Forever Broken

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  As soon as he closed the door behind him, he slunk down the wall next to it, his ass hitting the floor with a pang as he tried to calm his breathing. He looked down at the stone gripped in his fist, his arm shaking, and held back a growl.

  He couldn’t let his men see him like this, couldn’t let them hear him when he was in pain.

  This damn artifact took too much power. The only reason he was still standing was because he’d taken the strength of those two wolves he’d killed in front of the Talons. Without that, he knew he’d be in far worse shape than he was.

  From what he’d discovered in his research, he should have been able to thrive on the energy he’d taken from Gideon, even if he had to give it back. Using the artifact shouldn’t have taken a toll on Blade at all.

  It was as if something were blocking him from the power.

  He was supposed to be able to siphon the energy from whoever he pointed the artifact at and take it into himself. That was what the intel said. Not that he’d done most of the research himself. Scarlett, his dead witch, and he had done some of it together, but he had outsourced the rest.

  Those wolves were now dead, just like the fire witch who had gotten too close.

  He refused to share the power, and that meant those who knew too much had to go.

  But now he was afraid that he’d missed something, or his people had. Blade wouldn’t have made a mistake, not with something of this magnitude. Someone else must have missed something.

  Because whoever or whatever was blocking Blade from the true power needed to be taken care of.

  He squeezed the artifact tighter.

  No matter what.

  Chapter Eight

  Cheyenne stared down at her hands, opening and closing her fists as if she could wash away the blood. The blood that wasn’t actually there because the two who had died in her and Max’s arms hadn’t bled.

  She didn’t know how her life had become this. How she could look at her hands and see blood when it wasn’t there. She wasn’t Lady Macbeth, or whatever classic Shakespearean play that had been from. She had never been good with those types of classes. She was a scientist, the one who looked at biology and chemistry and salivated. Trying to read books that didn’t make any sense to her in a language that didn’t feel like it was real had never been her favorite. She loved to read, but not stories from Shakespeare. Or were they called plays?

  And now she was sitting and trying to think about Shakespeare and plays and everything that had to do with nothing so she didn’t have to think about the blood on her hands.

  The blood that wasn’t there.

  She was a vet, had had countless animals bleed on her, some had died, others had lived. She wasn’t new to the idea of death and pain. And yet seeing those men die in her arms, without a single drop of blood being shed, was almost more than she could bear.

  How could Blade have done that so easily?

  From what she knew of the Aspen Alpha, from what she had seen, she realized he was evil. But to take the lives of two souls so sweet and pure like he had was almost unbearable. Because even though she hadn’t known those two men who died in her and Max’s arms, she knew they had been precious. The bonds that tied her to the Talon Pack meant something.

  They had to mean something.

  She might not be a wolf, might only be newly indoctrinated into the Pack and into this idea of being connected to Max, but she knew what a submissive wolf was. She knew their worth, and what it meant to be on that dominance level of the hierarchy within the Pack. The Talons treated submissives with such love and affection and did their best to show those wolves their true worth. And the submissive wolves did the same when it came to the dominants.

  Cheyenne might not know every single aspect of what was needed to be a wolf in the Talon Pack, but she knew to treat the submissives with care and compassion.

  And Blade had taken their souls, had killed them without raising a hand, except for to squeeze the stone harder.

  He had done all of that without blinking.

  And now, two men were dead, and Cheyenne sat on Max’s couch, staring at her hands, wondering what would happen next.

  Because something would happen next. It always did. There would be pain. There would be death. And there would be change.

  And she needed to figure out where she would end up when it all happened.

  It still wasn’t fair to her that this was her life, but that wasn’t the true unfairness of the situation.

  What was unfair, was that she had to somehow figure out how to take the next step when it came to this Pack and the man who she knew was in the house with her but had given her space to try and figure out her thoughts.

  The meeting had stopped abruptly once Blade went off-screen while they were in the Pack circle. It had actually ended before that when Gideon said to think about what the artifact could do and whether they had seen it in the past. But as soon as those two wolves died, men Cheyenne couldn’t even call by name, everything had changed.

  She kept saying that. That things were changing, and she would have to figure out what that meant.

  And sitting here staring at the blood on her hands, the blood that wasn’t really there, just meant that she was doing nothing. She was wallowing in her grief, heartache for a life she had lost, and for two men she didn’t know. Grief for the peace she’d thought maybe the Talons could find even in the depths of war and frustration.

  And then again, she looked down at her hands, this time only seeing the pale flesh. A physician’s hands, a doctor for those in need, those who couldn’t put voice to their pains and hurts.

  These hands should help.

  And yet they had only held death that day.

  Her blood had opened up that artifact. Without her blood, without her sacrifice, maybe those men would still be alive.

  “You need to stop looking down at yourself and thinking those thoughts.”

  Cheyenne looked up at Max as he stalked into the room, a glower on his face.

  “What are you talking about?”

  Max lifted a brow before leaning against the wall in front of the hallway. He was still in the living room, but he was giving her enough space so she could think. It was always hard to think when Max was around. And, honestly, it was hard to even comprehend that because it hadn’t been that way before. Before the bond, before the forced mating, she had been able to be near Max and not feel like she was drowning in emotion, grief, relief, and everything in between.

  “I know we’re still trying to figure out who we are, but I know you, Cheyenne. I know you’re blaming yourself for not being able to help those men. But none of us were able to help them. And all we can do now is mourn Tony and Jason and then fight for their sacrifice.”

  “I hate the idea of it being called a sacrifice. They didn’t offer themselves up for it. Instead, Blade chose them for some reason. Why did he choose them?”

  Max shook his head before pushing off the wall and taking a seat on the coffee table in front of her. He was so close, she could scent him. The fact that she could smell him when she knew he wasn’t wearing cologne probably should have worried her. But everything was so out of focus for her right then, it wasn’t as if she could really think about how things had been before between them. Or even how things were before when it came to herself.

  “He chose them because he thought they were weak. They were the weakest submissives that we had, but that did not make them weak.”

  “I know. I see the way Brie acts around the others. And I truly see the way they react around her. She’s amazing. She’s submissive. And she’s so strong. Those men did not deserve to die. None of the wolves in this den deserve to die, but for some reason, I feel like saying especially those men.”

  Max reached out and traced patterns on Cheyenne’s knee. She sucked in a breath, aware that he was so close, mindful that something was changing between them, but also conscious of the fact that they needed to talk about many things, not just what was happe
ning between them.

  “Those two men had their own strengths. And Blade chose them for his own reasons. But it could’ve been quite simply…they were the easiest to get to. The easiest to connect with. Blade isn’t part of the Talon Pack. He isn’t part of anything having to do with us other than our enemy. And I think that should scare us more than anything.”

  Cheyenne didn’t reach out and touch Max, but she did soak in his warmth. “You think that if he can connect to two wolves within the Talon Pack, as well as Gideon, he can do it to any Pack.”

  She hadn’t asked it as a question, but Max answered anyway.

  “Yes. I think the artifact allows him to do that. And I don’t think it was supposed to do that. But he’s tainted it, somehow bastardized it into what it is now. And I think it’s only the beginning. He’s going to use the weak, the innocent, in order to make Gideon do what he needs him to do. And he’s going to do the same with Cole and the Central Pack, and Kade and the Redwoods. There will be nothing he can do about it. My cousin, that is. Gideon is going to hate himself. My Alpha is going to hate himself.”

  Cheyenne shook her head, and this time reached out to grab Max’s other arm. And because that was the arm without the lower half, he froze. It was the first time she had reached out and touched him like that, but if they were going to figure out what this new thing was between them, he would have to get used to it. She would have to get used to it.

  “I think your brother, your cousins, and all the other Alphas, are going to stand strong. But I think we’ll lose people in the end, and that scares me more than anything. I keep looking down at my hands and seeing blood that isn’t there. And it scares me. Because I’m just a human, a human connected to all of this, and there’s nothing I can do. Blade already tried to kill me once. He would have succeeded if it wasn’t for you and the moon goddess.”

  “I could kill him for that. Kill him just for that. But he deserves to die for so many other things.” Max growled out the words, and though that should have scared her, it didn’t. It just made her feel stronger. It made the connection between them more intense.

  After the Pack meeting had fizzled, others had come to take away the bodies, and Cheyenne knew their families would deal with what happened next, and the Brentwoods would help with the services. She also knew that everyone else who actually had a position and title in the Pack had a job to do. The children would be taken care of, and the rest of the Brentwoods each had a role. And, somehow, she and Max had been left out. Somehow, the two of them had been sent off alone to Max’s home, to the house she was now staying at for however long, and neither of them had a job to do. That meant they had all the time in the world to think about their faults and the fact that they weren’t strong enough to get anything done.

  At least she felt she wasn’t strong enough. She knew that Max was far stronger than she could ever hope to be. And probably stronger than he thought he was.

  “You’re thinking too hard again, and it’s giving you a little line between your brows right here.” Max reached out and brushed his finger down her forehead, and she reared back. He froze and looked at her with wide eyes. She hated the pain she saw there before he masked it.

  So, she reached out and gripped his hand. “I’m sorry, you just startled me. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I don’t know what to do when it comes to you, but then again, I don’t know what to do when it comes to anyone else either.” Max let out a breath. The two of them didn’t touch each other, but they were close enough that she could feel the heat of him. “We’re sitting here alone in my house because we don’t have a job to do. I could go out on patrol, but I don’t want to leave you alone.”

  Cheyenne scowled. “I don’t need a keeper.”

  “I know you don’t need a keeper, but I also know that this is all hard for you. And, frankly, we have to talk about the giant wolf in the room.”

  Cheyenne snorted. “Wolf? I thought it was an elephant.”

  “I prefer to think of just wolves. Or, I guess cats now that Aimee’s one of them.”

  Cheyenne shook her head. “And by giant wolf in the room, do you mean the fact that we’re mated and haven’t really talked about it? Or the fact that I have no idea why I can sometimes feel what you’re feeling, or at least have a really strong reaction to the fact that you must be feeling something? Because it’s starting to freak me out.”

  Max reached out and cupped her face with his hand, surprising her.

  “That would be the wolf I’m talking about.”

  She froze, not knowing what to do when he was so near. Then again, she never knew what to do when he was close. She hated that. Hated feeling that she was so far out of her depth that she was making mistake after mistake.

  He pulled away even farther, and she tried not to miss him. He looked over her shoulder, and from the way his eyes focused on nothing, she knew he was thinking and not actually pulling away from her the way she thought he might be.

  “The others are working on what they need to do in order to keep the Pack safe.”

  She might have thought he was changing the subject, but since her thoughts had been on a similar path as his before, she nodded.

  “And you want to be with them.”

  He shook his head, meeting her gaze. “I’m not part of the hierarchy. Not really. I’m a council member, but that’s in title only these days with our treaty with the Redwoods sealed in blood and mating at this point. I go where the others need me.” He let out a breath. “And I think they need me to help with this.”

  “What’s this?”

  “You. The artifact. The connections. Because there was something there, Cheyenne.”

  She nodded, her hands shaking. “I know. I don’t know what to think about it, but it was scary. I’ve never felt that way before, not even when Blade stabbed me and left me for dead.”

  This time, Max’s growl rumbled so loudly, she could feel it in her chest.

  “You and I are going to figure it out together. I know you don’t like standing still, and, frankly, I don’t either. So, we’re going to do all the research we can on this artifact, and we’re going to see how you’re connected so we can make it stop. I won’t lose you, Cheyenne.” He paused. “Not when I just found you.”

  She froze again. “I…I’ll help. But, Max?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know why I couldn’t sense you were mine, or that you could be mine before the moon goddess changed it all. Maybe it’s because of what happened on the battlefield. Maybe it’s because of everything else going on within the Pack, but I can feel you now, Cheyenne. I can feel you in my soul.”

  He placed his hand over his heart, and she swallowed hard.

  “I don’t know what’s going to happen, Max. But this is permanent, isn’t it? There’s no going back, even if we aren’t the ones who took the steps to begin with.”

  “We can try to make it easier for you,” he said, his voice oddly calm. “We can separate and ease the ache between us and the bond. If you want nothing to do with this, I can make it happen. But the bond is always going to be there. I’ve only heard of one bond breaking, and it almost killed everyone involved, and it required dark magic to even get there at all. So, no, I can’t break the bond, but I can try to stay away.”

  Cheyenne didn’t know why she hurt like this, why she never wanted to hear those words again. She might not have chosen this, but it was her life now. She wouldn’t walk away.

  And when it came to Max, she wasn’t sure she could.

  So, she did the only thing she could do.

  She leaned forward and kissed him.

  He didn’t move for a moment as if surprised, then he leaned forward and deepened the kiss. He tasted of coffee and Max, and she wanted more. Craved more.

  When she pulled back to breathe, she rested her forehead on his. “There’s no going back, Max.”

  “Then do you want to make it official?” he asked, his wolf in his voice. “We’re starting fro
m the wrong direction, but we can make this ours. Then figure out the rest along the way.”

  In answer, she kissed him again, taking a chance on a fate she’d never known she wanted to take, but then again, her life up until this point hadn’t been as normal as she’d thought it was either.

  Max was hers, and she’d figure out what came next.

  In his arms, with her mouth on his.

  One breath at a time.

  Max cupped her face, and she went to her toes, wanting more, wanting his mouth. This wasn’t about walking away from him and what could be. This was about walking toward it.

  “You taste like bliss,” he whispered, and she moaned. Then he moved his hand down to her side before reaching around to lift her off her feet. She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist, keeping her mouth on his.

  He carried her to the bedroom and set her on the edge of the bed. He hovered over her, his lips soft and gentle as they explored each other with kisses.

  “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice a shuddering whisper that sent shivers down her spine.

  “I’m sure.”

  Then, they were taking off their clothes, pulling up their shirts, and slowly working together until he stood before her completely naked and bare. He was so beautiful—lean muscle that begged for her hands.

  She couldn’t help but lower her gaze to below his waist, her eyes widening. He was long, thick, and growing before her eyes.

  She swallowed hard and, before she could wonder if he would actually fit, he moved forward and kissed her again. This time, his hand gently cupped her breast and plucked at her nipple.

  His tongue worked magic on her mouth as he moved from breast to breast, nipple to nipple. Shocks of sensation covered her body, and she writhed on the edge of the bed, spreading her legs wider. He moved closer to her, his cock hard and firm against her wet heat. But he didn’t press, didn’t move more than to keep kissing her.

  Then, before she could beg for him to be inside her, he went to his knees.