His breath hitches and his pupils widen, showing his arousal. “Fuck, Mac. You can’t just say things like that.”
“And if I do anyway?”
“I’m sure I can find somewhere around here to sneak you away to.”
There are so many things that turn me on about the concept of us running off to fool around. I’ve been craving the feeling of his hands on my skin for a week now, and since the second I got here, my core has been aching.
I survey the area before looking back at him. “Think your car would be safe enough?”
“Don’t fuck with me, Princess.” He growls.
Giving him a wink, I get up and start walking toward the parking lot. After five steps, I turn around to see he’s still sitting in place. “Are you coming?”
He gets up and follows me without another word. The two of us are all laugher and smiles as we make our way to his car, which thankfully, has tinted windows. Colton reaches over to tickle my side, causing me to jump out of his reach, giggling like a school girl. If there weren’t hundreds of people able to see us right now, I’d leap into his arms and have him carry me the rest of the way while I kiss his neck.
“Keep your hands to yourself, Brooks.” I tease.
“Yes, Brooks. Please keep your hands to yourself.”
The British accent has me stopping dead in my tracks. My head whips over to see Parker standing no more than twenty feet in front of me. I swallow hard as I try to gauge his expression – stoic.
“P-Parker, hey.” I try to gain control of my breathing. “I didn’t know you were coming.”
He grins. If he has any idea of what’s been going on between Colton and I, he doesn’t show it as he walks toward me and wraps his arms around my waist. “I wanted to surprise you. Were you leaving?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Colton looking just as uncomfortable as I feel. Still, he comes to my rescue when the words get caught in my throat. “No. McKenna was just coming with me to get something out of my car, but you two go enjoy the party. I can get it.”
“Are you sure?” My eyes are begging to know if he’s okay.
He nods. “Of course. Parker has never been to one of these. Go show him around.”
With that, Colton runs his fingers through his hair and continues his trek to the parking lot. I glance up at my fiancé, only to find him smiling down at me. I should be happy he’s here, but the feeling I get as I look at him does little to ease the stabbing pain in my chest from seeing the hurt expression on Colton’s face.
This is not the time, McKenna. Not right now.
My subconscious is right. I shake the thought from my head and plaster on the best smile I can manage. “Come on. I’m sure everyone will be happy you’re here.”
LONG AFTER THE SUN has set, the DJ announces last song and the crowd starts to clear out. Instead of going with them, Maverick, myself, and our closest friends all head toward the fire. Since the second year this event became big, we’ve made it a tradition to stay later. With Roman being on the fire department, they leave him in charge of one of the trucks and allow us to keep the fire going as long as we want.
“It isn’t over?” Parker questions, confused.
Roman snorts. “No way. This is when the party starts! Isn’t that right, Mackey?”
“Oh god.” I groan. “Don’t call me that.”
Colton and Maverick both chuckle, but only Colton speaks. “Shit, I remember that! It was like a good three months you demanded everyone call you Mackey!”
“Okay, I was like twelve. I hardly think you can hold that against me now.”
Ivy laughs from beside me. “Maybe not, but remember the first time we got drunk? You and I started thinking of what our stripper names would be if we didn’t get into college. What was yours? Mc-”
I slap my hand over her mouth as fast as possible, letting out a sigh of relief when the rest comes out muffled and inaudible. The last thing these guys need is something else to pick on me for. Maverick having a lifetime worth of memories is bad enough. He does not need more.
“Oh, come on!” Colton whines. “I wanted to hear that!”
I give him a lighthearted glare, but I know it’s never going to deter him. He’ll get it out of me eventually, but it won’t be in front of everyone else. “Not a chance.”
“You were going to become a dancer if you didn’t get into university?” Parker questions, his voice laced with concern for my moral standards.
I shake my head. “No. It was only a joke.”
He exhales. “Oh good. If my mother found out her future daughter-in-law considered taking her clothes off for money, she’d have a coronary.”
Ivy, Tatum, and I all cringe at the mention of where our relationship is currently heading. Thankfully, Parker doesn’t notice. Just as my eyes meet Colton’s, Maverick interrupts the awkward situation.
“Who’s coming with me to get the cooler?”
Colton jolts up. “I will.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat at the way he’s jumping at the opportunity to get some distance. In my heart, I know it’s not me he’s trying to get away from, but Parker being here with me. I can’t say I blame him. If he was here with another girl, I don’t think I would’ve shown up at all.
After a few drinks, I start to feel the alcohol coursing through my veins – providing the perfect buzz to let loose a bit. I’ve missed nights like this, ones spent around the fire with those most important to me. They were always my favorite.
Colton takes out his guitar and starts strumming random cords. As soon as the sound meets her ears, Ivy stands and grabs my hand. She pulls me away from Parker and into the empty space, a little too close to the fire.
“Colton, play something we can dance to!” She demands.
He starts to play a tune I don’t recognize. Ivy and I sway to the melody and soon, Tatum joins us. We spin around, laughing and letting our bodies move to the beat. It’s probably the furthest thing from attractive, but none of us care.
Suddenly, the song changes to one that sends chills through my entire body, making the hair on my arms stand straight up. From the Ground Up. My eyes find Colton’s and he doesn’t look away from me as he continues to strum the tune with utmost perfection. The look on his face is so intense and full of adoration. It takes everything in me not to throw myself into his lap right now.
“McKenna.” Ivy whisper-shouts, grabbing my hand to snap me from my stupor. Shit, Parker. Maverick!
I look to my brother first only to find him completely immersed in a conversation with Roman. Then, I dance in a way that causes me to spin around so I can catch a glimpse of Parker. To my relief, he’s looking down at his phone. Phew, that was a close call.
I RUSH INTO THE house, peeling the drenched fabric of my sweatshirt from my body. Just as we were about to start playing one of those stupid games you only play when you’re drunk, the skies opened and rain started to pour down on us. It put out the large bonfire entirely on its own, so we all grabbed what we could and booked it for the parking lot. None of us even got the chance to say goodbye.
Walking over to the sink, I ring my hair out. What I need right now is to get out of these wet clothes and into a hot shower. Just as I’m about to head upstairs, Parker comes in the kitchen and tosses his keys onto the counter.
“So, tell me something.” He requests.
I pull my hair into bun as thunder cracks loudly outside. “What’s up?”
“How long has something been going on between you and Colton?”
And just like that, I’m stone cold sober.
22
MCKENNA
The storm outside doesn’t even begin to compare to the one brewing inside this house. I stare blank faced at Parker, silently debating between complete denial and telling him everything. He holds my gaze and doesn’t move an inch. I can tell by the expression on his face, it’s not a matter of if he knows, it’s what. There’s no getting out of this. I’m caught.
�
��I can explain.” I try, but him and I both know that’s not true. Nothing I say can justify my actions.
His eyebrows raise as he walks around the island and stands directly in front of me. “By all means, please.”
The ways I could tell this story are endless. I don’t even know where to start, so I go with the beginning. “Do you remember our first date? We were sitting at dinner and you could tell I was guarded.”
“I asked who had made you that way.” He finishes for me.
I nod. “It was Colton…”
It’s been three days. Three torturous, long, excruciating days since my brother’s best friend stole my first kiss, and my heart right along with it. Since that night, I haven’t been able to focus at all. The feeling of his kiss still lingers on my lips, like he branded me with them and claimed me for himself. Ivy tells me I need to get a grip – that it was just one kiss. Well, tell that to the part of me that has been in love with him since I was old enough to know what love is.
Maybe I wouldn’t be driving myself crazy if I was able to talk to him about it. The idea of asking him what the kiss meant, or if it meant anything at all, is the most nerve wracking thing I’ve ever faced in my life, but I know it needs to be done. However, that requires seeing him, which I haven’t – at all. He seems to be avoiding this house like the plague, which should be my answer but it’s not one I’m willing to accept.
I’m washing the dishes with Ivy on speaker phone, going through the events of the other night for the billionth time.
“But he kissed me, Iv. And not in a way that seemed accidental. He kissed me like he needed it, like he wasn’t going to live another second if he didn’t get his lips on mine.”
“So you’ve said.” She murmurs, lacking any enthusiasm at all.
“And now I haven’t seen him since. The next morning, he was gone. Literally, just gone. He usually stays for breakfast. I tried to get information from Maverick without seeming suspicious, but all he said was that Colton had to go home early in the morning. What if something bad happened?”
“Or what if he realized he made a mistake?”
“Ouch.” I know she means well, but that stung.
She sighs. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be harsh, but you have to look at the bigger picture. When’s the last time he’s gone more than a day without being at your house? If that kiss meant something, wouldn’t he have come to you already?”
“Maybe he didn’t know what to say.” Colton’s voice from behind me sounds.
I spin around so fast it almost gives me whiplash. My heart practically breaks through my chest when I see him standing there. There’s a hint of a smugness on his face, telling me he heard enough of my conversation to know I’ve been driving myself, and my best friend for that matter, absolutely insane.
“Is that Colton?!” Ivy asks, her tone suddenly louder.
“I’ll call you back.”
“Wait! Leave it on speaker! I want to-”
Without a second thought, my hand swipes my phone into the soapy water filled sink and Ivy’s inquisitive mind goes with it. Colton’s eyes widen and he snickers as he looks behind me.
“You just destroyed your phone.”
I hold back my wince. I know my mom might kill me for it later, but she’ll buy another one. I’ll just tell her it was an accident. That I was holding it to my ear with my shoulder and it slipped. Yeah, that’ll work.
“M-Maverick isn’t home.” Really, McKenna? That’s what you come up with?! Pathetic.
He smiles nervously. “I know. I came to talk to you.”
“Oh.” I run my fingers through my hair, only to realize my hand is covered in suds. Wonderful.
Colton chuckles and takes a step toward me. “You’ve got a little…”
He grabs the dish rag from beside me and wipes the bubbles from my forehead. Then, he takes each of my hands and cleans them as well. He’s so close that I can smell his cologne. It’s infiltrating my senses and making it nearly impossible to concentrate. If it meant he’d keep touching me like this, I’d dive into that sink head first.
“Thanks.” I say softly as he steps back.
“No problem.”
An uncomfortable silence fills the room, making me wish I could run away and keep the hope that him and I might have a future together alive. The way he’s refusing to make eye contact with me right now, tells me that hope is about to die a very painful death. It’s my fault, really. I should have known better than to fall for my brother’s unattainable best friend. What’s that thing my mother always says? Better to rip the band aid off? Well, I guess we should get this over with.
“You kissed me.” I declare with as much confidence as I can manage.
He bites his lip and nods, still looking at the ground. “I did.”
“And now you’re here to tell me that it can’t happen again.”
He exhales. “Ivy was right. That kiss was a mistake.”
If I thought hearing my best friend say it hurt, hearing it come from his mouth is a whole different kind of blow. I do my best to hold back the tears, but my voice waivers anyway. “Okay, cool. You did what you came here to do. You can go now.”
“McKenna.”
“No. Really, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’ll, uh, see you later.”
I go to slip past him but he stops me with a gentle grasp on my wrist. As I look up at him, a tear escapes from my eye and slides down my cheek. Colton catches it with his thumb, wiping it from my face. There’s something I don’t recognize in his expression. Something that makes my every nerve ending come alive and want to obey anything that comes from his mouth.
“Maverick would kill me.” He whispers.
Of course my over-protective, over-invasive, asshole of a brother is what’s keeping me from getting what I want. Even the thought of it makes me want to scream. Why does he have any influence in what I do?
“I’m not a little girl anymore, Colton.”
A humorless laugh emits from the back of his throat. “Oh, trust me, Princess. I know.” His one hand moves from my wrist to the small of my back, and he uses it to pull me closer – making it so my body is pressed against his own. I stare up at him, eyes full of wonder, and he sighs when he finds his resolve. “I’m going to hell.”
Without another word, his lips meet mine for the second time and it’s absolutely invigorating. As soon as I gasp, he slips his tongue into my mouth, making me his and his alone. Every single thing in my mind is instantly replaced with all thoughts of him. I may not make it out of this unscathed, but I’ll bask in this feeling for as long as I can.
PARKER AND I STAY seated on the couch across from each other, neither of us saying a word. I spent the last hour telling him everything – from the fling Colton and I had before college, to the way we ended, all the way to how it started again. Seeing the pain etched across his face as he listened to me admit to cheating on him, threatened to rip my heart to shreds. I never intended to hurt him, or maybe I never intended for him to find out. All I know is that it’s all come out in the wash, and now I have to see where we go from here.
“Are you in love with him?” He asks. I open my mouth to speak, but he shakes his head. “Wait, don’t answer that.”
Leaning forward, he rests his elbows on his knees. His hands cover his face and make it hard for me to gauge his expression. A part of me wonders if I should go try to comfort him but I don’t know how that would be accepted, so I stay where I’m at.
“I’m sorry.”
He scoffs. “Yeah, you’ve said that already.”
The weather outside has since let up, but the mood in this room is still just as dark. It’s two o’clock in the morning, and yet I’ve never been so wide awake. My phone still lies where I left it on the counter – all texts remaining unanswered. When I woke up this morning, I never imagined this is how tonight would go. How could such a great day, have such a shitty ending?
“Okay.” Parker announces with a new-found certainty.
&nb
sp; My eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Okay?”
He nods. “Okay. We can get through this.”
“We can?!”
His eyes meet mine for the first time in over an hour, and narrow as they study me. “Is that not what you want?”
“I- I…”
Is it? I’ve hit a fork in the road, the time and place where I need to decide, and all I want to do is set up camp right here and stay forever – in this limbo where I can have them both. As selfish as it may be, I can’t picture my life without either one of them.
Parker stands and comes closer, filling the space beside me and pulling my hand into his. “McKenna, I meant it when I said I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and as much as your infidelity hurts, it doesn’t change anything. However, I only want that if you want it, too. Please don’t marry me if your heart isn’t fully in it.”
“You’re not leaving me?” My bewildered state is evident. I thought for sure he would be gone the second an admission came from my lips.
He shakes his head. “I love you, McKenna, and I can love you through this – but only if you want me to. It’ll take a lot of work to get back to where we were, but I’m willing to do that because I want you. You just have to decide if that’s what you want.”
This is it. This is where I have the opportunity to make a decision and make it known, but still, I freeze. In the battle between Parker and Colton, head and heart, I come up blank. It’s like my whole body malfunctions and can’t formulate a single rational thought.
“Do you need the answer now, or can I think about it?”
I can tell by his face that he was hoping I’d jump into his arms and thank him for staying, but that isn’t going to happen right now. Reluctantly, he nods and releases my hand from his hold. The two of us stand and I head to the bedroom, taking a duffle bag from my closet and starting to fill it with some clothes. If I’m really going to think this through, I can’t do it here.
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