“Mac?” A familiar voice catches my attention. “Are you alright?”
“Hurts.” It’s not everything I want to say, but it’s enough.
The light in the room flicks off and I’m finally able to open my eyes. Ivy is standing at my bedside, but Colton is nowhere to be found. I blink as I look around, taking in my surroundings. When I look back up at my best friend, it’s like she can read my thoughts.
“I sent him home. I had to call Parker and I didn’t think you’d want him to find Colton here with you.”
A huge part of me wishes she didn’t do that, but deep down, I know she’s right. Still, I need to talk to him – let him know I’m alright. I look over and find my phone on the table beside me. When I go to reach for it though, Ivy stops me.
“You can’t keep doing this, Mac. Sneaking around with Colton and living with Parker.”
My eyebrows furrow. “Uh, do you not remember whose idea this was in the first place?”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Yeah, I know, but that was when I thought you were only doing it to help make a decision. It’s been almost two months and you’re yet to do that.” I go to cut her off but she raises one finger. “If you want to be with Colton, by all means, be with him. But if you still plan on marrying Parker, you need to stop all this. It’s time to decide. You can’t have them both.”
21
MCKENNA
For the past few days, Ivy’s words have played on repeat throughout my mind. I know she’s right. I’d be an idiot not to acknowledge that. It shouldn’t have taken a blow to the head and three staples in order for me to see it. I’ve been playing a dangerous game of relationship roulette. The fight Colton got into the other night showed me a side of him I haven’t seen in years. His brawling tendencies aren’t new to me. He was known to get in quite a few fights during high school and the beginning of college. There just haven’t been many I’ve seen first-hand – and I’ve never been hurt in the process.
None of what happened was intentional. I know Colton well enough to know how badly he feels about it. And even if I didn’t, the 15 voicemails, 27 text messages, and box of chocolate covered strawberries sent to my house were enough to tell me. A huge part of me would love to go to him – tell him everything is going to be okay and hold him close to assure him of it – but I can’t. I have way too much to think about.
I throw myself backward on Tatum and Maverick’s couch, groaning to myself as I try to figure out what the hell I’m going to do. The only reason I came here is because I know Colton and Maverick are both at work. Usually I’d go to Ivy’s, but lately she’s been looking at me like the choice should be obvious. She likes Parker, don’t get me wrong, but she firmly believes that if I was meant to be with him, that Colton wouldn’t have ever been an option in my mind. She might be right, but having feelings for someone else doesn’t mean my feelings for Parker don’t exist.
Taking one of the throw pillows, I put it over my face and scream. I’ve never been pulled in so many different directions before. It’s absolutely infuriating. Maybe I’d be better off choosing no one. I could be single, become a nun. Yeah, right. As if that would ever happen.
“You’re adorable when you’re frustrated.” Tatum quips.
I pull the pillow from my face and throw it at her, hitting my target. “Tell me what to do.”
“Why? So that you can blame me forever if I choose wrong? Nope. No thank you. Not going to happen.”
My bottom lip juts out in a pout. “Some friend you are.”
She shrugs. “Sorry babe. I tried telling you what to do when this whole mess started. You didn’t listen to me.”
It’s not like she’s wrong – she isn’t. However, there’s not a single part of me that regrets getting involved with Colton this summer. He’s wild, and spontaneous, and makes me feel alive in a way I haven’t felt in years. It’s exhilarating as hell. But Parker… Parker is my safe space. He’s the one that I know will always be there to listen, or even just to hold me when I don’t really want to talk. My head says to choose Parker, but my heart isn’t hearing it. It’s too busy beating for Colton.
“That’s it. I’m joining the monastery.”
Tatum snorts. “They wouldn’t take you.”
“Why the fuck not?!”
She looks at me knowingly. “Well, for one, you have the mouth of a sailor.” I chuckle softly and flip her off. “Besides, with the way you and Colton have been going at it lately, you wouldn’t last a week.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“I know I am, and that’s not even including the times you’ve had sex with Parker. Getting it from two different men – is it wrong that I’m kinda jealous?”
I look down and fiddle with the pillow in my lap. “Uh, I’m- I’m not.”
“Come again?”
Gritting my teeth together, I take a deep breath. “I haven’t had sex with Parker. Not in the last couple months anyway.”
Her jaw is practically on the floor as she stares at me. “He hasn’t tried?”
“No, he has. I’ve just always been able to get out of it. I’ve faked more headaches than I’d like to admit.”
She smirks. “Well in that case, I think you’ve already made your choice.”
To my relief, nothing else is said on the topic. However, that doesn’t stop my head from spinning over the whole thing. Ivy was right, I need to choose. Stringing them along isn’t fair, and if I don’t decide soon, it could all go up in flames. I may even end up losing them both.
I WAKE TO A light kiss on my forehead. My eyes open to find Colton standing in front of me. I must’ve fallen asleep on the couch while Tatum and I watched Mean Girls. There’s just something refreshing about watching someone else’s drama. I sit up and rub my eyes with the back of my hand.
“Where’s Tatum?”
He sits down beside me. “Her and Maverick went to pick up dinner. She said to let you sleep.”
My eyebrows furrow. “You listen so well.”
“Yeah.” He snickers. “Could you blame me though? You’ve been avoiding me again for nearly a week. Then I come home to find you on my couch.”
“Maverick’s couch.”
“McKenna.” His authoritative tone tells me I’m not going to get out of discussing this. “Why haven’t you answered me? I’ve been worried about you.”
I sigh. “I’m sorry. I’ve had a lot on my mind and an almost constant headache. Plus, I’ve really needed to get my lesson plans done.”
“So, you’re not running away from me?”
“No.” Not yet, at least.
For the first time since this conversation started, he smiles. His arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me into his side. I go willingly, basking in the comfort his hold brings. He places a kiss on the top of my head, and then moves my hair out of the way.
“How is it?”
I shrug. “I get the staples taken out on Wednesday.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
It’s an enticing offer, and a large part of me wants to take him up on it. Having Colton there would definitely ease my anxiety about getting metal pulled from my skull. However, the doctor taking them out is the same one who put them in – while Parker sat at my bedside
“Thank you, but it’s okay. Ivy already took off work to bring me.”
“Alright, baby.” He presses another kiss into my hair, then moves me away so he can stand.
“Where are you going?”
“I promised Avery I would pick her up from school and take her to lunch.” He puts his hand out. “You’re welcome to join us.”
Running my fingers through my hair, I smile sadly. “I would, but I can’t.”
My answer doesn’t seem to surprise him. “Will I at least see you tomorrow night?”
“What’s tomorrow night?”
He looks at me like I’ve forgotten something important. “The annual bonfire on the beach.”
Okay, so maybe I did.
For Maverick’s 18th birthday, he wanted to have a massive bonfire. He even went through all the trouble of getting the town to grant him approval to have it on the beach. The turnout was so big that it ended up becoming an annual thing. Now, there are food trucks that come, and a local DJ volunteers to provide music for the event. It may not be for his birthday anymore, but it’s still his event. It’s one thing my brother is really proud of and I’ve missed it for the last four years. There is no way he’s going to let me miss it again, not that I’d even want to.
“Yeah. I’ll be there.”
He grins then bends down, caressing my face and pressing his lips to mine. It’s soft and sweet, with no underlying intentions. When he pulls away, the level of emotion in his eyes is overwhelming.
“Text me, okay? It’s like living in my own personal hell when you don’t.”
I nod, and with one last kiss, he leaves. My body flops back down onto the couch, burrowing under the blanket he must have covered me with while I was sleeping. Why can’t my life be simple? I wish the choice was as easy as Ivy thinks it is. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’m just making this harder than it needs to be.
THE FRONT DOOR OPENS as I’m in the middle of putting on mascara. I don’t need to look to know who it is. No more than five seconds later, Ivy’s voice booms through the foyer.
“Mac?”
“In here!” I shout back.
She comes around the corner and leans against the doorway to the bathroom. I can see her reflection in the mirror. She’s wearing a pair of shorts and a gray crop top, with her blonde hair straightened to perfection. I’ve always wondered why she didn’t become a model. She’s gorgeous.
“Is that waterproof?”
I smile. “Of course, it is. I know my brother. The chance of getting hit with a water balloon is high, no matter how much he promises there won’t be any.”
“Smart girl.” She chuckles.
The summer before I left for school, I made the mistake of wearing non-waterproof make up. I was absolutely mortified when I ended up looking like a raccoon only two hours into the bonfire. No amount of Tatum’s make up wipes could save my face that night.
The jeans I’m wearing cling to my hips in all the right places, and my halter top hangs perfectly around my neck. I make sure to wear a hair-tie on my wrist, just in case my hair becomes a ratty mess. Once I deem myself ready to go, I slip my phone into my back pocket and we head out.
It’s only a mile away, so Ivy and I decide to walk. That way, neither of us need to be the designated driver. There is nothing better than drinking a beer next to a fire on the beach.
“So, Colton will be there.” She says, as if I didn’t already know.
“Yup.”
“Is Parker coming?”
I wince. “God, I hope not. He’s in Boston right now.”
Her eyebrows furrow. “It’s Saturday night.”
“I know. He has a study session with a group from one of his classes.” She hums, but doesn’t say anything. “What?”
“Nothing.”
I nudge her with my elbow. “It’s not nothing. Spill.”
She shrugs. “I just think he’s been having an awful lot of study sessions lately.”
What she’s insinuating is clear, but I can’t seem to bring myself to believe Parker would do that. He’s never been the kind of person to go behind my back. And even if he was, could I really be mad? I mean, I’ve spent the last couple months having an affair with my ex. That doesn’t exactly scream victim.
“See? That. That right there.” Ivy points at my face. “Whatever the hell is going through your head right now should be enough to tell you who you should choose.”
I roll my eyes playfully. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Mhm.” She waves me off. “Take the jump, McKenna. Just take the jump.”
The rest of the walk is relatively quiet, giving me way too much time to be in my own head. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t missed Colton every second that I’m away from him, but I’d also be lying if I said I won’t miss Parker if I leave him. I feel like no matter what I decide, I lose. I just have to determine which loss I can live with.
As soon as the beach comes into view, the air gets sucked from my lungs. Colton is already there, looking like sex on legs. He’s throwing a football back and forth with Maverick. Sweat glistens across his torso, making his already perfect body look even more magical. I’ve never been more grateful for the heat and his lack of wearing a shirt.
“And you pretend you don’t know what you want.” Ivy murmurs.
I lightly smack her arm with the back of my hand, then continue to walk towards Tatum and Roman. Ivy follows. As soon as Colton sees me, he bites his lip to conceal his smile. His muscles flex a little more than necessary as he throws the ball back to Maverick.
“Look who finally decided to join us.” Roman quips. I try not to laugh at the way his eyes widen when he sees Ivy. How have I never noticed this before?
I hug Tatum hello, then give one to Rome. “Well, I was told I didn’t have a choice.”
“Because you don’t.” My brother comes up and wraps his arms around me. “It’s been too long since you’ve come to one of these.”
Nodding, I look around and try my best not to let my gaze linger on Colton for too long. “This is crazy, Mav.”
“It’s the biggest event of the year now.” He nudges me. “You’d know that if you had come home for a summer, or at all.”
Leave it to Maverick to consistently bring that up. “Yeah, yeah.” I wave him off. “Oh, is that a taco truck?! I’m starving.”
I grab Ivy’s and with a discreet smile at Colton, we leave the gang behind and go get some food. If I’m going to handle being around Colton with his shirt off and not being able to touch him, I need a clear head. Just the sight of him takes all my thoughts and jumbles them up.
THE ENERGY ACROSS THE beach is electric. Everyone is in a great mood as they listen to music and catch up with old friends. Still, no matter how many people from my past come up to say hello, I can’t seem to take my eyes off Colton. He’s standing with Maverick, Roman, and a couple other guys from their graduating class, laughing about something and looking like he just stepped off a Calvin Klein photoshoot. God, he’s flawless.
“You know, I’ve seen you look at Parker plenty of times.” My mother remarks, making me wonder how long she’s been sitting next to me. “And I have never seen you look at him the way you look at Colton.”
“Mom.” I whine.
She raises her hands in surrender. “I’m not judging. I’m just trying to understand why you’re still engaged to someone who isn’t him.”
“It’s complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
I run my fingers through my hair and give her a defeated look. “There’s so much that you don’t know.”
She gives me one of her comforting smiles. “You mean, how you two were a thing before you left for school?”
My jaw drops. “How did you…”
“I’m not blind, McKenna. I’ve always known.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
She shrugs. “It wasn’t any of my business. You were happy, and I figured if there was something to tell, you’d come to me.”
My eyes widen. “Does Maverick know?!”
“Oh, god no.” She scoffs. “He’s oblivious to everyone and everything that isn’t Tatum.”
I may argue that she’s wrong if I hadn’t seen how little he noticed at his birthday dinner. I swear, Colton could have told me every sexual thought he had about me, and Maverick wouldn’t have realized a thing. Still, even the idea that he could find out makes me sick to my stomach. He’d hate me for stealing his best friend, and he’d probably kill Colton for as much as thinking about me that way. Maybe staying with Parker would be best for everyone.
“It doesn’t matter.” I murmur.
“If that were true, you wouldn’t have strayed fro
m Parker in the first place.” When I don’t say anything, she continues. “Look, McKenna, I might not know much about what you two have going on, but I do know he’s a great guy, and that he looks at you like you hung the moon.” She stands. “Don’t let the fear of upsetting someone keep you from what you truly want.”
“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite women.” The familiar voice has my heart racing in an instant. I turn my head to see Colton walking toward us.
My mom laughs. “I don’t think your mother would be too happy to hear that.” She gives him a loving hug, and I don’t miss the way she speaks lowly as she pulls away. “You need to tell her.”
It’s clear her words were only meant for him, but my curiosity gets the better of me as she walks away and Colton takes the seat beside me. “Tell who what?”
He looks like he’s hiding something behind those oceanic eyes of his, but instead of explaining, he shakes his head. “It’s nothing. How’s your evening? Are you enjoying yourself?”
I nod. “Definitely. It’s crazy how big this thing has gotten over the years. I still remember hearing you and Maverick plan the first one.”
Dusting the sand off his knees, he snickers. “Nah, this was all Mav. I was just the best friend who always got roped into his crazy ideas.”
“He’s had some wild ones, hasn’t he? Like the time that he made you and Roman go with him to try and find elephant ear leaves and girls who would fan you with them.”
He throws his head back and groans while laughing. “Don’t remind me. That was the day I got a milkshake poured over my head.”
“Classic.” I tease. “That should happen more often.”
Colton glares playfully. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
The corners of my mouth raise into a smirk. “I mean, I can think of better ways to cover you in chocolate.”
Returning to Rockport: A Brother's Best Friend Romance Page 23