Just as I’m zipping the bag closed, Parker comes into the room. His tear stained cheeks send a jolt of pain through my heart. He places a kiss to my forehead and I do my best to stay strong.
“Come back to me.” He whispers.
With that, he steps back and lets me leave. It isn’t until I’m outside waiting for my Uber that I allow myself to cry, to feel the pain of everything in full force, and to start the process of finally making a choice.
I WAKE IN THE morning to the sound of someone knocking lightly on my bedroom door. As soon as my eyes open, my mom steps inside. Her face holds nothing but love as she comes over and places a cup of tea on my nightstand.
“Are you okay? You were a bit inconsolable when you got here last night.”
I sit up and pull the warm mug into my hands. “I don’t know. I think so?”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
If she wasn’t one of the most comforting people I know, I may have turned down that offer. Instead, I move out of the way and gesture for her to take a seat on my bed.
“Parker found out about Colton and I.”
“Oh, McKenna.” She pulls me into her arms and I go willingly. “So, what happens now?”
I shrug. “He said he wants to make it work.”
“And I take it you said no? I mean, judging by the fact that you slept here last night.”
“I told him I need time to think, and I do. I can’t see him every day and make that kind of decision. He’ll just try to do things to sway me, and I need to make sure this is what I want.”
She nods, agreeing with me. “Well, you know you’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like. And I’m here, if you need someone to talk to or even just someone to listen.”
“Thanks Mom, for everything.”
She smiles and then excuses herself, leaving me alone to ponder my thoughts.
THE FIRST DAY IS spent wallowing in self-pity. I only come out of my room to pee or get something to eat – not that I have much of an appetite. I dodge the few incoming calls from Parker and Colton, and only responding to texts with one word answers that make it clear I’m not up for talking. The second day, I force myself to get up and shower. The brownie crumbs found in my hair are enough to tell me that I need to get a grip. Life is moving on, and if I don’t go with it, it’ll leave me behind.
I blow dry my hair just enough to make it look presentable and throw on a pair of leggings with a tank top. A few months ago, a few days even, I would’ve been mortified at the idea of going out in public looking like a bum. Today, I really couldn’t care less. I grab the keys to my mom’s car, tell her I’ll be back in a bit, and head out the door.
Listening to the GPS on my phone, I follow the directions until I reach my destination. The sound of hammers pounding on nails echoes through the air. I kill the engine and step out of the car. As soon as I enter the building, I see Colton leaning over a blueprint with Roman at his side. They’re clearly immersed in conversation, and it takes a minute before anyone notices me.
“You lost, darlin?” A man in a hard hat asks, looking at me like I’m just what the doctor ordered.
Colton picks his head up and glares at the man. “Back off, Flynn. That one’s taken.”
He takes one step back and raises his hands in surrender. “And here I thought you were trying to be a monk or some shit. You been keeping this little beauty locked away in an ivory tower somewhere?”
“No, but maybe I should. That’s not the worst idea.” Colton comes closer and takes me into his arms. “Everything okay?”
I shake my head slightly. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
“Yeah, of course.” With one last nod at Roman, he leads me outside and away from all the noise. “What’s going on?”
“Parker knows.”
He looks a little confused. “Parker knows what?”
“Everything.”
His eyes widen. “Everything, everything?” I nod. “Wow, okay. I wasn’t expecting that. Are you alright? He didn’t hurt you, did he? Was he civil about the whole thing?” He takes a deep breath but doesn’t give me a chance to say anything. “Do you have somewhere to stay? If you don’t, my house is still being built, but we can get an apartment in the meantime.”
“Colton.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re right. We need to tell everyone first. Oh! Did you tell Tatum to cancel the wedding?! I guess that needs to come first.”
“Colton!” My tone cuts off his rant and he stops to face me. The look on my face must say it all, because his mouth opens and closes as his expression darkens.
“Oh my god.” He takes a step away from me. “You’re still with him.”
“I told him I need time to think.”
Outrage takes over his features. “Time to think?! You’ve had months to think, and you still don’t know?!”
Tears build in my eyes, once again. It feels like all I’ve done lately is cry. “It’s not that simple!”
“It is, McKenna! You either want to be with me, or you want to be with him!” He scoffs and shakes his head as he retreats slowly. “You know what? Take all the fucking time you want.” He doesn’t even give me a second glance as he turns around and disappears back into the building, leaving me a sobbing mess. I guess old habits die hard.
I SPEND THE WEEK hidden away from the world. Texts from Parker filter in daily, asking how my day is and telling me he misses me. Colton, however, hasn’t said anything since our argument on Monday. I can’t say that I blame him. He got so excited, only to have it ripped away from him as quickly as it came. Talking to me is probably the last thing he wants right now.
“McKenna!” My mother calls. “You have a visitor!”
My eyebrows furrow as my heart starts to race. I know Parker would never show up unannounced. He respects my boundaries too much for that. There’s only one person I can think of that could be at the door. I clamber off my bed and make my way toward the stairs. As I see who it is, however, I can’t help but feel disappointed.
“Rome?”
He gives me one of his friendly smiles and waves. My mother stands with her back to him, looking at me with her eyebrows raised – as if she’s wondering what the hell I’m up to.
“Mom, no. Whatever you think is happening between Roman and I, is wrong.”
When he realizes what I mean, he chokes on his own saliva and starts coughing profusely. “Oh god. No, Mrs. Taylor, that’s not why I’m here.”
My mom chuckles. “I’m just messing with you. And Roman, I’ve told you, call me Marissa.”
“My mother raised me better than that, ma’am.”
“Well, I don’t see her here.”
I laugh at their antics and slip out the door, gesturing for Roman to follow me. He does, and the two of us sit on the porch steps. “So, what makes me so special for you to come visit me on your birthday?”
He grins widely. His birthday is, and always has been, his favorite holiday. I already texted him this morning and wrote on his facebook, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he was going around collecting verbal ‘happy birthday’s as well.
“What? I can’t come see my favorite ‘best friend’s little sister’ without needing a reason?”
I smirk. “I’m going to tell Avery you said that.”
“Don’t you dare. That little shit may only be sixteen, but she’s dangerous.” When I give him a teasing look and pretend to take out my phone to text her, he stops me. “Okay, you win. I have an ulterior motive.”
“Which is?”
“I’m worried about you, and I’m tired of seeing Colton mope around job sites like someone shot his puppy.”
“Kicked his puppy.” I correct.
“What?”
“The term is kicked his puppy. Shot his puppy sounds morbid.”
He groans. “Tomayto, tomahto.”
I chuckle softly. “Okay, I’m sorry.”
“Brat.” His shoulder bumps my own. “So, how are you? And don’t give me that gen
eric ‘I’m fine’ answer, because you and I both know that’s a crock of shit.”
I never thought I’d be having this conversation with Roman of all people. Ivy and Tatum have been trying to talk to me all week with no success. Perhaps a fresh perspective is exactly what I need.
“I don’t know.” I confess. “Having to choose between my fiancé and my childhood crush isn’t easy. I love them both and Colton doesn’t seem to understand that. He thinks it’s all black and white. Him or Parker.”
He nods, listening to me until I’m done. “And you’re still undecided?”
“Yeah.” I sigh. “Sometimes I wake up almost positive that I want to be with Colton, other times the fear of losing Parker is so intense I can’t breathe.”
“Well, what about the thought of being with Parker?”
“What do you mean?”
He shrugs. “You said you’ve thought about being with Colton, and you’ve thought about losing Parker. What about the thought of being with Parker and losing Colton? How does that make you feel?” When I stay quiet, he continues. “Personally, I think you already made your choice. You just don’t know it yet.”
My eyebrows furrow, wondering where he’s going with this. “I have?”
“Yup.” His tone is full of confidence is determination. “Think about it. What was your reaction when Parker said he wasn’t leaving you?”
“I was shocked.”
“And why’s that?”
I fiddle with the hem of my shirt. “Because I was almost positive he was going to leave me.”
He nods again. “So then, why’d you tell him?”
“He figured it out.”
“Maybe, but you didn’t have to admit it. If you were so sure he was going to leave, and you didn’t want that, you could have denied it. You could’ve stopped everything going on with Colton and focused all your attention on your engagement. He couldn’t prove anything, which is why he asked you in the first place.”
The revelation hits me like a slap in the face. “Oh my god. I was hoping he’d leave.”
Roman’s smile widens. “There you go! I knew you didn’t get through NYU just on your good looks.” I roll my eyes but can’t fight off my grin. He stands. “So, you ready to go?”
“Go where?”
“To my surprise party.”
A bark of laughter leaves my mouth as I get up and follow Roman to his Jeep. “I didn’t know you knew about that.”
Personally, I wasn’t going to go because I didn’t think Colton wanted to see me.
“Please.” He scoffs. “I figured it out weeks ago. Your brother is a horrible liar. I just hope he got a cake.”
I smirk. “Why? So, you can wish for a certain blonde on your birthday candles?”
Roman’s jaw drops, and as he puts the car in drive, he shakes his head. “Fucking Brooks.”
THE PARTY IS A lot bigger than I thought it would be. I don’t even recognize half the people here. Then again, this is a party for Roman and he’s always had a lot of friends.
We walk through the back gate and onto the patio. As soon as people notice our arrival, shouts of ‘surprise’ fill the large yard. However, the second my eyes find what they were looking for, my heart feels like it was ripped for my chest. Colton is standing next to my brother with a girl hanging on his arm, but it’s not just any girl.
It’s Olivia, his ex-girlfriend.
23
COLTON
I stand on the ladder, trying not to fall as I hang the decorations. It’s bad enough that I have to attend this party, let alone help set up for it. Don’t get me wrong, Rome is one of my best friends, but I’m just not in a celebrating mood.
The shaking beneath me pulls my attention away from the banner and down to the ground. I narrow my eyes at Tatum, who seems to be too engrossed in her phone to actually do her job.
“The fuck, Tate? Hold the ladder before I fall off the damn thing!”
She rolls her eyes, but pockets her phone to grip the base again. “I see you’re still in a lovely mood. Would it kill you to not be such an asshole?”
“It would, actually.”
For a minute, I think she’s going to keep her mouth shut for once, but just as I finish placing the last piece of tape, she proves me wrong.
“I don’t understand why you don’t just go talk to her.”
I groan, climbing down the ladder and walking away. “This again?! Don’t you ever get tired of sticking yourself in everyone else’s damn business?”
“Nope. Especially not when I see the two of you miserable when you don’t have to be.”
Her words, mixed with the frustration of this whole situation, stop me in my tracks. I turn around to face her.
“Please. She’s in her perfect house, with her perfect fiancé, planning her perfect wedding. I’m sure she’s anything but miserable. It’s time to face the facts. She’s never going to leave him.”
Tatum’s eyes narrow. “Oh my god. Have you not talked to her at all?!”
“Not since Monday.” I go to leave again but she grabs my arm.
“Colton, McKenna has been staying at her parents’ house for the past week.”
My stomach drops and time stands completely still. “What?” I shake my head. “But she told me. She told me her and Parker didn’t split up.”
“They didn’t, not yet anyway, but she hasn’t been staying with him since Saturday night. Actually, I’m pretty sure she hasn’t even seen him since then.”
Fuck. So this entire time, I’ve been pissed at her, beating myself up thinking she ended up choosing him, and she hasn’t. This whole week she’s been halfway to being mine, and I’ve been nothing but a prick. I screamed at her on Monday. She came to tell me, and I actually yelled at her. I should have let her talk.
“Shit, Tate. What if I screwed this all up?!” I start to pace back and forth. “I need to go find her.”
“Yeah, that might be a good place to start.” She answers sarcastically.
Just as I’m about to grab my keys, Maverick comes through the back gate. He had gone to pick up the keg from the liquor store. However, it’s not him that makes my jaw drop – it’s who’s with him.
Olivia Benson, also known as the girl I dated for two years in college. We met at a party during freshman year and we got along well enough. What she doesn’t know, however, is that I started dating her to try and keep my attention off McKenna. My best friend’s fifteen-year-old sister was so far off limits that even looking her direction would’ve been grounds for murder. I needed a distraction, and Olivia was a pretty good one – until she wasn’t.
“Look who I found!” Mav announces with way too much enthusiasm. Tatum chokes on air behind me as Olivia comes closer.
“Colton! It’s been ages.” She wraps her arms around me and I breathe through my mouth to avoid gagging from the overwhelming gust of perfume. When she pulls away, she turns her attention to Tatum. “And I see the golden couple is still going strong.”
“Liv, hey.” She graciously hugs her back, mouthing ‘what the fuck’ at me when Olivia can’t see.
If someone asked me what I expected for the day, the idea of my best friend bringing my ex-girlfriend back from the liquor store wouldn’t have even been on my radar. I haven’t seen her since we broke up five years ago – a break up that was far from civil, mind you.
“Mav? A minute?” I nod toward the side of the yard.
He smirks. “Sure. You can help me get the keg from the car.”
I follow him out to the driveway, doing my best to bite my tongue until I know we’re out of earshot. Finally, the coast is clear.
“Okay, are you out of your mind? I mean really. Have you lost brain cells recently?! Why the hell would you bring her here?!”
Maverick chuckles. “Why not? I’ve seen the way you’ve been lately. You need to get laid.”
“And you thought Liv would be the answer to that?!”
He shrugs. “Well, no. I was originally going to hire
you a hooker, but then I saw her at the store and thought ‘eh, close enough’. Come on man, she’s always wanted you. It’s not even like getting her in bed would take any effort.”
I take a deep breath, forcing myself to think before I speak. If I don’t, I may end up spilling everything. Such a big part of me wants to scream in his face that I have gotten laid recently, and that the only girl I want in my bed is McKenna. But this is not the time, nor the place, for that kind of conversation. Especially not when the fate of her and I is so unknown.
“Look, I appreciate your concern for my sex life, but please – worry about your own dick.” I tell him, putting the keg down behind the tiki bar.
As I’m walking away, Maverick calls after me. “My dick is doing just fine. My woman takes care of me!” He laughs as the words leave his mouth.
“Nice.” Tatum deadpans from the back door. “Real nice.”
Olivia giggles as she stands by the pool. What did I ever see in her? I slip inside and pull Tatum with me. The second the door shuts behind us, I slam my fist down on the counter.
“Your boyfriend has lost it.”
She puts her hands up. “Hey, he was your best friend before he was my boyfriend. I will not take responsibility for his crazy.”
“Fair enough.” I grab a beer from the fridge and pop it open. “What the hell am I going to do? I need to find McKenna, and I can’t do that with Mav forcing Olivia down my throat.” My eyes widen. “Oh god, Roman’s party. She can’t find Olivia here. She can’t.”
“Okay, relax. Mac isn’t coming to the party.”
“She’s not?”
“No. She told me she didn’t want to put you in an awkward place, so you don’t need to worry about that. Stay at the party for a couple of hours, satisfy Maverick’s weird need to involve himself in your sex life by talking to Liv, and then go get your girl.”
Everything she’s saying makes sense. I just hope I have the patience for it. “Okay.” I nod. “Okay, yeah, I can do that. It’s only a couple hours.”
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