touched Lou’s cheek and grinned. “But I do think you have been bitten.”

  “Bitten?” Lou asked incredulously.

  “Yep. By the love bug. Symptoms usually include a racing heart, rosy cheeks, and an allover warm sensation, not unlike a fever but a little more pleasant.”

  Lou laughed out loud. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Sure you do. You have the hots for that fancy pants, Brody, who I happen to love like he’s my own son, but he’s no angel and we both know it.”

  “I do not have the hots…” Lou started.

  Sadie cut her off. “Uh uh,” she scolded, shaking her finger. “This is old Sadie you’re talking to, but I’m not so old I can’t remember that feeling you’re fighting. My man still makes my toes tingle and look how old we are.” She snorted.

  “Sadie!” Lou shrieked as she stood and clamped a hand over her mouth.

  “Hey, I just wanted you to know I have been where you are standing.”

  “And what did you do?” Lou stammered.

  “Well, I married him. Do you have the same opportunity?” Sadie asked.

  “Probably not,” Lou replied.

  “Then you need to figure out what you’re doing before you do it. It’s hard to make decisions that might affect your future when you’re feeling all flushed and warm and a man is holding you.”

  Lou squeezed her eyes shut tightly. “Sadie,” she moaned.

  Sadie stood up and wiped Lou’s bangs from her eyes. “He’s got you all tore up inside?” she asked softly.

  “Yeah,” Lou replied, just as softly.

  “You’re a mother. You’re a friend. Are you ready to be someone’s short-term lover?”

  “No.”

  Sadie patted Lou’s arm. “Then there’s your answer.” She took a dramatic bow, as dramatic as her old bones would allow. “Glad I could be of service.”

  Sarah ran out of the bathroom, one hair bow already falling out of her hair. Lou reached to repair the damage. Sadie held up a hand and said, “I got it,” as she ushered Sarah from the room.

  As Sadie walked through the threshold, Lou called out, “Sadie?”

  “Yeah, honey,” Sadie replied, smiling softly at Lou.

  “Thanks.”

  All she got in response was a nonchalant wave.

  ****

  Lou walked into the kitchen and was surprised to see Brody was already up. He sat at the table with the newspaper and a box of Lucky Charms before him.

  She stared at him. “Is that my hidden stash of Lucky Charms?”

  He grinned broadly and tipped it over. A few crumbs fell into his bowl. “Not anymore,” he said around the cereal in his mouth.

  “You think it’s funny to eat all my Lucky Charms?” She picked up the box and tapped him gently over the head with it.

  “It was for a minute, yeah.” He was still smiling. He pulled out the chair beside him, and in it sat a gaily wrapped present.

  Lou’s eyebrows drew together and she frowned. “What’s that?” She pointed at the package.

  “Why don’t you open it and find out?”

  She cautiously walked around the table and picked up the gift. She sat down in the chair and lifted it to her ear. She shook it gently.

  “Would you just open it already?” he scowled.

  “Would you wait a minute? Playing with the package before you open it is half the fun.”

  “Don’t I know it?” He spoke again around another mouthful of Lucky Charms.

  Lou raised her head. “What did you say?”

  “Nothing.”

  Lou slid her finger under one corner of the wrapping paper and lifted it slowly.

  “Good God, girl. You’re killing me, here.”

  She used her best mother’s voice, shook her finger at him and snapped, “Patience, please.” Then she opened the other corner of the package. She looked inside and started to laugh. “Lucky Charms. You shouldn’t have.”

  “Oh, it’s nothing.”

  “No. I mean it. You shouldn’t have eaten all my cereal and then you wouldn’t have had to buy me another box.” She lifted one eyebrow and looking at him. Then she sobered. “Thanks, though.”

  Brody held out his hand. “Can I open the box, now? I want another bowl,” Brody asked.

  “I should have known you had a motive.”

  “Your smile when you opened it was motive enough, my lady,” he said quietly as he took the cereal from her hand. Then, more playfully, he added, “I get the toy.”

  “You’ll have to fight me for it,” she replied, snatching it back quickly from his grasp. She searched the outside of the box and saw no clue that spoke of the prize within. She opened the lid and noticed the bag inside was already open. “Hey! This bag must have already been torn.” Then she saw it. A small jewelry box lying on top of the cereal. Her eyes met Brody’s and he smiled. “Did you put this in here?” she whispered as she pulled the small package from its bed of Lucky Charms.

  “If you like it, I did. If not, then definitely not. In that case, it was a mistake the leprechauns made.”

  Lou tilted the lid on the jewelry box and gasped as she saw the contents. It contained a thin, silver chain and a small charm. Lou removed the charm from the velvet lining and held it up to the light. It was a small silver circle with tiny feather charms around the outside. The inside looked like a spider’s web, yet had an open hole in the center. Small turquoise beads danced around the middle.

  Lou gasped. “It’s beautiful! What is it?”

  Brody took the charm from her fingers and lifted the necklace from the box. He began to thread the charm onto the silver necklace. “It’s called a dream catcher. You’re supposed to hang it over a baby’s bed and it catches all the dreams before they get to the baby. The good ones go on through the center hole and float on the feathers down to the baby. The bad ones are caught in the web and held there until morning light. When the sun touches them, they vanish.”

  Brody took a deep breath and motioned with his finger that she should spin around. She turned her back to him and lifted her hair. He placed the silver chain around her neck and fastened the clasp. He lingered a tad too long and then bent to place a quick kiss on her shoulder. She stiffened yet still turned to him and buried her face in his chest. He lifted her face in his hands with his thumbs at her chin and his fingers in her hair. He smiled broadly at her.

  “I guess you like my gift,” he said, wiping the tears from her eyes with his thumbs.

  “It’s the most beautiful gift I have ever seen,” she sniffed. She raised herself on tiptoe to kiss his cheek but then heard a discreet cough in the doorway.

  “Lola, is everything all right?” Brody asked, his face marred with worry.

  “Yes, Dr. Wester. It’s your mother.” She turned and pointed back to the bed
room.

  “Is she all right?” He quickly disentangled himself from Lou and started to walk toward Lola.

  “Absolutely, Dr. Wester. She’s sitting up and asking for you.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lou followed Brody to Mrs. Wester’s bedroom and was astonished to see her sitting up in bed with a big smile on her face. She raised her arms to Brody as he approached and took his hands in her own. He bent and touched his lips to her cheek.

  “How are you, Mom?” He reached and touched her forehead.

  She grabbed his hand with her own and swatted him away like a pesky fly. “I feel wonderful. Better than I have felt in quite some time, actually.” She spoke clearly and succinctly, eyes bright and shining. Then she noticed Lou in the room.

  “You come here, too.” She swiftly waved her hand in a come-hither motion. Lou approached the bed, a worried frown upon her face. “Why do you look so sour? Both of you? You both look like you’ve just spotted a deer with antlers on his ass.”

  “Mom!” Brody replied, smiling broadly. Then he sobered. “I am glad to see you feeling so much better.”

  “Me too!” Mrs. Wester sighed. “Now. What are we going to do today?”

  “What do you mean?” Brody asked, his eyebrows drawn together.

  “I mean I am tired of sitting in this bed all day and I want you to take me somewhere.”

  “Did you have somewhere in particular in mind, Mom?”

  “Actually, I do.” Her eyes met Brody’s as she said, “I want to go to your father’s grave.”

  “Mom, we can’t…”

  “Don’t ‘we can’t’ me, son. I’m telling you where I want to go. Now, either you can take me or I can call a cab.” She pointed to her nightstand and said, “Lou, would you get the phone book out of the bottom drawer for me, please?”

  Lou looked at Brody like a deer caught in the headlights.

  “Don’t do it, Lou.” Then he turned to his mother and groaned. “You’re sure this is what you want to do?”

  “Positive.” She smiled softly at Brody. “Why don’t you two go and pack a picnic while Lola here helps me get dressed?” She motioned for Lola to get up from her chair and pointed her toward the bureau to retrieve some clothes. “Move it, son. I don’t have a lifetime.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Brody said as he pushed Lou from the room.

  In the hallway, her worried eyes met his. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

  “No,” was his only reply.

  “Then why are we doing it?”

  “Because, when people as sick as my mom are about to die, they usually have a day or two of clarity before it happens. They usually rally right before death. They have an opportunity to take care of unfinished business and to say goodbye to the people they love.”

  Lou reached up and touched his cheek. “Oh, Brody, I had no idea.”

  He took her hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the backs of her fingers gently. “It’s going to be okay. I have been expecting this for a while but it sure doesn’t make it any easier.” He drew in one deep breath, steeling himself. “Let’s go and make sandwiches.”

  They worked well in the kitchen, packing a picnic basket with sandwiches, chips, cookies, and drinks. Lou made three sandwiches and placed them in the basket. “You need to make one more,” Brody said around a mouthful of ham.

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re going with us.” With the look on her face, she expected him to follow the comment with, “Duh,” but he refrained.

  “Are you sure you want me to come? Don’t you want to be alone with her for today?”

  “Nope. I want what she wants, and she’s going to want you to go. I want you to go, too. Otherwise, I’ll get stuck with Lola if there’s a crisis.” He made a face of horror, probably in hopes of winning her sympathy.

  She laughed softly and then hung her head.

  He reached over and tipped her chin up, looking into her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  “It just doesn’t feel right to laugh when your mom is so sick.”

  “I’ll make a deal with you.”

  “What kind of deal?”

  “While she’s alive, we’ll laugh. Then, when she’s gone, we’ll cry.”

  “Deal,” Lou replied.

  “Deal.” Brody snapped the picnic basket closed and went to stow it in the trunk of the car.

  ****

  Brody found loading the car with picnic supplies was much easier than loading his mother into the car. She was still weak and tired but her mind was clear for the first time in weeks. Brody gently lifted her from the wheelchair and lowered her just as tenderly into the backseat of the car. Lou buckled her seatbelt while Brody put the wheelchair in the trunk. Lola slid into the backseat alongside her and Lou got in front.

  She turned around in her seat to look back with a frown on her face. “Are you sure you want to do this, Mrs. Wester. Are you okay?”

  “I promise you, dear, that if I get tired, I’ll ask to come home. This short little trip won’t kill me, I’m sure. If it does, I’ll go out happy.”

  Lou hid her smile behind her hand. They drove down the winding driveway to the main road and traveled twenty more minutes to the local Baptist church. The church sat on a hill beside a pasture and a pond, and had a fenced family graveyard next door. Brody set up the wheelchair and moved his mother over to the chair while Lola and Lou anxiously hovered. He gently tipped the wheelchair back and smiled into her eyes.

  “Looks like you get to recline while we go across these rocks.”

  “Just get me there, son. I don’t care how you have to do it,” she replied.

  “I’ve never been to the grave, Mom. Which way do I go?”

  Lou caught his eye with a silent question.

  “I didn’t come home when my dad died,” he mumbled under his breath.

  “But you’re here now, son. That’s what matters.”

  The headstone was overgrown with weeds and brambles and showed a general lack of care. Brody bent immediately and began to pull up weeds and remove sticks and old flowers.

  His mother looked at Lou and asked, “Lou, will you take Lola and go down to the pond? There are some nice flowers that grow down there. They would look pretty up here.” She stared absently at the headstone.

  “Sure. We would love to.” Lou bent and placed a kiss on the old lady’s weathered cheek before they walked toward the pond.

  Brody sat down on the grass beside the wheelchair and looked up at her. She touched the curls on his forehead tenderly. “I remember when you were just a little thing and you looked up at me like that.”

  Brody rested his cheek against her knee. He looked into her gray eyes, so like his own, and said, “I’m sorry, Mom.”

  “For what?” She absently patted his head.

  “For running away. For not coming home. For not being here for you when he died. For not being what you needed.”

  “You were always what I needed, Broden. Always. You were your own person. I remember when you were little and your dad got angry at me because I let you do things your way. He thought you should fit in this neat and tidy little box and we should try to keep you there. You were never made to fit in a box like that. You were made for bigger and better things.” She smiled at him. “You were made for love and laughter and life. You have had all of those things and made your own way. I am so proud you are mine.”

  “I just couldn’t make him see…” Brody started.

  “He was your father. Fathers want what’s best for their children. If you were on the farm, he could watch you and protect you from things that would hurt you. He did it because he thought you would never go. He regretted it every day after you left, but then he saw you were successful and happy. He was proud of you, too. You didn’t need him after you left. That’s hard for a father to take. Did you know he went to your graduation from college? He stood way in the back and watched you get your diploma. In a perfect world, he would have let you have your dr
eams and let you out of the box. He would have agreed you needed to take your licks like a man while still giving you a safe haven to come home to. But the world is not perfect. Neither was the man.”

  “I still loved him,” Brody stated blandly.

  “He knew it, dear,” was her only response to his comment. She grinned broadly at him and took his chin in her hand. She shook his chin gently. “But you were mine. From the day that you were born, you were mine. I counted your fingers and toes. I looked into your eyes and I knew you were mine. You were the best baby. A fabulous child. But you were not made to be a rancher.”