Bodacious

by C. M. Lally

  He shudders quick shallow breaths of air trying to calm his emotions down to a dull roar. He may not like the beginning of his story with her, but I know he’s a good man and he’ll make sure they’re both okay. I know it as well as I know I’m breathing right now.

  “You know what he told me he wants to be when he grows up?” He removes his hat and tosses it to the backseat, allowing me to see his face. Glassy, red-rimmed eyes are staring hard at me.

  “No, what?”

  “A doctor, so he can help people like his mother. Now, I know lots of kids say they want to be doctors, but what kind of kid wants to be an addiction doctor? It just breaks my heart that he knows these things.”

  “He’s a great kid; a compassionate kid that has his morals screwed on right. Sometimes our life experiences aren’t perfect, but they make us better people. Be proud of that.”

  We pull into the lot assigned to us for the show this weekend. We’re the first ones here, so we get the pick of the lot. Braxton chooses the far corner on W Juneau across from the sports complex and closest to the hotel that Myla is staying at. I’m so excited that she’ll be here in three days.

  “As soon as we get settled, I need to get a plane ticket to Texas. Don’t let me fall asleep without doing that.”

  “Alright. I can do that,” I promise, before lifting the handle to the door and blasting us both with interior cab lights.

  He winces and groans, not quite ready for the brightness, “Well, I’m awake now.”

  Chapter 16 – Braxton

  I COME AROUND THE CORNER to the Baggage Claim area at DFW Airport, and see Trent waiting. My name is in bold print on a fancy cardboard sign. I know he didn’t make that himself. His writing is worse than mine; it’s pure chicken scratch. “What the hell is this?” I shout above the incessant advertisements and paging system of the airport.

  “I’m here to pick up THE best bull rider in the PBR,” he thunders in return. Everyone close to us turns their heads like a celebrity is in their midst. He hugs me with a hard clap on my shoulders causing me to wince. The sting rings through my muscles reminding me of my most recent ride.

  “No baggage to claim? Just this one carry-on?” He takes my bag off my shoulder and continues to look around like he’s expecting more baggage.

  “What are you doing?” He laughs when I raise my eyebrow in question. “I know you have a stressful job, but you’re too young to lose your mind yet.”

  “Well, I was checking for a bag full of gold belt buckles. I thought for sure you champions never went anywhere without them.”

  “Ha ha ha! You’ve gotten funnier with age.” He escorts me out into the blazing Texas heat. Sweat beads form on my forehead, and I remove my hat to wipe them away.

  Once we’re out of the parking garage and heading toward the interstate, I ask the burning question that’s on my mind. “Did you find out what happened that we’re heading to court for this today? I don't expect you to solve my problems or hide them for me. But I was hoping this would stay out of the courts.”

  He sighs deeply before speaking. The sad-eyed glance he throws me tells me he’s not happy about the situation either. “I tried to pass it through, Brax. You have to believe me, but it came across the desk of Howard Bilmark. He’s the new director of the ‘Task Force on the Opioid Crisis’ here. He’s a hard man, Braxton. I’m scared for her.”

  “I know you worry about her and Rowan. I appreciate it.”

  “It keeps me up at night, man. He’s making a spectacle of everyone that he can to show the public he’s doing his job. He sees being a drug addict as a crime.” Another quick glance in my direction shows me the dark circles under his eyes.

  “Trent, it’s gonna be okay.”

  “You don’t know that man. You’re not here. They are cracking down hard on addicts to force them to give up their suppliers, and this is only the first piece of the puzzle.”

  “What do you mean ‘the first piece of the puzzle’?” My heart races as he pulls into the parking garage. He zips into a reserved spot under a sign that reads Emergency Services. He notices me reading the sign, and I point to it. “Fancy perk?”

  He shrugs his shoulders and laughs. “I’m not going to complain. It beats driving around endlessly looking for a spot.” We get out of the car and walk toward the elevator. “The second piece of the puzzle is that her case belongs to Judge Henshaw.”

  “Awww, fuck. Not that crusty old bastard.” I smack the down button on the elevator with my fist as hard as I can to relieve some of my anger. “I did nothing to that man, and he fucking hates me. Do you know what he said to me on graduation day?”

  “Yes, I do. You’ve told me a hundred times. He thinks you kicked the potential out of his daughter. I know. I know,” he drones. The elevator arrives, and I have to silence my rage in front of these strangers that are staring back at us as we enter.

  Thank God we separate out from the pack as soon as the doors open to the ground floor on the street. “Yeah, how the fuck do you do something like that? I never asked her to follow me to college. She should have had her plans and dreams.”

  “Braxton, she was a rich man’s daughter who never knew a day of work in her life. You were destined to be a working man. It would never have worked out.”

  “Gee, thanks.” He holds the courthouse door open for me and guides me to the fast track line of security. I empty my pockets and remove my belt for the metal detectors. I wait only a few moments, but they end up waving me through and hand me the little basket back quickly: no wanding, no pat down. It’s like herding cattle through the gate posts— orderly but fast.

  I turn around to see him glide through security with the flash of his badge. Lucky asshole. “You know what I mean. Suits, ties and clean fingernails are not your thing,” he whispers under his breath, as he leads us to the stairs.

  “Okay, that sounds better. Anyway, I hear she has a kid now. She’s probably doing well.” He glances at his watch, and it’s a few minutes until court starts. He stops in front of Courtroom 2F. I guess ‘F’ is for fucked.

  “Umm, no. Her husband left her, took all of their money, and she and the kid are living with Judge Henshaw.”

  “Aww, double fuck. Julie’s in fucking trouble. That man hates me and the ground I walk on. Maybe I shouldn’t go in?” He pulls on the large brass handles of the massive walnut doors.

  “You flew two thousand miles to support her and Rowan; you’re going in.” The first face I see is Rowan’s. He jumps over his grandparents’ laps and runs into my arms. We make quite a commotion as Rowan yells “Dad” in his excitement. All eyes are suddenly on us.

  We make our way to the open seating next to Julie’s parents. Trent sits next to her mom, creating a buffer zone, and Rowan sits between Trent and me. Now I have an even bigger buffer zone. Julie turns and smiles at Trent, but doesn’t even glance in my direction. That’s fine, but I know she knows I’m here.

  “All rise for the Honorable Wilbur T. Henshaw,” the bailiff announces to the general assembly. The commotion of a hundred people standing and shifting at once makes a lot of noise.

  Judge Wilbur T. Henshaw still looks like a possum to me. A long, thin nose holds wire-rimmed glasses that hide his small beady eyes. His shoulders are round from hunching over law books all day, no doubt and his legs are tiny compared to the rest of him. His robes swish and drape over a belly that can only be described as portly. His body is very disproportionate—it’s downright odd.

  “Court is now in session,” the bailiff announces as Judge Henshaw takes his seat and opens the folder he brought with him. “You may be seated.”

  He peers up at Julie and pushes his glasses higher onto his nose. His lips tilt slightly into a squeamish smile causing a cold shiver to run down my spine. “Julie Ann Bailey.”

  She stands quickly, scraping the wooden chair legs against the marble floor. “Yes, Sir.” He smiles a little longer this time showing small, almost childlike, teeth. He likes the power title she just
gave him— fifty shades of creepy bastard.

  “You are charged with numerous offenses, but the one that is most concerning to me is child endangerment. I read here that your son was with you during the morning of this incident?”

  “Yes, Sir, he was.”

  “I also read here that you’re out on bail and doing well. Is that right.”

  “Yes, Sir, I am.”

  “Now, I requested his presence in court with you today. Did you follow my instructions, little lady?”

  “Yes, Sir.” Julie turns and motions Rowan to stand with her hands. She blows him a kiss to ease his mind. His big eyes then glance at me for assurance, and I nod. The bailiff walks to the edge of our row and escorts Rowan to the witness chair, and helps him get situated.

  He holds a Bible out and guides him through the general oath to tell the truth. Rowan startles slightly as his voice booms through the microphone. Before he takes his seat, he pushes the microphone away from him in a panic, causing the assembly to laugh. “That’s very loud, Sir,” he tells Judge Henshaw.

  “Yes, it is. I’m sorry about that.” He glances out at the assembly to quiet the laughing and narrows his eyes slightly when he spots me in the crowd. Great.

  “Rowan Thomas Ryder, Sir.” Judge Henshaw quickly glances back at me, narrowing his eyes even further. Here we go.

  “Do you know why we are here today, son?” He removed his glasses and wipes them with the sleeve of his robe.

  “Yes, my mommy is very sick and needs help.” The assembly releases a hushed “Awww” at the sincerity of his words.

  “And what kind of help does your mommy need?” He leans in closer to Rowan, placing his elbows on the wood of the bench that’s slightly above him.

  Rowan hesitates and taps his finger to his pursed lips while he thinks, causing the courtroom to snicker again at his antics. “She needs me...and a good job...and a second chance to learn from her mistakes.” He stands on the chair to get closer to Judge Henshaw’s face and points to the bible saying, “ That there Bible says in Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. I know God has forgiven her because good things are happening. She’s getting better.”

  Rowan jumps down from the chair and quickly sits in it once more. The thought is just coming to him not to stand on furniture, but he stands again and dusts off the dirt on the chair that fell from his shoes. At least he finally remembers his manners.

  “Tell me, Rowan, what do you want to be when you grow up?” He closes the folder that’s in front of him, giving Rowan time to think about his answer, but he doesn’t need time.

  Rowan declares, “I’m going to be a doctor that helps people like my mommy get better!” The Honorable Wilbur T. Henshaw is stunned to silence. What seven year old wants to counsel addicts back to health as a future? There isn’t a dry eye in the room, mine included. Rowan has the heart of a lion and the compassion of a saint.

  The judge dismisses Rowan from the witness stand, and he runs to give Julie a brief hug before retaking his seat next to me.

  “Ms. Bailey,” the judge addresses Julie, and she stands to speak.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “It appears you are doing something right in your life to have established such loyalty amongst your son, and the numerous amount of people you have supporting you in this courtroom. I’m inclined to believe you are a victim of circumstance, and as it seems those circumstances have changed, you are deserving of that second chance your son preaches about. Just mind you that you only get ONE second chance in my courtroom; don’t waste it.”

  “Good luck to you, and to Rowan. He’s a good kid. The child endangerment charge is void. Someone will be in contact with you about your court-appointed rehabilitation program.” Judge Henshaw bangs his gavel and Julie’s attorney ushers us out of the courtroom quickly for the next docket to proceed.

  Everyone gathers in the hallway to congratulate Julie and provide hugs and well-wishes. I stand back out of the way, giving them space to be a family. I’m no longer a part of their inner circle, and it hurts just a bit making me realize what I’m missing.

  Julie leans into Trent, and his arm goes around her in a half-hug but doesn’t drop away any time soon. She keeps touching his arm with the slightest of gestures and smiling up at him shyly. Like a lightning bolt to the head, my jaw drops at the thought of what I’ve been missing right in front of my eyes.

  Trent and Julie are a couple now. When the fuck did that happen? And when are they gonna tell me? My heart races with worry over Rowan and this fragile situation.

  Trent catches my glance over his shoulder as he laughs at something Julie’s mom says. He steps away from them disentangling his arm from around my ex-wife.

  “Hey, we’re all heading over to the Bailey’s for a cookout celebration. Can you join us?”

  “I don’t think they want me there. Nah, I can take a taxi to the airport.”

  “Aw, C'mon, man. Spend some time with your son. I know Rowan would love it.” And speaking of Rowan, he comes running over and hugs my leg tight. Come with us, Dad. I wanna show you how I can ride Miss Tomato. Pleeeeaaassseeeee?”

  I look down at the apparent joy in his eyes and smile. He’s gripping the outer seams of my jeans tight as he begs. How does an absent parent resist that? “Sure. Okay.” I shake my head, and he runs off to his mom. “Oh, boy. Miss Tomato. That old hag of a mare is still kicking, huh? I thought she’d be glue by now.”

  “Well, she’s not far from it. That’s why he’s allowed to ride her; she’s got low speed and no gusto.” Trent and I both laugh.

  I give a long, side-glance over to the family that I walked away from. They’re happy, and Rowan is growing up. It won’t be long before he’s kickin’ horses’ sides and racing the wind. I’m glad he’s got an open field to do so. My playgrounds were all concrete.

  After a beautiful afternoon with my son’s jokes and non-stop laughter, Trent drives me back to the airport. “So, when are you going to tell me about you and Julie?” I watch him swallow hard at my words.

  “I wanted to tell you from the first moment I showed up a month ago to check on her, but she fought me for a week or two.” A faint smile appears on his lips. “I intended to check on them and make sure they were doing all right. Then I finally got her talking about hopes, dreams, and a future....and I got hooked on her words. That was it. Every few days turned into every day.”

  “She lit up like sunshine when you walked into the courtroom. I know you’re making her happy, but I’m worried about Rowan. I was going to take him away from all this. Now I don’t know what to do.” I stare out at the wildflowers growing along the highway.

  “That’s for you to decide, and I understand exactly where you’re coming from. I’d have planned for the same thing, but I’m here to tell you I’m not going anywhere. I don’t know exactly how bad it’s been, but it’s a thousand percent better now than it was. I aim for that to continue, and for those odds to get even better.”

  “Alright. I’ve got some thinking to do.” He pulls into passenger drop-off and takes my one single bag out of the trunk. His jaw clenches tight with unspoken words on his tongue. “Man, we’re good. I don’t believe in that ‘you need my permission to date my ex-wife’ bullshit.” He smiles and punches my bull rope arm.

  “Damn. That’s what it feels like to hit a brick wall.” He shakes his hand out, flexing it, making sure it still works properly after hitting me. “You do what you need to do. As I said, I’m not going to hurt them. That’s the last thing I’ll ever do.” I give him a quick hug and pat on the shoulder, before slinging my bag over it and heading back to Noa.

  Noa. It’s been fourteen hours, and I miss her badly. She’s my sunset on a long ass day.

  Chapter 17 – Noa

  “ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY. We’re going to get down on the ground for a while. Sit with your legs underneath you, as a child. This is called Virasana, or Hero’s Pose. You want to cross your ankl
es under your buttocks. Sit back over your feet and put your buttocks on the ground.”

  Everyone seems to be surviving their first yoga class. I can’t believe I had eight people sign up. And actually, show up; not to mention Wes. He’s the one that surprises me the most.

  “Feel those muscles stretching. Breathe deeply. In. Then out.” Heavy breathes are panting behind me, but they haven’t given up or passed out. They’re going great.

  “C’mon. I hear those internal groans. Give me ten more seconds.” I open my eyes and see a couple of really red faces. “And four, three, two, and one. Great job, everyone. Now tuck your feet back under your buttocks. That will take some of the pressure off your knees. We’re going to stretch forward into Balasana, or Child’s Pose.”

  I tilt my head sideways and keep a watchful eye on my students. They’re going to be sore tomorrow, but each new stretch will bring them more energy. “You’re going to feel great later. Much later, but eventually, it will become easier if you keep this new practice up.”

  I hear glass packs rattling behind me somewhere in the distance. Just knowing that Braxton is back, makes me want to jump up and run to him. Slow down, girl. He’s only been gone fourteen hours. Yeah, fourteen hours, twenty-two minutes and if I had a second hand, I could count them ticking away.

  “Alright, everyone. Well done. I’m proud of you and you should be too. Let’s take a few minutes to re-center our minds. Get into a comfortable position. You can sit or lay down; it’s your choice. Just close your eyes, and think of a beautiful beach. The waves are rolling in at your feet, and the water is warm.”

  “Okay, can we stop that image right there?” Imogene begs. “You’re gonna make me have to pee.”

  The whole crowd laughs. “Well, there’s an image. Alright, Imogene. You’re in a meadow with butterflies dancing all around you. The sun is warm, and a slight breeze is blowing. You can smell the Sweet Peas that are growing wild.”