Love & Secrets
Page 13
Driving through the streets, he parked near Charlotte’s office, then tossed his keys into the air as he hurried down the sidewalk.
“Hi Nancy. Is she free?”
Nancy’s mouth had just opened when Charlotte’s office door burst open. There she was, her eyes wide. A fraction of a second later, she threw herself into his arms, almost choking him as she hugged him close. Oz held her steady, running his hands up and down her back. “I’m okay, honey. I’m fine.”
“You were gone for so long!” she whispered into his neck.
He chuckled softly, burying his nose into her honey-scented hair. “I know, honey. But I’m back now.”
She pulled out of his arms, her hands sliding up and down his arms, stomach, and chest. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt anywhere, are you?”
He shook his head, grabbing her hands before she discovered just how much he liked her touching him that way. Unfortunately, they weren’t alone. Nancy and the couple in her office were watching, fascinated but Oz didn’t want an audience when Charlotte touched him after six days without her.
“Oz!” she sighed, closing her eyes and pulling him close again.
Oz held her for a long moment, absorbing her scent and enjoying her soft curves pressed against him once more. It had been way too long, he thought.
All too soon, Charlotte stepped back, pushing against his shoulders and stepping out of his arms. He watched as she pulled herself together, straightening her cute sweater and pulling her skirt back down over her hips. “Yes. You’re back. But…” she glanced at Nancy, then back at her office door where the couple she’d been counseling were standing with odd smiles. “Right. You’re back. But Oz, I can’t see you anymore.”
Not see each other? What the hell?! “Charlotte, I…”
She lifted her hands, stopping his explanation. “I know that you can’t tell me where you were or that you were doing. But I can’t be in a relationship in which there are secrets. I’ve done that. Secrets are toxic. And since you have a lot of them, then we just…well, I can’t…”
The tears in her eyes stopped her from continuing.
“Although, I’m truly relieved that you’re back, Oz,” she choked out, wiping a tear from her eyes. With one more look, she turned and walked back into her office, closing the door firmly.
Oz stared at the closed door, not sure what to say.
He turned and looked at Nancy. “Has she been okay?”
Nancy shook her head. “She’s been a mess. One moment, she’s asking if you’d called and the next, she’s telling me not to answer if you do.”
Oz sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay. I get it. Tell her that I’ll talk to her tonight. I know that she has patients, so I won’t bother her during the day.”
“I’ll let her know,” Nancy sighed.
Oz drove back to the office, his body throbbing so hard from Charlotte’s embrace, he wondered if he was walking funny. He wanted to tell her where he’d been, what he’d done but…he couldn’t. It would put her in danger and that’s something he absolutely wouldn’t do!
“I thought you went to see Charlotte?” Carly asked, passing by him in the lobby.
“I need to check on Betty,” he said, stopping as if he’d just realized something, then turning right around and heading back out. He drove to Jayce’s house, where Betty always stayed while he was gone. He’d wanted to ask Charlotte to take care of his canine friend, but he knew that Bart went to work with her most days and he didn’t want Betty to be in the way. Betty wasn’t trained as a therapy dog and might have been more of a hindrance.
Walking into Jayce’s place a few minutes later, he whistled for her and…Betty came racing around the corner, her paws sliding on the slick, hardwood floors. “Hey girl!” Oz called out, bending down to greet her. Betty was delirious with happiness at the sight of him, but Oz knew that Jayce had spoiled her over the past several days. His brother really needed a dog of his own, but stubbornly refused to accept that he was settled. One just had to look at the restored Victorian house that Jayce had bought, refinishing all of the features himself, including the hardwood floors. The guy was more settled than he’d like to admit.
“Jayce?” a female voice called out.
Oz walked to the back of the house where a beautiful brunette was holding a plate of something. “Oh!” she gasped when Oz stepped into the kitchen. “Um…” she looked around, obviously feeling awkward. “I’m looking for Jayce,” she explained softly. “I saw movement and thought he’d come home early.”
Oz figured that out. “He’s still at the office.” Oz stood there, trying to figure out who she was. Jayce hadn’t mentioned anything about a woman in his life. Especially not a woman who had not just the keys to his house, but also the passcode to deactivate the security system. “Can I help you?” he asked, thinking to get a bit more information about this mystery woman.
The pretty brunette backed up nervously, shaking her head. “No. Um…No, that’s okay. I’ll just come back later.”
The mystery woman turned and started to leave but Oz called out, “Is that for Jayce? I’m his brother. I can give it to him.”
She glanced down at the plate in her hands, seeming to have forgotten that she was carrying something. Whatever was on the plate was covered in foil so Oz couldn’t see it. Darn!
“No!” she gasped, stepping back, pulling the plate closer as if it were the crown jewels. “I’ll just come back later.”
With that, she turned on her heel and hurried down the steps of the stone patio Jayce had just finished a few weeks ago. Oz moved over to the window and watched, noticing that the lovely woman went into the house next door. It was smaller than Jayce’s place, another of the old Victorians that had been built over a century ago. She was cute, Oz thought. Nothing like the women Jayce usually dated. Although, to be honest, Jayce didn’t date. He loved women, but dating would be too strong of a definition for what Jayce enjoyed with the women who drifted in and out of his life.
Although…now that Oz thought about it, Jayce hadn’t been doing much socializing lately. Every time Oz came around, Jayce was here, doing something in his house.
Interesting, he thought.
Betty whined at his feet and Oz looked down. “You ready to go home, girl?” he asked, ruffling her ears. Instantly, Betty jumped, dancing with excitement.
“You need a haircut, little lady.”
Betty was unconcerned by the threat, running to the front door and wagging her tail in anticipation, glancing behind her to make sure that Oz was following. “I’m coming,” he laughed and pulled open the front door, making sure that it locked behind him, and hitting the button to activate the security system. Betty raced ahead, dancing at the door to his SUV, but Oz glanced over one more time to the neighbor’s house. There was no sign of life there, but he made a mental note to ask Jayce about the woman. And to mention her to Carly. If Jayce was seeing someone and not telling them, Carly would take the lead in tormenting their sibling.
It was only fair, he thought as he opened the driver’s door and stepped back to let Betty jump in.
But as soon as he hit the road, his thoughts turned to Charlotte. Her explanation confused him. What the hell had she said? That she couldn’t handle secrets. Right. Secrets. She thought he kept secrets from her but…well, he was. There was no getting around that fact. He kept a lot of secrets. Not maliciously though. Surely, she understood that?
Probably not. Because he couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t explain anything because he wouldn’t lie to her. And he couldn’t tell her the truth. So what the hell was he supposed to do?
“Damn it!” he muttered, wanting to punch something. Frustration was eating at him and he’d never experienced this kind of frustration before. One thing was absolutely certain; he wasn’t going to go through life without her! That was for damn sure!
Somehow, he’d have to figure out what to do, how to explain that…that…He’d just have to get her to understand that he coul
dn’t explain certain things about his job.
But was that fair? His job required him to go out of town, out of the country usually, on a moment’s notice. That wasn’t fair to Charlotte. A week ago, he’d been imagining a long, wonderful life with her - kids, marriage, sharing a home, all of the normal things that normal couples did. But how could he share his life with her when…well, when he couldn’t share his work with her?
Never having been in a situation where he wanted to explain, he’d never taken the time to figure out HOW to explain. He’d simply gone through life, doing what he did best, and never really thinking about the future. Other than ensuring that Carly was safe and putting money away for his future nieces or nephews, Oz had lived his life as if there wasn’t a tomorrow. Because in his line of work, there was never a guarantee that he would be alive tomorrow.
Betty sensed his dark mood because she crept closer to him, reaching out to tentatively lick his hand. He reached over and ran his fingers through her thick, crazy hair while he kept his eyes on the road, driving straight home.
Once inside his house, he looked around, trying to figure out what to do. Or if there was anything he could do! “Hell!” he muttered.
Chapter 17
Charlotte stepped into her house but didn’t turn on the lights. Lifting her hand to turn on lights took too much energy and she just…she couldn’t do it. Instead, she walked over to the fridge and peered inside. Unfortunately, nothing inside of that area looked appealing. Flipping the door closed, she sighed and filled up Bart’s food bowl. Then she walked into her dark living room and curled up on the sofa. She could hear Bart wolfing down his dinner, but couldn’t stir herself enough to go in and clean up the mess he inevitably made.
Six days without Oz and now he was so close. She could walk to his house and beg him to…
No! No begging. Secrets had destroyed her first marriage. And already, the intensity of her feelings for Oz were stronger than anything she’d ever felt for Darrin throughout their marriage. She’d been disappointed when she’d discovered her ex-husband’s cheating and lies. But this…this pain was beyond anything she’d experience either during or after her divorce.
A few minutes later, Bart trotted in, putting his head against the couch right by her head. “Come on, boy,” she said, patting the cushion beside her.
He glanced over at the door, then back up at Charlotte. “I know how you feel, honey,” she told him. “I know.”
Bart looked over at the doorway, still confused as to why he didn’t get to go see his lady love. “We need to learn to live without them, honey.”
Bart sighed and jumped up onto the cushion, snuggling close to her. Several sighs later, he rested his head on his paws, giving up on trying to see his girlfriend.
Charlotte continued to pet him and he eventually settled down. But her heart ached and she wasn’t sure how to deal with this kind of pain. Before he’d come back, she’d been worried. But now…this wasn’t worry. This was a deep, dreadful sadness that she wasn’t sure how to handle. She loved Oz. Now that he wasn’t here, in her house and in her life, she could admit that she loved him. She loved his smile and his arrogance, the teasing way he looked at her. She loved the way he cooked and took care of her and the way he made love to her as if she were something precious.
Charlotte fell asleep like that, not even taking off her clothes. She was just too tired to bother.
Chapter 18
This had to stop! Charlotte slapped the file closed on her desk and turned around, glaring out the window. She was messing up and, in her job, that wasn’t permitted!
A headache crept up on her and she turned back to her desk, looking for the bottle of pain relievers that she’d kept in a drawer. But it wasn’t in the top drawer where she thought it would be. Two weeks! She’d been without Oz for two solid weeks! Two weeks without his smiles or his laughter. Two weeks without his strong arms around her, holding her close. She ached everywhere and her eyes were sore from crying. Nancy tiptoed around, wary of disturbing Charlotte, and her patients were giving her worried looks. Even Bart was worried about her. Or about Betty. Either way, this had to stop!
“Where’s my damn Tylenol!” she snapped, slamming the drawer closed on her desk. When she realized what she was doing, Charlotte stopped, putting her head on her raised hands.
“You look like hell,” a female voice announced.
Charlotte lifted her head gently, staring at the latest intruder. “Carly? What are you doing here?”
The other woman sighed and closed the door, shaking her head. “I promised you that we were going to be friends. And I don’t abandon my friends, especially when they’re down.”
Charlotte was confused. “But…you also said you’d hurt me if I did anything to hurt Oz.”
Carly sat down in the chair on the other side of Charlotte’s desk. “Well, looking at you, it seems as if you’re doing a good enough job of that yourself.” She leaned forward and grabbed the bottle of painkillers hidden behind Charlotte’s monitor. “Looking for these?” she asked.
“Yes!” she breathed, taking the bottle. She didn’t even bother with water this time, just popping the tablets into her mouth and throwing back her head to swallow.
“Okay, so tell me what’s going on,” Carly commanded. “You won’t go out to lunch with me and now I find you hiding in your office.”
“I’m not hiding,” Charlotte countered weakly, but knew that her words were a lie and sank further down in her chair.
Carly waved Charlotte’s words away with a dismissive flick of her fingers. “You’re hiding. And you look horrible. Beautiful, of course, but horrible.”
“Thanks,” Charlotte grumbled.
Carly laughed. “Oz looks worse, if that’s any consolation.”
Charlotte’s eyes closed as a new wave of pain hit her. “It doesn’t,” she whispered, biting her lip to keep herself from bursting into tears. “Can I…” she stopped, not finishing her thought.
Carly’s voice softened and she leaned forward slightly. “You can tell me what happened. I thought you guys were crazy about each other.”
Charlotte nodded. “I was. I am,” she corrected.
“So…what’s the problem? I think he feels the same way, and that’s pretty shocking because I never thought my oldest brother would fall in love.”
Charlotte grabbed a tissue. “He’s not in love with me.”
“Oh yes, he is!” Carly scoffed. “And the worst part of that is that I can’t torture him about it. So what gives? What happened to make both of you so miserable?”
Charlotte tossed the tissue into the trashcan, which was already full of tissues. When she turned back to Carly, she folded her hands on her stomach. “Secrets.”
Carly nodded, apparently grasping the details of the problem out of that one word. “Okay, so you don’t like his job. But, you have to understand that he doesn’t keep secrets to hide anything from you.”
That gave her pause and Charlotte tossed the comment around in her head. He didn’t keep secrets to hide something from her? But…? What did that mean? And in the grand scheme of things…? She was too tired to figure out the grand scheme of her life. “Does it matter?” Charlotte challenged weakly. She didn’t even have the energy to talk anymore.
Carly thought about it for a moment, her head tilting slightly, the afternoon sunshine glinting off her dark tresses. “I think there’s a huge difference between secrets and trust.”
Was there? Could she trust someone who kept secrets from her? “No. The two are intertwined.”
Carly’s green eyes sparkled as she watched Charlotte carefully. “Are they?”
“You can’t keep secrets and still have trust between two people.”
“I disagree,” the vibrant beauty challenged.
Charlotte sighed, her head bowing slightly. “My ex-husband cheated on me. With a lot of women.” She blinked back a new wave of tears. “He tried to convince me that the other women meant nothing. That he j
ust…needed sex. All the time. He loved sex and I wasn’t available to fulfill his needs. He said that he’d get therapy and we could work things out. But after all of the lying and secrets, I just couldn’t trust him again.”
Carly snorted, an inelegant sound coming from a very elegant woman. “You’re comparing a cheating ex-husband with Oz? I don’t think that the two are in the same league!”
Charlotte nodded. “I can see why you would say that about your brother. But…”
Carly leaned forward a bit more. “No, you don’t understand. Oz would never lie or cheat on you, Charlotte. In fact, I suspect that the only reason he won’t tell you anything about what he does for a living is to protect you.”
“Protect me?” Her mouth fell open in shock. “But…he builds security systems for companies. He protects people!”
Carly rolled her eyes. “Charlotte, he protects governments! He doesn’t just build security systems for buildings. My boys build and train militaries! He plays poker with bankers and world leaders because they are his friends and clients.” She laughed softly. “Honey, he does things that he can’t talk about, but not because he’s trying to hide them from you.”
Charlotte listened, her heart breaking even more. “He…he does dangerous things?”
Carly nodded slowly. “Yes. He does. But he’s extremely good at what he does, Charlotte. He, Ryker, and Jayce are the best. If there’s a problem in the world, leaders call on my guys to fix it. We have teams all over the world doing things that…well, I can’t discuss what they are actually doing. Does that mean you can’t trust me?”
Charlotte pulled back. “Of course I trust you.”
Her friend smiled. “See? There’s a difference between secrets and trust. I can have secrets, things I can’t tell you, but you trust me. So…maybe it isn’t that you don’t trust Oz. But that what you feel for him is so strong, it scares you and you’re trying to find a reason to jump before you get hurt again?”