The Pretense: A Men of Meadowfall book

by Wineheart, Anna

  No one answered. After a couple of minutes, Cole tilted his head back toward the car. “Guess she’s out.”

  It was only when they’d left Gran’s driveway that Levi could breathe again. He sucked in a shaky breath, realizing he was gripping Cole’s thigh painfully tight.

  “I’m sorry,” Cole said, wincing. “I should’ve thought things over before I told her.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Levi mumbled. It was his own, for initiating this entire mess.

  The sky was bright above them, and it didn’t reflect Levi’s mood at all. At Olivier’s Strings, Ollie peered worriedly at Levi. “What’s wrong?”

  “My fault,” Cole said darkly. “I fucked up.”

  Levi explained the deal with Gran, then Cole telling her about the miscarriages. Ollie’s horror grew.

  “Wait—you’ve miscarried?” Olivier yelped, blanching. “And—And this whole time, I’ve been getting you to help with Jenn and Taylor...”

  “It’s fine,” Levi said tiredly. “I agreed to it. It’s not a big deal, anyway. Those are your children. I just can’t—can’t have my own.”

  He choked up, saying those words. Olivier stepped up to him, pulling Levi into a tight hug.

  “I’m sorry,” Ollie whispered, stroking Levi’s hair. “I should’ve known better.”

  Levi closed his eyes, leaning into Ollie. There wasn’t much else they could do at this point, except damage control.

  “Is it okay if I take him away for the morning?” Cole asked after a while. “I think I know how to cheer him up.”

  Olivier brightened then. “Yeah, go ahead. Take the day off, Levi. And I really am sorry. Tell me if there’s anything I can do to help.”

  “Thanks.” Levi hugged Ollie back, before following Cole to the car. If Gran no longer wanted to speak to him... at least he still had Cole, right? But it still left a hole in his chest.

  Cole brought him back to the mansion. Instead of heading for the front door, they drove down a road branching off the main driveway, past the back of the mansion.

  The guesthouse sat in one corner of the property, surrounded by a dense thicket of birch trees. It was two stories high, with large windows facing the driveway, a quaint craftsman porch, and a veranda wrapping around the side of the house. Parts of the roof had begun to sag a little.

  “It’s bad,” Cole said, wincing. “But it’s summer, so at least it’s not gonna rain into the house while I work on it.”

  “I’ll help,” Levi said.

  Cole narrowed his eyes. “No, I’m doing this myself.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m not risking the baby.” Cole reached across the center console of the car, rubbing his knuckles down Levi’s abdomen. “I mean, you can make food and do smaller things while I work on the house, but there’s no way you’re doing any heavy lifting, or climbing up ladders, or shit like that.”

  Levi chewed on his lip. The roof was discolored and sagging, and it looked far too big for one person to deal with it all. “But I can help, right? While you work on the roof. It’s too much for you, Cole.”

  “Well, you can hand screws up to me, I guess.” Cole cracked a smile. “But that’s it. No more than that.”

  He glanced down again, at Levi’s abdomen.

  Cole wanted the baby so very much. Levi hadn’t the heart to remind him of the risks. He was six weeks along. Another ten weeks, and... and Cole would be heartbroken.

  “I’ll help,” Levi said, to take his mind off the depressing things. “I promised Gran that we’d fix up the house. I’m not going back on that promise.”

  Cole’s gaze softened. He reached over, tangling his fingers with Levi’s. Then he pulled Levi’s hand up to his lips, kissing each of Levi’s knuckles. “Yeah,” Cole whispered. “We’ll do this together.”

  * * *

  Gran did not speak to Levi for two months.

  Most mornings, Levi would wake to find Cole murmuring against his belly, his stubble scraping Levi’s skin.

  On the days when Cole wasn’t on firefighting duty, and in the mornings when Levi didn’t have to show up for work yet, they headed down to the guesthouse, Levi with prepared lunches, Cole with crowbars or roof shingles or heavy beams of lumber.

  Over the weeks, Cole had taken apart the roof, replacing old beams with new ones. Then he’d laid down the roofing layers and the shingles, and they’d turned their attention to inside the house, where the carpet was worn and the chimneys were clogged with soot.

  The guesthouse repairs were never-ending. Some days, it seemed as though they’d fixed one thing, only to have two other things fall apart. Levi scrubbed out the bathrooms. Cole moved the beds out of the bedrooms so they could clean the entire floor.

  It was when they approached the four-month mark of the pregnancy, that Cole pulled Levi out of the guesthouse, and just stood in the driveway with him, admiring the building.

  “Looks good, doesn’t it?” Cole asked with a satisfied smile. “We did it.”

  “You did most of the work,” Levi mumbled, blushing.

  In the time he’d spent working on the roof, bare-chested, Cole had taken on a tan, and his biceps had grown. He was even more gorgeous than before—the sort of alpha most omegas would throw themselves at.

  Cole tangled their fingers. “You helped.” With a warm look, he added, “And you’ve been keeping our baby safe, which is the most important thing.”

  He stroked Levi’s belly, his fingers curving gently against the baby bump.

  Levi’s throat tightened.

  At fifteen weeks, Levi had begun to stretch his shirts. He’d tried to ignore the bump, except it was difficult when Cole cupped it in his large hands every morning, pressing his face against Levi’s belly. Cole had been murmuring at their baby, kissing the bump, and he would do it again right now if Levi asked.

  Levi pulled Cole’s hand away from his belly, unwilling to let his alpha fall harder than he already would. “Why don’t we have breakfast?”

  Cole brightened. “I’m making you some food.”

  “You don’t have to!”

  When Levi had gotten home from work last night, he’d found Cole at the stove, stirring a pot of chicken broth. It’s one of your Gran’s recipes, Cole had said. She gave it to me right after she found out you were pregnant.

  Levi had taken a look at the recipe—half the list of ingredients were herbs he’d never even heard of.

  I had to drive over to Highton to get some of the ingredients, Cole had said sheepishly. None of the shops here had them.

  Levi had imagined Cole walking into all the grocery stores with that list, perplexing the staff with his questions. And the drive to Highton was an hour each way. Cole had done that all for him.

  After Levi had showered last night, Cole had sat him down at the kitchen table. He’d set a bowl of soup in front of Levi, with a chicken thigh cooked for so long that the tender meat had all but fallen apart in Levi’s mouth.

  The broth had been warm and savory, strongly herbal, and it had been the best soup Levi’d had in a while. It was bittersweet, too, because it had come indirectly from Gran.

  “I’m making you more of that soup,” Cole said impishly. “Even I don’t make you moan like that.”

  “You don’t?” Levi squawked, his face burning. “I was moaning?”

  “You so were.” Cole grinned, tugging Levi back to the car. “But that’s a secret. I’m not telling anyone the hundred-and-one ways I pleasure my omega. With soup!”

  Levi laughed, the heaviness in his chest dissipating.

  Midway through the drive home, Levi’s mouth itched... for the most ludicrous combination of food he’d ever come across. “I don’t think we have the ingredients for the breakfast I want.”

  Cole slowed the car down, frowning. “We don’t? What do you want to eat?”

  “Something sweet and sour... and spicy and salty,” Levi said, thinking. “On top of ice cream, and with mayo as a topping.”

  Gods,
he was salivating just thinking about it.

  Cole stared. “I think you know it, Levi, but that sounds absolutely nasty.”

  “You haven’t even tried it,” Levi said, looking askance at him. “How could you judge it before you taste it?”

  Cole seemed dubious, but he turned the car around anyway, heading out through the tall iron gates.

  At the nearest grocery store, Levi picked out licorice, vinegar, hot sauce, and a suspicious jar that read Fermented Beancurd.

  “I’ve never had it,” Levi said, curious. “But the salt content in here is unbelievable. 300mg of sodium in this tiny cube of tofu.”

  Cole winced. “That means you’ll put it back on the shelf, right?”

  Levi dropped it into his basket with a smile. “Nope. We’re eating it.”

  “’We’?”

  Levi nudged his alpha in the side. “C’mon, Cole. You’re a brave, strong alpha. You shouldn’t be scared of this.”

  “I’m not scared of it,” Cole muttered, but he was looking at their shopping basket with a lot more trepidation. “This isn’t breakfast food, Levi.”

  “You’re right.” Levi paused. Their basket did look a little empty.

  For a moment, Cole looked hopeful. Then Levi said, “It needs bread so everything can sit on it. That’s what’s missing.”

  Cole groaned, but he added a loaf of whole-wheat bread to their breakfast. “That’s the most breakfasty item in there,” he said.

  Levi gave him a pointed look; Cole nudged him back, pulling Levi close to kiss his ear.

  “If it weren’t for the baby...” Cole murmured, nipping at Levi’s earlobe.

  “What would you do?” Levi laughed when Cole licked his ear. “It’s the wrong place for that, Cole.”

  “If it weren’t for the baby, I’d probably pin you down right now.” Cole grinned.

  Levi blushed. Cole stroked Levi’s belly, slipping his callused fingers under Levi’s shirt to touch his bare skin.

  “Your dad’s really shy out in public,” Cole said quietly. “But I think he’ll warm up more if we did this often enough.”

  Levi elbowed Cole in the ribs. “No, we aren’t!”

  “We could in the car!” Cole wriggled his eyebrows. “Or... do you want to pick out a zucchini we could use? Plus a condom. How do you feel about being double-teamed?”

  An older couple looked over. Levi’s face burned. He dragged Cole down the dairy aisle, out of earshot of the other shoppers. “Imagine if our baby knew you were saying things like that. He’d so hate us as a teenager.”

  “He?” Cole’s eyes gleamed. “Do you know something you aren’t telling me?”

  Levi wet his lips. He hadn’t meant to let that slip.

  Somehow, in the discussions they’d had, one of the baby names had gotten stuck in Levi’s mind—Bryce.

  The more Levi thought about it, the more perfect the name seemed. And he’d been forced to acknowledge that there was a child growing inside him, a child that... Levi wanted to cradle and kiss.

  In a few weeks, Levi would begin to feel his baby flutter. His baby would be the size of his hand—it was a child he and Cole had created.

  And Levi couldn’t help wishing there were a way he could carry this child to full-term, that someday he would see Bryce tottering around, a smile on his face.

  “Levi?” Cole asked, worry flickering through his eyes.

  “I—I get the feeling it might be a boy,” Levi said quietly, his chest tight.

  He tried to silence the thoughts about his baby, except the moment he thought about Bryce as an infant, he could feel the weight of his baby swaddled up in his arms, Bryce with his arms tucked close to himself, his tiny face peaceful in sleep.

  Levi’s chest filled with yearning—it was such a dangerous feeling. This always came right before a miscarriage broke his heart.

  Cole breathed in slowly, absorbing the information. He looked at Levi’s baby bump. Then he slipped his hand against Levi’s nape, and pulled him close. Kissed him on the forehead.

  “Did you decide on a name?” Cole whispered.

  “Bryce,” Levi blurted.

  “Bryce it is.”

  Right in the middle of the grocery store, Cole knelt at Levi’s feet, pressing a kiss to Levi’s belly. “Looks like your other dad named you,” Cole murmured. “I think it’s the perfect name.”

  “You don’t even know what it means,” Levi said, half-afraid a store employee might walk up and ask them to leave. This wasn’t lewd, but... it was far too intimate.

  And they didn’t even know if Bryce would make it to the five-month mark.

  Levi brushed his hand through Cole’s blond hair, on the verge of telling him to stop.

  Then someone rounded the end-cap of the aisle—two someones.

  There was no mistaking the mottled red scars on one of them—Micah, with his pale face and thin body, and a cane to help him hobble through the store.

  His son, York, crowded close to him, seventeen and broad-shouldered, a protective alpha whose eyes narrowed the moment he recognized Levi and Cole. He still blamed Cole for the accident. Nothing Levi did had changed that.

  “Cole,” Levi said, his heart pattering nervously. This wasn’t something he wanted Micah—of all people—to witness. Not when Micah so badly wanted an alpha.

  At the sight of them, Micah’s eyes widened.

  But before Levi could stop his alpha, Cole pulled Levi’s shirt up over his belly. Then he pressed a damp kiss there, and said, “I love you both.”

  Levi glimpsed the hint of pain in Micah’s eyes, before Micah covered it up with a brave smile. “I didn’t expect to see you both here,” Micah said brightly, far too cheerful to be sincere. “Looks like you’re doing well, Levi.”

  18

  Cole

  Levi tensed against him. At first, Cole thought he’d pushed his luck too far, and they were being kicked out of the store.

  Except he heard Micah before he even turned. And Cole had heard that voice enough times in his nightmares for dread to weigh his heart down, even before he tugged Levi’s shirt back into place and stood.

  “Micah,” Cole said, stepping forward with his hand out. “It’s been a while.”

  Next to Micah, York glowered. Cole had seen the hostility from him a number of times over the years. It was something Cole deserved—he wasn’t going to begrudge the kid that.

  If a stranger got your house burnt down and almost killed your dad, you weren’t ever going to forget it. Cole would’ve done the same in York’s place, maybe even throw a punch.

  Besides, York probably never found out that it was Cole who had been contributing to his childcare bills. Hell, Micah shouldn’t even be aware of it.

  Micah shook Cole’s hand, forcing another smile. “I haven’t seen you around in a while.”

  Cole bowed his head. “I hope you’ve been doing well.”

  Or at least, as well as Micah could, with the burn scars giving him phantom pain, the red blotches on his face drawing stares wherever he went. Cole almost expected Micah to smell like smoke and ash, except he only caught a whiff of gardenia, and York’s hickory scent.

  “It’s been busy at the college,” Micah said, smiling wanly. “Perhaps you’ll return for another part-time class there, Levi?”

  Levi squirmed, discomfort clear in his eyes. Cole felt the same guilt, except his was ten times as terrible.

  He hadn’t met Micah in months—Cole was avoiding Micah where he could, so he didn’t have to remember how badly he’d fucked up in the past.

  Except right now... there was nowhere he could go. Having Micah see them being intimate, knowing it was something Micah himself wanted... And then knowing Cole had ripped that chance away from him, because he’d been young and stupid.

  Guilt closed around Cole’s heart.

  How did you deal with a mistake you’d made in the past, that affected someone else’s life so horribly? How did you promise your victim compensation when your heart was alrea
dy someone else’s?

  Cole couldn’t leave Levi. He just couldn’t. No matter how much Micah wanted another alpha, there was no way Cole could love another omega.

  They’d sent a couple of firefighters Micah’s way, too, but he’d turned them down after the first date. Cole couldn’t bear to ask how those dates had gone.

  “We should be going,” Micah said after a while, his smile strained.

  Then he turned, and Cole blurted, “I really am sorry, Micah. For everything.”

  When Micah smiled again, it was more genuine. “We all have our crosses to bear. You’ve carried yours for long enough.”

  He turned and hobbled away, York giving Cole a last resentful glare. But Cole read the pain in every step Micah took, the brightness falling away from Micah’s face the moment he thought Cole was no longer looking.

  Levi slipped his hand into Cole’s, but he’d stopped smiling, too.

  Cole had fucked up so badly, hadn’t he? First Micah, then Levi’s relationship with his gran. And he didn’t know how to fix those mistakes. If Cole hadn’t been so impulsive when Gran had called Levi... Levi would still have his grandmother to chat with.

  Am I really the right alpha for Levi? What if I mess things up for him again?

  “We should go,” Levi said quietly. “But I’m not hungry anymore.”

  Cole bit his lip, pulling Levi against his chest. He checked the aisle just to make sure Micah wasn’t there. Then he kissed Levi on the lips, but somehow, he felt as though he wasn’t supposed to. “We’ll buy these things anyway, just in case you get your craving again.”

  Levi frowned. “We don’t have to.”

  “We will,” Cole said. “It’s my money I’m spending, anyway.”

  Levi still hadn’t said whether he wanted to combine their finances, whether he wanted the relationship to be more permanent. But he was carrying their child, and so Cole would stay for however long Levi wanted him around.

  “I guess,” Levi said.

  Cole led the way to the cashier, glimpsing Micah and his son on the far end of the store. His chest squeezed again. Levi squirmed, pulling his hand out of Cole’s.