Naughty or Nice: A Friends to Lovers Christmas Romance

by Alexis Winter

  “Come home with me, please,” he begs against my soft skin. “Just one more night. I need you for just one more night.”

  “Ugh, alright,” I agree, and he picks me up against him and carries me across the yard and into the dark house. He bumps off a few walls in the dark and trips a few times, every time, making me laugh and giggle.

  “Shhh,” he tells me as we finally find his room and fall through the door. He kicks the door behind us and it slams shut.

  “Shhh,” I tell him this time.

  “I know, I know,” he whispers, quickly moving his mouth back to mine. I push his jacket down his shoulders and he does the same with mine. We leave them both lying on the floor as he lays me back on the bed. His weight presses down on me and it feels perfect. His hands run up my thighs, squeeze my hips, and tease my breasts. With a quick flick of his fingers, my bra is unlatched and he pulls it away with my shirt, revealing myself to him. A small smirk forms on his lips before he moves his mouth to them. My head falls back as I let the tingles he creates inside of me take over.

  Twelve

  Carson

  “Carson, I—” my mom’s voice rings throughout the room.

  “What in the world?” she asks, taking in the massive blanket fort that we built in my room. Felicity and I both poke our heads out and her eyes land on us. “Oh, good Lord! What is wrong with you two?” she asks, shaking her head as she quickly leaves the room.

  Felicity giggles before pulling her head back into the fort and lying down.

  I take my place at her side and look up at the blanket hanging above us as I hold her close to my chest. She turns her head up and our eyes lock. I move my mouth to hers and we kiss softly for several long moments. When I break the kiss and find her green eyes again, I can’t hold it back any longer. “Felicity, I love you.” The words come pouring out.

  I expect her to laugh or playfully smack me across the chest, tell me she loves me too, but that’s not what happens. She doesn’t do anything. She freezes like the words I just said have done nothing but scared her.

  Fuck. Undo. Go back. Cancel. Nothing is working!

  “I’m sorry to tell you like this,” I start, but she shakes her head and pulls away from me. She crawls out of the tent and starts digging around for her clothes.

  “What are you doing?” I ask, pulling some shorts on.

  “You love me?” she asks, pulling her pants up. I can’t help but watch as her breasts jiggle with the action. “You love me?” she yells louder when she catches me not paying attention.

  “Yes! What? Why are you yelling? I thought you’d be happy!”

  “Happy? Happy?” she repeats again.

  “Yes, why do you keep repeating everything?”

  She shakes her head as she pulls her shirt on, no bra. “You thought that telling me that you love me would make me happy?”

  I roll my eyes and flop down on my bed in a sitting position, giving up.

  “Why now, Carson?”

  “What?” That takes me off guard.

  “Why now?”

  “I always have loved you, Felicity. Always. Why do you think I’ve done all of this?”

  She pulls her coat on and picks up her shoes, not bothering to put them on. She shakes her head. “There’s a difference in loving me then and loving me now. Then you loved me as your best friend, your little sister. So why do you love me now? Is it because we’re sleeping together?”

  I’m speechless.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought. The only reason you love me now is because you fell in love with someone I’m not. You didn’t love me until I started throwing myself at you. You didn’t love me until I started acting completely out of character by giving you a peep show in front of the window or parading around in sexy underwear in front of your mom. You’re not in love with me, Carson. You’re in love with this character I created.”

  Without another word, she turns and rushes out, slamming the door behind her. I’m left sitting on my bed alone in a mess of clothing and blanket forts. I rest my elbows on my knees and hang my head. What am I supposed to do now? Give her time to cool off, obviously. But what then? How long is too long? How long is just enough? I don’t want to wait too long and have her write me off completely, but I don’t want to go bugging her too soon either.

  “Carson, you have a visitor,” my mom calls from the other room.

  Oh, thank God, I think as I get up and rush out of the bedroom, expecting to find Felicity. I stop dead in my tracks when I’m face-to-face with Gillian.

  “Gillian?”

  She smiles. “Hi, Carson. I hope I didn’t come at a bad time.”

  I look around and shrug. There’s no good time. “What’s up?”

  “Well,” she starts but then looks around at my mom and stepdad. “Can we talk in private?”

  “Ugh, sure,” I agree, leading her back to my bedroom.

  She walks in. “Oh, what’s all this?”

  “Oh, it’s a…uhh. It’s a blanket fort. You know? Did you ever make those as a kid?”

  She smiles. “Of course, but I haven’t made one since.”

  “Yeah, that’s the difference between me and you,” I mumble, pulling at the blankets and tearing it down. I throw the wad of blankets onto the bed and find Felicity’s bra lying on the floor next to the pillows.

  I look up at Gillian and she sees it too. “I see you’ve found some way to spend your time.”

  “Yeah, about that…” I start, about to tell her the whole story with me and Felicity, but she holds up her hand, cutting me off.

  “You don’t have to explain, Carson. We’re both single right now, and I can’t say that I’ve been a saint through our breakup either.” She bends down and picks up the pillows and bra. She tosses the pillows onto the bed and the bra, she folds in half and places it on the nightstand.

  “Okay, then what can I do for you?” I ask, sitting on the edge of the bed. It’s only now that I notice that Felicity has shut her bedroom curtains. I guess we’ll follow the same rules as when we were kids. When she opens them, I’ll go over.

  “Well, as you probably remember, tonight is my family’s big Christmas party, and I’m completely dateless. So, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind filling in. I completely understand if you already have plans and trust me, this is not me pushing you for an answer you’re not ready to give yet. I just thought that maybe, if you didn’t have any plans, you wouldn’t mind going. I remember how well you and my father got along.” She offers up her best smile.

  I take a deep breath, not knowing what to say. I’d love to get out of the house for the night, but I was hoping that Felicity would occupy my time, not Gillian. And if I do this little favor for Gillian, Felicity might take it as something it’s not. But if Felicity wants nothing to do with me, I might not want to burn this bridge with Gillian either. What do I do?

  “Gillian,” I start, but then stop, thinking again. Even if Felicity wants nothing to do with me, there’s no way I can go back to just living a normal life with Gillian anyway. Not after Felicity. She’s going to take some time to get over. “I know you’re not wanting an answer right now, but I have one for you.”

  She nods me on, brows high and smile in place.

  “I don’t want to get back together with you. You see, the girl I’ve been seeing, the owner of the bra you found, it’s Felicity.”

  “Felicity?” she asks, frowning. “Your childhood best friend that I had nothing to worry about because she was more of a little sister to you than a friend? That Felicity?”

  I nod. “That’s the one.”

  “How? How did this happen?”

  I shrug. “I think my whole life has been leading to this,” I say truthfully. “Felicity and I are best friends. But once we grew up a little, we started seeing one another differently. She was no longer just some little girl who followed me around. She was a beautiful girl who was getting attention from all of my friends. I found her undeniably sexy back then, but I wouldn’t
let it go anywhere because of our three-year age difference. Then when I went to college and she turned eighteen, things got more complicated when we kissed. Again, I stopped it because we were friends and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and she accepted that. Then we went our separate ways. I went to college; she finished high school. By the time I was out of college, she was starting. This is the first time in our lives since we were kids that we’re around one another again. I came here, hoping that our feelings had changed, but time doesn’t stop anything. I want her and she wanted me, so we agreed to hook up. Then things got more complicated. I told her I loved her.”

  Her face falls slack now, taking in my words. “And what did she have to say to that?”

  I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter what she said. It’s just the fact that I said it to another woman. That changes everything with us.” I motion between the two of us. “You honestly don’t want to be with me if I’m in love with another woman, do you?”

  She shrugs. “I mean, is it over?”

  I just look at her, not able to believe her.

  “I’m just saying that feelings linger and sometimes fade away.”

  I shake my head. “This isn’t fading, Gillian. Not any time soon. Probably never. I mean, it’s lasted me this long, right?”

  She nods once and takes a deep breath before standing. “Okay, then. Carson, I wish you the best of luck.”

  I smile. “Thank you. And I hope you find what you’re looking for out there.”

  She pulls me in for a hug and then turns to leave without another word.

  I move back over to my window and look across the small section of yard at hers. The curtains are still closed. A long breath leaves my lips. I wonder how long she can hold out. Girl can hold a grudge.

  Thirteen

  Felicity

  I’m sitting on the couch, staring at my phone when my mom sits down in the recliner next to me. “What’s your plans for the night?” she asks, picking up the remote and turning the TV on.

  I shrug. “I’ve been going so much here lately. I think I’m just going to stay in tonight. Have dinner, take a long hot bath, wrap some Christmas presents, and fill out some applications. I need to find a job and the sooner the better. I’ve been fucking off too much these last few days.”

  “Oh, hun. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve worked your whole life to get to where you are now. Sit back and enjoy it for a bit. Take some time off and relax.”

  “I just don’t want to lose the momentum, you know?”

  She laughs and shakes her head. “What’s Carson up to tonight?”

  I don’t look at her. I just shrug.

  “Oh, Felicity. Don’t tell me the two of you didn’t make up last night.”

  “No, we did,” I tell her. “But we got into another fight again this morning and I’m not sure how to handle it yet.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

  I shake my head. “Not yet. I just want to let it simmer for a while. Think through things, look at every angle, you know. Be responsible.”

  She giggles as she picks up her yarn and knitting needles. “Oh, hun, matters of the heart rarely have anything to do with responsibility.”

  That’s what I was afraid of.

  The night winds on and Mom and I decide on pizza for dinner and head to our rooms early. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and that’s when we start our holiday baking. We always head over to Carson’s on Christmas Day and have a huge dinner and exchange presents. Usually it’s something I look forward to, but this year my excitement is held under something else. Anyway, the dinner is more of a potluck and we always bring a side plus the desserts. That means many long hours in the kitchen, preparing everything for the dinner.

  I take my shower, spending way more time than necessary, but I enjoy the alone time and the quiet. It gives me time to think. It makes me start to question everything I thought I knew about Carson and me. I mean, before all this started, I would have loved to hear him say the words he did today, so why it is that now that he’s said it, I’m so freaked out? I love Carson, I know I do, so why am I so scared?

  I guess I’m starting to feel the way he did before this started. We’re best friends and we’ve been in each other’s lives for a long time. Any time I had a hard day, a bad breakup, or just needed someone to talk to, he was there. But now that we’re in this stupid fight, who am I supposed to talk to?

  Why couldn’t he tell me he loved me back then? Why wait until we started sleeping together? Did it take sleeping together to make him figure out his feelings? He’s always had some sort of claim to me and I thought that was more of a big brother thing. Like, he watched me grow up, and he watched out for me and protected me. On some level I knew he loved me, he had to to stick around that long. But I didn’t know what kind of love it was. Now I do.

  Ugh, this whole thing is so confusing. I mean, why didn’t he tell me before I stripped in front of my window? Why didn’t he tell me before I was throwing myself at him, trying to win him like some prize? Why did I do those things to begin with? I should have just been myself and if he liked it, great. If not, fine, nothing changes. But I was hell-bent and determined. And this is what I get.

  A buttload of confusion and heartbreak.

  I get out of the shower and pull on a pair of pajamas. I brush through my hair and slather on my face cream. Then I walk back into my room and see my closed curtains. I want to open them. See if he’s there, but I’m too scared to. What if he is there, waiting? Then what? He’ll want to talk and I don’t know if I can do that right now. I need to figure out what I want and what I want to say.

  What if it’s true? What if he does love me? Then what? He’ll go back to the city because that’s where he lives and works and I’ll what? Stay here. Live with my mom while I try to find a job and then hope and pray that I land one in the city to be close to him?

  I sit at my desk and open my computer, applying for every graphic design job I can find all around the country. I want to keep my options open. That only takes about an hour since I only have to fill out the info once and the computer imputes it into every app for me. When that’s done, I sit on my bedroom floor and start to wrap presents. I look around my room and notice that I’m not exactly feeling the Christmas spirit. This is one of my favorite times of the year. I shouldn’t let this thing with Carson bring me down. I get up, light some Christmas-scented candles, put on some Christmas music, and change into my red, white, and green pajamas I wear every year to wrap presents in. I pull the hood over my head, hoping to hide away, mostly from myself and my feelings. I wrap the gifts I bought for my mom, Carson’s mom and stepdad, and of course, Carson. Then I sneak out to the living room and put them all beneath the tree.

  Walking back into my room, I feel alone and sad. Pity party at its finest. I walk over to the window and try willing myself to peek. Just a little peek. I move the curtain slightly to the side and peek out the window. His curtains are open and the bedroom light is on. He’s sitting at his desk, looking at the blue light of the computer screen. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. He looks handsome sitting there, focusing. His dark hair is styled neatly and his jaw is covered in thick, dark stubble. I see him look down and pick up his phone. He looks at it, puts it down, and then looks over at my window. I quickly move to the side so he can’t see my eye peeking out at him.

  Slowly, I release the curtain and back away, sitting on my bed. My phone dings and I pick it up to read the message.

  Carson: I’m here when you want to talk. I’m not giving up on this.

  His message makes me feel guilty. I should just go over there and talk to him, but I can’t. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what I want. I want him. I want him to want me for me, not for some character I’ve been playing or some mask I’ve been wearing. I guess this is all my fault. I should have just been honest with him from the start. I wasn’t and now I’m paying the price.

  I drop the phone and sit up, daring another p
eek. I pull the curtain back slowly and see that he’s moved his chair from the desk to directly in front of the window as he gazes at my window, just like he did the night I danced for him. I move away from the crack in the curtain and go back to my bed. I lie down and look up at the ceiling. I take a deep breath and try to think of a happier time when things weren’t so complicated.

  “Come on, Felicity. You’re so slow with those short legs.”

  “Piss off,” I tell him, trying my best to catch up as we run across the backyard and to the forest behind our houses.

  “You shouldn’t talk like that, you know?” he says, giving me a dirty look.

  I laugh and roll my eyes. “I’m thirteen, dummy. It’s not like you don’t cuss.”

  “I didn’t say I didn’t cuss. I just said you shouldn’t. I’m older and a guy.”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Women are supposed to be polite, sweet, innocent,” he reminds me.

  I snort. “Yeah, fuck a bunch of that shit. You know me and I ain't any of those things.”

  “You’re never going to get a boyfriend with a mouth like that,” he says, leading me through the woods to the creek so we can swim.

  “Who’s looking for a boyfriend? I’m not. Have you seen the guys I go to school with? Ugh, all skinny and smelly.”

  “Smelly?”

  I laugh. “Yeah, they’re favorite thing to do is tell fart jokes. It’s gross. Please tell me at some point, you boys grow out of that.”

  He laughs. “Some of us,” he says, stopping at the creek. He kicks his shoes off and throws down his towel. Then he removes his shirt and my, oh my… Carson is nothing like the boys in my school. The boys I go to school with are skinny and don’t have any meat on their bones. But Carson, Carson has been working out and he has muscles! Real muscles. His pecs are toned, probably bigger than my practically nonexistent boobs. His stomach is covered in abs, two, four, six of them! His biceps are probably the size of my thigh! I’ve never been shy or embarrassed in front of him before, but now, I don’t want to take my clothes off even though there is a bathing suit underneath.